My usual "hangout" spot for the weekend is this nice dance club/ bar up in Connecticut. I usually go at least once a weekend. It's a great place to unwind and dance your booty off. Since going there I have met many of the regulars, since I have become one.
There is this woman that goes every weekend with no fail. And she spends most of the time on the dance floor. I would guess she is somewhere in her 50's, she has grandchildren. I've always enjoyed watching her. Despite her age, she dances the night away as if she was 17 yrs old. And at any moment you can see her dancing with any of the men, young or older. She cannot be any taller than 5 ft, she's a tiny woman who is always dressed with class but with a "teenager" twist to it. We always exchange hello's and keep an eye on eachothers drinks while the other one is dancing. Very friendly woman.
This past weekend, as we were both on the sidelines, dancing to the music and watching everyone on the dance floor, she reached into her purse and she took out a picture. She handed it to me and I leaned down (cause she's so short) and she said "This was me 1 year ago". I couldn't believe my eyes. The woman in the picture was 400 lbs and at less than 5 ft, am sure you all could imagine the pain and discomfort in her eyes. I just stared at this picture and I couldn't believe it. I first told her how wonderful she looks and how amazing it all was. I then of course asked her how she did it. She explained that she was obese her entire life, struggling to lose any weight. She was dying and she knew it, so she took the last measure she could to save herself. She had the gastro thingy (can't remember word) surgery. She said she still had to work her butt off to lose the weight and get fit, but it was the best thing she could have ever done for herself. She still works very hard she says and every day is a struggle. But finally, an outcome that pays off for working so hard. I was so proud of her and you could see in her eyes, she was so proud of herself.
She says (she's puerto rican, so imagine the accent, lol) Mommi, I know you don't have as nearly much weight as I have to lose, but know that you can do it. If I can do it, anyone can do it. I was killing myself, the slow and painful way. Don't let it happen to you. You're young and beautiful. I had no choice but to have the surgery done. I was given 6 months to live. It wasn't a cure, but it was the tool and the help that I needed."
Normally, I would get offended if a near stranger ever mentioned something about my weight. But from her, it was as if...she knew what I was feeling and thinking.
I truly believe that her story touched my heart..and gave me some of the determination I have this week.
If she hadn't showed me that picture, I would have never ever in my lifetime believed her. But though the images are so so very different, I knew it was her. You could see it in the eyes. And now I can certainly understand why she is always smiling each time I see her.
When I want to give up or take some time off from my "healthy way"..I will think of her, and think of how far she has come.
I am so glad to hear a story like this for a lot of really big reasons. Mainly, I know a LOT of people who have gone for the gastro surgery, expecting it will be an instant fix. Its NOT. There is no happy instant cure out there. If you want to lose weight you have to change your lifestyle. No matter WHAT plan of action you choose, you have to do some work too. I'm glad to hear that she said that, because I worry so much about how many people say "well look at carnie wilson, I'll just go get myself one of those stomach surgery things and I'll be all good." Its not true. If you don't change your eating habits, there is no surgery or pill or cream that can change your weight. you have to put the work in!!!
BTW Jenniffer--- maybe I should come down to conneticut one weekend and meet you there!!!! I live about 3 hours from Danbury CT...
what a wonderful thing. I just head read a story on the internet yesterday about a woman who had the gastroplasy done and some of the skin tucks and she was doing fine but she had suddenly dies it did not say why but it was very sad. I am so glad to have read your story after reading that one. thanks. and yes keep her in mind. I have another large lady that i keep in mind when i remember her.
What an awesome story. I don't know how many times I have said "If only..." I don't want to be given 6 months to live and have to think once again "If only".
not sure if i should jump in here, but what the heck....
i had this surgery on january 29, and since then have lost more than 70 pounds. added to the 97 between last august and the surgery, i still have more than 100 to go.
the surgery is not an easy choice to make or to live with. but, like jeniffer's dancing lady, when you're close to dying, you have to make a choice.
and so i did.
but even with the surgery, you have to change your eating habits, and what's even more important, you have to change your attitude about food. there's no more giving in to cravings, or: that 'i think i want...' or using food as comfort, or when you're angry. not only will it defeat the surgery, you will get sick!!!
it's not for someone who hasn't pretty much conquered their food demons, or at least is very aware of them.
and a sample day for me [i posted something similar to this menu on the low carb board, mostly as a joke because it's so little], in fact, this is what i ate today., and it was a good day:
1 oz veal picatta [with some capers]
2 small pieces artichoke hearts
1 tablespoon rice
and lots of water. and a multivitamin, calcium, vit c, zinc
and, losing 300 pounds in a year is most remarkable, even with the surgery. she must have worked so very very very hard. so, jeniffer, when you see her again, would you mind telling her that she's my idol??????
and a ps for sue... you KNEW i wouldn't be able to resist this thread, didn't you???? LOL.
Aww..am so glad you all saw in the story what I saw when she told me.
We've all heard the horror stories of those who have had the surgery and given up afterwards. I would admit that I think having the surgery and following youre "program" afterwards is much much harder than losing weight without the surgery.
So for the ignorant and uneducated people (whom I have seen at 3FC open their mouths when they shouldn't) judge others and look down on people who have had to have the surgery in order to save their lives (and I truly believe that) they should really try educate themselves on obesity. They should really look deep within themselves before they say ignorant things like "I don't understand why people don't have the willpower or strength to lose weight, but they have the surgery"
As someone who has never had more than 100 lbs to lose (but close to it), I am openminded enough to understand that obesity is a disease. I understand that sometimes there is no other choice. If it got down to a life and death situation for me, I would most likely opt for the surgery. Is it quick magic? No, not at all. It's alot more work and dedication than I have put into my weightloss journey.
I respect those that took such a drastic measure to save their bodies and often minds. And I also applaud those who have fought like **** to lose weigh without the surgery. There is no simple answer for any of us. As we all should have learned already, we are all different, with different bodies.
This subject has popped on many threads here on 3FC. And I was amazed at how many times people say things without thinking. There are many "chicks" here who have had the surgery who work very hard and must remain dedicated to their choice.
I would never look down on anyone who has had any surgery, including lipo or beast lifts. I for one will have a breast lift or a tummy tuck when I reach goal if needed (the breasts already need a lift, lol).
I am in no way saying that every overweight person who fits the criteria for this surgery, to run out and "get fixed". But as adults, we should respect eachothers decisions.
This woman in my story like so many others here have inspired me to no end. And I hope one day I will inspire others.
Jennifer,
Your my Idol..... LOL You Go Girl... I am so glad your back!!
The lady you met is amazing. I felt her pain.
People lose weight in different ways, it's a personnal choice. What matters is the committment you make to losing weight.
Yes... I chose the surgery too, and I have worked very hard. I had my 1 year appointment 2 weeks ago and I have lost 247 lbs.
I weighted 466 lbs before surgery and it saved my life. But I am committed to this new life style. I have a little more to lose but I know I'll get there. I have a little more than 6 months until I Climb the Great Wall of China, but I'll make it!!
Jennifer, you have been through so much, but your back. Yes!!! Jennifer has her "GROOVE" back!! You motivate everyone.
I will try not be be such a stranger, I leave on Vacation Saturday but will return a week later. My first Airplane ride in over a year, I wonder if the seat will be more comfy??? LOL
Hang in there everyone..... we can do it!!
Derby
I need a scanner bad.... I have some photos to show... LOL
wow, what a great story... and what a great lady, and great ladies we have here.... when I went to the ER when my liver shut down day after christmas, I saw the same doctor I always have, and he was telling me about one of the nurses that had the gastric bypass... I almost got offended, but I realized I really HAVE gotten that big, I mark my book that I'm reading with one of my pictures from christmas, so I'm forced to see exactly what I've done to my body.... I still prefer to do it on my own, but I think if things were different for us, if we had more money, insurance, whatever, I might seriously consider it, not as a cop out, but because I know the pain I have from exercising... dealing with that pain is my only option now, but if I had any other, I think I might take it, maybe not the bypass, but maybe the adjustable band operation... I try not to have the skewed outlook that I used to, you know, deal with the cards your given, I still have problems with people who seem to have plastic surgery addictions.... there is a show on MTV this month, one of the True Life series, about plastic surgery, and quite honestly, I thought everyone on it except the woman who had the bypass was ridiculous...lol, you all should check it out, they play the re-runs all the time
DERBY!!!!!! *runs and trips over my own feet to hug ya!*
How are you?!?!?! You brought tears to my eyes! I've missed ya and think of you often. You've come a long way missy! You must look fabulous and better yet, feel fabulous! I want pictures! March out and buy a scanner damn it! You weigh 6 lbs more than I do. You realize that don't ya?
And October is coming real real soon, isn't it? You and your husband must be so excited.
Where are you going on vacation?
Better get your butt in here as soon as you return! Have fun!!
PNG..I agree too that I don't agree with those women who are crazy about plastik surgery just to get that "perfect" body. I disgree strongly. But I don't disagree completely with plastic surgery. I just want things where they should be. I'll be 27 in December with no children, I should have boobies in the right spot, and if that means a little surgery, then so be it.
I just want to make sure no one took offense to what I said. I am not AT ALL against those surgeries, I just know in my own personal life, a lot of people who want a "quick fix" and assume if they have the surgery that they will be instantly (or really quickly) skinny, without realizing the amount of work they have to put in. Because of that, I get hesitant when I hear people reccomending it. There are a lot of people out there with a lot of money to throw around that think they can just pay someone else to do their work for them. Our WW leader was saying just last night that the only person who can lose the weight for you is yourself, and i firmly believe that.
Beth Anne..No no no..you didn't offend anyone. I firmly agree with you. There are some people who would go that dratstic for a "miracle" or "quick fix"..and those people..well, I feel sad for them. It takes alot of work and commitment to lose weight, nomatter what. I was just pointing out that there are some people here in other groups that loom down on those who had to make that difficult choice. And I applaude them. That's all I was saying..I couldn't imagine anyone here being as narrowminded as some others I have run across. You in no way stepped on anyones toes. I agree with you..but we all know what weight can do..cause ppl to think crazy and believe that there is a quick fix.
I think all of you are amazing in your own way. I am choosing to loose my excess weight on my own but, I am really glad there is a surgery now for people who really need it. I have seen some people have this surgery and then not know how to deal with their diet afterwards. Jennifer I applaude your friend and the other ladies on here who have worked so hard after their surgeries.
244 in a year is terrific!!! i had my 10-week checkup today, and i'm GREAT!!! the doc says that i'm doing everything right, and i look terrific.
and the totals: since the surgery i've lost 83 pounds. and my grand total since last september is 180 pounds. that's about 8 months, or more than 20 pounds a month. i'll take it.
I am leaving Saturday for Las Vegas and on Monday we will drive to San Diego, and Mexico. We will drive to LA on Thursday and leave from LA on Saturday. My Husband lived in San Diego for 5 years and has friends he wants to see.
As for Plastic Surgery.... I am not big on this but I will require some plastic surgery for skin removal. I am lucky that I don't have any hanging skin on my face, neck, or breast.... just from the breast down and upper arms. I will need a upper body lift and will have one late fall or winter. I am doing this more for health issues, since the excess skin can cause internal yeast infections. I do not have a spleen and need to be careful about the possibility of yeast infections.
I will tell you one thing I have found out about dieting that made me mad. Did you know Carbonated Beverages are the cause of stretching your stomach?? Doesn't matter if they are regular or diet. A Pepsi when drank with a meal will allow you to eat 3 times your stomachs actual size. Constant drinking of Carbonated Beverage will stretch your stomach even if you only drink 1 a day. This is the main reason why Children are getting heavier because they are drinking more and more Carbonated Beverages instead of Juice, Kool Aid, and Milk.
1 of the main reasons diets fail is because people switch from regular to diet sodas. But you still stretch your stomach and never feel full. The key is to quit drinking Sodas and drink Water, even Kool aid is a better choice. If you quit drinking sodas over time your stomach will reduce in size. Since I have had this surgery I have not had any Carbonated Beverages. My surgeon says the people who lose the weight and keep it off after surgery are the people who Totally give up Sodas for the rest of their lives. Diet doesn't make it OK. So, I have given sodas up for the rest of my life!!! It seems like a small thing to give up anyway.
I know Jennifer... H2O.... H2O....H2O!!!
Well I gotta run, I open the store today..... yipee!!
Derby Girl!!!! *runs and trips over Jennifer to hug ya!*
How nice to see you again!! That thing about the pop. That is the most interesting thing that I have ever read. Wow!! I always thought that because I drank diet I was good. Ok, here goes...4/18/02...12:51pm...I officially swear off all pop. I have been only having a few cans a week anyway, but now I'm off for good!!
She lost 300 lbs and I never knew it..
I live about 3 hours from Danbury CT...
