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Old 01-10-2009, 02:29 PM   #1  
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Default My mental breakthrough...I am finally letting go
So yesterday I had an experience that I would like to share.

A little background first: Up until 10 years ago I never had a problem with weight. I then started to take ( in 1998) antidepressants and gained a total of about 70 lb over all these years.

Finally in November 2007 I managed to get off them and have been totally medication free for....well, one year and two months now.

However, I THOUGHT that by stopping the medication the weight I had gained would just..... fall off. It didn't.

I realized yesterday finally for the first time, that it won't. I have been fighting it and denying it and fighting it for one year and two months, the thought that it will just "fall off" and I can eat what I want and exercise when I want because eventually I'll get back to normal naturally.

Yesterday I went to get a 6" turkey sub. Before I could stop the lady making my sandwich, she squired full fat mayo on my sandwich. I gasped a little inside but took the sandwich anyway. As I was walking back to work I kept thinking about the mayo. Then I stopped myself and said "this is RIDICULOUS, you're worrying about a little full-fat mayo? What is wrong with you?"

And then I realized "YES - this is definitely the type of thing I need to think about. I have to work off the mayo. I HAVE TO work these things off!!"

And then it hit me, and all of a sudden I completely let go of the fight that I have been fighting for one year and two months. The pity party I have been whining about, "but why do I have to worry about this, I never had to worry before, but I'm off medications now...it's not fair". ETC.

I GET IT. I DO have to worry about it. And just like that, I felt like I broke through my own resistance, and started a new journey.

~CGH~
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Old 01-10-2009, 02:34 PM   #2  
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Old 01-10-2009, 02:46 PM   #3  
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Old 01-10-2009, 02:47 PM   #4  
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It isn't fair, is it?

Thanks for posting that...cause it's totally true.
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Old 01-10-2009, 02:56 PM   #5  
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awesome

did U ask for mayo anyways?? just curious lol
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Old 01-10-2009, 02:59 PM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RN BSN 2009 View Post
awesome

did U ask for mayo anyways?? just curious lol
I said "a little bit of lite mayo". lol.

~CGH~
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Old 01-10-2009, 03:06 PM   #7  
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They have done that to me before at Subway. I take vinegar only there--NOT oil and vinegar. I have made them remake the entire sandwich.
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Old 01-10-2009, 03:11 PM   #8  
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Even tho for different reasons, I too had to have a mental breakthrough, yes, I really am fat, I'm ticked off about having to deal with this, but I do have to deal with it, me and no one else.
Good luck on your journey, I think that first step is the hardest.
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Old 01-10-2009, 04:14 PM   #9  
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good for you. I understand about the anti-depressants. I gained a total of 30 pounds in a year and a half ... EFFEXOR XR is the devil's pill. I wish you luck, and know you are not alone in fighting this battle~
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Old 01-10-2009, 08:27 PM   #10  
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No, it's not fair, is it? But no one ever said it was going to be. *sigh*

I'm happy for you for having your realization. This sounds like it could really be the start of something.
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Old 01-11-2009, 01:43 AM   #11  
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It's hard to be able to pinpoint where things went wrong and then not be able to reverse them. I look back at so many more bad habits I used to have and even though I don't have them anymore, I still suffer the consequences.

I would also like to say congratulations on being able to ditch the medications. I hope to be there one day too, but I guess it just takes time.

Good luck.
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Old 01-11-2009, 06:55 AM   #12  
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I'm so happy for you! It's not easy, but you're finally getting there now!
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