General chatter - Divorce

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10-29-2008, 11:54 AM
Are you a child of divorce? Have you ever divorced being a child of divorce? Have you ever had a divorced (for all comers).

10-29-2008, 11:55 AM
My parents did not divorce (although they should have). When my mom died, they'd been married 33 years.

I have been married 10 years and am separated from my husband. We will most likely divorce, but haven't taken that last step yet.


10-29-2008, 12:02 PM
I am a child of divorce. I haven't divorced - and don't plan on it. My in-laws are going through a divorce right now and even though the kids are all grown, it is really difficult for them. They had been married 38 years.

10-29-2008, 12:04 PM
My parents did not divorce, although they should have. They have been married 26 years now.
8 years ago he cheated on my Mom with some woman he met in a bar. He felt so guilty he confessed to my Mom. She asked him to leave. He left for about 5 months than came back.
I still haven't forgave him, and probably never will. He used to be my hero, now I can't stand the sight of him.

10-29-2008, 12:18 PM
I am divorced. My parents did not divorce as my father died when I was 17 months old , my mother remarried and left my stepfather several times but they eventually stayed together.

10-29-2008, 12:19 PM
My parents are divorced. They divorced when I was about4, and my sister was about 7. My Mom remarried soon after and has been married since. My Dad hasn't remarried. I'm not married, and never have been. I hope to never get divorced but who knows.

10-29-2008, 12:21 PM
My parents divorced. I think I was 15 when they separated.

They're both MUCH happier now, even though they never appeared particularly unhappy before. They've become more interesting people -- their marriage was holding them both back from pursuing their hobbies/interests. My mom is now in a serious relationship with a very nice man and my dad is happily and purposely single. And I'm really happy for both of them!

10-29-2008, 01:18 PM
My parents have never divorced and I'm am quite sure never will. I'm not married. My mother's parents were divorced. Her father remarried at least a couple times, her mother once. My mother was young when this happened and it was a real tragedy that still upsets me to hear or think about. She didn't have half the childhood she should have had.

10-29-2008, 01:29 PM
My parents divorced when I was nine. My mom walked out on us. It was very hard on me. At the time she was selfish and wasn't thinking about her family. She got remarried only a couple of years later and had another kid. In a way I'm glad she got remarried and had my little sister, but I also wonder what our family would have been like if our family would have never been split apart. When my dad died 3 years ago my mom told me that her and my dad divorcing was a mistake. She still loved him, and he never stopped loving her.

10-29-2008, 01:37 PM
My parents just celebrated their 30th.
I am divorced. Stupid right-after-high-school-marriage. So dumb... Didn't know anything about myself or the person I was marring. He was a jerk and a moron who sufficated me. Engaged after 2 months. We knew eachother for 5 months before getting married. Happily divorced for over 2 years. I never plan on divorcing again, though. I've learned my lesson. REALLY get to know yourself and the other person before walking down the isle.

10-29-2008, 01:40 PM
Parents are still together. 38 years. Husbands parents are still together. 37 years. Married, obviously, and do not ever plan on considering divorce. We've only been married for 2 years but been together about 6. Can't imagine us ever getting to that point.

10-29-2008, 01:42 PM
nobody in my family at all has ever been divorced. everyone on my husbands side is divorced. the jury is still out for us though. lol.

10-29-2008, 02:02 PM
My parents divorced when I was young (5-6) and it was the right thing to do. My father wasn't a good husband to my mom.

My husbands parents have been together for well over 30 years and I wouldn't expect them to ever get divorced.

I've only been married for a couple years and I don't expect we'd ever get a divorce. I don't think my husband would leave unless I told him to and I don't think I'd leave him. I don't think either of us would do something to 'warrant' a divorce either.

10-29-2008, 04:19 PM
My parents divorced when I was 13. When I was 15, they both remarried other people and have been happy with those people ever since (I am now 39). It was the right thing for them. Now I have Mom and Tom and Dad and Lynne - twice the parents!

I have never been married - read into that what you will ;)

10-29-2008, 04:24 PM
I have never been married - read into that what you will ;)

You are a smart lady?

10-29-2008, 05:04 PM
My parents were actually never married, but they split up when I was just a year old. We lived in California at the time and my mom decided to move back up to Oregon to be around family and my dad followed so he could be a part of my life. I think it was the best decision for them both. My mom ended up marrying, a man I hated, when I was 7 but they divorced when I was 14. My dad never married but has been dating the same woman for 11 years, she's amazing.

I've never been married, but I hope that once I am I won't get divorced.

10-29-2008, 08:52 PM
My Mom and Dad separated when I was three, divorced when I was seven after my dad came to one of my brothers little league games drunk and still drinking with a mixed drink in his hand, sat down beside my mother and said if she didn't divorce him, he was moving back in...she used her Visa card to start the process the next morning.

Hubby and I have been together for 22 years...close to divorce many times but living in mostly comfortable compatability mode at this point....

10-29-2008, 10:04 PM
My parents divorced when I was five.

My divorce was final this past January. Almost like history repeating itself on so many issues.

10-29-2008, 10:05 PM
My parents separated many times and finally divorced when I was 9. My father was an alcoholic and abusive - it was the right thing for them to do.

I have been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 30 years. And - I am planning that we will still be together in another 30 :)

Viking Girl
10-29-2008, 10:15 PM
My parent divorced when I was 15 or 16. It was the happiest day of my life...they just weren't suited to each other and everyone was miserable. I never thought I would get married but I did. I never thought I would get divorced, but I did. I wouldn't change much about this as it taught me so much about myself and it helped me figure out what I really wanted and needed. I'm happily single but open to a new relationship if it comes along.

Viking Girl

10-29-2008, 10:48 PM
I'm married - 26 years. My parents divorced when I was 25, but I have very bad memories of terrible fights I witnessed or overheard as a child. Very traumatic. I swore I would never fight in front of my children like that and I haven't. I had a sister who was 9 when my parents split and I was happy for her not having to listen to that anymore. My husband's parents were married for 51 years before he passed away. I have 4 brother and 3 sisters. Two sisters are divorced and one brother divorced and remarried.

10-29-2008, 11:30 PM
My parents separated when I was 4 for the last time. (they never married)

Up until not so long ago I never thought I'd get married.. wanting to live the crazy independent do-what-I-want life and never saw myself as the settling down type - but as I get older I realise more and more how much I don't want that sort of life. I want to have kids and a husband... and a golden retriever. (shutting up now before I saw anything about a picket fence). =]

10-30-2008, 12:05 AM
My parents were never married. I'm married and I hope we never divorce.

10-30-2008, 12:52 AM
My parents were both married before they ended up together. My dad was married for 17 years and my mom was married for 3. Then they met and married within 3 months. They have been married for 30 years. They quite frankly should have divorced on many different occasions. My dad was an alcoholic and very abusive at times. He lost the use of his arm and ended up with a nerve disorder. He had to stop drinking with all the medications he was on. It changed him quite a bit. Now, he's been sober for 10 years and he's no longer abusive, but neither of them are happy. He's been sick and getting progressively worse so he refuses to do anything, even the stuff he can still manage. My mom had a heart attack earlier this year and feels like she needs to live life a bit more than she had. This causes them to clash quite a bit.

I have been divorced for not even a year yet. At this point I've no interest in remarrying but I'm young and that may change later on.

10-30-2008, 01:24 AM
my parents have been married 24 and 1/2 years now. I don't forsee them ever getting divorced...they're so cute and lovey together. My 18 year old sister got married this past year to her highschool sweetheart. I hope they don't get divorced, but really I have bad feelings about it all.

My brother is single, as am I. I don't forsee myself finding someone I like enough to marry. I'm ok with being single. If I ever did get married I would really like a relationship like what my parents have.

10-30-2008, 05:12 AM
my mother divorced my father before i was born.. sad /funny really.. she didnt love him anyhow ( long story) and when she got pregnant she was very sick all the time.. couldnt quit day he had a cold, and she saw snot in his nose.. that did it..she filed for divorce and it was a done deal before i was born ... it doesnt bother me tho as i have met him a couple times and we didnt hit it off..

im married..and we have a strong loving marriage.. dont think divorce would ever happen

Arlene Dallas
10-30-2008, 10:54 AM
My parents were happily married and were each others best friends besides being spouses. They were so perfect together! My dad passed away unexpectedly this past January from a heart attack (we buried him the day before my birthday) and my mom has been so lost without him. They were married for 49 years and dated for 5 years before they were married. Their 50th wedding anniversary is the day before Thanksgiving-this is going to be such a hard holiday season for my mom. I am flying home to NY to spend a week with her and will try to take her mind as much off of it as possible.

I am currently married but we have been separated for the past 2.5 years-I know I have to take the steps to get divorced but just havent done it (I know, but for some reason I keep labeling it as a failure) and everytime I bring it up to my husband he tells me that he never wanted a divorce. If you had told me 15 years ago that we would ever be apart I (and most all of our family and friends) would have told you that you were totally crazy- but my husband is an adulterer. He now admits that he has never been faithful to any woman and doesnt know if he can be- so its definitely his problem and not mine. I have been dating someone for the last year and a half and we recently moved in together but I dont foresee us getting married. I can support myself and am way past my child bearing years (which I couldnt have anyway) so for now I will be content with companionship.

10-30-2008, 01:56 PM
Nope. My parents are closing in on their 60th wedding anniversary. My in-laws are approaching their 47th. DH and I have been married 20 years.

Marathon Mom
10-30-2008, 02:38 PM
My parents divorced when I was 28 - It was very hard for me, but it was good for them. I am happily married (11 1/2 years) to a man I love more every day.

10-30-2008, 10:27 PM
My parents, both deceased, married young 19 and 17. They remained married until my father passed away at age 54. They had many great years with a few bad ones in dad was a good father and my mom would say a good husband....except for the 3 times he decided he wanted a girlfriend. Early in their mom left 25 with 4 kids...he came back quickly. Didn't stray until he was in his late 30's....she left...he came back quickly. At 53 he had another one....she kicked him out...he cancer...came back quickly. She took care of him until he died. He was a JERK to do that to my mom...not only once but 3 times. Seriously though, other than that they had tons of good times together...especially riding their Harley everywhere for many-many years.

My first wife left me after 10 years of marriage, 14 together, when our kids were 6-8. Many of you know we are good friends now....she has always been "family" in my life and her family too.

Angie and I have been married since '96....I hope she keeps me!

10-31-2008, 01:28 AM
My parents are in the process of a divorce now after 30 years of marriage. It's been a freaking nightmare. It's horrible, awful and terrible. My mother is a total mess and I'm worried about her not only emotionally but physically at this point as well. My dad is pretty miserable too but he won't do anything to change that.

I personally am not much of a supporter of divorce. I'm pretty firm in my idea that divorce should rarely ever be an option. I married a man who comes from a family where no one ever gets divorced and he feels the same.

10-31-2008, 01:37 AM
My parents are in the process of a divorce now after 30 years of marriage. It's been a freaking nightmare. It's horrible, awful and terrible. My mother is a total mess and I'm worried about her not only emotionally but physically at this point as well. My dad is pretty miserable too but he won't do anything to change that.

I'm sorry about your parents. It's a horrible situation to be in, and possibly worse when it's those you care about rather than yourself, as you can feel pretty disempowered and useless.

I personally am not much of a supporter of divorce. I'm pretty firm in my idea that divorce should rarely ever be an option. I married a man who comes from a family where no one ever gets divorced and he feels the same.

You're very lucky then. To be married to such a man, I mean. My first husband (whom I met when I was young and stupid, as well as overweight, poor self esteem and thinking I wouldn't find anyone else who wanted me) was verbally and emotionally abusive towards me and my children, and slept with other women for the last 5 years of our marriage, as well as regularly seeing prostitutes. Apparently it was because I was stupid and lazy.

I stuck it out for 12 years (15 if you count the 3 before we were married) but then got the guts to get out. Divorce should never be the first option, but I for one am very glad that it is a relatively easy one. If it were more difficult I would probably still be with him, my children would be a mess, and I would never have met and married the most wonderful man in the world.