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Old 12-09-2008, 07:47 AM   #1  
Never, never, never quit!
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Default What is happening!? Why am I doing this!?

Starting last Friday night I have been off plan. Way off.

I'd been trying to do the 30 day shred and my knee started hurting so I decided to back off a bit and BAM! I had a little snack, then a little more, then decided I was too busy for the treadmill, then Sunday I kept up the excuses... Monday I did free weights, but my eating was HORRID.

I mean I'm thinking in my head - "you shouldn't touch those cookies, you have goals, you are going to undo all the work of the last month." Still I eat the cookies (or whatever - the last few days it's gone beyond cookies!)

On Friday I also saw a picture of myself at 17 that I had never seen. I was so slim & I remembered how hard those times were for me. Not because of my weight, but because of my behavior at that time. I wonder if that was some sort of trigger?

I don't know. I just need some help, a push, a hug.

I don't feel strong right now.
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:37 AM   #2  
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Hang in there! I know how hard it is to eat healthy and exercise everyday. It truely is a lifestyle change. I got really off plan last week and gained a pound. Then I got back on plan and lost 2! There are so many great people on this site that help me out. Reading the success stories and seeing people's progress pics are a real motivation to me. When you fall off the horse, just get back up and try again. Keep trying until you succeed!! You can do it! You are strong enough!

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Old 12-09-2008, 08:47 AM   #3  
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Girl, you have hugs from me. I know, I struggle too. We have gingerbread in the house right now and I adore it. Everytime I go for a piece I think, "why am I doing this?" I can't tell you anything that you don't already know. I'm sorry you are having knee issues. I have knee issues too. Someone here posted the other day that in the end, excuses won't help--so don't give up your workout. You just have to work with what you've got. You can do this and it is so very worth it. I would say remove all temptations in your house and stock up on the good things your body needs. If you binge, at least it won't be on garbage. Good luck. YOU CAN DO THIS!
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Old 12-09-2008, 08:48 AM   #4  
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Hey, and I also very much agree with Angel. This board is very helpful and so are lots of people here. Use it for your support and dive into all the help and answers that are here. Surround yourself with success.
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Old 12-09-2008, 09:45 AM   #5  
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Is it possible that you're cutting something out of your diet that you shouldn't be? I found in the past that if I was eating too little, or eating too low fat that I couldn't control my cravings. I've lost a lot, and have a long way to go still, but finding a way of eating that I didn't feel deprived with was really important. In the past I would cut calories drastically, exercise like mad, and couldn't figure out why I couldn't maintain that. I would inevitably feel like a failure when I couldn't keep it up.

The shorter answer is that you can't control the past, only the future. So, today is a new day, and it can be a good day to get back on plan. Good luck.
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Old 12-09-2008, 10:29 AM   #6  
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It's okay to have a bad or two, just remember what you are doing this for. I started 3 weeks ago and I had a bad week and put all the weight I lost, so I'm basically starting over. I'm not beating myself up over it just trying to look forward adn konw that I can do this and I will have setbacks but I can overcome. Good luck and just know you can do it.
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Old 12-09-2008, 10:50 AM   #7  
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Sorry you are having a tough time right now!
It's hard when you hurt yourself. There are still things you can do though, even if your knee is sore.
When I start to give up a little and have bad eating days, that's when I have to dig down deep in myself and remind myself of all the reasons I'm trying to change my lifestyle, lose weight and get healthy.
In the end, you are the only one who can make this happen.
Write a list for yourself about why you started on this journey and why you want to continue. Use the things on your list as a Mantra you say in your head when you go to grab for the cookies.
I know if sounds a little cheesey, but it works. If you change your internal monologue and self talk, you start to treat yourself better and believe that you are worth making the healthier choices.
Hang in there! You can do it!!
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Old 12-09-2008, 11:19 AM   #8  
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You can do this!!

RealCdn has a good thought. I find that if I have too many carbs and not enough protein, I have cravings. Also be sure to drink your water, it really helps.
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Old 12-09-2008, 11:55 AM   #9  
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I don't think the whys are always complicated or deeply psychological. In fact, I think more often than not the basic why is that change is tough stuff, and there are always so many triggers to return to the old habits. Subtle and not so subtle reminders of our "old lives" or primitive parts of our brain telling us we still need to eat like our cavemen ancestors who were always on the brink of starvation.

Hungry and lazy has survival value. Only expend as much energy as you need to in order to get food and escape predators (in the natural world, that's still a lot). And eat as much as you can when you get a chance, and the sweet stuff is good because it has nutrients that are hard to come by - if you find some of that you really need to eat as much as you can because it is only available for a short time (in the natural world, you only get fruit for a very short time each year and there's a lot of competition for it, because many of the other omnivores and herbivores want it too.

I know I'm making it sound hopeless, and I don't think it is. We just have to learn to trick out primitive brain, with our modern brain (and the person who manages to do it without tons of mistakes - well I don't think that person exists quite frankly).

I'd been doing really great myself until about a week ago, and I started eating some of the stuff I know is poison to my body (processed carbs, cookies and even candy). I feel horrible. My fibro is flaring badly (it always does when I eat crap), which sort of feels like I caught the flu, after being hit by a truck (sometimes with sunburn added). I also get whiny and complainy (I know you never would have guessed, LOL).

So yesterday, I ate great all day, and then popcorn led to crackers last night. Not horrible, as I stayed within my exchange/calorie range, but still the crackers weren't whole grain (so were basically sugar, when it boils right down to it) and I've been trying to eliminate wheat and gluten as an experiment.

Sorry, starting to be whiny and complainy again - anyway trying to get myself out of this "treading water" moving nowhwere spot, I started thinking about the whys, and I've come up with the thought that the primitive brain is tricking me with this question. If I can get sidetracked into worrying about why, maybe I won't focus on the do. Ok, maybe that's a little paranoid, as I don't think part of my brain is out to "get" the other part of my brain and the rest of my body, but the whys can be distracting.

I wonder if part of it is just this time of year. Winter is generally not the time that most critters in the natural world are trying to shed their extra weight. They're getting hungrier and lazier to prepare for the slim times ahead - but instead of slim times, we face food everywhere, and food traditions that remind us to eat the stuff we've decided we shouldn't.

I think if the reminders weren't subtle, we'd have a better chance. Aunt Sally trying to nag you into eating her homemade fudge is a frontal assault, and gives us something to fight against, but all of the subtle cues that in the past led to eating are whispers we barely hear. I realized last night that part of my hunger may have been because I was wearing my "eating suit." Warm comfy fleece jammies and thick socks (because the floors are cold and the apartment is drafty) - and suddenly I want hot chocolate and cookies, and I'm not sure why (all the commercials for Christmas movies - and food, probably have something to do with it too).

For all the rambling I've done, all I can come up with as a solution is keep trying. The mistakes are normal and everyone goes through them, and the only way to stop is to stop. Success builds success and failure builds failure. So I have to stop the trends going in the wrong direction as quickly as I can and try to keep the positive trends going as long as I can, and remember that no mistake means I've "blown it." Getting back on the horse that threw you is the only way to keep going (and luckily it's a metaphorical horse, because if it were real I'd be bloody and bruised by now).

Last edited by kaplods; 12-09-2008 at 11:56 AM.
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Old 12-09-2008, 12:32 PM   #10  
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Today is a new day and you can make healthy choices today. Cravings are hard!!

I look at all the chicks and roosters here at 3FC that have done it and that makes me think you (and I) can do it too! And I really believe the most important part of healthy eating is getting back up and moving forward after we've taken steps backwards.

Take a few steps forward today. You can do it!
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Old 12-09-2008, 12:35 PM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
I also get whiny and complainy (I know you never would have guessed, LOL).
Friendly reality check - I would NOT have guessed

Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
So yesterday, I ate great all day, and then popcorn led to crackers last night. Not horrible, as I stayed within my exchange/calorie range, but still the crackers weren't whole grain (so were basically sugar, when it boils right down to it) and I've been trying to eliminate wheat and gluten as an experiment.
I do hope you'll let us know your experience with eliminating wheat & gluten. I'm interested in hearing it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
If I can get sidetracked into worrying about why, maybe I won't focus on the do. Ok, maybe that's a little paranoid, as I don't think part of my brain is out to "get" the other part of my brain and the rest of my body, but the whys can be distracting.
That is the story of my life. Along with "why's" sibling, "planning."

Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
I realized last night that part of my hunger may have been because I was wearing my "eating suit." Warm comfy fleece jammies and thick socks (because the floors are cold and the apartment is drafty) - and suddenly I want hot chocolate and cookies,
! Now I'm gonna pay attention and beware this one!
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Old 12-09-2008, 02:18 PM   #12  
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I know that you can get back on that horse because I also KNOW you DON'T want to undo all of the hard work it took to get that 10 lbs off in the first place!

Not eating enough protein or healthy fats trigger snack attacks for me... maybe you are missing enough good healthy fats and proteins?

You can do it. I can do it. We all can do it. We ARE doing it and we ARE doing it together!
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Old 12-10-2008, 11:16 AM   #13  
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I can't thank you all enough! I'm feeling much more in control today and reading all your responses has really been the boost I needed to get me out of the shadows.

AAngel - You're exactly right - at times like these I need to take a breath and take a look at all these folks holding up their struggles and successes in front of us to light our way.

TBG - Excuses don't help - thank you for reminding me of that! My knee was a pain (literally and figuratively) BUT sitting around dwelling on it isn't going to help. Thank you for the support!

Anne - That is a very good point. My eating "Plan" is mostly trying to eat multiple small meals and include protein, vegetables and fruits, and a little fat in each one. So I thought this would not be a problem... I had noticed that my skin and scalp have been very (VERY) dry. I assumed this was because of running the furnace so much during these frigid days - but perhaps I am cutting out too much fat? I'll increase a bit and see how that works. Thank you!

Donna - Thank you for your support. Lets both keep moving ahead together!

Tammy - I love your idea of the list of reasons. I have been working on developing a positive inner monologue & I think I need to give that little voice her own bullhorn! She needs to get loud!

Time - Thank you! I'm going to see about tweaking my eating & focus on getting all my water. I think these may be key factors in my slide.

Kaplods - You bring up so many good points. For years and years I have suffered with what I'm pretty sure is Seasonal Affective Disorder. Living is zone 5 I go through a long, long melancholy as the sun shows up less and less from November until May. I feel like I should be hibernating. I loose my energy, crave warm, fatty, starchy foods, and simply feel like a different person. I think it is that primal me surfacing. I need the modern me to step up and say "I don't need to eat and sleep the winter away - I have a heater, a house and warm clothes."

Also, I tend toward that "all or nothing" mentality. I have to keep in mind that mistakes are a part of change & I'm not alone in making them.

Rodeogirl- Thank you for your kind words! I will take those small steps and I will keep my face turned toward the sun.

Julie - Yep - I have to watch out for those habitual behaviors too.

CFMamma - Thank you so much for the kind, supportive words. I'm definitely going to keep tabs on my fats and proteins to see if this is a factor.

I'm so grateful for all of you!
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