20-Somethings - Frustrated... Not Diet-Related




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hborden
10-02-2008, 09:36 PM
I feel like sometimes I'm not happy unless I'm making myself miserable in romantic relationships. Right now I have a two friends, one I am head over heels for. I've never told him, because he has apparently told other people that we are just good friends. Everyone that sees us together tells us how perfect we are for each other. He just gets me in every way. Then I have another friend who basically made it known that he likes me, and would like to date. Except, the huge problem, he is still in a relationship. He wasn't trying to cheat or anything like that. She won't break up with him or let him with her. In any case why do I always put myself in these predicaments? I mean I have gone on dates with sweet guys, but they are all so serious and commitment ready. I just don't know why I keep doing this! Any advice?? :(:(


rachiebach
10-02-2008, 10:30 PM
Sadly no advice. Not good with relationships myself =) I always want the guys who don't want me and want nothing to do with the guys who do want me. But in all fairness the guys who do want me are not guys anyone would really want (straight out of jail, homeless, kinda crazy, etc-I'm a freak magnet). But yeah, just hugs and hope it all works out for you!

hborden
10-02-2008, 10:55 PM
Thanks Rachie, it sounds like you and I are drawing for the same crowd of guys. I just don't know why its all so complicated.


sh3l5
10-03-2008, 02:05 AM
if the other guy only wants friendship from you wheres the harm?....

ChileanChick
10-03-2008, 09:33 AM
Mmm I´m horrible at relationships too!
I always like the evil one LOL, the one, who treats me badly, who never calls, who´s in a relationship etc etc, and the nice guys, the ones who call, etc etc I just want them as friends. I think (after talking it with my psicologist) it´s bcause as the bad one treates me badly I think he´s more than me and I try to get him, yeah, horrible way to think (damn subconscius) and as the other one is nice he´s not good enough.. like "if he values me, he must be such a disaster". I don´t know if Ive explained it clearly, but anyway, right now if I like a guy I try to go for the total opposite LOL..

Here we go again
10-03-2008, 10:52 AM
HB- those are my intials. Oh, sorry. Anyways, the guy that is in a relationship, make it clear you are just friends. You never want to get involved with someone who is in a relationship, it's messy and you deserve better. Maybe the guy you really like has backed off b/c he knows this other friend like you. How many times have you or me or any girl have said "we're really good friends" knowing that you really like him. I don't think guys are that different. Maybe he's afraid of becoming more than friends b/c he's not sure how you feel or afraid of messing up your friendship. When the time is right it will all come out. I don't know if I'm making sense... it's just my thought.

hborden
10-03-2008, 08:18 PM
Chilean Chick, that sounds about what it is for me. It's not that I like the bad ones, though. For me its more I like the distance ones, but they don't like me. I attract the clingy I need to know where you are at every minute guys.

Here we go again, I know exactly what you are saying, and I have made it clear. I told him that I was not that kind of girl (the other woman type) and that he shouldn't ask me to be. He was very clear that, that is the way he likes it and he would never ask me to be that girl. As far as my other friend goes, I would love for that to be true. You know those guys though that has a gazillion girls as friends, is totally straight, and doesn't date any of them? Yeah thats him, and I've met these girls and they are sweet and nice and pretty so I guess I don't know. But I do keep telling myself that all things will work out in the end.

bargoo
10-03-2008, 10:52 PM
. She won't break up with him or let him with her. :(:( Does she have him bound in chains , locked up in a dungeon ?
Either one can leave the relationship, you do not need permission from the other party to break up.

hborden
10-04-2008, 05:06 PM
Well it's more like, she seems unstable and threats to harm herself. He doesn't want that to happen, or to be on his conscience so... yeah. I know super complicated.

zenor77
10-04-2008, 05:14 PM
I mean I have gone on dates with sweet guys, but they are all so serious and commitment ready.

From this statement I'm assuming you are not ready for a serious commitment. This is why you are doing this to yourself. If you aren't ready for the real thing, then you'll subconsciously put yourself in these situations.

I did the same thing until I was ready for a committed relationship. I'm watching my best friend do the same thing. Just work on being happy without a man and when you are ready the right one will come along.

hborden
04-30-2009, 01:47 PM
I've been gone for a long time. A brief update, more for myself than anything. But the guy who was in a relationship finally dumped her and we just celebrated our 6 month anniversary. So it's wonderful! As for the other guy, he is also in a relationship but I told him about my feelings in a side conversation one day and he was shocked because he said he never knew. I think its good I never made a move or I wouldn't have the wonderful man that I love so much now.

SweetScrumptious
04-30-2009, 04:53 PM
Congrats on the update!

Glad everything worked out for you