General chatter - Selfish because I'm embaressed.
11-13-2008, 05:21 PM
I just got the "Biggest loser cadio max" dvd. Every day my mom takes a long 2 or 3 hour nap at usually the same time. I planned to exercise then. Today I asked her what time she was going to take her nap, and she said she wasn't really tired enough to go for one. She asked me why and I told her because I wanted to exercise. Then she said she thought we could do it together... and I told her I wanted to do it alone. I explained to her that it's kind of how when she cleans she likes to be alone because she doesn't want to be watched. I feel really guilty right now, and I'm wondering if this is a very irrational and selfish move on my part.
Any thoughts on this?
11-13-2008, 05:25 PM
I don't think it was selfish at all. And you gave her a really good comparison so her feelings wouldn't get hurt with the cleaning thing!
11-13-2008, 05:29 PM
was she mad that you said you wanted to do it alone?
I have to workout alone too. I don't like people watching me doing videos at all. My kids are an exemption, but i don't even like my husband in the room. I lose focus, and can't concentrate, especially when i'm doing a new video. You are allowed to be selfish sometimes anyways, as long as you didn't hurt her feelings.
11-13-2008, 05:31 PM
No, she wasn't mad. And her mood or attitude towards me didn't change. But my mom is very passive aggressive I think you call it, when they don't show their feelings most of the time...
11-13-2008, 05:31 PM
I think many of us can relate. I know I look like a fool when I exercise, but I still do it :)
I finally am ok with my husband watching me exercise, but if anyone was around I would for sure not do it.
I don't think you need to feel guilty for wanting to have some privacy to exercise. Good for you for doing it! But you probably need to be careful about how you ask for privacy. It's important to be honest, but try not to hurt people's feelings.
So you're enjoying the Cardio Max? I recently got Jillian's 30 Day Shred, and have been trying to do it everyday. It is so tough, but I like it. I will probably get the Cardio Max in another month or two.
Best of luck!
11-13-2008, 05:35 PM
I don't know if I like it yet, I just got it today and it's going to be my first time trying it. I actually sat and watched it on my computer though, the whole way through. I think I'll like it though, it's not annoying or anything, and bob is pretty cute. ahaha. It's so nice to see it made with big people rather than skinny model type people. It looks hard! I know I'm going to sweat some bullets for sure.
11-13-2008, 05:36 PM
I don't like exercising in front of my WIFE, even, and we've been together 8 years. She finds sweat gross. When I sweat in front of her, I think she's judging me. She swears she isn't, but I get paranoid.
It's ok to have boundaries. If your mom didn't act offended, take that at face value.
11-13-2008, 05:46 PM
Thanks:D Man I don't know what I would do without you people here:)
11-13-2008, 05:53 PM
I wouldn't worry about it either. I generally only like doing videos by myself. And if it's a workout that I haven't done before or am relatively new at, I will shoo out whoever walks in because ...
1. I need to focus on how to do the exercise
2. I feel foolish stumbling and tripping my way into figuring out the move
If she's interested in the video, you can always give it to her to check out after you're done.
11-13-2008, 05:59 PM
Yeh I'm leaving it in the DVD player anyways. She has free reigns on it.
11-14-2008, 12:21 AM
I have the Cardio Max DVD. I love it! It is so rewarding and hard, you just feel great when your done with it... and getting "instructed" by Bob doesn't hurt either.
I know how you feel about not wanting people to watch you exercise. I have that same issue. Its the only reason I don't go to the gym.
11-14-2008, 12:24 AM
It is VERY hard. ahaha I anticipate the day I can follow along the whole way through without having to periodically alter the moves because my body couldn't handle it. For my first time though I think I did extremely well, I was moving for the whole 30 minutes and that's huge for me:)
11-14-2008, 09:59 AM
That's aces, Ace! LOL Keeping moving is what it's all about....you're still burning calories. And eventually, the moves will become second nature!
11-14-2008, 11:15 AM
I totally get where you're coming from, and I have decided I don't even like workout buddies. I get the whole idea behind them, that if you are scheduled to work out with someone you're more likely to do it, but exercise is hard enough for me and I don't need the complications of scheduling it all the time, just being able to do it whenever. And I'm very self-conscious so adults don't get to see me work out. (My toddlers can and do, they like to join in!).
11-14-2008, 11:32 AM
I understand it, too. But maybe you should've given it a shot. You might've liked having a workout buddy. Never know. Right?
My guy watches me everyday. He's usually on the couch playing on his computer. As long as he doesn't say anything, make fun of me, or critize me it's cool.
11-14-2008, 12:12 PM
I don't like exercising in front of people either....especially my husband lol We've been together for over 15 years ;)
I can get on the treadmill when he is home with no problem or do laps in the pool but doing pilates or my free weights, heck no
11-14-2008, 07:56 PM
I've been there too. I had a belly dancing dvd that I used only after my husband went to bed. No way was I going to do that with him watching.
11-14-2008, 09:03 PM
How about a compromise? Let your Mom know that - while you like the idea of a workout partner (if you do), that you want to do the video a few times first by yourself. Let her know it is in the player so she can do the same. Then, when you are ready - invite her to join you.
I was really self-conscious about doing my video routines in front af anyone, but - slowly - I got used to DH being around. Now, he joins me on some - and we laugh together and it is more fun with him there.
All this pre-supposes that you like doing things with your Mom.
And - I think you handled the situation well - she shouldn't be upset.
You have a right to do things alone without feeling guilty. From your description, I wondered if maybe your mom uses guilt on you a lot, so you automatically felt guilt even though she wasn't dishing it out right then.
11-16-2008, 07:50 PM
If I'm doing an exercise video, I pretty much take up the entire room doing the exercises. There simply would not be room to add another person exercising beside me.
My husband has never seen me doing any of the cardio /aerobic exercises that need to be done to get where I want to be weight-wise.
Occasionally he'll walk with me, and that is really nice. Especially since he has a higher endurance than I do and pushes me to walk further.
Also, if someone stops in unexpected while I am exercising, I am mortified!
Maybe this is because I do not feel attractive doing the exercises. I know they are necessary, and I feel awesome afterward, but I feel like I have 2 left feet doing most, and I really hate sweating.
I'll bet your mother will understand. It's sweet of her to offer to be your exercise buddy, though!