11-26-2008, 09:56 PM
Well today was the day from ****. I felt like an alcoholic who got locked in a liquor closet for the day. I am the type of person to get so excited about the holiday weeks before and then once the holiday comes, I become very depressed. This year my kids are spending the day with their father (my ex), and I have plans to go with my boyfriend and his kids to his mother/sister's house...well I don't want to go at all. I want to be with my kids and I kind of feel like if I can't be with them, I don't want to be with someone else's. I know how terrible and selfish that sounds, but it's how I feel. Anyway, I woke up feeling this way and it's been a non-stop beinge ever since...cake, overeating lunch, and then the biggest was dinner...I inhaled a big mac, large fries, large coke, 4 chicken nuggets, and then finished up my sons fries as well. I felt even worse then I did before not to mention that I tortured myself by wearing my favorite pants that were digging into my expanding stomach. I feel completely disgusting and worthless now. None of my clothes fit anymore, and I just don't see an end to this anymore.
I'm sorry to be such a negative person right now, and I truly am grateful for so much in my life, I just don't feel up to talking about it now, but on a positive note I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I want you all to know that right now I can say with 100% confidence that I am grateful for each of you taking the time to read this!
so sorry to hear that you are in a slump right now:hug: It's hard when plans don't go the way you want them too and its sooooo easy to over eat then.
Just wanted to say that we're here for you, hang in there!
And drink plenty of water
11-27-2008, 12:28 AM
Holidays are famous for depression. Everyone saying that it's the season to be joyous and happy. We see images of perfect families eating together, enjoying their lives. But most of us don't have that kind of life. Most of our lives aren't perfect. We're all usually dealing with something. This is the time we feel sorry for ourselves and how our lives don't measure up. We are not who we want to be or have what we think we're supposed to have. We feel less, ugly, worthless and unloved. And what if we don't have families or someone who understands, or people who are sympathetic and supportive, we turn to food for comfort. After all food is safe and nourishing and we need it to live, it props us up. However, then we gain weight and then we have more problems, how we look and feel. We realize that all that comfort food only soothed us for the few seconds it was in our mouth. Food didn't satisfy us or solve our problems or make us feel loved or complete or lives. Many of us have far too many demands on our lives, far too much stress, many things we are dealing and coping with. Many of us have too little support or understanding. We want to feel better, we want to feel more in control of our lives. What can we do? Although we can belong to groups and talk to others or go to counseling or take medications, ultimately only we can change how we feel inside and how we react to ourselves and others. We have to change inside before we can change what happens outside. As long as we don't do anything inside, we'll always react the same on the outside. So, we know that eating doesn't solve our problems, it actually adds to our problems. That sounds so simple, but it is true. We have to start understanding what is happening on the inside. Really create some space and time for ourselves, stop for a little time, some of the demands and the stress on ourselves. We also need to establish boundaries around people who are critical or negative to us. That doesn't help, outside negativity can't change us inside. You must realize that you are the most important person and that you can't be how you want to be on the outside until you become strong and positive on the inside. Action is the main key. Working with you body and your mind. Talking may be somewhat helpful, but if you never really act or create a plan, then again nothing ever changes. Action through your body is the key to change. Make a plan, even start small. Figure out what you can do to help yourself feel better about your self. I like to write in a journal, so I can chart my progress. It helps to keep me on track and see my progress. You can start with saying, I'm going to keep a diet chart of what I eat everyday. I'm going to plan on losing only 5 pounds at first. I'm going to schedule some exercise or walking time several times a week. Write it all down. A journal is also a great plan to write out your feelings, especially if you have a bad day. Try to also plan some positive treats that don't involve food, a new hair-cut, new make-up. Sign up for a class, get a pet, get into a hobby, you may meet new people, someone you like. Think about doing some volunteer work for an organization you like, it can be something that doesn't require a lot of time. If you are dealing with depression, eat whole foods, fruits, watch the junky foods and sugar, also caffeine and alcohol. These foods tend to make depression worse. I also try to limit the carbs somewhat, although I do eat rice and beans. Carbs hold more water in the body which will make you weigh more. Also, if you eat alot of simple carbs and sugar, your body will run on that for energy and will not burn the fat. Again if you use too much caffeine or alcohol your metabolism will get used to running on that and again not burn the fat. So, learn about food and nutrition. Try to cook simple meals with whole foods. Realize that food is only for nutrition and energy and not about indulging our palate. Then once in a while when you dine out or I allow myself to eat only homemade baked desserts, it's a special treat. The rest of the time, I eat very simply and nutritiously. I also take B Vitamins and Vitamin C and also St Johns Wort for depression. Eating nutritionally also helps. So, reclaim your inner power, get educated, get strong, take time for you, you are worth it. No one else can do it but you. You will feel your power and people will respect you for sticking to it.
11-30-2008, 09:19 AM
It takes time to take care of You