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BellaLucia
10-16-2008, 08:46 AM
Do you have favorites among your children?


queenofthehouse
10-16-2008, 08:57 AM
No. I have children who I sometimes like a little more than the other(s) at any given time and 2 of my 3 children are extremely easy (so far) and one that will argue with me till the cows come home. But all 3 (boys, 8, almost 7 and 5) can annoy me and make my heart overflow.

If anyone guessed the middle child is the issue, ding, ding, ding, you win the prize. What is it with those middles? LOL

tamaralynn
10-16-2008, 08:57 AM
That is always a tough question to answer :)

I don't have a "favorite" - I love both of my children equally.

I can deffinaly "favor" one's attitude compared to the other a times LOL.

When my son is having a "bad" day, my daughter has her "good" and vice versa LOL.

But I particularly love the days when they're both agreeable and we can all get along peacefully.


aphil
10-16-2008, 03:12 PM
What kind of a question IS this? :?: :?: :?: :?:

I would hope, sincerely, that no one answers that they indeed DO have a favorite child.

I can say from experience that I and my husband both know how hurtful it can be, when a relative (parent, grandparent, etc.) plays favorites...especially when it is obvious.

luvja
10-16-2008, 03:14 PM
I hate to say this, but it's true. My parents CLEARLY had/still have favourites. You don't even need to live in our house to recognize that. My Dad favours me, and my Mom favours my little sister. Thats the way it's always been. I don't know why, but it's clear.

aphil
10-16-2008, 04:20 PM
Well, my husband and I were both the kids who were clearly NOT the favored ones...and we ended up working our behinds off for minimal praise or attention, while the favored siblings are full grown adults who are still getting everything handed to them. I would never do that to my kids...

Amy8888
10-16-2008, 04:21 PM
I don't have favorites although as others have mentioned, there are times when one is easier to deal with than the other. I have two toddlers, one who is in her terrible two's and the other who is a new walker. It's hard if I have to take them both out to run an errand, so I usually leave one at home with my husband. Usually it's the girl who comes with me because she's better at listening to instructions and easier to deal with in public (between tantrums, of course). So it might appear that I favor her because I take her out with me more, but it's more a matter of convenience.

belinda245
10-16-2008, 04:28 PM
here's my 2 cents on this...
I have 2 girls .. ages 10 & 4.
I love them both the same and they both mean the world to me however.. I have a much stronger bond with my 10 year old. And my 4 year old has a much stronger bond with her dad. I tend to do more activities with my older one because she is a lot like me and is very girly like me. My little one tends to favor her dad more than me.. and is like our little tomboy. I don't love her any less and we have our own special bond.. but she is 110 % a daddy's girl.

srmb60
10-16-2008, 04:30 PM
This question just makes my head spin to even think about! My kids are all soooo different. I don't know how you'd even begin to compare. And now I have a son-in-law and a grand-daughter .... phew! Different again!
It's mind-boggling.

asparagus4sale
10-16-2008, 05:05 PM
Well, by far, my favorite is my 3 year-old. My two-year old can be such a pain and she pooped on the floor twice this week. The two one-year olds - well they are ok but I barely ever see them. So, yep, definitely going with the 3 year old. Plus he is the only human so we have that in common. :D:D:D

FB
10-16-2008, 05:31 PM
Oh Sarah, funny, funny girl. I think my mouth was hanging open and all slack jawed as I began reading your post, smiling by the end. ;)

FrouFrou
10-16-2008, 05:36 PM
My mom has favs but I do not, maybe I learned from her how not to be when I had kids.

I would like to say I treat all my kids equal. I love them all the same but different because all three of them are different. But I don't do more for one over the other or love one more than the other. I would do anything for any of them and they know that.

zeffryn
10-16-2008, 10:14 PM
I have a two year old and another on the way.....I cannot think about how I could love another kid the same way that I do my son....but something tells me it won't be a problem. It just blows my mind how my heart can just make room for another.

kaplods
10-16-2008, 11:20 PM
My (younger) brother and I were adopted (separately, we're not biorelated). I remember being really, really excited when my mom was pregnant with my first sister (I was 14), and one of my best friends asked me if I wasn't afraid that that my parents would love the baby more because it was their "real" child (I guess my brother and I were fake kids). I remembered thinking it was the craziest thing I'd ever heard, but I was surprised at how many adults asked my parents similar questions.

"Oh you must be so thrilled to be having your own child after so many years." (Like my brother and I were just rentals, I guess).

I would say that my mother identifies more with our youngest sister (their personalities are crazy clones of each other), but I've never seriously felt any of us was a clear favorite (at least not consistently, of course there were times when one child got more attention than another, and anyone in a pouty mood could decide to think that the child getting the attention at the moment was the favorite). Like my brother accusing me of being the favorite because I had no curfew (he consistently broke his 10 pm curfew, and I never had a curfew because I was a boring child and rarely came home after 9).

lauralyn
10-17-2008, 07:58 AM
I remember reading somewhere that it is not uncommon for parents to favor one child over the other.

My parents favored my sisters who are 6 years younger than me and still do. I vowed to never do that to any of my children.

With that being said my middle child who is 13 pushes every button I have and she is often times very hard to talk to where my older daughter (17) and my son (9) are easy to talk to so I am able to communicate much easier with them. I know it is just a faze with my 13 year old so I try not to let it get me down when she would rather read then spend time doing anything with me.

So no, I don't have a favorite but there are times when it is easier to be with one child than the other.

aphil
10-17-2008, 08:21 AM
I am aware fully that some children, due to their personalities, are easier to be around than others...but I don't think that is favoring so much.

What I am talking about (and both myself, and my husband have experienced) is one OBVIOUSLY being the favorite.

For instance, on my dad's side of the family, my grandmother favored my female cousin over me. (The rest were boys.) It was so obvious, that she didn't ever ask me to spend the night, ask me to do things with her, etc. but always did Kristy. There was even an incident where I wanted something for my birthday, and actually asked my grandmother for it (It was a Smurfette stuffed animal, BTW.) and when my birthday came around, my cousin had a Smurfette in her room, and I found out that it was my grandmother who bought it for her for no special day at all. I never got one...

The funny thing is, is that out of all of her grandchildren, I am pretty much a carbon copy of my grandmother. I look like her, have her mannerisms, her artistic abilities, about 90% of her body type/shape...and we are even the same astrology sign. She died 7 years ago, when I was pregnant with my second child...and to this day, my grandfather cannot see me without crying-the resemblance is that striking. I have to say that it is an odd experience-resembling someone SO much physically and talentwise...when you always felt that the person never liked you all that much. It's a constant reminder.

My husband has two younger sisters that he grew up with (he has other siblings...long story) and the middle child was the "favorite". Actually, she was, and still is, babied. Jason and his youngest sister had to work for everything, and the middle child didn't. She is favored and spoiled not only by the parents, but by the maternal grandparents as well-to the point that she is almost 30 years old, and has never made a car payment. (Grandpa keeps her in a vehicle...) She also had her college paid for...while my husband had to pay for his own student loans, etc. It has even trickled down into our children. They are pretty much raising her 2 year old child, and apparently he walks on water. I had my youngest child just a few weeks apart from when she had hers...and they were at the hospital with loads of gifts for them...and they didn't even come and see OUR son for over a week, and brought nothing.

It sucks royally when people play favorites...

besita
10-17-2008, 09:52 AM
Well, by far, my favorite is my 3 year-old. My two-year old can be such a pain and she pooped on the floor twice this week. The two one-year olds - well they are ok but I barely ever see them. So, yep, definitely going with the 3 year old. Plus he is the only human so we have that in common. :D:D:D

My mouth definitely fell open at first, but reading the ending made me laugh out loud! :lol:

I don't have children, but speaking for my parents they make it very well known that they love us and appreciate us equally. My sister and I used to try to catch them on "Who is your favorite?!" all the time when we were little and they would never fall for it. Neither of us were ever treated better or worse than the other, even if one of us did something seriously naughty. Having our Mom and Dad as our parents is a blessing that I thank God for every day. :D

MBN
10-17-2008, 10:07 AM
I don't think I love my 2 teenage boys unequally, but maybe "differently". They are such different kids. The older is more reserved, usually more mature/responsible (although not always!), brilliant, but more theoretical than practical, a GREAT kid and my first child. The second one is funny/outgoing, more happy-go-lucky but more practical in many ways, more like me so we we tend to tangle more, a GREAT kid, and my baby. They've both driven me crazy at times, and also made me so proud in many ways. How could I pick one over the other?

I couldn't imagine life without both!!

alinnell
10-17-2008, 01:24 PM
I have a favorite son and a favorite daughter.

Of course, I only have two children!!!

EZMONEY
10-17-2008, 04:07 PM
I don't think I could love or show my son and daughter more love to each than I do. I think that shows in how much they love and respect each other and their spouses, myself and their mom and step-mom.

My relationship with each is so unique and special yet they overlap....

My daughter's favorite player was always her brother, whether it was track, cross-country, roller hockey, basketball or baseball....she rarely missed a game....my son never missed a chance to watch his sister in her dance recitals or tennis matches.

My son took an extra year of college to pursue another degree then had a teaching credential year....therefore he and his sister graduated college on the same day from different colleges...at the same time.....

he didn't walk with his college....allowing ALL of us to go see his sister, including himself.

I have a friend that favors his children and grandchildren....very obviously....it is not a pretty picture.

shantroy
10-17-2008, 04:45 PM
My parents have always tried to be fair about everything. I graduated university in 4 years. It's taken my brother 5 years with summer school every year. Since my brother was getting more "money" for his education. they helped me buy a car for my job. I've never felt that one of us was the favourite and I'm glad for that. I have a friend who always always get the short end of the stick so to speak and it drives me nuts. It's so bad sometimes that my mom has even commented on it to my friends mom (our mom's are friends).

However, when my brother and I were little we'd ask who the favourite was. If I aksed my mom would respond with my brother. If my brother asked I was the favourite. It used to make me so mad...

EZMONEY
10-17-2008, 04:51 PM
My kids never asked me who was my favorite....cool.

Operator265
10-17-2008, 05:07 PM
Everyone thought I was my mom's favorite, but I think the situation was just too confusing. I was born 7 years after my youngest brother, my mom divorced BioDad when I was 5 and her life and career took off.

Although Mom never really wanted children, I was the most unwanted pregnancy due to circumstances. Then came the guilt of those feelings and the improvement in her lifestyle. It's not that she favored me, it was just that she felt guilty about the fact that she didn't have much for the older kids and tried to make up for it on me.

The older kids are also pretty good at not noticing that I was the one who got to help my step dad pick up the emotional garbage that her first marriage left her with after they all ran away from it(understandably, but still...).

After her funeral I pointed out to my oldest sis that 1) She got 15 more yrs. with Mom, and 2) She got to start out life with a halfway decent family life for the first 10 years before BioDad went completely nuts. I think that kinda helped her get over some of the jealousy.

PS: Mom often said she never had a Wanted Pregnancy, but she also never had an Unwanted Child.