General chatter - The Fatty Melt

View Full Version : The Fatty Melt

10-27-2008, 11:16 AM
I posted this on my blog last week. Just had to share here too! --Charlie

I like cheeseburgers. There are many words I like to use to describe them, but one stands out in particular. And that word is: elegant. I'm sure this isn't the word that springs to most minds. This adjective is normally applied to objects of a high grade or quality. However, I like to think that simplicity is a large factor of elegance. And you can't get much simpler than jamming a slab of ground beef between two halves of a bun.

Humans (either fortunately or unfortunately) tend to be "simple adverse". As soon as we've got something all set and figured out, we're not content to just leave it be. We have to improve it. We're compelled to somehow make it better. We just can't leave well enough alone. (Exhibit A being Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.)

Just in case you haven't seen it yet, I now present, The Fatty Melt:
Photograph by Robyn Lee (

Oh, it might look like an ordinary cheeseburger at first glance, but take a look at that bun. The top and bottom buns are GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES. This monstrosity was brought to us by Adam Kuban over at A Hamburger Today (which is the blog *I* would be writing if I wasn't wasting all my time on this one).

So imagine what adoring fans said when presented with this masterpiece. We love it? Thank you? This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to us? No! They said, "Where's the bacon?" Gasp! Where are your manners?

Unfazed, Adam delivered. He put bacon on the grilled cheese sandwiches and bacon on the burger. Zoinks. Of course by now, he was wise to y'all. He wasn't going to wait for you to complain a second time. So in a preemptive strike against the ungrateful masses, he introduced the Double Bacon Hamburger Fatty Melt:

Top, middle, and bottom buns: each a grilled bacon and cheese sandwich. Two four-ounce patties in between, also decorated with bacon and cheese. It's a stroke of genius, I tell you. Or, at the very least, a stroke.

He didn't post the *ahem* nutritional info because, frankly, this burger is for entertainment purposes only. And anyone who actually does attempt it, isn't going to be worried about something like "how many points are in this sandwich?" But for fun, I made a quick estimate: 2,150 calories.


10-27-2008, 11:18 AM
YUM!!!!!!!!!!!! This is something I would have jumped ALL over two months ago.

10-27-2008, 11:24 AM

I am so glad I think that is gross LOL.... My husband would be all over that, though.

10-27-2008, 01:02 PM
Oh thanks a freakin' lot CHARLIE!

now I hafta go run another 5-25 miles just so I can have one of those delicious looking burgers! :mad:

10-27-2008, 01:06 PM
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it looks yummy!

10-27-2008, 01:20 PM
Why would you post that picture!!?? you are killing me!

10-27-2008, 01:22 PM
The first pic looks cute and yummy :D

10-27-2008, 01:25 PM all I can say!

10-27-2008, 01:30 PM
Oh. My. God.


I could very easily eat one of those - although I'd feel sick for days afterward. But holy smokes. Yum! :D


10-27-2008, 02:14 PM
Webster's says they have the copyright on that photo for the food porn entry.

10-27-2008, 02:17 PM
So...I'm the only one who thinks it looks gross?

Seriously. It turned my stomach just looking.

10-27-2008, 02:36 PM
The first picture...yum...second picture....meh. Probably better with some roughage.

Oh my.

10-27-2008, 02:41 PM
I dont think I would've ever gone for that! Even when I was unhealthy. Gross!!!

10-27-2008, 03:00 PM
See, to me, that looks like heaven. LOL. I haven't come so far as to view that as anything but delicious. Yum. Of course, I would NOT eat that now. I don't like exercise enough to ever justify eating that. :eating2:

inspired by you
10-27-2008, 04:33 PM
Even at my worst of times I would have never eaten that, and i LOVE burgers. (

10-27-2008, 04:49 PM
I'd take that on in a second. Oh yeah, I'll take only one quarter now--550ish? worth it. arrhhhh 3fc blasphemy!!
with ketchup, please.

10-27-2008, 04:58 PM
I would be ALL OVER that...and I better not let my husband see that photo, or HE will be running up to the store and buying the items to MAKE one, and then I will have to smell it.


10-27-2008, 05:01 PM
It looks delicious to me, but it looks like a meal for an entire family (like 6 people). If you look at it that way, it isn't even that ridiculous!

10-27-2008, 05:30 PM
Another OMG. Heaven knows it's bad enough I like a *regular* patty melt (I MUST remember to try making 'em with Boca Burgers)

10-27-2008, 05:35 PM
remove the bacon, add tomatos and lettuce and I'd be all over that.

10-28-2008, 01:56 AM
Yum, looks good to me too!

10-28-2008, 07:56 AM
1. I don't eat meat

2. I don't really like burgers/junk food.

But I second the person who said why would you post that picture?! Now I want a damn burger.

10-28-2008, 09:30 AM
I think most people find the first "doable". The second one was, of course, created to be gross on purpose. No known human has actually eaten that. I heard from the author of that burger the day I made my original post and he seemed to imply they took the photo, then threw it out.

But I know more than one person who went home and fixed the top one after reading the original post. :)

10-28-2008, 10:01 AM
Neither look particularly tempting to me. Maybe it's the grilled cheese (blasphemy I know, but I've never, ever been a grilled cheese fan, even when I was a kid), or maybe it's that I'm nauseous from a respiratory infection, (which is why I'm here in the first place, I've only gotten about three hours of sleep, but I just had to get vertical for a while to let gravity do it's work so I can breathe and go back to bed).

I never was a fan of burgers either (at least not fast food burgers), except during TOM - hubby called it "meat week," and said I was a werewolf and during my full moon, he had to throw in a bag of burgers and wait to hear me chewing before it was "safe" to come into the apartment. Exageration? Unfortunately not as much as you'd think (but one of the reasons that eliminating my periods by bc stacking, has been vital in finding my personal weight loss formula).

My husband and I have both noticed that the less fat we eat, and for me the more carbs I eat, the more sick we become when we do overindulge (whether it's typical fast food or not), and it's finally translating (for me, anyway) into enough of a conditioned response that the many former favorited don't seem all that tempting anymore. Like at the chinese buffet we went to the other day. I did very well, and the noodle dishes just made me think of how sick I would feel if I ate them. The foods I chose weren't just the foods I "should" have, but the foods that looked the best to me.

I'm not sure when that change started to take place (and I realize if I go back to eating those foods regularly, I'd quickly lose my fear of them, even if they made me sick - I'd just get used to feeling sick all of the time - like I used to be).

10-28-2008, 12:35 PM
I can do a grilled cheese and I can do a hamburger but not together. That just looks like it would kill me right after eating it. It makes my stomach churn at the thought of eating it.

10-29-2008, 02:08 AM
My husband and I have both noticed that the less fat we eat, and for me the more carbs I eat, the more sick we become when we do overindulge (whether it's typical fast food or not), and it's finally translating (for me, anyway) into enough of a conditioned response that the many former favorited don't seem all that tempting anymore.

That sounds like the ultimate goal for all of us! Can you imagine... not even wanting bad foods!?

Just thinking about that makes me want to do the happy carrot dance:


10-29-2008, 02:23 AM
Oh boy, I love burgers but this just doesn't do it for me. In fact, it looks pretty gross. I dunno... I like grilled cheese and I like burgers...but together is a no, no. Plus I don't like bacon on burgers.

10-29-2008, 02:25 AM
add some pickles and i'm all over that! hahaha

11-03-2008, 12:11 AM
Ooo... pickles. Never thought of that. I bet some mayo would help too. :) Okay, okay. Back to dieting. *sigh*

11-03-2008, 06:53 PM
Just looking at that makes me feel chest pains.

...they still look freakin delicious, though.