Ok, so there's this boy at work. We've known each other since I've started at my work in April of 08. He's the only person that I consider a friend at work. We laugh, joke, flirt and have a great time.
We have had conversations on the phone, via text, and in person. A few of our conversations were deep and some were exploratory.
We've talked about liking each other but not wanting to mess up our friendship or work relationship. But then we've also talked about this chemistry b/t us.
He's been gone the past 3 weeks. Today is his first day back. All day I've been smiling and we've been talking and it's been cool. But I don't want to like him! I think he's a better friend and I don't think he's looking for the same things I am.
What do I do? How do I act? I can't help but think about him. He told me while he was gone that he was thinking about me and blah blah blah. Today he asked me what my family thought of my healthy lifestyle and the change in my appearance. It was sweet for him to ask and to remember.
Personally, I have the motto of not becoming involved with people I work with. I've had that semi- happen on two occassions and let's just say... it ends awkwardly, if not horribly.
I'm in a long term relationship with my at the time boss. WE were friends way before he was my boss, and he changed jobs shortly after we were together (not because of us, just a better job).
I met my DH at work too, granted we didn't work together. Most of the guys i've dated I met at work, and it never seemed to be a big deal if we broke up. At least not to me, but then again I used to be your standard 5-guys-on-the-sidelines type of gal... *ahem* so I guess i'm not privvy to how the other side felt, but nobody ever up and quit and we never had issues.
I think if you lay out the rules before hand about behaving like adults and keeping work and your after hours social situations distinctly separate you'll be fine, but it requires that the other party have a certain level of maturity, no wives, and no latent psycho tendencies.
Proceed with caution if you do decide to proceed, but most of all just have fun. Men are great.
Last edited by NishKitten; 01-06-2009 at 02:20 PM.
I love work crushes! They are fun and make you actually WANT to go to work. I think they are a great distraction. If you don't want to ruin the friendship maybe just act casual?
I personally have only had bad experinces with work romances but my mom met her husband at work and I know tons of couples who met while working together and have gone on to have great relationships so I think it's more a matter of the people versus the work scenario.
work crushes are fun! i remember one that made me absolutely love my job and love going to work! but it was just a crush and never turned into anything. I sometimes wish I had been more assertive and confident when it came to liking boys and never going for any of them. You'll have to ask yourself if you'll regret not trying out a relationship with him more than giving up a good friendship.
Enjoy the school girl feelings! If it leads to more... it might work out better if you weren't directly in contact with each other often -- or at all... but that's just my experience.
Thanks girls for your input! I still don't know what I'm going to do, but I do look forward to seeing him everyday. I really feel that I can't make any decisions right now. I think he and I might hang out sometime and that should be fun. I think it would be good to be out of the work atmosphere before I made any final descisions. I wasn't sure if I was thinking correctly or letting my emotions get the best of me. lol I do feel good that he is by far the cutest guy at work. But I just have this gut feeling that it's more a physical attraction than anything else. You know what I mean?
That happens, but having the opportunity to spend time with him may reveal more than just a physical attraction.
And honestly I don't think it matters where you meet- even if it is at work. If it's love, it's love, and you shouldn't try to stop it. So good luck and have fun, especially if this friendship blossoms into something more. And if not, at least you have a great friend still! And if it does blossom, and withers, who cares! That's life! It will be okay, and at least you know you gave love a chance.
It could be I'm a LITTLE bit of a romantic, but I really believe in this. Otherwise I wouldn't be married to my amazing husband, who is my best friend and although he was not a coworker, we were part of a service committee together and it could have blown up in our faces. But it didn't and we're married, happily, for going on 3 years and we have a lovely little girl. Good luck HWGA!
I feel like a school girl, what do I do?
WE were friends way before he was my boss, and he changed jobs shortly after we were together (not because of us, just a better job).
