...even though I have been staying pretty much on my diet. I'm doing weight watchers and I went over by 10 points this week. I'm afraid to go in and weigh because the week before, I went over my points by 7 and I gained a pound. I feel very frustrated and angry with myself. I hate making mistakes and I don't know why I'm not able to stay within my points. I've lost weight before. Right now, I am in danger of starting to have physical issues if I keep gaining.
I just am at a loss. I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself. I feel worse and worse, each week I try to lose weight. I know that can't be good. This is my 9th or 10th week. I don't generally eat when I'm depressed. It's usually the other way around. I don't eat much and I know that has something to do with gaining weight as well. I try to eat 3 meals a day, could that be my problem? Should I have 5 or 6 smaller meals? I feel like I'm going to scream and cry!!!:mad:
Sorry for all the negativity, but this is just how I'm feeling right now. I want to know what you all do to make yourselves happy or feeling better about your weight loss expectations. I happen to be a perfectionist and am in therapy trying to work on guilt issues and letting myself off the hook a little bit. It's very difficult for me to be failing and I take it out on myself, and I know that's not good either.
When I started trying to lose weight on the whole I weighed 194 pounds. Now I'm 209/208. Please help. :(
12-15-2008, 07:02 PM
:hug: Stop, breathe - OK - now listen to me. You CAN do this! Really. Should you eat more often? I don't know.
Look at your food diary - when did you go over your points? What kinds of foods did you eat? Did you overeat some foods?
Although I'm not on WW, I am a calorie counter. For me - I do much better eating "clean" foods more often and in smaller quantities. It keeps me from getting too hungry and overeating - or worse - eating everything in sight when I walk in the door from work.
Since what you are doing isn't working, why not try eating more often and smaller amounts.
Also - pay extra attention to when you are eating - your mood, triggers, etc. Make sure you are logging everything and spend some time looking at trends and patterns. When you did well and when you didn't. Some analysis will probably help you spot some ways to improve.
Go to that weigh-in - it is what it is. Better to know now so that you can start fresh this week and truly celebrate the scale going DOWN at your next weigh-in.
Stay strong - you CAN do this!!!
12-15-2008, 07:09 PM
take advantage of your weight watchers! I know it's not as easy to discuss this stuff in person as it is online, but I bet there are a lot of resources you could take advantage of there. Tell them, and I know they'll help you find the problem!
Until then, don't beat yourself up- it will just make things worse!
12-15-2008, 08:04 PM
When you say you went over by 10 points, do you mean that you ate 10 flex points or that you used all of your flex and then 10 more? When I started WW I would save all my flex points and then splurge on the last day of the week. When I did this I wasn't losing anything and I was really frustrated. I was told to try a week without eating any flex to see what happened. That week I lost 1.5. I know other people though that only lose when they eat all of their flex points. The best advise would probably be to talk with someone at a meeting and have them look at what you're eating. I'm not going to WW now, but that is how I lost my first 30 lbs.
Good luck to you!
12-15-2008, 09:56 PM
How much are you working out? I trained for a triathlon this past summer and lost NOTHING because I was not eating enough! I did LAWL and they gave me an extra starch and 1/2 protein every day when I was working out more than 5 hours/week. Are you working out hard core?
12-15-2008, 10:06 PM
Try to not think about how often you're eating. Focus on when you are hungry. Focus on how much you are eating. Focus on what you are eating. If you stress out about food, then that just adds something else to your plate. Don't stress, just try and realize that this is for a better you, and if being a better you means not being in total control, than so be it. You can't control when you are hungry.
You can't control what the scale says unless you realize there is no controling it, there is maintaning it.
12-15-2008, 10:23 PM
Thank you all for the kind words and advice. I do exercise regularly, except for last week. I have been exercising since January. Even joined a gym and used to go at least 3 times a week. I noticed that I started gaining weight then. I bought Turbo Jam and really enjoy doing those exercises. I didn't think about the weight gain much, you know, thinking it was muscle. Now I just am so frustrated, I'm not sure what to do. It seems like I've tried just about everything, but my weight kept going up and down. Now it just seems to be going up.
I know I should just relax, focus on when I need to eat, focus on the types of food I eat and exercise regularly. I guess I thought I was doing all of that, but I guess not.
I've started over so many times, that's probably what my problem is. I guess I just needed to hear some experiences from others. I just feel like a failure. I started working out and dieting last January and now I'm fatter. :(
12-15-2008, 10:45 PM
When I was younger and much smaller, I joined a gym where they put me on a program of weights and exercises. I started at 129 lbs and in less than a year, I weighed 139, but I was slimmer everywhere in my body and by a lot of inches too. My trainer went to the head trainer and asked him what is going on -- why did I gain 10 lbs, but was so much smaller in inches and in clothes sizes too?
He explained that when some people join a gym and start exercising regularly, they build muscle and gain some weight. He said ten pounds of muscle-weight was OK and not unusual at all. He said you know this by the person's body measurements: since I was much smaller, that showed that it was muscle weight, but if I had been larger in size, that would have shown a need to cut back on my food intake. He also said my food intake was OK; that's why they didn't put me on any plan at the time.
Did you measure yourself before you started to go to the gym? If not, I suggest that you do that now; and like COUNTING says, just start over. Go to your weigh-in; and record your weight AND your measurements all over your body. Now, you will be able to track more clearly what is going on.
Hope this helps you ... :hug:ROSEBUD:hug:
12-15-2008, 10:55 PM
I went over my points by 7 and I gained a pound7 points does not a pound make! :)
7 points, if I remember my WW correctly, is somewhere around 350-400 calories. It takes 3500 calories over and above your maintenance calories to put on a whole pound. So eating 7 points over, or even 10 points over is NOT going to put on pounds of weight.
It's more likely that WHAT you're eating is causing you to retain water and make the scale jump.
I have a few thoughts for you. YOu say that you feel "worse and worse" as your diet goes on. You also say that you keep "restarting" your diet.
I have a philosophy - I don't diet. I don't believe in diets. The problem is diets is that you "go on" them and then you "go off" them. You "restart" them. You "fall off" them. Diets, I believe were a huge part of my inability to lose weight.
Instead of thinking in terms of "dieting", I'd encourage you to think in terms of EATING HEALTHY. For me that means calorie counting, eating whole foods, and avoiding processed food as much as possible.
It is possible to gain weight eating very few calories, if you're not eating the RIGHT food. If you eat junk or you don't get enough basic nutrients, your body will hold on to your weight, even though you might be cutting calories and exercising. Your body is programmed for survival and if you cut your nutrition below what your body needs to function, it *will* go into survival mode and you will stop losing weight.
So I'd encourage you to get away from the idea of a "diet" and start thinking about eating healthy. Eat lots of veggies and fruit. Eat lean proteins. Eat complex carbs and whole grains. Get some healthy fat in each day. And be sure to eat ENOUGH to fuel your body.
Cut back on sodium, on chemicals, on processed foods, and drink lots of water to help flush out excess sodium, and that will help with the water retention and bloating.
You can do this. It just takes the right mindset! :)
12-15-2008, 11:05 PM
Firstly, you've got a lot of expectations on yourself. You think you're failing, and you don't know why, and the truth is you're not failing at all.
10 points is about 500 calories, 7 points is about 350. You need to eat 3500 calories more than you burn in order to gain a pound. You did not gain one pound from eating those 7 points. It's possible (but not likely) that your normal food intake, the calorie level you need to maintain your weight is less than WW allows. WW does have plans for this, and when the time comes they will adjust for this, if it's needed.
Yoyo dieting (starting over so many times) does lower your metabolism significantly, which means you're going to have it harder than someone who has never dieted. That doesn't make you a failure, it means that you will have to work harder for your successes, and be more patient with yourself if the rate of progress isn't what you'd like it to be.
Just sticking with it for 9 or 10 weeks puts you ahead of most dieters, because the reason most diets fail, is that most dieters give up. Every week you stick with it (even without losing ANY weight) the more likely you will eventually hit on the path that works for you.
Weight management and healthy habits are skills, like playing the piano. Some people pick up a musical instrument very quickly, and others take years just to get good enough to play a recognizeable melody, but neither are possible without practice. And just as with playing a musical instrument - you shouldn't expect yourself to be perfect from the start. Only with weight loss do we expect perfection from day one, and get furious at ourselves for imagined shortcomings. We imagine that everyone else is having great success, and we are horrible failures.
If anything is to be taken from the dismal weight loss success statistics is that weight loss is hard. I think the success rate is lower than it has to be because of our expectations. If we were taught to expect that the "average" piano player was able to play perfect Concertos within 4 weeks, how many people do you think would give up playing the piano when they were still struggling with Mary Had a Little Lamb after a month?
Don't worry about the weight loss (I know it's easier to say than do. I really do - I'm 36 years into this and there's no sign of me playing Carnegie Hall anytime soon). It will come. You will find the formula for your success, and you will learn to build on success, but you probably never will be "perfect." You will always make mistakes, but your mistakes will get smaller and further apart.
On a practical level, do really consider as CountingDown suggested, keeping a food, emotion, and workout journal. It really will help you see patterns that will help you learn more about what does work for you. I was able to learn that I lost more weight on the same amount of calories (or points) when I was watching carbohydrates. I was also less hungry and more able to stay on plan when I avoided concentrated carbohydrates (sugar, white flour, white potatoes, rice.... any high carbohydrate food with relatively little fiber).
I'm not saying that is true for you, but if you journal you will find out. I'm not currently on WW, but when I was in WW I remember many meetings where we talked about this. I remember one woman talking about taking several months to realize that she couldn't use any of her points on candy, because every time she did, she went off plan and binged, and in such a big way that whe would often gain during a candy week. She'd even tried buying just one candybar, but she'd still binge on other foods.
Some of the difficulties we have may even be genetic or physiological. It doesn't mean it's not our fault - Well, I think actually it does. It's not our fault, but it is our responsibility. It's our responsibility to "outwit" our bodies and brain chemistry (but it's hard to do, so you've got to be patient with yourself, and keep trying).
I once read that the body/brain always reacts to food deprivation, but it doesn't necessarily react to calorie deprivation. So, if you're eating often, but low calorie, high fiber/high water foods, you may be able to trick your natural tendency to fight food restriction (which to the primitive part of our brain is interpreting as starvation).
I found the book Volumetrics very interesting, and very compatible with WW. I never followed the books plan or way of counting, but the principles in it were very helpful to every food plan I've followed since reading it. Basically that big food fills you up more than small food. The food plan was designed around a single research study that found that people who were given the exact same meal in food/and calories (basically the same recipe except either in a casserole or in a soup format) that those who had the soup were full longer than those who had the casserole.
Water content and fiber content can make a food fill you up longer. So a piece of fruit is better than the juice from that piece of fruit.
You may know all of this already, but all of the small habits add up to success in a weight loss plan. Sometimes you think you're not making progress only because the small habits haven't accumulated enough - but they will.
Hang in there! It will all come together if you keep at it.
12-16-2008, 10:02 PM
You know that I know you all are right and have given me some things to think about and reminded me of things that I had forgotten during my little anger tantrum.
Just to clear it up, I was talking about points over the wpa's. I'm starting this week out better, but I still end up using all those 35 points. I feel like I'd be starving if I didn't use them. However, I know that using them is probably not very helpful.
I'm very thankful for this forum. At least there are people to talk to who sort of know what I'm going through. Thank you so much for your thoughtful posts and taking the time to post here. I will try to get my mind together and remember that I'm not in a weight-loss race. I have to be careful and think more about what I shove into my face.
Thank you all again!!!
12-16-2008, 10:05 PM
How long have you been doing the WW? When I first started, I was sure I was going to starve! I would eat a reasonable meal, and feel like I could eat a whole other one before I got up from the table. It took a little while for my body to adjust to my new serving sizes, apparently I had just been eating way too much before. :o
12-17-2008, 08:23 AM
Kestrel, that's exactly how I feel if you want to know the truth. I've been doing weight watchers for about 9 or 10 weeks. I was doing core, which was really good for me because I could eat the portions I wanted, and just stick to the core list. However, since they've changed I decided to try the "momentum" instead of their "filling foods". Perhaps I'll have to go back to that. I did lose weight on core, but not on flex. Go figure. I'm at a loss. But yes, I do feel like I'm starving myself most days.