20-Somethings - my heart is in ten million pieces.

after several months of not getting along, last night i finally made the decision to break things off with my bf of 2 1/2 years. there hasn't been anything major or awful that's happened between us - we've just been arguing over petty stuff to the point that i'm not happy being around him.

i am emotionally devastated and don't know what to do with myself. i'm questioning my decision... every g&#d@#n thing i see is reminding me of something good/fun/sentimental about him, and i just feel like crawling in a hole and dying.

the kicker is - i love him dearly. really. i'm not into playing mind games or anything, but maybe this will open his eyes and things will eventually work out. i feel awful, awful, awful. i went to the gym this morning and blew off some steam, but now that i'm back home, the tears are flowing again. i don't want to talk to any of my friends about it. i don't want to talk to my mom about it. i just want to wave a magic wand and make things better.

thanks for reading my tale of woe. i'd appreciate any advice/consolation. and now, back to crying in my pillow.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Just remember that you are a strong person, and you did what was best for you. If you two end up together again, just take now as a learning experience. Whatever happens, you're a wonderful person and you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Don't let it get you down. <3

The same thing happened to me almost exactly a year ago. Trust me, it gets better. I had about 6 months of wanting him back and planning elaborate revenge schemes in my head, but after that it faded.

We're actually kind of friends now. Either way I do NOT want him back at this point. I have a new boyfriend who I love with no reservations and it's a million times better. If I was still with him I would probably be content to miserable instead of extremely happy.

Trust me, it hurts now. But do NOT get back together. You broke up for a reason, and for the most part, people don't change unless they really, really want to, and sometimes even then they can't. There are other guys out there, even if it doesn't feel like it now.

Trust me, it hurts now. But do NOT get back together. You broke up for a reason, and for the most part, people don't change unless they really, really want to, and sometimes even then they can't. There are other guys out there, even if it doesn't feel like it now.

I agree with the above.

Do you read? Sometimes reading can be comforting if you can concentrate enough. I just bought a book yesterday that might help. The first quote in it is:

And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

The book is called "Broken Open; How difficult times can help us grow" by Elizabeth Lesser.

I only read the first chapter in the store, but that quote just grabbed me and I knew the universe spoke to me in helping me find it.

:hug:

Just think of this time as a withdrawal period from a drug, it's going to be AWFUL, but you WILL get through it, there WILL BE AN END! and you need a good support system right now. Don't isolate. It would be like trying to kick a heroin habit on your own!

~CGH~

I really don't have anything I can tell you except give you a BIG :hug: !!!

You did the right thing. It's ok to hurt now, it's just part of the process. Good for you for going to the gym. I would have probably stayed home and eaten crap food all day. You are strong, time heals all wounds. :hug:

I had a two year relationship that ended for quite similiar reasons - no one thing as such, just him being an...yes, anyway, moving on.

I'm very sorry for your pain. But this may well bring something better - my current boyfriend is LOADS better, we've been living together for over 6 months now despite not reaching our 1 year anniversary, and it works great. My ex however, was very inferior and would never have managed that.

So many people out there you havn't met yet.

And yes I totally agree with the "you broke up for a reason" line.

As as cheesy and dumb as self-help books are "It's Called a Break Up Because It's Broken" really helped me get over my last ex. I got it out of the library when I was hurting and saw it randomly on a shelf and it really helped me out. And I am not a self-help kind of girl.

So sorry hun. Time will heal you!

O honey,

I remember the night I sat in the room I shared with my then bf, it had been 3 years and I loved him but something wasn't right, we weren't getting on. I left.

It hurts, my god it hurts like beep for ages. I am not going to say that it doesn't but it does get better.
you find yourself again. you will find love and you will be loved back.

at the moment I know you feel like doing nothing but crying....do that, and then when you feel up to it, start doing wee things to make yourself feel happy, even if its for a minute or two.

xxxx

:hug: give it time, you WILL feel better, even if that seems impossible now. When i had an awful break up i went to one of my best friends house, didnt tell her anything but just sat and cried adn was comforted. I dont know if you have anyone you can go to who will just let you cry, but if you do then you should go to them. I felt like all i wanted was to be left alone in my misery but company really did help. It reminded me that there are other people important in my life, and that the world will keep going no matter how much it seems to be falling apart from me- that in itself was strangely comforting.

I read a lot. And drank a :censored: load of tea. And i walked! I walked miles and miles, every day i would walk, just to do something- to get into a pace and not have to think about anything. If you are part of a club DONT stop going- those people probably care about you and routine helps

:hug: it gets better, even if you have to take each day minute by minute.

I honestly know how it feels! and it's horrible! all I can say is each day will get a bit easier.. and a few months from now you'll say hey I made it through this- I don't know how but I did..

When My first love broke up with me It devastated my world! I couldn't eat, sleep, go to school, nothing! I remember laying on the bathroom floor throwing up and crying for hours because the whole things just made me that sick from it! but then again mine had cheated on me with my best friend.. ugh.. anyways

you'll make it through this! you will! and you'll be a stronger person for it! just think abotu it this way at least your doing it now instead of another year or two down the road when you'll have invested 5 years into the relationship...

and if he can change and things are meant to be you'll end up back together!

in the mean time try and keep your self busy- that what got me through it I was in college for cosmetology school at the time and when ever I'd get teary eyes I work on some one hair or get my manican head out and just do it for the fun of it.. but do what ever you like to do that will keep you focused, paint, or scrap book, draw, write poerty, play games, go out dancing, what ever it is that can keep your mind focused on soemthing else

*hugs* I broke up with my boyfriend about 15 months ago because things between us just weren't working properly. It hurt like nothing I'd felt before. I was living with my sister at the time and just crawled into her bed and howled, sobbed, choked and whimpered all night - the poor thing got no sleep but she's an angel sister.

However, the reasons we weren't working were due to a combination of his having an undiagnosed and untreated severe depression and my inability to NOT take that depression personally.

After about 2 - 3 months of "not being together" but talking it through as friends...me having a huge re-think on how I approach situations and he seeing a doctor and receiving help - we got back together.

Now I know people say "don't go back" but hey...we did...and we're still going strong.

Sometimes people need a wake up call and sometimes it's for the best. Each case is individual.

*hugs again* - I used to pound the pain out at the gym as well lol. Ironically when we got back together I was in the best shape of my life :P

Yea, I've been through this too, except I handled it reeaaally badly. My friends gave me good advice and I totally ignored it and it just made it harder to get over him. So I would suggest that you try not to talk to him for a few months... at all. It will give you and him time to think rationally and with a clear head. I know its hard, but you will feel better! :hug:

Oh hunnie...I'm so sorry. I broke up with my fiance of 5 years over the summer...it was devastating and I felt like a monster for doing so...but people change in time, paths divide and people start moving in different directions.

I promise time heals. Hang tight and let it out to close family or a best friend...they'll make you feel better! Crying helps, too...but don't dwell for too long. Once you feel a bit stronger, get yourself out of the house.

Keep your chin up love! It's hard now, but the time will come when you'll realize you did the right thing!


*hugs*

Hey girl. I just broke up with my bf of 3 yrs a few weeks ago. He moved out of state and we have grown apart but I still love him to death. It was hard for the first two days but its getting easier and easier. It sounds like your situation was kind of like ours, and knowing he loves me and I love him we just aren't working out makes it a lot easier than if it had been a cheating issue or something else. I know myself and I know we can talk on the phone occassionally and its not going ot affect me. He was my best friend as well as my bf and just because he's not my bf anymore doesn't mean I have to lose my best friend too! You'll just have to judge your personality and see if that will help with the healing process. keep your head up it sucks but what doesn't kill ya only makes you stronger!

Hey, I've been there. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years (this was a few years ago) but it's very, very hard. You get close to their family and friends, and consider them your own... Then you break up with them, and nothing feels right because they were such a huge part of your life. All I can say is when you are thinking "What did I just do?" and regretting your decision-- make a list of all the reasons why you KNOW you had to break up with him, and keep that at the forefront of your mind when you are begininning to regret your decision.. You know you did the right thing. I Know it hurts right now... I hope it gets better.