100 lb. Club - I got a wake-up call

My oldest daughter, 12, came into the bathroom where I was and got on the scales. She weighs 163 pounds at 5'6". My heart is breaking. And, my husband is at his highest weight ever and my youngest daughter, 9, is starting to gain a lot of weight and I've started gaining again.

I remember back in 2007...I lost 30 pounds, my husband was losing, my oldest was losing and my youngest was a fit slender little thing. I was so proud and happy at the changes I was making for both myself and my family. Now, I'm just sick at heart from all of the time I've wasted. I've never been the cook of the family, but I have no choice but to take charge of this situation and do what I can. I must remove the junk from the house again and quit bringing more in. I must make some changes for the future of my family and myself. I'm feeling very overwhelmed, but I have a resolve that I've not had in a long long time.

:hug: You know what you need to do. You are going to do it. I know I would be heartbroken too, mainly because of my feelings about my mom and my own weight issues, but I am glad that you have the awareness to see what is happening and change it now. ~ my totally unsolicited advice- have a long talk with your DH about this, how it isn't just about you two and your weight issues any more. Maybe you can come up with a plan together.

Kids can surprise you. I never thought my ds12 would like eating healthy, but he actually prefers it now over any kind of junk food. Once your taste buds get over the change and the carb cravings are gone, it's a whole new world, and stuff like McDs or frozen hot pockets just tastes gross, even to a kid. It helps, I think, to involve the kids in selecting good fruits, veggies and lean meats/fish for the menu, so they can have some of their favorites in there, while still eating healthy meals and snacks.

You are taking a "negative" and turning it into a "positive in the form of a great motivator. That right there says so much about where you are mentally and in terms of your willpower and focus; you realize that it just isn't about you anymore.

You're strong, Rhonda. Take it one little step at a time, try not to get overwhelmed, and I know you can handle anything you put your mind to.

One of my big motivators is knowing that I'm showing my kids that it is possible to lose the weight. I felt that I couldn't lose it for many years because my mom never did. I don't want to pass that negative thinking on to my kids. I want them to look at me and know that I did it and they can too. I can't control what they put in their mouth always, especially the older one, but I can set a good example. It's great that you want to help your kids Rhonda, it's one of the best things you can do for them. It's easier when they are young. My oldest is working and has his own money to buy the junk himself.
My youngest has lost down to a healthy weight just by my cooking better and bringing healthier snacks into the house. He exercises with me too. He doesn't always like it when we start, but usually when we are done he's laughing and having a good time. I made a one a day rule for a lot of the snack type stuff that I buy. I get skinny cow ice cream and part skim mozzarella sticks, things that they like. They know they can only have one a day. That helps limit their intake and helps the grocery bill too.
I know how you feel, I felt the same awful feeling with my kids. I still do with the older one. I wish I had taught them better from the time they were small. It's better now than never, though.

Rhonda--Ok, lots of people (myself included) have had their moment that really sparks them. This is yours. I know you can do this, for you and for your family. It won't be easy, but nothing worth it ever is. Remember how much fun you had as a family trying different veggies? Maybe that would help. Do your kids help w/ cooking? Maybe including them in some of the food prep?

We are here for support and I know you will do this.

Sara--great to see you!!!

Rhonda...we can sometimes do for our kids what we can't do for ourselves, parenthood is amazing that way.

Right now you need to eat healthy for those kids. You need to take care of yourself as you take care of them. All the good intentions in the world can't replace the model you provide.

Your wake up call has come early enough to protect your children. Stick with it girl, you can do this!

Rhonda, you can do it. Why not enlist your family to help cook and learn healthy eating techniques at the same time?

Don't tell them it's healthy outright, but they will learn by watching what you do.

I have tried to set a better example for my kids than my mom did for me. While I have always had a very good, very close relationship with my mom, she was (and to some extent still is...) the ultimate example of yo-yo dieter, and she was always going between suggesting crazy 800 calorie a day diets to my sisters and me and then feeding us chocolate.

Just bring the healthy food into the house and work together as a family to change the direction you have been going. While I have always been pretty careful, I am trying to be even more careful, and, besides the weight loss in my husband and myself, I have noted my kids behavior mellowing out without the sugar and simple carbs.

Good luck...you can do this for yourself and your family.

Rhonda, that had to really hurt.....but use it as a springboard to get the whole house back on track! Everyone from the hubby to the kids to the pets! LOL

With everyone working together, you'll all be fit in no time!

You can do this. Kids are a fabulous motivator. Sometimes we're willing to do for them what we don't do for ourselves. Whatever gets you started, right? In the end, you'll benefit just as much :)

You have to take control to get your family healthy. You need to be a good role model for your kids. But with that said. I worry about your daughters dieting so young and worrying about their weight at 12 and 9. yes they need to be and eat healthy but it can also lead to eating disorders. please just be careful

My oldest daughter, 12, came into the bathroom where I was and got on the scales. She weighs 163 pounds at 5'6". My heart is breaking. And, my husband is at his highest weight ever and my youngest daughter, 9, is starting to gain a lot of weight and I've started gaining again.

I remember back in 2007...I lost 30 pounds, my husband was losing, my oldest was losing and my youngest was a fit slender little thing. I was so proud and happy at the changes I was making for both myself and my family. Now, I'm just sick at heart from all of the time I've wasted. I've never been the cook of the family, but I have no choice but to take charge of this situation and do what I can. I must remove the junk from the house again and quit bringing more in. I must make some changes for the future of my family and myself. I'm feeling very overwhelmed, but I have a resolve that I've not had in a long long time.


Rhonda, it is NEVER to late to make a change. You children are still quite young and heck, so are you. Children are very adaptable. And when you get into this, get really determined and focused and excited about all the phenomenal changes you are about to make, you will be surprised at just how adaptable you are as well.

I wish you all the best as you embark on the journey of better health for you and your entire family. What a wonderful holiday gift this would be for all of you. I mean really, what could be better then the gift of good healthy? :hug:

But with that said. I worry about your daughters dieting so young and worrying about their weight at 12 and 9.

No, no! I would never put a child on a diet. My youngest has no clue that she is gaining quite a bit of weight, however, my oldest is at an age when she does realize that she is heavier than her friends and her clothes are getting tighter. She has many of my habits of using food to soothe her emotions and eating when she is not hungry. I would much rather help her to learn the right way of handling these emotions as I believe that being obese is every bit as dangerous as developing an eating disorder. My goal is to get her to the point where she is active every day and her diet is full of nutritious balanced foods. Eating healthy and becoming active will naturally lead to weight loss for her. At her age, this is pretty much 100% a given.

My goal is to get her to the point where she is active every day and her diet is full of nutritious balanced foods. Eating healthy and becoming active will naturally lead to weight loss for her. At her age, this is pretty much 100% a given.

Sounds like some pretty fabulous goals. She's lucky to have a mom like you who recognizes that a change needs to made and one who is willing to do so in such a positive manner.

I've found over the past 8-ish months of working on changing my family's eating habits that my kids are really into it, interested, and willing to adapt...at least as far as kids who are 5, 7, and 12 can be expected to be willing. We're trying new veggies together, finding new healthy things we enjoy eating, cutting out junk, talking about fiber, talking about superfoods, and so on. We're not where I really want to be with it yet, but we are GETTING there.

So I think your motivation is awesome, and your 12-year-old is definitely ready for some straight talk from mom and working together on nutrition and exercise. I've got my 12-year-old son working the 100 pushups program with me, and we're planning to do the C25K together also. It's a lot of fun to be involved like that with him.

Girls are different than boys. I didn't use the word diet though, I stressed being healthy and that means lots of fruits and veggies and good carbs and lean meats. with my boys it was really important to teach them what a healthy portion is. I bet you won't have to worry as much about that with girls. My younger son did lose about 15 pounds, but I always tell him that he doesn't need to lose, he's still growing. The weight just came off from good choices and exercise. My older son brought a bunch of pizzas home a couple of weeks ago for the boys and a friend. My younger son was so frustrated because he didn't feel full even after eating quite a bit of pizza. He decided it was because it wasn't good food. I thought that was nice that he came to that conclusion on his own. Kids are very resilliant, and smart. I think change is easier for them than for us actually.

It's kind of interesting to teach kids about healthy eating and movement--the other night we were talking as a family about how me and their dad have lost weight, but we still need to lose some weight. My daughter (who is 5, and so skinny I can see her ribs) piped up that she needs to lose weight too. Now, I don't know whether she thinks she is fat or not, but I was very emphatic with her that kids her age do NOT need to lose weight, they need to gain weight because they are growing. I really hope she got it.

It's so hard to navigate these things and know whether we're doing it right--even if our kids aren't overweight it's still difficult. All of my kids are normal weight, but I'm constantly feeling twisted up about making sure they're eating healthy and gaining the knowledge they need to make good food choices.

I guess I'm saying, Rhonda, it's a HARD job and we all have room for improvement in teaching our kids. You haven't failed; you've just realized that need for improvement, which is awesome.

And what a wake up call it was huh? It's so hard to see others going down a path that you KNOW leads to devastation. We've always eaten healthy as a family and my girls dance between 3-5 times a week EACH so physical activity is a given in our house. But I can tell you that we'd eat fast food every couple weeks or so, or go out to eat on payday and when we stopped doing that there was a teeny revolt. Now... they don't even ask. They have to try new veggies (or old veggies prepared in new ways) and there are no unhealthy choices at our table or in our house. Your kids CANNOT eat things that are not in your house when you are at home. So get rid of the junk, replace with healthy tasty foods, and when you make the decision to have a treat day or a movie with snacks, buy those snacks. Eat them. And be done with it.

You modeling good eating habits and good fitness strategies for life will rub off on them.

Oh and get your kids into some activities. Is the older girl interested in Jazz or hiphop dance classes? Does the little one want to take ballet? What about swimming lessons for the whole family? Exercise really is the key with littles.

BIG HUGS to you. It's so hard and SO triggering to see ourselves mirrored in our littles.