So yesterday I had an experience that I would like to share.
A little background first: Up until 10 years ago I never had a problem with weight. I then started to take ( in 1998) antidepressants and gained a total of about 70 lb over all these years.
Finally in November 2007 I managed to get off them and have been totally medication free for....well, one year and two months now.
However, I THOUGHT that by stopping the medication the weight I had gained would just..... fall off. It didn't.
I realized yesterday finally for the first time, that it won't. I have been fighting it and denying it and fighting it for one year and two months, the thought that it will just "fall off" and I can eat what I want and exercise when I want because eventually I'll get back to normal naturally.
Yesterday I went to get a 6" turkey sub. Before I could stop the lady making my sandwich, she squired full fat mayo on my sandwich. I gasped a little inside but took the sandwich anyway. As I was walking back to work I kept thinking about the mayo. Then I stopped myself and said "this is RIDICULOUS, you're worrying about a little full-fat mayo? What is wrong with you?"
And then I realized "YES - this is definitely the type of thing I need to think about. I have to work off the mayo. I HAVE TO work these things off!!"
And then it hit me, and all of a sudden I completely let go of the fight that I have been fighting for one year and two months. The pity party I have been whining about, "but why do I have to worry about this, I never had to worry before, but I'm off medications now...it's not fair". ETC.
I GET IT. I DO have to worry about it. And just like that, I felt like I broke through my own resistance, and started a new journey.
~CGH~