20-Somethings - Any other military or military wives out there




JamieJo
10-09-2008, 01:16 PM
Anyone else in the military or married to a military person out there?


FreeSpirit
10-09-2008, 01:23 PM
Edit: oops.

Anyways, My husband is in the MC.

NishKitten
10-09-2008, 01:25 PM
I'm on terminal leave (I had 60 days of leave, can you believe it!?) but I was active duty army for six years. Got tired of the B.S. I'm in pre-med now working on a degree in pharmacology.

How are you? :D


kimberlyw
10-09-2008, 02:13 PM
I am married to a soldier - AD Army:) I love this lifestyle and so does he:) He is career military - 6 years in so far. 3 enlisted and 3 officer - we love it!

Edited to add - I forgot to tell what he does! Right now he is military intelligence, but he is going psychological operations next month.

JamieJo
10-09-2008, 02:30 PM
I was National Guard for 6 years Army, then went to Air guard. Planning on getting out this spring. My husband is AGR Army and being deployed again. Kim- How can you "love" it?? I hate it soooo much. I really don't want to be alone again for another year. I'm afarid my weight will skyrocket again!!! ;(

Lovley - What is SOS?

FreeSpirit
10-09-2008, 02:41 PM
HMM...

Maybe I don't recognize your avatar. LOL.

kimberlyw
10-09-2008, 03:24 PM
Jaime, I HATE deployments, but I can do it. I love the opportunity to pick up and move someplace new and make new friends and start over again every 3-4 years:) I love traveling and the newness of it all!

As for deployments, mine just got back Dec 15 2007 from a 15 month deployment. (Yes, Connor was a "just got back from Iraq" baby LOL)

We thought it would be 12 months when he left in Sept 2006. However, right after he got back to Iraq from R&R, all the spouses/parents got phone calls saying it had been extended to 15 mo. That was the only time I remember breaking down and crying since he had first left. I cried all evening while I called the women on my phone roster, and then I smoked a pack of ciggerettes (I smoked while he was deployed - not going to do that again), and drank a bottle of good German wine. After that I was fine again:)

I actually lost all the baby weight from my third baby when he left. I lost 30lbs in 2 mo. Depression makes me lose instead of gain. So everyone was really concerned at first, but I was fine:)

Anyway, we are facing deployment in about a year after he finishes psyops training. He gets attatched to a special forces group and luckily their deployments are only like 6 mo at a time - much more doable than that 15 mo stint.

GL during the deployment and if you ever need to talk you can pm me and I will give you my e-mail/phone number:)

FreeSpirit
10-09-2008, 05:23 PM
My husband is deployed right now. He's been gone since August 18th. *sigh*

He'll be gone through thanksgiving, christmas, the new year, and he should be back right around my birthday near the end of march.

kimberlyw
10-09-2008, 05:37 PM
I'm sorry hon!! That sucks so much - My hubby has missed my daughter's first and second birthdays due to his deployment. Her third b-day is next month and he will miss it again due to SERE's training:( I hate that he misses out on family celebrations - it kinda dampens the whole spirit of it! I hope he gets back in time for your b-day:)

FreeSpirit
10-09-2008, 05:50 PM
His expected return date is the day AFTER my birthday, lol. We all know how those things can change though, so we'll see.

He feels really crappy about it too because they're expected to deploy again in Feb. 2010. So he'll miss it AGAIN. He missed it last year because he was trianing.

He's going to miss our 1 year wedding anniversary, and he might miss the one in 2010 as well... depending on when they leave in Feb.

He doesn't want to be a lifer, though. So his deployment in 2010 should be his last thankfully. At least I'll get to spend the holidays with him next year! I didn't get to last year because he got out of training, and found out where his duty station was going to be so we didn't get a chance to make any christmas plans because we didn't know where he would be!

kimberlyw
10-09-2008, 05:57 PM
It is tough when they miss important occasions:( I hope that his return date does change:) My hubby missed our first anniversary too - only it was just a lousy field exercise LOL - he was a cavalry scout with the 2/2 ACR at Fort Polk back then:)

I think having kids helps me to deal with the deployments because I never have to deal with an empty, quiet house, and my kids and I talk about their dad and when we are sad we tell eachother. GL during the rest of this deployment:)

NishKitten
10-09-2008, 06:16 PM
Tell your hubby good luck with the SERE training. I went through the not as bad SERE-ITAC and got my *** kicked a few times.

Hubby is SF and he went through SERE-C and came home gaunt and sick with his toes broken, bruised ribs, and missing a tooth in the back. They aren't allowed to talk about it, so don't even ask.

It's pretty intense. Lots of mind games, and they'll probably waterboard him so he has that to look forward to. Glad he's going while it's still a little warmer. :p

Honestly, I miss my husband, but I don't mind the deployments much anymore. To be honest I kinda don't mind him getting out of my face for a few months. It gives me time to redecorate and buy things I couldn't buy if he was home. :D He's never been gone longer than 6 months at a time, but there is a lot of times where he'll come home for two weeks then be off again. At least now we get fair warning, when we first got hitched I would come home and he would just be gone until he showed up again. It was pretty bad while we were doing the 'revolving door' deployment thing. He would be coming, I would be leaving, or vice versa. It got pretty stupid, then they stop-lossed me due to "retention necessity", then stop lossed me AGAIN and deployed me a second time which is how I ended up being in this long. My ETS was Oct 20 2006... heh.

kimberlyw
10-09-2008, 07:00 PM
Good Lord!!! I hope that you can really get out this time!

Yeah, Josh told me that they are allowed to break a toe or a pinky finger and they can hit you and deprive you of food, sleep, etc. He didn't tell me that I couldn't ask about it though - not that I would really want to know about him being tortured in detail (unless he really pissed me off LOL).

Anyway, I told him if he looked too beat up he might need to stay in lodging a few nights to recover (I don't want our boys 8, and 10 to see him all beat up...). I am proud of him even though I don't really understand why anyone in their right mind would volunteer for this LOL!

NishKitten
10-09-2008, 08:02 PM
It's kinda fun in a sick way, but then... i've got issues. Anyplace where I can kick someone in the face and it's allowed is a good time for me. :o

I don't think they do the simulated rape training to the guys, so he won't have to worry about some stinky dude getting WAY too close which is fortunate for him. I did learn some great self defense techniques in that training though. I use them on my husband to coerce him into doing chores. :D

RememberHowToSmile
10-09-2008, 11:02 PM
I’m not a military wife or girlfriend, there use to be like a half dozen of you on here and now it seems they have all disappeared. I work with veterans and it amazes me every day the sacrifice they and their families make . . . so thank you all and thank your spouses for your scarifies.



(On an odd note I love guys in the military something about uniforms . . . )

Wolf Goddess
10-10-2008, 12:14 AM
I'm a military brat; my father is still in the reserves and is almost 50 years old. He's been in the Navy for 31 years and met my mom while at a military school (she's an ex-Marine).

JamieJo
10-11-2008, 06:59 PM
Hey guys - sorry, started this thread and forgot to check up on it. I'm pretty frustrated with the military right now and can't wait to ETS in the Spring. But, that is when my husband is deploying again...for another year. I would really like to have another baby but refuse to be alone, preggo, and raising Kendalyn (my 16 month old) by myself. I just don't understand how you guys do it with your men leaving when you have kids. I get so mad and take it out on him (and myself). How did you guys get the point where it wasn't so damn difficult to see them deploy?

NishKitten
10-11-2008, 08:39 PM
Hey guys - sorry, started this thread and forgot to check up on it. I'm pretty frustrated with the military right now and can't wait to ETS in the Spring. But, that is when my husband is deploying again...for another year. I would really like to have another baby but refuse to be alone, preggo, and raising Kendalyn (my 16 month old) by myself. I just don't understand how you guys do it with your men leaving when you have kids. I get so mad and take it out on him (and myself). How did you guys get the point where it wasn't so damn difficult to see them deploy?

You need to realize that regardless of your feelings about the military, nobody forced you or your husband to sign up. You do your time, you do what they tell you (whether it's your prescribed "job" or not), and either you get out when your time is up or you decide to stay in.

You're a dual military couple just like me and my husband. That's an advantage because you understand the ins and outs a lot better than a civilian wife, so I don't know why his deployments are so tough on you. You know as well as he does there is nothing you can do about it. You just have to resign yourself to the fact that deployments are an unfortunate part of life that you can NOT change, and then you learn how to make it work regardless.

You made it through training, so where is that strength I know you have? You're in this forum, so you're obviously a young wife. Hold your horses and have a baby later. It's going to be hard enough transitioning back to civilian life with ONE child, especially if you plan on returning to the civilian workforce. ACAP and all of those stupid commercials about how the military teaches you viable job skills? Lies. Most of our jobs don't translate, and even worse when an employer looks at your resume and notices you're an Iraqi Freedom vet he's going to find any way he can to pass it up because he's automatically assuming that you're bat**** crazy. Unless you qualify for one of the job positions at the VA (which are competitive because you're up against all the other recent vets who can't get an interview anywhere), or you want to be a cashier at the PX/BX then you're S.O.L.

Trust me, I have a BS in Chemistry with an overall 3.6 GPA, years of lab experience, finance, office management and computer skills out of this world. I've only had ONE interview since back in July and of the other nearly 140 places i've applied to, HR managers i've met with and spoken to, etc. nobody has even given me a chance and i'm considering taking my military experience off of my resume and just saying that i've been in school the entire time to see if it helps.

You're going to have way bigger fish to fry than just your husband being deployed if that's the case. The deployments will slow down this upcoming year, and there is an extremely good chance his deployment will be significantly shortened and he will never have to deploy again unless we start picking on some other country. You'll live! :hug:

As long as you love each other and stay committed to knowing and supporting each other you will be fine. Him being gone won't get much easier, but you can choose to deal with it a lot better. Your child needs a strong mommy who can be 200% when daddy isn't there, and your husband needs to know that you're holding down the fort and doing fine on your own. It's not even about you, it's about them. We all do what we have to. You know that.

JamieJo
10-12-2008, 09:12 PM
Wow Kitten - If that was your attempt to make someone feel better you need to work at it...I didn't say anyone forced me or my husband to do anything...I was just venting my frustration about having to be a single mom...again.

We are obviously in a different situation then you and your family. I am National Guard and have a very successful civilian career.

NishKitten
10-12-2008, 09:34 PM
Wow Kitten - If that was your attempt to make someone feel better you need to work at it...I didn't say anyone forced me or my husband to do anything...I was just venting my frustration about having to be a single mom...again.

We are obviously in a different situation then you and your family. I am National Guard and have a very successful civilian career.

Then you are extremely lucky, and I apologize if it seemed like the tone was condescending or brisk. The "Hysterical FRG Wife" memorized speech started to kick in. I didn't mean it like that at all!

That was a lot of my frustration being vented too, I didn't mean to project it onto you at all. :(

It's tough, and I hope you did catch where I said that the deployments would be starting to slow. When I was leaving Iraq a few months ago a lot of the FOB's were in the initial stages of deactivation, so hopefully this is his last trip and there is a good chance it will be shortened. I know they're downsizing Mortuary Affairs, and that's always a telltale sign that things are about to either be drastically reduced, or that we're about to pack up and leave altogether.

Good luck and I hope they don't try to reactivate you. I don't know how NG works since i'm Active, but I know they recall you guys a lot more than us.

Jelbb
10-12-2008, 09:50 PM
Hey JamieJo!

Aww, that sounds pretty rough.
My dad was an officer in the military... though, the Canadian military, with whatever differences that entails in your opinion--- and I know it was hella tough on my mom when we lived in the middle east in Syria when I was little. Gulf war... my mom and my brother and I (both under the age of 5) got evacuated back to Canada, and my dad had to stay overseas. I know it really sucked for her, and she stressed about having to take care of the two children on her own for quite some time. (And then being a single mom again later when my dad passed away at a young age of cancer... :()

I wish you all the best, and hope that you can manage through things, and while he's away, you throw all of your love into cute little Kendalyn! (What a sweetheart, by the way! She looks so adorable in that pic!)

brandewijn
10-13-2008, 12:06 PM
Navy wife here. I'm with the "I love it". :) Navy brat then. Navy wife now. This is all I know. We are stationed in Florida right now. Can't wait to get out of here. Third time being stationed somewhere is overdoing it just a bit. :dizzy:

Chele615
10-13-2008, 04:51 PM
I don't know much about the military life....just that my brother-in-law is a captain in the Air Force and just came back from Iraq. He will be home again until after the new year. I know it's tough on my sister because she's out in another state, pretty much by herself, while he's away. Plus, she was pregnant for the majority of his leave. But, he feels very strongly about what the military is doing over there, so that helps all of us.

JamieJo - Stay strong, vent all you need to, and I just wanted to add that Kendalyn is such a pretty name :)

Lackie
10-19-2008, 12:58 PM
Hey I am a military wife! New to the forums. I'm going to have to say I'm in the 'love it' category. Even though I am sad when DH deploys, it's a time for me to recenter myself and actually decide what I want to do with my time. I love DH, but deployments allow me to focus on me. :) I look at the bright side at least they are going to 12 month and hopefully stick with it. lol :)