20-Somethings - What do you do...

View Full Version : What do you do...

10-03-2008, 12:32 PM
When you see a member that's possibly hurting themselves, but you've never talked to them before?

Do you say something?

Keep your mouth shut?

I really don't know...

Here we go again
10-03-2008, 12:43 PM
I'm confused. Do you mean someone on this site or did you mean someone in your life?

10-03-2008, 12:47 PM
On the site.

Here we go again
10-03-2008, 12:54 PM
If I have concerns about someone on here, I tell them. But since I don't know them outside of here, I can only say so much. I don't get offended it if they don't take it. I just hope that most people have friends and family in their life that would help them if they needed it.

10-03-2008, 12:57 PM
I would try to mention it kindly. I would let that person know that it's out of genuine concern and offer to email privately if they prefer. It's so easy to offend people, especially in black and white print, but I do believe that you can take the time to let the person know that you care and will be there for them if they are interested.

10-03-2008, 01:01 PM
Honestly, you can state your concern in a supportive way, but beyond that there just isn't much you can do. It's a fine line for me, though because I see someone who is posting about very unhealthy habits and I worry about all the people who read those posts (especially young women) who don't see it as unhealthy, but effective. All I feel I can do is point out that I disagree and offer support in the hopes that not only the poster sees it, but whoever is lurking sees it, too.

I think in extreme circumstances (at least at other boards I've been on) an admin can contact the ISP, but as I said it's a very intrusive and extreme measure. Beyond that, if mods or admins are concerned enough about whoever is reading them they can delete the posts altogether. I know that has happened at 3FC because they do not support unhealthy or dangerous habits and that's very important to them.

10-03-2008, 01:02 PM
Maybe letting an administrator know about it so they can review it?

10-03-2008, 01:06 PM
I'm just worried that it's not my place, you know? I don't want anyone to get in trouble but I don't like the feeling that I'm sitting back and watching somebody hurt themselves. URGH.

Thanks, ladies.

10-03-2008, 01:14 PM
It depends. If we're talking about someone who is obviously starving, yeah, I've said things. If we're talking about someone who eats a lot of junk because they think it's healthy, I usually let it go. But as the others said, being that most of us don't know each other IRL there is only so much you can do (guess in reality there is only so much you can do with those you know IRL too).

10-03-2008, 01:19 PM
I think the primary goal of 3FC is to support healthy weight loss with strong emphasis on the healthy.

I've actually seen it happen several times where someone will post something that doesn't sound at all good for them and other members quickly jump in and gently (or occasionally not so gently - depending on the tone of the OP ;) ) try to steer them in a more healthy direction.

We're all here to get support and we all try to give an equal amount of support in return. If you are genuinely concerned for someone, and make sure the tone of your reply reflects that concern, you certainly have the right to let them know. If they joined 3FC, they probably have a least a little suspicion that something isn't quite right with the way they've been doing things anyway. Just be careful not to sound too judgemental - maybe start your sentences with something like "From everything I've read" or even "when I was doing that, this is what happened". I know I wouldn't want to ignore a possible cry for help, but I wouldn't want to alienate someone I might be able to help with a little patience either.

10-03-2008, 01:52 PM
yep id voice my convern....