Weight Loss Support - Does your SO know your actual weight?!

01-01-2009, 04:23 AM
Just wondering if I am the only one that hasn't told my DH my actual weight. I carry my weight well and look like I weigh less than I do. My DH thinks I weigh somewhere around 160-170 and I let him think it lol. Of course when I reach goal I will be telling everyone my weight!

01-01-2009, 05:13 AM
Yeah, my fiance and I diet together and sadly gain weight together as well, so I'm pretty honest with him about my actual weight. I'm not totally sure what it is at the moment, it's been a rough year, but I'm here and I'm hoping to get back on track.

01-01-2009, 06:07 AM
Nooo way. At my highest I weighed more than him. I never told him. Thought those kinda things were better of unsaid!! ;]

01-01-2009, 06:38 AM
Mine does but I'd rather he didn't, he's 4 inches TALLER than me and weighs a good 7lbs less :o ... I might be old fashioned but I want to weigh less than my much taller male partner.

01-01-2009, 07:15 AM
no, not yet. I have promised that when I reach my goal weight I will tell him how much I weigh. He knows how much I have lost, so he can figure out what my highest was if he wants to!

01-01-2009, 08:25 AM
My dh teases me by trying to "guess" but I won't tell. His numbers are always much lower, but I know he is just trying to be nice!

01-01-2009, 09:01 AM
Yep. Wify knows my weight, she is a very important part of why I am able to continue to lose weight.

165 pounds down in 2008 and I will hit ,my goal in 2009!

As Ever

01-01-2009, 09:48 AM
Absolutely! It doesn't bother me to tell him. I know his weight (which is a good 30 pounds lower than mine) and he knows mine- he's always in the room when I weigh in!

01-01-2009, 10:11 AM
Now that I have lost about 9lbs, I did tell him my highest weight yesterday. (around the first if Dec I weighed 200lbs)He had a very minimal reaction, I know he would have never guess it. He is 3 inches taller than me and weighs about 15-20lbs less than I do. I felt he need to know the importance of why I was losing weight.

01-01-2009, 10:13 AM
Not so much! It will be easier to admit it when I weight a few pounds less...although latley he has been calling himself a "chubby chaser" so maybe he does know!! lol

01-01-2009, 10:24 AM
Yup he knows. He went to every prenatal appt with me through both pregnancies, kinda hard to hide. I try to not let it bother me, he weighs much less than I do though (he's 5'10'' 120lbs). I don't think I'll ever weight less than him, but personally I feel that he is underweight.

01-01-2009, 10:56 AM
All Angie has to do to see how much I weigh is to look at the journal I keep, next to the scale, where I weigh myself every morning.

She has never asked how much I weigh. When I hit "milestones" on my journey down from 201 I would tell her but other than that it only comes up when I mention it.

01-01-2009, 11:14 AM
Yes, and I know his.

01-01-2009, 11:19 AM
For years I didn't know my weight, let alone my DH. Once I started this journey, I told him. That way he could help celebrate my milestones with me. He has been such a blessing on this journey - It would have been much harder without his help!

Weight is just a number. It doesn't define who we are. It is what it is and just like every other aspect of my life, sharing that info with my DH is a natural part of our relationship.

LOL - now EVERYONE in the family knows my weight. We got a wii fit for Christmas. So every time I do my body test, my BMI and weight flash on a giant screen in my living room (we use a data projector for a TV).

Honestly, though it was hard to admit to folk I weighed 215 lbs, I'm glad I have been open and honest about it. Otherwise, I could never publicly celebrate losing 90+ lbs. I tell anyone who asks what my starting weight was. If I can help anyone else on their journey - it is worth it.

01-01-2009, 11:20 AM
I scream in joy every time i reach a mini goal so im sure he knows what my weight is :D

Billies Pottery
01-01-2009, 11:24 AM
My husband is a full foot taller than me. He weighs himself in the evenings hoping he has gained a few!
I have been too ashamed to tell him that i weigh a few pounds more than he does now. I'm sure he knows though.

01-01-2009, 12:51 PM
Over the last year, I've gained almost 50 lbs back due to not paying attention, giving up, and being majorly stressed out over a new promotion at work. I confessed three mornings ago, in bed, and in the midst of a lot of self-loathing tears. He hugged me and told me that I will do it this time. It was hard telling him the truth, but I do feel emotionally lighter having done so.

01-01-2009, 01:08 PM
He knows now what my weight is but we both didn't new what my weight was in 2007...when i had the guts to step on the scale i told him and he didn't look surprise, even though he's a foot taller than me and he was 30-40 lbs lighter back then

01-01-2009, 01:13 PM
**** no. He's a tad under 6ft and weighs 135-140. (He's a martial artist so it's all lean muscle!! Lucky!) He could really care less how much I weigh, and he thinks I'm fine the way I am, but supports me because he knows losing weight will make me happier.

He's pretty awesome.

01-01-2009, 01:15 PM
Ever since I lost weight I don't hesitate to shout it from the rooftops.

Ok I'm not that bad, but DH knows. the funny thing is, he's the one that's sensitive and hates telling me after he weighs himself.

01-01-2009, 01:27 PM
Actually, one of the things that spurred me on to this weight loss journey was finding myself being cagey about this question during a conversation with my husband. But we did this weight loss thing together, and as he designed the computer spreadsheet to track our loss and do a five day average for me (...at my request.), he knew all the way down and still knows exactly what I weigh and I know exactly what he weighs. It probably helps that I keep a chart in my bathroom that I put a dot on every morning when I weigh. In fact, he is more concerned about me going under my red line on the bottom end -- and getting to thin -- than he ever was about me being overweight. He has lived with me through my last big weight loss and maintenance in my late twenties when I lost +- 50 pounds and maintained it for 4 years (Right before we had kids)...and I was, oh, just a tad obsessive that time and got pretty thin...down to Size 2, not eating much of anything, and working out 2 hours a day...and I think he is worried I will do that again. I won't. I am older and smarter and more interested in my "health" this time around, but I think internally he is concerned about it, and he loves me.

01-01-2009, 01:49 PM
I don't have an SO. I have told any friends or family who asked how much I've lost. But I don't think I ever said my high weight. I guess I am still a little sensitive about it, although not about saying how much I've lost. I know, doesn't really make sense. I'm not sure I've mentioned my current weight either, so it's not like the math is completely obvious either. I'd actually like to say my current weight, I like it, but without being actually asked, I won't, because I don't want to be obnoxious about the weight loss thing.

01-01-2009, 02:06 PM
Mine has never asked. I would like to believe I will be honest if he does.
I haven't actually said how much I am losing either, just that i am working on it. I don't want the pressure of how much loss and how fast. I am content for it to go slowly.
Interesting thread.
Btw: I often leave my posts up on the computer so I am not actively hiding it. we just don't discuss it. He is just positive about my eating healthier.
He will always come for a walk if i want company.

01-01-2009, 02:13 PM
Ya'lls hubby's sound so supportive!! Although I can't get mine to work out with me, he's pretty supportive too.

01-01-2009, 02:17 PM
Yes. A big step for me, in committing to my diet and staying committed was to admit my starting weight - which ashamed me. Once he knew I weighed near 300 pounds, when he likely thought I weighed 100 pounds less - I felt that I HAD to keep going. He didn't/doesn't care a bit, loves me no matter what... it was pressure placed upon myself by myself.

These days he knows what I weigh everyday, I keep a calendar hanging in the bathroom with my weight noted on it each day.

01-01-2009, 02:34 PM
Umm..GOOD GOD NO!!! :)
privlaged information between me and my Dr.

DH could care less and I am not proud of my current weight.

01-01-2009, 02:41 PM
It was hard for me to tell my SO, but I did it and now he knows my weight. :D Of course I was 300+ pounds then...lol. I'm happier and feeling more "light" now that I've been upfront and honest about it. Besides, I don't like to keep things from my SO, so there ya go.

Lori Bell
01-01-2009, 03:13 PM
I didn't openly talk about my weight in numbers but it really didn't matter, we are married and intimate and no magic giant shirt or stretch pant covered the fact that I was morbidly obese...he knew I was fat. After I finally got under 300 I discuss numbers with him, and he did not act surprised...He is proud of me, and tells me often.

01-01-2009, 03:21 PM
Oh yea!!! We got fat together and we are getting fit together.

01-01-2009, 03:22 PM
So every time I do my body test, my BMI and weight flash on a giant screen in my living room (we use a data projector for a TV).
Same here. Our Wii is hooked up to our projector, so everytime I weigh myself (when DH isn't deployed), he sees what I weigh. But that means he also sees the little weight history showing what I've lost. :D

01-01-2009, 03:30 PM
That is great for those of you that have shared your weight with your SO! I wish I was brave enough. My DH is very supportive and tells me all the time how beautiful I am and that I look good to him at any weight so I know if I told him he wouldn't be horrified or anything but I have always been really private about my weight except when I was really thin!

01-01-2009, 03:37 PM
I scream in joy every time i reach a mini goal so im sure he knows what my weight is :D

lol same here :) I think that is how my DH found out!

01-01-2009, 03:44 PM
I just asked him. He doesn't know. And he is a very bad guesser. I shouldn't have asked. :)

01-01-2009, 04:21 PM
Yes, because I have outweighed him for years and just recently got to the other side of his weight, so I have been asking him weight a lot lately.

Zen Pharmacy
01-01-2009, 04:24 PM
We know how much each other weighs because for some weird little quirk in my brain, it super bugs me whenever I weigh more than he does.

Now, my husband is not a small guy. He's 6'3" and man, he used to run cross-country in high school and university and marathons after graduation. But, he was in a car accident a few years ago that damaged his spine. He can walk and is fine now, however he can't run or do long periods of walking. Nothing that jars his back.

But the poor guy never got out of the teenage/early 20s athlete "eat whatever I want" attitude and it definitely has bounced back with a vengence. I won't lie, a similar thing happened to me (very badly broken foot/ankle) and eating like an athlete while being sedentary = very jiggly me.

So, where we are currently is he's about 5 pounds more than me. And I feel like such an anti everything I stand for that it bothers me whenever I weigh more than he does. (Seriously, big femi**** boots stomp around my brain everytime I say it).

He's good about it though. He knows it motivates me when he loses so I have to catch up. He's also not trying to hard (just slight diet modifications like not drinking soda and eating cheetos) so he's not totally stomping me yet.

Ah, girl brain, sometimes I don't understand you.

ps - Sorry if it's rambly and incoherent. I have cold medication brain at the moment. ;>

01-01-2009, 04:25 PM
Probably not, but not because I haven't told him a thousand times, he's just not likely to remember (I just don't see him keeping track).

But, in the interest of science (well, maybe pseudoscience), I just asked him - and he was about six pounds off - I thought that was pretty good actually.

Especially, since he asked me what I think HE weighs and I was 18 lbs off.

We're both trying to lose weight, so it's not uncommon for either of us to shout out our weights to each other. I knew my husband wasn't really paying attention to me, but I was a little embarassed that he was apparently paying more attention to me than I was to him.

01-02-2009, 12:16 AM
My SO is a tall SKINNY, SKINNY lanky man-- he probably weighs 155 lbs. :(

Sometimes I hate him.


No-- I have never told him my actual weight.

01-02-2009, 12:49 AM
my husband has no idea. i feel too ashamed to tell him. he never asks.

01-02-2009, 02:11 AM
He asked me once and I said I wasn't telling him. I asked him what he thought I weighed, and he had absolutely no idea. Let's just keep it that way! I will only tell him once I reach 140 lb or something. I know it's stupid - he loves me now at 170 lb, but it's my own thing I guess....


01-02-2009, 07:27 AM
I don't mention it anymore. He keeps thinking that weight is important and I know it is, but he is more interested in the actual weight number.

This summer I actually lost 2 pant sizes but I didn't loose any pounds, of course I gained muscles and you could actually tell I lost weight just by looking at me I even lost about 4 inches around my waist, but because it didn't show on the scale he didn't believe that I had been doing anything like working out or dieting...It was REALLY frustrating, so now I just don't tell him. I was so upset.

He also doesn't seem to understand that it is A LOT harder for girls to loose weight than boys. Sure he lost 10 pounds in one month when I only lost 3 because I gained 5 pound of water during my period. >_< He said it was impossible that it was water and that I just wasn't working out or eating right. I know he's japanese and only has only been in the US for about 3 years, but still...it's not culture...it's just him. Sometimes I don't know what to do to explain that I AM trying, I just doesn't loose weight at the same rate that he does.

It seems like sometime he tries to make me angry as a form of reverse pyschology so that I will try harder because I'm upset. I just don't work well with anger, it makes me sad and want to give up. I know he's doing it to try and make me work harder but it just makes it worse for me in the end.

Last night we kind of got into a little spat over it too. I told him that this month to just leave me alone and don't even mention weight, working out, or dieting to me. He said it would do it. I think it's is going to be so much easier to just take care of myself with out him "putting me down" so I'll work harder. If I do end up loosing my 10 pounds this month hopefully he'll realize that he was hindering me this whole time. It's hard to better yourself when your loved one is putting you down all the time.

01-02-2009, 08:11 AM
i told my boyfriend my weight when i was at my lowest and feeling great.. sadly i've gained 6 kilos since then which I've been less eager to tell him about! But I think he'd guess anyway.

01-02-2009, 08:15 AM
I told him about a week ago. I feel bad because I weight exactly 100lbs more than he does. x.x

01-02-2009, 12:31 PM
I hope I am not crossing a line (well I am sure I am) but your above post really bothered me for you. My guess is you are fairly young. this should not be your BF issue, you should want this for you and not to please him. I would suggest taking this issue completly off the table and never discussing it with him again. he will love you for who you are not who he thinks you should be and you should too.

I am sure some of it is cultural but putting the control and the ability for him to make you feel bad because you did not lose 10 lbs. He should be making you feel beautiful and loved when you reach a goal or when you don't. He should be your support system and your cheerleader, not make you feel bad.

I hope I did not hurt your feelings, I think many women put their feelings and value into a number on the scale and then to the pass that off to others. Love you for you and others will love you too. If you don't love yourself you can't believe when others to love you.

01-02-2009, 01:06 PM
Yes - we know each other's weights.
Sometimes he is even there when I weigh myself. It was hard when I weighed more than him - but he has never been judgmental in any way about my weight, so while I was embarrassed, I told him.

01-02-2009, 01:17 PM
well everyone always think that i'm 50 lb lighter than my actual weight. I can't wait till i'm really 50 lb lighter to see theirs and my reaction.....oh happy days is coming soon

01-02-2009, 01:17 PM
For the longest time I was too embarassed to tell the true number. I was 140 when we met 8 yrs ago, so I know he knew I was a lot heavier. Just recently I didn't care anymore. He knows exactly how much I weigh. I find it encouraging when I can tell him about a loss. he now helps me through it all

01-02-2009, 01:45 PM
Mine doesn't know mine and he's better now ask!! :D J/K but he doesn't know and he has said he doesn't care. He is much smaller than I am at least 90 pounds. I am sometimes self conscious when in bed but he obviously isn't. ;)

(he's 5'10'' 120lbs). I don't think I'll ever weight less than him, but personally I feel that he is underweight.

Oh for sure! He is underweight.

01-02-2009, 07:34 PM

You didn't cross the line. It's all the stuff I say to myself. I don't think he tries to hurt me on purpose. I think he does it so it will fuel my fire ya know? He does that with me smoking too...gets me mad so I'll wanna stop just to prove him that I can.

He did promise me the other night that he won't talk about it anymore, and just let me do my thing. I think he finally realized that he wasn't helping by making me mad all the time, and now he's alittle more supportive of my goals.

Trust me, I don't care what other people think about my weight, I want to loose it for me only and no one else. It was his attitude towards me loosing it slowly that really made me upset. Thank you for being honest and open with me though! It's nice that I can get support. <3

01-02-2009, 10:04 PM
my fiancee knows my weight cause i yell at him everytime i gain! lol ...

01-02-2009, 10:46 PM
I told him my weight, but only after I'd lost about 20 pounds. He still weighed less than me by then. He's ridiculously tall and skinny, 143 pounds...so when I hit 142, I had a celebration and rubbed it in his face. He pretends to be upset every time I lose another pound and "beat" him. It's our little game. :D

01-03-2009, 12:04 AM
I just told my husband just a short time ago. He asked how much weight I lost. I told him. I had lost just shy of 50 lbs. I asked him what he thought I weighed. He said 135 or 140. I weighed 190. I was like...oh, bless you, you sweet sweet man. He's 6 feet and 155-160 lbs.

When I first met my husband I was in the low 140s and I looked very very thin (like ribs and all.) When I told him that he didn't believe me. He thought I was like 115-120. I will never ever ever be 115-120 unless I build a time machine and go back to 6th grade.

01-03-2009, 12:20 AM
we know each others weights- which, oddly enough, have been exactly the same for a couple of weeks (he started dieting a couple of weeks ago). I'm just glad I'm not heavier than him anymore!

01-03-2009, 04:18 AM
Oh heck yes he knows. He's my best friend too, who else would I tell when I am losing weight? LOL.

01-03-2009, 05:28 AM
Nope mine has no clue. He knows I'm up there but doesn't know I'm over 300 I'm sure!! He's 6'1" and less than 200lbs. He doesn't judge me at all and tells me he loves me no matter what size I am. It does embarrass me though so I don't tell him since I like others don't look my weight. It's funny when he's all like I'm a strong man I can pick you up....and I'm like no honey you'll have a heart attack!! lol That makes me know for sure that he doesn't know I'm 320lbs. almost double his weight...

I will scream it from the rooftops when I get under 200lbs. I don't even need to get to goal to be telling everyone yeah I weigh. I'll be like ya I'm 192lbs.!!!

I suppose it's the stigma attached for most of us.

I can't wait til it's no longer an issue for me!! I can almost taste it...no pun intended. :P

01-03-2009, 06:12 AM
Funny to see this thread. My husband and I were just talking around this issue today and he asked me how much I weighed. I asked him what he thought and he said 185. I just told him no, higher. And he said, so you weigh more than me? My weight is a huge issue for him. I know I will probably get a lot of slack about that but it's the truth. He doesn't like me being 211 lbs, with a double chin and busting out of size 14s. I don't either. The frusting part is that he just does not understand how difficult it is for me to loose weight. He can say he needs to loose 5 pounds and blink his eyes and it's gone. And also I've gained most of this weight in the past year. He fell in love with and married the cute little size 8. We've been together for 22 years I think so he is very concerned for my health as well and the reasons behind why I gained this weight so quickly, which I am sorting out, part of it emotional, part of it medications, part of it being lazy and eating and drinking too much. But he is also very supportive in my quest back down. But no, he doesn't know what the number on the scale is.

01-03-2009, 06:14 AM
Gigi - my husband sounds like your SO. He tries to motivate me but goes about it totally wrong and usually just ends up pi**ing me off, LOL!

01-03-2009, 08:15 AM

You just made me laugh so hard! I think you summed up completely what I was trying to say in your last sentence !!! LOL