30-Somethings - Fear of food...




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Violin Jenn
01-16-2009, 10:04 PM
kinda strange huh?

But there it is. I realized a few weeks ago that I actually am afraid to eat. It's a strange thought considering I'm tryingto lose weight. Once I was 260lbs now I'm 175lbs. I want to lose another 10lbs maybe 5 more after that, but I just don't want to eat. The only thing that Ican think of is that food is what got me to 260lbs. I force myself to eat these days and am lucky to reach 1400 calories.

Even though I eat healthy foods most of the times, it doesn't seem to ease my fear. Anyone else encounter this? I could easily become annorexic it's that bad. I find that I force myself to eat cookies some days just to make certain that I have enough calories for my body to function.

How do I get past this?


Lovely
01-16-2009, 11:07 PM
Food is not the enemy.

The way in which we use food is our problem. Healthy food is good fuel. It actually helps us lose weight.

Maybe repeating something good in your head as you eat something healthy will help.

"This salad has some great vegetables that will provide me with good nutrition."

"This chicken I made will fill me with protein."

Find something good about the food you eat. Food isn't all bad calories.

rileyozzy
01-16-2009, 11:12 PM
Do you write what you eat down? I know when I am really losing, I am writing down everything I eat and I am planning ahead. It gives me a sense of control and since it's planned, you don't feel "guilty" for eating it.


Violin Jenn
01-17-2009, 10:00 AM
Do you write what you eat down? I know when I am really losing, I am writing down everything I eat and I am planning ahead. It gives me a sense of control and since it's planned, you don't feel "guilty" for eating it.


Hi Rileyozzy! I do keep a food journal, a very anal food journal. I write down the next day's menu the night before, down to the 25 calorie mug of hot chocolate, peice of gum allowed or 20 calorie piece of hard candy. Every bit of food is weighed, measured and counted. I am very goal oriented. So I am trying to use that by setting a goal of 1000-1200 healthy calories a day before dinner. This way whatever I eat for dinner will get me into a healthy range non-starvation range.

I'll have to try what Faerie suggested and think of all the healthy nutritional values in the food.

LBH
01-17-2009, 11:04 AM
Jenn, Congrats on your loss! I wonder, since you are soo anal about writing down the day's menu the night before, maybe if you can make yourself right down enough food to get your 1400 calories, you would eat it, because you're soo serious about following the plan? KWIM? BTW, do you have any progress pics posted? I'd love to see them, since we're the same height, and my goal is 180.

Masstacular
01-17-2009, 09:54 PM
It might also be that where you're so close to your goal that you're afraid that once you get there you'll have "nowhere to go but up." I think what you're feeling is normal. We all feel it when we first start losing weight. For those of us that have a lot to lose, we fall into the grove in the middle, because we have "so far to go, and this is working." Just my .02. Congratulations on being so close to your goal. I'm sure when you reach it around Easter you'll eat that piece of chocolate and never look back. :D

Jeannette311
01-19-2009, 07:29 AM
I'm usually okay but a couple weeks into dieting/working out I get really nervous around food. If I go over my plan I get really upset and I'll either squeeze in more cardio or just blow it and eat a ton of crap because at that point I feel like I'm destined to fail anyway.

I'm trying not to get like that this time.

poppyseeds
01-19-2009, 08:31 AM
I don't fear food. I have tried every diet under the sun and always... always, gained the weight back. Food is not the problem for me. For me, it's my lack of appreciation for myself and how hard I've worked to get the weight off. I gain it back faster than the blink of an eye.

I have found f I become obessed with each calorie, I will eventually fail because I cannot live like that forever. I need a plan that I can do for the rest of my life. A plan that allows me the freedom to eat with my family and enjy family functions. Too many times I avoided friends and family because I was on yet another diet and didn't want to have to eat "bad" food.

This time, I have gotten so acclaimated with my eating plan that it is all normal. I eat healthy meals including whole grains and veggies including dinner with my family. If they have hot dogs and tater tots, so do I. Most importantly we eat out/take out every saturday night. Sometimes wings and cheese fries... sometimes cheesesteaks or pizza... sometimes both!!! LOL I never feel guilty about the food I eat. If I make a mistake, I just eat better at my next meal.

I started my new life in June 2008. I needed a change. I've lost 27 pounds so far and I feel awesome. No, the weight isn't melting off like it did with Nutrisystem or the other plans that alienated me from family meals but I have a sense of who I am and of what I can do... and it's not about food. It's about healthy choices that have just become a normal part of my daily life. Last week I was PMS'ing so bad and I would kill over a hershey bar. I asked my hubby to go get me ice cream and he went and got me chocolate ice cream from Coldstone Creamery. I sat and ate that ice cream without a care in the world. I ate it slow and savored every drop without guilt. I wanted it, I ate it... it was the first ice cream I ate in 7 months.

I still managed to lose 2.5 pounds last week WITH TOM!!! LOL

You know when you're dieting and you can't wait to get to goal? Why do you think that is? It's because hitting your goal to most of us means getting to eat what we want again.

This time, when I get to goal, I don't have to change a thing. Just keep living!! :)

I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Enjoy your life. Eat well but enjoy your food. Congratulations on your success so far... :)

IrishJoan
01-19-2009, 08:26 PM
Valerie ~ Bingo! How true about being anxious to reach our goal weight and thinking that it will be ok to each whatever and whenever we want. That really hit a chord with me. I'm in this for the long haul. Thanks!!!

poppyseeds
01-19-2009, 09:30 PM
Yeah Joan... I would stop looking forward to my goal of being thinner and start looking forward to goal so I could go to Burger King!!! ROFL!!!

Now if I have a Big Mac attack... we'll just have it saturday night for dinner. Since I weigh in on saturday mornings, that gives me a whole week to burn it off!! LOL :)

bindersbee
01-22-2009, 05:44 AM
Valerie,

I also have found your words to be very comforting. I've been doing the same thing you have this time around. I've only lost 16 or so pounds since starting in mid-September because I'm going slow and making livable changes.

What's also helped me is reading the maintainer's forum here at 3FC. That's been a real attitude adjustment and helped me think more long term. I'm 'sprinting' right now by doing a lot more exercise because I have the emotion called motivation. However, I've given myself permission to slow down when that emotion wanes. There is NO end point. What I learned from the Maintainers is that you pretty much have to keep doing what you were doing before just to maintain.

It's really hard to give yourself 'permission' to be less than 'perfect' about eating without going whole hog backwards. Just a little less perfect. For the OP, it sounds like you may want to start mentally preparing for maintenance without fear. I don't think your fear is unreasonable- it's normal under the circumstances BUT it's not the best way to live. Sometimes I ask myself, "what is the LEAST I can do and still lose a little weight this week?" and then I eat that way. If I don't still lose a little, the next week I cut back more. Maybe it's time to start experimenting with 'What is the LEAST I can do?" yourself?

GainingWeightInLa
01-22-2009, 09:30 AM
You guys ROCK.....seriously! I always learn a new way of looking at things when I come here....Oh to be as wise as others! How nice that would be for me! :shrug:

poppyseeds
01-22-2009, 09:40 AM
Bee - "There is NO end point"... love that! It's so true. I will have to maintain for the rest of my life, there is no way around it. If I eep going the way I am, I will continue to lose until my body gets to a weight that it can maintain in a healthy way.

Sure I have a goal weight of 160, hopefully get to 150 but if I get to 160 and am happy, or 165 and feel good, I won't be disappointed.

I'm going to check out that maintainers board you mentioned. Congrats on your 16 pounds!!! That is amazing!! It's nice to know that the pounds will still come off even if your not obsessing and starving yourself!!! LOL

OP and Bee... If you can, come join our Daily 30 Something Chat thread each day!! Lots of good posts and friends. A great place to check in every day, either to just say hi or blow off steam.

:)

Riayn
01-25-2009, 08:52 PM
Poppyseed, I just love your approach to weight loss. To endeavour to eat healthy, but if you do have a naughty meal, you accept it and move on. I think many people forget that weight loss is not just for now, it is for life and we need to develop an eating plan that we can live with for however long we are in this life.
I just can't do calorie counting and weighing of foods or having to eat certain menus. It just doesn't feel real to me. Also, it would mean that my gf and I would need to cook separate meals. Thankfully, we do eat fairly healthy already and it is easy to make little changes like buying low fat milk.
For me, exercising is the key. If I burn off what I put in my mouth I will lose weight. If I splurge on something, then I know I will have to work my butt off to make up for it.

poppyseeds
01-26-2009, 08:04 AM
Changing things up about the way you eat will feel a little strange at first. It should. If it doesn't, you're doing it wrong... LOL

After you get used to it, it will feel normal. In the summer, when I was able to get outside and walk with my husband each day, the weight practically fell off and left a trail behind me. I remember one night we were walking and I said to him that it felt strange to be losing weight easily and without really thinking about it. He said that the reason this time is different is because I'm approaching it on realistic terms. No more eating alone and crying because I can't eat what they're eating. No more crazy meals. No more expecting miracles when I step on the scale. I walk and I try to make good food choices. That's it.

My arthritis is very bad in the winter (I just turned 40) and I put exercise on hold til it gets warmer. I work in retail so I'm constantly on the move so that's my exercise! LOL I love to walk my dog with DH and am looking forward to it again this spring.

Be true to yourself. It's OK to be out of sorts the first couple of weeks but everything should fall into place within a month. My 3FC blog (link on left) as a page with my general meal plan, if you're interested. My main blog is at sparkpeople.com but I haven't had time to update it in a while.

Best of luck to you!! :)

Bluebird
01-26-2009, 10:03 AM
Valerie,

I just wanted to comment here to applaud your attitude. You are very inspiring, and I wish everyone could read what you wrote here!

I went from being very overweight in high school to being very underweight and anorexic in college and for several years after. It took me a long time to come to terms with food and my body. I finally feel as if I'm at a healthy spot with my weight, but more importantly, with the way I feel about myself.

It is still a struggle sometimes, to be honest, and I find myself slipping into old behaviors occasionally, but I try to recognize it when it happens. "Food is not the enemy" - YES, so true!

When I read Violin Jenn's post, I immediately recognized that behavior as anorexic behavior. As you probably know, anorexia nervosa literally means fear of gaining weight. Jenn, I am glad you recognize this bahavior, and I hope you take the advice you have been given here and take care of yourself! Your health is much more important than your weight, so be good to YOU!

poppyseeds
01-26-2009, 06:26 PM
"It is still a struggle sometimes, to be honest, and I find myself slipping into old behaviors occationally, but I try to recognize it when it happens."

EXACTLY!! I couldn't have said it better myself.

I slipped into anorexia as a 16 year old. I didn't eat for long periods of time. Weeks and months at a time. I finally realized what I was doing when people kept telling me how thin I was and I all I saw in the mirror were my faults/flab/you-name-it. I found myself slipping into it a few more times as I entered my 20's but now I know that you lose weight, you must eat.

Thank you for saying I'm inspiring. That made me feel great!! I am just trying to be successful like everyone else... but if I can help some one else who is going through the same things that I am... it makes all the difference to me.

:)