Weight Loss Support - 50 skinny teenagers and only one skinny grown up!

12-14-2008, 03:08 PM
Ok I looked around the room at my boy's sports dinner last night and there were skinny teens everywhere in cute little dresses - don't we remember those days when one could pig out and not gain an ounce? Then as for the adults - there was only ONE that had a skinny figure. And did she flaunt it! I used to be like that, made it to about 30 and I remember being like her, wearing some skinny suit and flaunting (which might not be nice). By the end of the night I was so sick of her self absorbtion and started thinking the "prettier" women were more "normal" or even heavier then the skinny mini. In my head I think I"m supposed to be still skinny, I beat up on myself, but the truth is the "normal" American woman according to articles is size 12 to 14 to 16 and I think 5'4-5'6. I want to be skinny again, wear those skinny suits but healthy is better... How many really skinny adults are there when you look around? How unrealistic are we being to want to be size 7 again in our 30s, 40s etc? What is it worth?

12-14-2008, 03:21 PM
What it's worth to be a normal, healthy weight is something that only we can answer for ourselves. :)

I'm a lot older than you (54) and I can assure you that it's quite unusual for a woman my age not to be overweight or obese. Menopause will get ya if even if you've managed to escape up to that point! :eek:

Of course, it's also true -- as you point out with average clothes sizes -- that overweight or obese IS the norm these days, with 2/3 of adults being overweight/obese. Being a healthy, normal weight definitely makes one a minority in our society today, and it's especially true the older we get.

My personal choice is to do whatever it takes to remain at a healthy, fit weight. Sure it would be a lot easier to maintain my weight loss at 20 - 30 pounds more, but after weighing the pros and cons, my choice is to maintain at my current level. "Skinny" has never been my aspiration; in fact, the whole idea of "skinny" kind of grosses me out. I love my muscles and know for a fact that I'm in the best health of my life.

Decades of obesity have already damaged my body in ways that can't be undone. So the greatest gift I can give myself is optimal health for the rest of my life. That's why I'll be planning my day in Fitday tomorrow morning and then heading for the gym at 5:30 am. Yes, I have to work HARD at maintaining a healthy weight, 24/7/365. But that's my personal choice and it's worth my LIFE to me!

And ... what on earth would I do with this closet crammed full of size 4's if I gained back weight? :yikes:

12-14-2008, 03:29 PM
Oh, I'm never going to be a size 7. Never have been! Never was! And I don't really care about clothing sizes.

I went to a professional educational conference earlier this year. I looked around, and everyone there except me and one other woman was obese. I'm not talking overweight--they were obese. The other woman who wasn't obese was slimmer than I am, but not by a whole lot. The ages were all over the map--most people there were younger than I am--some were in their 20s, most middle aged. It was the first time in a long time that I've been one of the slimmest people.

I don't care, really. I don't want to fit in with them.

What I want is to be at my ideal weight for my height and age and activity level. I expect this is around 136.

I do wonder how much it's worth to me to get there. I lose very slowly when I try, and I bounce back fast, these days.


12-14-2008, 03:35 PM
I think they are talking about the average American woman. What in the world does "normal" mean? I don't necessarily shoot for average. While I would never shoot for a size 7 (I'm 39, and Junior's sizing just doesn't work ;)), I do kinda think I will end up a size 6. That's partly because sizing has changed. My goal weight (130) used to be a size 8 for me, and I think now 130 will be a size 6. I'm already in a 10.

I don't think it's the size itself that makes a goal unrealistic. I think it's the reasons you choose it. I think the ideal presented by Hollywood is unrealistic, not to mention BORING. You can take two size 6 women, and they can be living very different lifestyles to maintain that weight, and have very different self-esteem and values.

I think the question of what it's worth is an excellent one. I lost about 8 pounds a months a first, then about 6, then about 5. Now, 3-4 pounds a months. Sometimes I get a little frustrated, but I'm also not interested in feeling restricted in order to weigh less. I'm living pretty close to a maintenance lifestyle now. I quit calorie counting in September and I LIKE it, and that was 15 pounds ago. I expect I'm still going to get to my goal, because it was a happy weight in the past. But at this point, I'm likely to accept whatever place I settle at. From here on out is gravy.

Anything I would do to maintain lower (more exercise, different or less eating) would have to be something I otherwise felt good about as a lifestyle. To do it just to maintain 10 pounds less just isn't acceptable to me. YMMV.

I agree size isn't the only thing making people look good. It's also confidence, health, happiness, presentation. It's one thing to be size 16 and have all those things vs. size 16, feeling bad about it, dressing sloppy, and avoiding life.

I don't think being a size 6 or 8 means unhealthy and 12-14-16 means healthy. Or vice versa. And I don't think America is getting healthier as it gets fatter ;). So I'm not sure about using how many skinny adults I see as a reason for choosing my own weight. Of course, just using the word skinny has all sorts of baggage. I'm not talking emaciated.

Thighs Be Gone
12-14-2008, 04:55 PM
Horsey, how this was she? I know JUST what you mean about the self-absorbtion! I have seen it many a time.

I am wearing a solid 8 now in 99% of brands. I think I will settle in a six when it's all said and done very comfortably. I try to keep in mind that the popular sizes you mention as normal here, aren't "normal" in other countries that have adopted healthier lifestyles. But every woman will be different for certain.

12-14-2008, 05:38 PM
True, everyone in the room wasn't just what I'd consider "normal" myself, it was an obese room and if you watched what they ate you'd know why! If one of a couple was fat, typically it was both husband and wife. I was happy at about 165 even, 160 would be fine with me. I know this belly fat I gained back is so NOT healthy. Sure it would be nice to be size 7 again but I'm just going to try to "settle" at my happy weight and then maintain "this round" of my yo yo. That woman can have her skinny body, actually I think too skinny ages women of "her age"... she looked a bit rediculous and so self absorbed, even tried to hang out with the teens for awhile, sharing her heels, being silly. WHEN I was skinnier then her I wasn't rediculous, trying to prove something. Oh my. Oh well, lesson learned, it's about self confidence and not self absorbtion and it's about health and happiness. I can't feel happy overweight myself, it seemed that a lot of people seemed ok with it, and it's a part of our society, but me I can't like myself like this and thus the work to stay "thinner" and yes I do think that for health's sake (and happiness too) is worth it.

12-14-2008, 05:42 PM
It doesn't matter how thin or heavy one is - there are always going to be b*tches in the world.

12-14-2008, 05:45 PM
So true, the woman was a b*tch. Even her husband seemed to be annoyed with her, and I noticed her sister stayed away too, very irritating woman.

12-14-2008, 05:50 PM
What a great lesson learned HORSEY!

Now next year at the banquet you won't even know if that woman was there...you will be so focused on your son and his evening!

Keep supporting the boy!

12-14-2008, 07:25 PM
I don't think you can tell by looking who's happy with their weight or not. Sure, it's obvious that some people are unhappy, but there can be lots going on in their lives and minds/hearts besides their obesity. And some obese women may be very well put together and very social, and still be miserable about their weight. They just hide it.

12-14-2008, 08:04 PM
I know women of all shapes, but most of the women I know are a bit overweight. All the thin ones pay close attention to their weight and food. Zeffryn is right, there will always be *****es and they come in all sizes. I think that different sizes can be healthy, it all depends on their attitude and lifestyle. I myself have lived a healthy lifestyle while heavy, and have always been fit and able to do strenuous exercise. But when I'm not at fighting weight I feel like my body doesn't match who I am, and I need to get that synchronicity back. For me, that's probably a size 4 or 6, and I know from past experience that I will need to continue to log my calories on fitday in order to keep focused and not slip back into overconsuming.