[TenaciousB]

Hi everyone,

I don't know about you, but I used to use food alot to help me cope when I was feeling rubbish, or anxious and particularly when I felt angry. I could just eat a massive pudding or pizza or take away, and for a little while I would feel ok, although it was shortlived and I would have to do it again after feeling guilty and hating myself for eating too much.

Thing is, now my habits are changing and I'm making good progress which I am happy about . When I'm having a hard time as life is sometimes tough I find it hard to cope.
I'm not wolfing down some kind of lard at every opportunity anymore, so I feel like I've no crutch. I'm glad with the change, but I feel like my emotions are all over the place sometimes.
I talk to my husband who is so supportive and a beautiful human being, but trying to lose weight feels like its a solo thing in a way, like it's my journey and not his. I don't talk to my friends about as they are pretty much all a healthy weight and I don't think they'd get it.

I wondered if any of you experience the same kind of difficulty, and if so, how do you cope without food as a crutch?
I also wonder if any of you feel impatient to lose weight . I know it will take a while as I've alot of weight to lose, and I'm taking it just day by day which is really helpful to me. But sometimes I feel impatient to lose weight and that frustrates me a little. Do you get that? If so, what do you do about it?
Ok, I think that's my moaning done for the day!! I hope I'm not bringing anyone down.
Keep up the war on extra weight everyone

[PhotoChick]

I wondered if any of you experience the same kind of difficulty, and if so, how do you cope without food as a crutch?

It's so tough! For a long time I felt like an emotional basket case. I felt like I was PMSing all the time because w/out food I couldn't seem to get control of my emotions.

I think the hardest thing is to learn to accept your emotions and realize that it's OK to be sad. It's OK to be angry. It's OK to cry. One of the things that freaked out my husband was that there were some days I came home from the gym, got into the shower and cried, and went to bed. I needed the sleep, I needed the emotional release, and I needed to be left alone to get it all out.

I'm much more accepting of my emotions now. When I feel something I can take a minute to sit down and think *why* am I feeling this way and is there anything I can do to change that. And if there isn't to accept that it's OK to feel this way and go from there.

(Not to say that I'm always successful at all of that - but Im getting better at it.)

.

[Quixotica]

Yeah...I am with you on this one. One person here called it emo-eating and I had to laugh as I work with teenagers and emo is a goth type teen that listens to sad music, feels sorry for themselves and tend to be into cutting. That is from the mouth of a teen...but food is like that for so many of us; it sinks all those bad feelings back down into that dark well we keep them stuffed. I have been going around with tears at the back of my eyes for days and I realized that it was because I had not been stuffed and drugged in months. It is hard to mull those feelings over and figure out what is going on. I am trying to put a finger on it and it is some naturally unsettling things that are happening in my life right now and I've got to figure out what to do rather than avoid the problems and hope they will go away. I also think that I have an addictive personality, as everyone else in my family, but my addiction of choice is overeating. It does release endorphins, you know!

The other thing, being patient for weight loss...it is aggravatingly slow, isn't it? I am in my 50's and I just don't lose quickly like I used to. But, I do lots of visualizing: me as a tough, inconquerable bulldog, me in a little red dress, me in a nice swimsuit in Hawaii, all the sleeveless blouses I won't mind wearing during the hot summer, me living to be spry, old, red-hatted gal.

I keep emergency foods around that are satisfying so if I just can't hold on, I have something and an occasional overeating party does not end a diet. I guess it does slow it down a bit, but yeah, some days I just want to throw in the towel and go get the biggest banana split imaginable, or consume pizza until I can't eat anymore. I have learned to kick my butt out the door for a nice brisk walk or drive out to a friend's house for a chat rather than sit at the house and eat. Keeping the house relatively free of quick consumables is a good tactic as is going through a drive through and getting just one little thing I crave (I know they are bad, but I love french fries). A small concesssion sometimes keeps me from a total blow it. I think every person who maintains figures out some things that help them be successful and they stick with it. One thing I have learned that I never had when I was younger is persistence in the face of adversity, and dang, weight loss is adversity!

I love the scale in the car idea. My scale has not budged one ounce for a week and I am about to banish it! What a great idea!

So, hang in there. Do some nice things for yourself instead of food. I took a day off work today and worked in my garden all day; keeping really busy helps me to eat clean. And, it has been feeling like a long haul and I really needed a break from all that I do, which includes trying to lose weight! If you have a busy life, a diet can put you on the tilt side of overwhelmed. Be kind to yourself in other ways other than eating, have celebrations that don't revolve around food, buy something lovely to wear in your new size, rent chick flicks and watch them all day Saturday, make spicey ice-tea with zero calories (ice chai is delicious!) Let's see, what else...drag your sweety off for a sexy weekend. Call an old friend who you love but haven't talked to in a while, arrange a get together, a vacation, a girl's sleepover. Um...modify an old favorite recipe so it is still satisfying, but better for your diet. Go dancing! Go to a local harvest festival! Write love letters! I write my husband an occasional, steamy love letter; now that'll perk things up! Okay, well, I hope this has helped. I think I am gonna go write a love letter!
I just realized that this was for the U.K. thread, sorry for being a butt-inski. I was responding to this thread on the opening page!
Sheri

[pixiefalls]

Pudding oh my I used to down that stuff like there was no tomorrow! I stayed away from it for a long time before I could start having it in moderation. Lately to get away from comfort of food I read. It just gets me focused on other things and typically at night it relaxes me. I got right on to sleep shortly after.

[Spoz]

I totally agree that its hard to cope, the feelings seem to be everywhere and I'm still working on that myself. I do occasionally eat my feelings away but it's something I'm working on. I think you have to just live those feelings out, cry, scream if you have to - write it all down. Just let them get out there.