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10-19-2008, 08:43 PM
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#1
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Bikini Season :)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 534
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what would you say?!
my bf and i got into a fight last night and one of the things he said (while i was in size 12 jeans for the first time in 2 years!) was that he thought i was lying about going to the gym and inviting him to go because he would assume he'd be seeing some results. he said that i was probably lying about it because i know that its what he wants....
i didnt know how to react so i just cried and now today i feel crappy.
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10-19-2008, 08:55 PM
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#2
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Weight Loss; Control Gain
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,248
S/C/G: ?/?/130
Height: 4'11"
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I would say either you heard it the wrong way somehow, or he is a total *******!
butt-hole!
Last edited by vixjean; 10-19-2008 at 08:56 PM.
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10-19-2008, 09:04 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 309
Height: 5'5"
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OMG first of all...I'd freak out too, so I can totally understand. I've read a few of your posts before, so I know you guys live together, right? ...that's gotta make it even more tough---but to say those things. Thank god you found out now. People say mean things when they're angry...but unfortunately it's usually things they think, but are too careful not to say out loud.
You're probably more forgiving than I am...but I know for sure how I'd react. I'd leave. I'm childish like that though. ...but really, you are such a pretty girl...and super smart (ms. RN!)...for someone to think that you're lying to them about working out---because they're too blind to see results, or too dense to understand that weight doesn't just disappear overnight--- For them to think that you're lying to them about doing something that you are proud of...that's hard for you, but you're doing it anyway...I think that's really low.
I'm sorry if this is incoherent...it just really bugs me that someone that is supposed to care about you could think something so ridiculous!
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10-19-2008, 09:33 PM
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#4
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Karen: La Cicciona
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NYC
Posts: 745
S/C/G: Sz 24-26 / Sz 12-14 / Sz 6-8
Height: 5' 4"
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Errr... look, sometimes people say extremely hurtful things in anger that they say JUST to hurt the other person bc theyre so mad. I know that isnt a good thing to do and that youre hurt, but you know whether this is typical behavior for him or not. If it is typical and youre really hurt, then I'd consider leaving. But if this isn't like him and its the first time he's ever made you feel this hurt, then talk to him about what he said and why it hurt you so much and why it is something he shouldn't have said, even in extreme anger.
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10-19-2008, 09:35 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,434
Height: 5'9"
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 Wow, he's ignorant.
Do you think he may have said it out of his own insecurities? Maybe he just wanted to be hurtful. Don't take it to heart, you are doing GREAT and YOU know it.
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10-19-2008, 09:47 PM
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#6
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Back in Action
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: A Nebraska Farm
Posts: 3,107
S/C/G: 213/197/140
Height: 5'6"
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OMG, I'd kick him to the curb. There is only one reason in the world to say something like that, and that is to "HURT" the person it is being said to. He said it to hurt you on purpose. While you're losing weight, lose another 150 pounds of ugliness...lose him. Ugh...
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10-19-2008, 10:07 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: California
Posts: 7,097
S/C/G: 197/135/?
Height: 5'7"
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It's childish, I know, but what I would want to do is, everytime he asks me something, say "Why are you asking me? I'm a liar."
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10-19-2008, 10:11 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,434
Height: 5'9"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieJ08
It's childish, I know, but what I would want to do is, everytime he asks me something, say "Why are you asking me? I'm a liar."
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Ha ha ha, I like the way you think, lady. 
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10-19-2008, 10:12 PM
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#9
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The Dyslexic Typo Queen
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 3,057
S/C/G: 209/155/120
Height: 5'3
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Kick him to the curb!
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10-19-2008, 10:20 PM
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#10
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Destin, FL
Posts: 62
S/C/G: 213/146/128
Height: 5'7"
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I think that anyone in your life should be supportive, not accusational. And this is something that you should be doing for YOU, not him, or anyone else. So, if I were you, I would do one of two things: either ignore his ignorant comment completely OR have a serious convo about what you are doing and why, and what you would like his role to be in your journey. If he doesn't comply then maybe he isn't right for you right now... I know that my husband is completely supportive and would never say anything but uplifting positive compliments... I hope it works out the way you want it to ;-) xoxoxo
Last edited by Ami12345; 10-19-2008 at 10:21 PM.
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10-20-2008, 12:07 AM
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#11
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Just Yr Everyday Chick
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 10,852
S/C/G: Lost 50 lbs, regained some
Height: 5'3"
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Well... I don't know the context of how it came up, but I suppose I would say, "I'm not lying. I'm sorry that you think I am. That really hurts my feelings."
Is he the one pushing you to lose weight? That doesn't seem right...
Jay
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10-20-2008, 12:09 AM
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#12
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Hug a Tree!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,302
Height: 4'9"
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well, in my marriage, I would call him a ding dong, explain he has no clue what he is talking about and walk away.
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10-20-2008, 12:35 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 182
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I commend you for not punching him in the face, because I would've decked him right then and there.
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10-20-2008, 12:46 AM
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#14
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 84
S/C/G: 179/150/140
Height: 5'7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JayEll
Well... I don't know the context of how it came up, but I suppose I would say, "I'm not lying. I'm sorry that you think I am. That really hurts my feelings."
Is he the one pushing you to lose weight? That doesn't seem right...
Jay
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This stood out to me too. It doesn't seem right he should be monitoring you that closely. Why does it matter to him if you gain or loose 5, 10, 20 lbs? It doesn't change you as a person or a girlfriend.
You made it seem as though this isn't the first conversation about your weight that you guys have had. Just be careful you're doing this for the right reasons- and at the right pace!
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10-20-2008, 12:57 AM
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#15
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Moderating Mama
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Woodland, CA
Posts: 11,712
S/C/G: 295/200/175
Height: 5' 8"
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I would say something to the effect of:
"I am working hard on my weight, and you know that. I understand that you are upset with me right now, and you have the right to be angry, but you do not have the right to talk to me and dismiss my efforts that way no matter how upset you are. I'm going to give you an opportunity to apologize for that remark."
And if he didn't? I would be VERY mad. For a long time. Because sometimes things slip out that are mean when you're mad...all of us lose our tempers at one time or another and say something we regret. But if we don't have the ability to immediately realize it is OUT OF LINE and unacceptable, and step outside of our anger to apologize for it no matter how mad we are, it is a bigger issue.
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