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huggamouse
10-05-2008, 01:59 AM
I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a similar moment (or, in my case, way of life)

I'm in college, and of all things that could happen to a big girl, I get the quintessential hot roommate. She's petite, she's got the tiniest waist known to man, and her butt is huge, so are her boobs. She can wear just about anything (except a button down shirt) Hmm, how do I describe her... New York from the Flava of Love would be a good idea. She looks almost exactly like her, and might have all of her clothes (And wears them well!). Guys fawn over her and ask her out and everything falls at her perfect feet.

Now, if she worked for that body of hers, I wouldn't feel so bad. But she doesn't lift a finger. In fact, she eats more than me on a binge! Every time her friends come over she cooks and eats. Not only that, but she'll have a full heavy meal (think beef stew so thick you could cut it with a knife) several times a day, not to mention breakfast, and sometimes she'll stop by the corner store for a pint of ice cream and a soda. If I did that I wouldn't be able to lift my own fork after a while. :(

But that's ok. She's not all bad. Sometimes she tries to cook for me. She says I need to put some meat on my bones. (LOL!!!!) fun times.

So, anyone else have a magically thin friend. I can't be the only one?


etherence
10-05-2008, 02:09 AM
I used to be that skinny girl. The one that you described. To a T. I was 5'2 and 110 pounds, clothes, sorority blah blah. I ate whatever, whenever and how ever much I wanted.

But then life happened, I was diagnosed with a mental illness, then came the meds, then came the pounds. All 70 of them. And they are still here.

I'm not saying this because I hope that for your friend. I'm just saying that life changes.

Aside from that when I gained my weight, I thought of myself as not worthy. I stopped taking care of myself, stopped wearing makeup, stopped going out. Turns out that a lot of my confidence unfortunatley was based on external things. What a wake up call.

I have slowly began to lose my weight. And yes, appearances are still important to me. But now I am rebuilding my confidence with lots of different things, aside from looks.

Hope this helps.

-R

KateRN
10-05-2008, 03:25 AM
i've def got the skinny friends! 3 of my best girlfriends are all in fantastic shape and super cute and smart on top of it all! i am sooooo tired of going out with them and having men just look *through* me at them, or pull me aside and say "hey, is your friend single??" while they scarf pizza down! i dunno about any of you - but i am very self conscious about eating in public. i worry about what people think when i am eating gross stuff. skinny girl eating pizza - guys say "wow! a girl who knows how to eat!" fat girl eating pizza - "put down the pizza and hit the gym!"
fact of life, i guess.


shannonmb
10-05-2008, 08:26 AM
I have a story, too! My mom is super skinny and really pretty. She gets looks wherever she goes. When I was in school (a long time ago), people used to say, "THAT's your mom?" As in, how'd she get such a fat daughter! :(

The older she gets, the more she has had to work on it, of course, but my point is this...

My mom has always been the "pretty, hot girl". Now she's in her mid/late 50's, and she's pretty much had every mid-life crisis there is (25 year old boyfriends, red sports car, plastic surgery). The woman does not know how to define herself, and no matter how good your genes, age happens. I actually feel sort of sorry for her, because she's never had to dig deeper to "find herself".

I personally think that we fat girls, when we are finally able to conquer this weight of ours, will find ourselves much more rounded as women and able to take a few gray hairs and wrinkles in stride, while the naturally thin beauties of this world will end up going to great lengths to keep what they got while we will be fulfilling ourselves in much deeper, more productive, and meaningful ways. ;)

Just a thought! :p

GatorgalstuckinGA
10-05-2008, 08:52 AM
I was always fat growing up. I had lots of skinny friends that had the bf etc. I never really dated until i was 25. By then, I figured who i was. Now look at me, I graduated college, am a veterinarian (the first doctor in my family), have a Wonderful husband who loves me...curves and all. I think being overweight with a supportive network of friends and family, helped me figure out who I WAS. Then i was able to meet the right guy. Yes your friend may have guys falling at her feet, but probably if you asked her, most of them just want her for her body and nothing else. Just remember god created you for who you are....start learning to accept your body and learn to love things about you. Once you start doing that, you will find the right one for you.

And may i add that at your height and current weight, you really aren't that overwt. When I started here i was your current weight but only 5'3". So embrce your curves...and love everything about yourself. Don't worry about the fact that you have to watch what you put in your mouth. Start enjoying life and try not to worry so much. College is the place to meet and have fun....ENJOY!!!!!!! enjoy it, i would love to be back in school with little worries but exams. (:
Good luck and hope that helps!

Skullarix
10-05-2008, 12:47 PM
Yep, my "thin" friends didn't have to work for it. Actually I find some of my thin friends have what I would call weird eating habits. Either won't eat for three days, and then have two bites of something and complain they have a stomach ache. Or they are as you have described, eat anything and everything when ever.

I on the other hand have to go to the gym, I have to sweat, I have to restrict... and I know not matter how much I lose, I'll never look as good... Then again, at 33 I don't even care anymore. Save me from being that 50 year old who is bitter, because she finds her life is wasted, and all her looks are gone now... The type of woman who takes it out on me because I'm still young-ish and I still have things to do.


KateRN~ *skinny girl eating pizza - guys say "wow! a girl who knows how to eat!" fat girl eating pizza - "put down the pizza and hit the gym!"* I know what you mean! Why is that?

Spoz
10-05-2008, 12:52 PM
You know I'm thankful that my friends can eat 10 cakes, not gain a single pound and all I have to do is look at them to gain. Why? Because regardless of my weight, I'm healthier and fitter than those thin friends. I also know in years to come when age hits them they will most likely start gaining rather quickly and be exactly where I am now, with more weight under their belts.

FreeSpirit
10-05-2008, 01:59 PM
You know, I could probably eat a whole bunch of fatty food and not gain weight right away. We all could, I'm sure. Just as long as we got back on track.

To be honest, I'd rather have gone through this journey than not. I've learned so much about how to nourish my body and I feel so much better eating this way than I ever did eating fatty foods, then starving myself or purging.

I don't really have any stories like yours, I just wanted to give my opinion.

futuresize6
10-06-2008, 12:45 AM
I'm 36 and I still go through this-we are members of a local swim club that my husband is on the board so I'm in the lime light, somewhat. The three closest friends I have are thin, thin, thin, naturally and truthfully-I'm not jealous of their figures because as my husband says "they have the bodies of ten year old boys". I know it sounds mean and I tell him that that is not nice but I do have to agree-not womanly bodies at all. does this sound mean? Not my intention at all. It does make me laugh when the BBQ comes out and they worry about every ounce, I don't want to live that way when I get to where I want to be. Healthy weight, healthy shape, shape of a woman, this is my goal-this is realistic for most in our situation. My goal is to drop 75-85 lbs by 6/1/09(or be pretty darn close). Maybe someone will think I'm too thin someday(how fab would that be???)

mikkos
10-06-2008, 01:29 PM
My sister-in-law is a size 2 and eats all the time and whatever she wants. Boo!

nelie
10-06-2008, 02:00 PM
My husband is 140 lbs and he can't eat what he wants but he can eat a lot more than I can. He also has some sort of self regulation that I don't have in terms of food.

Although I know this will sound crazy, but I enjoy the person I am now and the person I would like to be in the future. I think if I grew up eating whatever I wanted and not gaining, I think I would've continued to eat horribly and remained inactive. I love that I'm a fairly active person aspiring to even be more active. I take enjoyment in eating fairly healthy and it also just makes me feel good. So I've had to endure a lot due to my weight and it has been a struggle but I think overall I enjoy the person I am now versus the person I think I would've been if I hadn't had issues with my weight.

JulieJ08
10-06-2008, 02:05 PM
I'm 36 and I still go through this-we are members of a local swim club that my husband is on the board so I'm in the lime light, somewhat. The three closest friends I have are thin, thin, thin, naturally and truthfully-I'm not jealous of their figures because as my husband says "they have the bodies of ten year old boys". I know it sounds mean and I tell him that that is not nice but I do have to agree-not womanly bodies at all. does this sound mean? Not my intention at all. It does make me laugh when the BBQ comes out and they worry about every ounce, I don't want to live that way when I get to where I want to be. Healthy weight, healthy shape, shape of a woman, this is my goal-this is realistic for most in our situation. My goal is to drop 75-85 lbs by 6/1/09(or be pretty darn close). Maybe someone will think I'm too thin someday(how fab would that be???)

Doesn't sound like they're really all that naturally thin.

zeffryn
10-06-2008, 02:11 PM
I really enjoy the posters in this thread who appreciate their bodies and don't envy others. I've been seeing an awful lot of threads dedicated to how envious someone is about another person's body lately.

Hating ourselves is what got a lot of us in this position in the first place and if we cannot find things to love about our bodies at our current weights, what makes us think we'll just automatically love our bodies at our goal weights?

This kind of thinking won't just go away when we lose a specific amount of weight.

I think instead of being envious of all of our thin friends (which leads to resentment and possibly the dissolution of the friendship), we need to learn to love ourselves - regardless of our body type and strive to be healthy and fit....not because we want to beat our friends in the weight game, but because we want to live the healthiest life possible.

Amy8888
10-06-2008, 05:36 PM
Yes, I have skinny friends. I spent a lot of my youth distrustful of skinny girls, and now I regret that. I assumed they were judging me for my size, but the fact is that I was judging them, and probably more harshly. Just a word of advice, don't let preconceptions get in the way of a great friendship!

junebug41
10-06-2008, 05:52 PM
I do have friends of the "skinny hot" variety and on my better days I'll throw myself in that category ;)

I've had a few friends that have been that way since high school, but they've always had to work at it, but I didn't realize it until much later. Maybe it came easier to them when they had the metabolisms of 18 year olds, but I've learned that they work just as hard as I do to maintain it.

However, I've always been a little envious of people who naturally control their appetites. I don't think it will ever "come naturally" to me, but so it is...

Amy, that's great advice :)

Noodle
10-06-2008, 07:14 PM
The horror of skinny and gorgeous friends! I know how you feel. My friends are gorgeous. Great hair, great shoes, great bodies. And like your roommate they do nothing for their bodies. Whats worse than the large amounts of food they can consume and not put on a pound is when they complain about being fat... All I can do at that moment is just stare in disbelief. If that wasn't all these girls are also fantastically intelligent. At times like this makes a person a little sad.

Now being a university student the swarm of beautiful skinny girls does not get any smaller. It seems everyone is skinny but me.

However thankfully I have a great boyfriend, who loves me as I am. He is gorgeous. I'm surprised he is with me. But then life turns its ugly head - I feel in love with an exchange student and now he is back home in the Netherlands while I am here in New Zealand :(

However I am looking at the bright side of life (sometimes). I can be skinny, I just need to be determined. And at the end of the day I have all I need: Love :)

Starrynight
10-06-2008, 08:40 PM
Oh man I felt like that all throughout high school. I had a bunch of skinny friends.. In high school I used to wish I had that, but once I started losing those feelings went away. I currently have a roommate who isn't just naturally thin, she has a very athletic build. When I saw her I thought she played a sport (I assumed basketball for her height and arms) but she told me she can't even run up the stairs without huffing and puffing from her asthma that kicks in when she runs. She's never played sports outside of school and she eats some of the worst, processed foods for you (tv dinners, top ramen, super-sweet kid cereal).
So while you could say that it's unfair that she could have those type of genes and not care, her metabolism will reverse when she's older. She's a great roommate but it's funny because I worked out today for an hour and she was shocked that anyone could commit to that. There's plenty of positives about working hard to achieve a goal rather than being born with it (kinda like, the children of rich parents vs. those at the bottom that have to work your way up).
And even then, I've always been in good health despite being overweight but I've known plenty of really thin girls with many health issues, so I'm thankful that I've only just been fat, it's something you can work at.
Honestly, a healthy journey into weight-loss is a great experience because it goes beyond the physical, you become more in tune with your body and really learn to take care of it.
It just goes to show when a thin person actually admires you for dedication to becoming healthier.
That was long, I hope I got what I was trying to say across..

peachcake
10-07-2008, 11:41 AM
There is so much I agree with that many of you have said. My best friend is 5'2 and about 120 but she is flabby. Her stomach is pretty flat in front but she has serious love handles and flabby thighs. Now I'm not saying I'm ANY better, but my body is firmer, she can't even use the weight machines at the gym WITHOUT any weight, they are still too heavy for her. I am glad to be healthier. Her Mom was just like her when she was young and now her Mom is a really big woman. It's likely that she will baloon up when all the crud she eats catches up with her. She says things to me like "Well, at least you're pretty" (as in, you're fat) but I don't care because to be honest she has a smaller body but she's not that pretty... I love her but her nose is really long and she has NO chin. She thinks she has to flaunt her body to get guys to look at her and she's also very shallow and goes around saying "At least I'm pretty!" when she does something dumb. She's no always like this but she has her moments.

Anyway, as many of you, I'd rather be doing this now than 10 years from now.

zeffryn
10-07-2008, 12:50 PM
There is so much I agree with that many of you have said. My best friend is 5'2 and about 120 but she is flabby. Her stomach is pretty flat in front but she has serious love handles and flabby thighs. Now I'm not saying I'm ANY better, but my body is firmer, she can't even use the weight machines at the gym WITHOUT any weight, they are still too heavy for her. I am glad to be healthier. Her Mom was just like her when she was young and now her Mom is a really big woman. It's likely that she will baloon up when all the crud she eats catches up with her. She says things to me like "Well, at least you're pretty" (as in, you're fat) but I don't care because to be honest she has a smaller body but she's not that pretty... I love her but her nose is really long and she has NO chin. She thinks she has to flaunt her body to get guys to look at her and she's also very shallow and goes around saying "At least I'm pretty!" when she does something dumb. She's no always like this but she has her moments.

Anyway, as many of you, I'd rather be doing this now than 10 years from now.

I hope your friend doesn't ever read this.

What horrible things to say about someone you consider your best friend.

ETA: I know me saying this comes off as really harsh. I just wonder if you say these types of things to your friend's face, and if not, why you would choose to publish them on a website. It seems there is a lot of bitterness and resentment...

yoyonomoreinvegas
10-07-2008, 12:52 PM
I have a story, too! My mom is super skinny and really pretty. She gets looks wherever she goes. When I was in school (a long time ago), people used to say, "THAT's your mom?" As in, how'd she get such a fat daughter! :(

The older she gets, the more she has had to work on it, of course, but my point is this...

My mom has always been the "pretty, hot girl". Now she's in her mid/late 50's, and she's pretty much had every mid-life crisis there is (25 year old boyfriends, red sports car, plastic surgery). The woman does not know how to define herself, and no matter how good your genes, age happens. I actually feel sort of sorry for her, because she's never had to dig deeper to "find herself".

I personally think that we fat girls, when we are finally able to conquer this weight of ours, will find ourselves much more rounded as women and able to take a few gray hairs and wrinkles in stride, while the naturally thin beauties of this world will end up going to great lengths to keep what they got while we will be fulfilling ourselves in much deeper, more productive, and meaningful ways. ;)
Just a thought! :p


Perfectly put burhenns!! I'm around the same age as your mom and know so many women just like her. Some of them are so sadly lost because they are experiencing their greatest fear - turning into what I used to be - and they have no clue how to tackle it. Quite honestly, some of them are actually starting envy me now because I'm not scared of a few wrinkles and I welcome every new gray hair. Granted, a year ago I was miserably depressed over my weight but after a zillion years of figuring out what didn't work, I finally hit on something that does. All my past experiences, frustrations, and disappointments have actually made me a stronger, more confident person and it shows. (oww, sprained my arm patting myself on the back :o )

So huggamouse, I know it's not going to sound like much consolation right now, but take a little motherly advice from the voice of experience - try not to waste your valuable time envying other people. Focus on being the best, healthiest person you can and I betcha, if you run into that *perfect* roommate in 30 years, she's going to be the one heading into her AARP years wondering what the **** happened; while you are the strong and confident one cooking the healthy meals for your family, taking continuing education classes, and having everyone flocking at your feet to hear your entertaining stories about all your experiences in life. :hug:

peachcake
10-07-2008, 04:57 PM
I hope your friend doesn't ever read this.

What horrible things to say about someone you consider your best friend.

ETA: I know me saying this comes off as really harsh. I just wonder if you say these types of things to your friend's face, and if not, why you would choose to publish them on a website. It seems there is a lot of bitterness and resentment...


While I appreciate the psych evaluation, I really don't think it was necessary. My relationship with her is my own and I was pointing out how she see's herself as opposed to how other people see her. But thanks.

Nichole28
10-07-2008, 06:19 PM
I was always the "fat" girl out of all of my friends. I was far from fat but next to my STICK thin friends I looked like a cow. My cousin was one of the girls I used to hang out with in highschool she is only 6 months younger than me. She is so skinny a strong wind could blow her over. She is pg with her 1st child and due like any minute has gained a total of 50lbs and you see her and are like WHERE? How is that fair lol, most people who gain 50lbs you can sooo tell, nope not her. Is it ok to hate your own cousin HAHA.

GatorgalstuckinGA
10-07-2008, 08:13 PM
i do wish more people on this website would stop downgrading themselves by calling them selves fat or cow or pig...etc. Accept your curves. Love life and all it has given you. That negative view point of yourself does nothing to help you. Start learning to love yourself...curves and all. Find at least one thing a day you love about yourself. Stop looking at others and wanting to be like them. Skinny people can be just as miserable as an overwt person. If you can't start loving yourself..not matter what weight..you will never be happy. Being thin will never change things if you don't start learning to love things about yourself. So please, stop calling yourself bad names and start learning to embrace life and not worry so much about weight issues. Yes i think everyone should be trying to be healthier but don't get yourself so stressed about every little pound that your life is consumed by it. Start finding the good things about you and you'll be amazed at what life will bring you.

futuresize6
10-07-2008, 08:20 PM
Attagirl!!;)