100 lb. Club - So Sad!! Yet strangely inspiring...TLC 900 lb Mom




Michelle98272
01-21-2009, 01:22 AM
I'm watching TLC right now. They just showed a beautiful girl from Texas that weighed 900lbs. After being turned down for 10 years for weightloss surgery, she finally found a Dr. to help her. Her first goal was to lose weight for herself but her secondary goal was to inspire others (or in the very least to say "don't let yourself get like this!") . She agreed to have TLC and the local news cover her weightloss surgery and recovery. She ultimately lost her life due to a cardiac problem during recovery about 2 months post op. Her determination to live inspired many men and women of super morbidly obese size to finally ask for help.

I feel overwhelmed sometimes with 89+ lbs to lose, can't imagine face a 750lb weight loss. The show inspired me to really be serious about this weight loss journey! I know she didn't just wake up one day at 900 lbs. She was 255 then 355 then 455, 655, 755, 855...It is such a reminder to live for the life we have now,to make changes to live healthier, to not let the weight keep creeping up or to pretend that it's not a big deal to be overweight.

My heart goes out to family of the young lady on the show. I appreciate what she went through in hopes of helping others while getting help for herself.


Shay
01-21-2009, 01:34 AM
I had to stop watching when they kept telling her she had such a beautiful face....that statement always bothers me!

rodeogirl
01-21-2009, 01:39 AM
Because it wasn't beautiful or because it was past tense or....?

I didn't see it so not sure what you're referring to.


SuchAPrettyFace
01-21-2009, 02:02 AM
I didn't see this one, but there was one about Brookhaven? There was a guy named John who got to be quite heavy & was taken there. He was supporting himself, his wife & sister. He cooked all their meals from his bed @ home. I remember thinking how unsanitary that might be.

They snuck him snacks into the home, I do remember that. The nurses were unpacking his duffel bags & the wife & sister had hidden bags of chips in there for him. He was insisting to the nurses that he could still have his burgers & fries & chips, just in moderation. The nurses were pretty harsh with him & let him know in no uncertain terms that if he really understood moderation, then he would not be at the home. I had to really think about that one for awhile, wrap my head around it. How many times have I mindlessly eaten chocolate at work for the same reason? I'm stressed & how bad could that be? No more.

John ended up getting septic from a bedsore & passing away. I felt bad for him, and was not expecting that. The friend that he made there at the home (Scott? I don't remember, this was awhile ago.) wrote a song about him.

I was hoping they would do an update on the Half Ton Man. He seemed like such a nasty guy when the British reporter lady was there asking questions & he insisted he got to be that heavy due to genetics. I wanted them to do an update on him, but they haven't as far as I know.

There was one on Robin & Jacke. There was another one on Kathy: Escape from Obesity. That one they did an update on. She went to her HS reunion. She looked so beautiful.

There was another one, Mike from Canarsie. I can't think of his last name but he has been in & out of Brookhaven. Richard Simmons helped him lost a lot of weight in the 90's. He gained it all back. I read his blog sometimes. I am pulling for him, he seems so nice.

Didn't mean to hijack the thread, just wanted to know if anyone else has seen these?

Shay
01-21-2009, 02:07 AM
^^Meaning that common phrase that a lot of big girls get: "You have such a pretty face but..." or "You are so beautiful but..." or "You're so cute but.." or "You would be so much prettier if..." or they say it "You are just so pretty" with a look of shame or disgust like you are not living up to your potential or something.

Okay they are running a marathon of these type shows....

Shay
01-21-2009, 02:17 AM
These moms are enablers!

kaplods
01-21-2009, 05:48 AM
My husband and I watched all three programs last night (Half Ton Teen, Half Ton Mom, and Half Ton Dad). The Mom died only 14 days post-op, and just 3 days after her (older, I think) daughter's birthday, not 2 months out (not that the details matter, it just strikes me as so sad, that she barely made it to her daughter's birthday and didn't have at least a little more time with her family after the surgery).

I was actually surprised that watching was hubby's choice (he usually hates when I watch these shows). We had a really good talk both about how we both are like and not like the folks in the shows.

Hubby says he's afraid that I'm becoming more and more reclusive (this winter has been especially hard on my pain levels and I haven't wanted to do much - mostly because an irrational fear of falling in the snow and ice. I haven't really told him that, but I've fallen three times this winter already, and I'm terrified of breaking something and being incapacitated). He said if I'd become bed-bound, he wouldn't bring me unhealthy foods, in quality or quantity, and I called him on that, because he brought me chile rellenos for dinner when he came back from running some errands last night (a lower carb choice, but still not exactly the best choice). He kind of hemmed and hawed about that saying that he only did that because I HAD been very active, perhaps even a bit too active the past few days (a new medication has improved my energy level and endurance and I have a bit of a habit to want to do EVERYTHING when I'm feeling decent).

My husband said last night (ouch) that he watches me watch these shows, and he is afraid I don't see myself in them, and I told him that I very much do see myself in the shows, and that if I decided that the weight loss effort wasn't worth it, I know I would regain beyond my highest weight. It's just how weight loss works, if you abandon your efforts, you gain it all back and then some. I really do think that isolation is the last straw for folks that get this heavy. Genetics probably do play a role, how much probably varies from person to person, but I think the biggest role is a shrinking life. The smaller the person's life becomes, the more they turn to food as their only stimuli from the outside world. Food can become friend, lover, vicarious travel, adventure and entertainment, comfort, sedative, stimulant....

I do see myself as being only a half-step away from this situation. Not necessarily weighing 1000 lbs, but letting food not only control my life, but become my life. Staying active mentally, physically, and socially, reminding myself of what role I want food to take in my life, and not succumbing to frustration really are key for me. It sometimes seems so easy to give up and just stop working or caring, but that would be like a dam bursting. Watching shows like this really do remind me why that would be a terrible thing.

TraceyElaine
01-21-2009, 07:48 AM
I watch those every time they are on. I saw the half ton teen last night. I felt so bad for the mom in a way. She lodt a baby at 19months and as a result (plus I'm sure she has HUGE emotional problems) she spoiled her son almost to death with food. But, at the same time I thought how can you do that to your own child?!? THEN I thought wait a min...how can I do this to myself!! Ya know. Makes ya think. And I think that is the point of these shows. To make you look at your self.

djay
01-21-2009, 07:58 AM
I have never really understood how it could get quite that bad. May be a lack of educating myself on the issues.

If someone is so obese that they cannot even leave the house or get out of the bed to take care of themselves...How do they continue to get enough food to support that weight. Someone has to be buying and bringing them food constantly...and really bad food. Why would someone do that? Why wouldn't they say no and cut back the quantity or at least improve the quality of the diet until the person is able to fend for themselves?

I really am asking...Not judging.

bunny43
01-21-2009, 08:00 AM
I had to stop watching when they kept telling her she had such a beautiful face....that statement always bothers me!

It bothers me also. In fact, I was appalled it was a doctor saying that to her.

My blog is titled: Cute, but fat.

That is the story of my life....

You are cute, but when are you going to lose weight.

Thighs Be Gone
01-21-2009, 08:17 AM
Does anyone have any idea as to when the shows will replay? We were too busy watching UFO's & The White House last night so I missed them! :(

Kaplods, thank you for your honesty. My closest friend/adoptive mom is almost bed ridden now completely due to obesity. In fact, she isn't even bed ridden, due to breathing issues, she must stay upright in a reclining chair. Food has definitely become her outlet for everything she needs in life. I see her life "shrinking" and her food becoming even more important to her. You know, I have never considered the oppositional relationship of the two. I cannot help, I can only hope and offer my unconditional support. I make her some lowfat dish and she dumps a mountain of cheddar cheese on the top. I make her a delcious sauce and she pours whipping cream into it. She lives on a very fixed income but will spend her last dollar of the month on fried take out foods. I absolutely 100% refuse to take food to her that isn't healthy. She knows better than to even ask me.

JayEll
01-21-2009, 08:39 AM
If someone is so obese that they cannot even leave the house or get out of the bed to take care of themselves...How do they continue to get enough food to support that weight. Someone has to be buying and bringing them food constantly...and really bad food. Why would someone do that? Why wouldn't they say no and cut back the quantity or at least improve the quality of the diet until the person is able to fend for themselves?

I really am asking...Not judging.

Because it doesn't happen overnight. It happens over years. Just a little bit every day, week, month... So first they are 250 pounds, then 300, then 350... and on it goes. They may have a spouse, children, friends who care for them. As time goes on, these people may act as "enablers," but their motivation isn't to make the person more fat. Often they don't know what to do. Plus someone who is bedridden can order food delivered--I saw a show where someone ate 12,000 cals a day, most of it delivered.

One day the obese person can't get up anymore. At this point, they do need a large number of calories just to sustain life, but their metabolism has slowed down from inactivity as well. It's not a matter of what kind of food they are brought--people in this condition need medical intervention and supervision, like at Brookhaven.

You can't just take these unfortunate people and lock them in a room and give them only what you think they should eat. There's this little matter of civil rights. So even at Brookhaven, patients have to agree to the program, and even then some of them cheat--plus once they leave they may not follow the plan.

The best way to avoid this situation is never to get there.

Jay

Numina
01-21-2009, 08:58 AM
Kaploids said: "Genetics probably do play a role, how much probably varies from person to person, but I think the biggest role is a shrinking life. The smaller the person's life becomes, the more they turn to food as their only stimuli from the outside world. Food can become friend, lover, vicarious travel, adventure and entertainment, comfort, sedative, stimulant....

My gosh! That is exactly what I have been slipping into these last 5 or 6 months, a shrinking life! I see there are some aspects of my behavior I need to be looking seriously at besides food and exercise. Thanks for the AHA moment.

170starting
01-21-2009, 09:10 AM
I love all of those shows on Discovery Health and TLC. I find them so inspiring to see people taking charge of their lives. I remember a year ago I was watching a special called "The Half-Ton Man". It goes into detail about life in Brookhaven Obesity Clinic. Unfortunately, the man who lost 700+ pounds, gained it all back...and is back in treatment. His inspiration was Richard Simmons. ... his sweatin' to the oldies videos are fun...and that man was actually in one of the videos as one of the dancers (when he was thin). I hope he reaches his goal again. Although I have never been 1000lbs, we all know his struggle with food... It is an addiction for some of us... and one of the hardest to overcome because it is something needed for survival. (sigh)

Smiling_Sara
01-21-2009, 09:11 AM
I wish I remembered to watch these! I always forget!!

Schmoodle
01-21-2009, 09:27 AM
As usual, kaplods hit the nail on the head. For me, one of my big motivations to start getting healthy was that I noticed my life shrinking. I've always been heavy but never felt like it kept me from doing things I wanted or needed to do. Then I started to work from home and gained more weight and I realized I was starting to eliminate things or cut corners - sometimes I was so sneaky about it I didn't even notice it. Scary thought! I understand how those people end up in that condition. I really don't want to end up there myself.

Shay
01-21-2009, 07:44 PM
OMG the mom died...I'm so happy to have changed the channel then. I wouldn't have been able to handle it.

nelie
01-21-2009, 07:52 PM
I'm wondering if they have these shows online?

I'm not surprised that she was denied for surgery so many times because surgery is so much more riskier when you are extremely moridly obese. She should've really got down to the 400 range or so before they gave her the surgery.

Of course that is something to remember for all of us who have any excess weight. Medical issues are harder to diagnose and surgery becomes riskier the heavier you are. So it could be a tumor or an emergency medical procedure, your weight affects your overall outcome.

2ndChance09
01-21-2009, 09:14 PM
These types of shows really freak me out and motivate me. The first time I saw one I was like wow that would never be me and then I went and got a big bowl of ice cream. After that I realized that wow I might not be at the point that these people are at but if you keep binging for years sooner or later it will catch up to you and by that point it is so hard to lose the weight. The first time I really felt like I might be getting out of control was after I had my second baby. I was 250 lbs and saw that if I kept going I could easily get to 300 and then 400.

Michelle98272
01-21-2009, 09:27 PM
These types of shows really freak me out and motivate me. The first time I saw one I was like wow that would never be me and then I went and got a big bowl of ice cream. After that I realized that wow I might not be at the point that these people are at but if you keep binging for years sooner or later it will catch up to you and by that point it is so hard to lose the weight. The first time I really felt like I might be getting out of control was after I had my second baby. I was 250 lbs and saw that if I kept going I could easily get to 300 and then 400.

For 10 years my weight stayed steady at 238 lbs with no effort on my part. I wasn't happy about it but not too freaked out either...it didn't seem that big. Then my boyfriend moved in and I gained a lot. I woke up one morning at 261 lbs. I realize that 238 to 261 isn't a huge difference but something clicked in my brain. HOLY SH**!! 250 lbs was the cut off in some sick or twisted way that signified FAT. I skipped right over 250 and went straight to 261! (200 used to be the cut off in my brain, I was 197 for a long time...I didn't consider myself fat because "atleast I don't weigh 200". )

I got down to 254, just by drinking water and eating a little bit less. Then I joined WW. All the while my BF's weight creeped up and up and up. It wasn't until he was too big to sleep lying down that he realized he needed to do something. I see him in those shows more that I see myself. All he did was work, eat, sleep, eat, work, eat, sleep, eat. He's gained 100 lbs in the year that I've known him. He can no longer buy clothes at regular stores, has to order out of catalogs, can't sleep in a bed, takes up the whole love seat so that I can't sit with him anymore. He sits on the loveseat and asks for this and that to be brought to him because it is too much of an effort to stand up. It really scares me that he's gone too far and that I'm not that far behind him.

I think that's why I watch those shows...to scare myself into not getting too complacent.

MaddiesMom
01-21-2009, 09:32 PM
I was addicted to these shows as well. What I found most disturbing is when they mentioned that the life expectancy of our children will be less than ours due to the epidemic of childhood obesity. That's a scary thought. That has definitely motivated me to get moving and teach my daughter healthy eating and exercising habits.

I was so sad about the 900 pound woman...such an inspiration to others. She was so brave. The Half Ton Teen bothered me more because of the babying that went on between him and his mother. He was completely helpless, which I think the mother preferred, because then she could always take care of him. Losing a child is completely horrible, but just goes to show that when something that traumatic happens, you really need to seek help.

fiberlover
01-21-2009, 09:41 PM
I cried over this show, too. I was totally shocked that she passed away. What brave little girls she has.

Michelle98272
01-21-2009, 11:11 PM
I was addicted to these shows as well. What I found most disturbing is when they mentioned that the life expectancy of our children will be less than ours due to the epidemic of childhood obesity. That's a scary thought. That has definitely motivated me to get moving and teach my daughter healthy eating and exercising habits.

I was so sad about the 900 pound woman...such an inspiration to others. She was so brave. The Half Ton Teen bothered me more because of the babying that went on between him and his mother. He was completely helpless, which I think the mother preferred, because then she could always take care of him. Losing a child is completely horrible, but just goes to show that when something that traumatic happens, you really need to seek help.

One thing the Mom said in the Half Ton Teen show, "I'll never leave you, baby." They played that atleast twice maybe 3 times in the 1 hour show. It struck me that she was insuring that he'd never be able to leave her by feeding, feeding, feeding him. She even gave him baths and scrubbed his face like an infant! It is like hobbling a horse or clipping a birds wings. He was really trapped by her benevolent toxicity. Not only could he not physically leave but he had the self help skills of an infant. My 8 year old son has more skills than he did. It was very sad!!

One child had left her (through death). She made sure this one wouldn't be able to.

chick_in_the_hat
01-22-2009, 12:22 AM
I'm wondering if they have these shows online?

Half ton man (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-162531092497573171)

LuvMyMr
01-22-2009, 12:50 AM
She should've really got down to the 400 range or so before they gave her the surgery.


I agree and that doctor was crazy to have her do the surgery because the risk is that she would die on the table, although she didn't but she passed away anyway. There is the show also called Big Medicine. Not sure if it's still on but that show angered me because even when people were not mentally ready to have the surgery they would do it anyway because it was like $25 or $30,000 and I think that's all they cared about. I have seen those shows. My ex boyfriend called them my fat shows but weight loss shows are always fascinating to me.

The phrase, you have a pretty face, is so annoying and insulting. It's like their saying your face is pretty but holy sh*t what happened to the rest of you! I had a guy trying to sell me cds one time and I was going to buy one until he said, you have a pretty face. I immediately put my wallet away and walked away angry. People think it's a compliment but it really is not and I wish they would stop using it!

JayEll
01-22-2009, 07:35 AM
Remember that if you ask a surgeon what the best treatment is for ANYTHING, he or she is most likely going to say surgery. It's what they do! They aren't going to say, Oh, go see a nutritionist, unless it's to prepare one for surgery. Most surgeons are just focused on this one narrow solution.

Jay

SuchAPrettyFace
01-23-2009, 03:33 AM
The phrase, you have a pretty face, is so annoying and insulting. It's like their saying your face is pretty but holy sh*t what happened to the rest of you! I had a guy trying to sell me cds one time and I was going to buy one until he said, you have a pretty face. I immediately put my wallet away and walked away angry. People think it's a compliment but it really is not and I wish they would stop using it!That's exactly why I chose it for my username. Words have no power over me unless I choose to give them power. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I used to hear "You have SAPF" all the time from my own grandmother. It doesn't bother me anymore, and I hope one day it won't bother you, either.

purpleorc
01-23-2009, 10:23 AM
After watching one such programme nigh on two years ago I had a lightbulb moment and a big wake up call. Like kaplods has said in her previous post I could see my world shrinking at a fast pace of knots. This was due to my poor mobility and I was struggling to walk big time.

I was not certain at the time whether my poor mobility was due to my MS or my ever increasing weight. Though the way I was going I was looking at a wheelchair within the next year and a half.

I have lost now a big portion of my weight and my mobility has improved to the point I am not looking a wheelchair today. My mobility is far from perfect at times I look like I am drunk but that is due to the MS rather than my weight. So it showed that most of my mobility issues was down to my weight.

I am still learning to tackle my issues with food and it probably always will be an issue for me. I am glad that programmes on morbid obesity are shown if it turns around the life of one person and puts them on the road to a healthy life style then it is worth it. For me in a nutshell my weight lose has given me freedom.

Gardenwife
01-23-2009, 05:09 PM
Howie and I watched these shows over the last couple of days. We, too, talked about what brings a person to such a point and how families and friends enable the person to continue.

I think about the behavior of other addicts and how it relates to this addiction. Addicts are experts at manipulation. They are skilled at getting those around them to provide what they want. Their primary concern is gaining access to their drug. They may love their families, but the addiction overshadows all and it's rooted in a hopeless selfishness that only an addict can comprehend.

Throw in a good dose of dysfunction and familial guilt and you've got a powder keg.

I imagine many provide food to these individuals just to keep the peace. They know the person can't provide for his or herself, so they stay out of love and/or obligation. They remain wrapped up in that whole sick vicious circle. It must be a nightmare.

My heart goes out to those girls who lost their mom. I wonder how they're doing.

nelie
01-23-2009, 07:11 PM
Half ton man (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-162531092497573171)

Thank you. I watched it and it is extremely sad. Its also sad that he is in denial of his situation, he said he ate normally and it was genetics but then you see him after weight loss surgery eating KFC and talking about having more fried chicken as a snack later then eating cheetos (not sure?) and calling them his protein snack. Then he says that he avoid high fat, high sodium foods.

Gardenwife
01-23-2009, 07:15 PM
Renee (the half-ton mom) was also in denial, saying her stomach has always been flat, and her waist is actually small. We all battle with our various areas of denial. How many of us see ourselves in our heads like we look in our photos, you know?

nelie
01-23-2009, 07:35 PM
I've always been in denial and photos of me at my highest weight couldn't possibly be me. I also was in denial about some of my food for a really long time. Of course now I have the opposite issue, I feel like I weigh 300 lbs and can't believe photos of me are me because I'm obviously bigger (in my mind).

Glory87
01-24-2009, 02:56 PM
Wow, watching Half Ton Man now. That part where he says that he would "rip to shreds" anyone who denies him what he wants - scary!!

LuvMyMr
01-24-2009, 09:15 PM
Thank you. I watched it and it is extremely sad. Its also sad that he is in denial of his situation, he said he ate normally and it was genetics but then you see him after weight loss surgery eating KFC and talking about having more fried chicken as a snack later then eating cheetos (not sure?) and calling them his protein snack. Then he says that he avoid high fat, high sodium foods.

Was this the one who had the wife who was buying food for him and she said something about he can't drink water so she was buying him soda pop? And he was saying something about how he likes them fat, 40 and something else that starts with an f?

LuvMyMr
01-24-2009, 09:17 PM
Renee (the half-ton mom) was also in denial, saying her stomach has always been flat, and her waist is actually small. We all battle with our various areas of denial. How many of us see ourselves in our heads like we look in our photos, you know?

Yeah I saw that. In my photos of me being my heaviest, there was no way I could say I have a little this or that. I was huge and it was heart breaking. I am sorry I missed this marathon. I always find out too late.

bargoo
01-24-2009, 09:25 PM
I saw that program about the 900 pound woman and just couldn't get it out of my head. She was only about 27 years old. It made me feel so bad I was sorry I watched it.