For some reason it's really hard for me to get back on track once I've cheated on my diet. Even just one day off of it and it's like "Oh well might as well binge again today!" Anyone else have the same problem? Man it's hard.. lol
Even just one day off of it and it's like "Oh well might as well binge again today!"
To quote kaplods: If you trip on the top step, do you then throw yourself down the whole staircase? Or do you regain your balance and walk down the rest of the stairs?
The other thing is that if it's so hard for you to stay on plan - that you cheat 2x in the first week, maybe it's time for you to rethink your plan? It might not be one that is sustainable for you, long term.
Here's my philosophy about "diets" - taken from a post I made here and copied onto my blog about a week ago:
Quote:
A “diet” is something that you start at stop. It’s something that you can “cheat” on and “slip up” on. It’s something that is restrictive.
I don’t diet.
I eat for life. And in my life there are going to be french fries. There are going to be dinners at the Mexican restaurant with chips and queso. There are going to be birthday cakes. There are going to be office events with bagels and donuts and muffins. That’s life.
So when you eat for life, you make choices - and some days you make the *choice* to eat something that you know is fattening or not healthy. I made the choice last Saturday to eat a 5 Guys burger and split an order of fries. It put me 400 calories over for the day, by the time I had that for lunch and then ate a healthy dinner. But I made that choice. I didn’t then say “well, since I had 5 Guys, I’m gonna walk across the street and have a large Cold Stone ice cream” or go home and say “since I already blew it with a burger and fries, I’m gonna eat this entire bag of potato chips”.
What I did say was “I made a choice to treat myself with something I wouldn’t normally eat and now I’m going to continue to eat healthily.”
And because I know I can have a burger once in a while I’m ok. It’s become a once in a while treat and so when I choose to have one, I have a good one - not a half-squashed McDonalds one.
Not that I’m perfect. Lord knows there are plenty of times that someone puts food in front of me and I eat it mindlessly - and then think “why did I eat that?” But even then I think “ok, well, that was that. I hope I enjoyed it!” And I move on.
Does this mean I haven’t lost weight as fast as I could? Yup. It’s even made me stall a few times. I could be really strict with myself and be miserable and eventually give up because I was forbidding myself and beating myself up.
It’s taken me nearly 18 months to lose 70+ lbs. It’ll probably take me another 6-8 months to lose the remaining 30. But you know what - I won’t be miserable and I won’t be setting myself up for failure.
I'll just be living my life.
Hope that helps you some.
Last edited by PhotoChick; 09-30-2008 at 05:14 PM.
You ARE going to slip up every once in a while, unfortionatly that's life. I do understand what you mean about the "Oh I've already screwed up this week I might as well binge today" thing... I have felt that feeling before, but you have to try to talk yourself out of that state of mind.
I'm trying to get myself back on track, too, after a couple of weeks of less than healthy living. Yes, it is hard! I think for me, it's that I get comfortable with my old habits and trying to regain that discipline takes some extra effort. Try to remember your goals and what is most important to you, the food or the health/weight loss. I found that if I give myself a couple days to work back into the healthy habits gradually it allows me a little wiggle room and I don't have that "all or nothing" mentality.
The only thing I'm limiting is my calories to under 1650 each day. I've been on totally restricted starvation diets before and all I did was gain 80 lbs back once I stopped "dieting". I let myself have hamburgers and junk food now even on the "diet". I just don't seem to have self control once I even slip a tiny bit.. it's weird. Hopefully you guys will continue to help me to get outta that way of thinking! Because it just doesn't make sense, lol!
There are a lot of diet "rules" and tradition that we absorb as fact, without even realizing it. I really had to rethink alot of what I thought I know about weight loss.
I've always expected myself to be perfect from the start, and have seen any slip as the beginning of the end for me. I don't know were I learned this, but it seems to be a common pattern, so I don't think I invented it - but I did have to unlearn it, to get where I am now.
I realized that weight loss is one of the few skills (the only one I can think of at the moment) in which perfection is expected immediately.
If you were learning to do anything else, would you expect to be great at it, from the start? Or would you tolerate mistakes, and expect to learn to make fewer and fewer mistakes as you learn?
I've learned that healthy eating and exercise, are skills, just like any other, and there's not only a learning curve involved, there's adjustment to new habits (or rather behaviors that aren't habits yet), and to new ways of thinking, and doing.
Change is hard, no matter what the change. And our "default" patterns are the habits we've had the longest. When we're sick, depressed, stressed, or just not paying attention, the default pattern will dominate.
I'm only finally reaching a point, where some of my new ways of thinking and acting have become true habits - requiring little or no conscious thought. I'm not trusting any of them yet, so I'm really working at making every choice a conscious one (not succeeding 100% of the time, but succeeding more than failing).
I think that's truly the only secret to success, succeeding more than failing. Sometimes it is two step forwards and one step back - heck, sometimes it's 20 steps forward and 19 steps back, but as long as I'm making progress there's no reason to give up. Heck as long as I'm not backsliding, there's no reason to give up (because I know from experience that giving up always means backsliding).
It is hard, but keep on keepin' on, and you'll be ok.
What I did say was “I made a choice to treat myself with something I wouldn’t normally eat and now I’m going to continue to eat healthily.”
Oh, I like the way you put that. Not "I had a treat, now I'm going to be extra strict." Or even "Now I'm going back on my plan." Just ... "continue on." Nice.
I let myself have hamburgers and junk food now even on the "diet".
I had a light bulb moment coming home from the gym today that I'm going to post and blog about later. But it kind of relates to what I quoted above ... so I'm going to comment on that first!
Something I think you'll find as you go on is that it's harder to eat within your calories range when you allow yourself LOTS of unhealthy foods. Unhealthy foods are often satisfying for the moment, but don't provide you nutrition to keep you feeling satiated for the long haul.
I do think that as you begin restricting calories you have to take little steps - you can't just ditch all of your favorite foods right away and expect to feel happy about it or satisfied. But as you continue, you'll realize that it's important for the MAJORITY of your 1650 calories to be healthy foods and for the things like hamburgers and junk foods and so forth to be an occasional treat, rather than a regular part of your diet. I think applying the 80/20 rule to your diet is a good thing.
And ... there are plenty of ways to make some of your favorite junk foods, but to make them healthy. I have pizza all the time - I make a homemade crust, use fresh diced tomatoes, lots of fresh veggies, marinated artichoke hearts, chiffonaded spinach and basil, and low fat mozzerella ... and it's a reasonable number of calories, healthy, and totally satisfies my urge for pizza. I have burgers all the time - I mix 1/2 and 1/2 ground turkey and ground beef, have the pattie open-faced on a 1/2 a whole grain bun, and top with tomatoes, lettuce, dijon mustard, and really enjoy it. Well within my calories, healthy, etc.
But I also don't deprive myself of really junky hamburgers and fries. The last time I had one was weekend before last. And because I made it a good one - a really yummy, decadent one - I don't really want another. I probably won't have another one until next weekend or even after that.
So while I agree that you should allow yourself treats and not beat yourself up, you do need to be careful that your entire diet is not "treats" - you don't want to miss out on good solid nutrition.
But it is something that will come as you go along. As kaplods says, it's a learned skill and not something that you should be expected to develop overnight.
Thanks. Your comments are all re-motivating.. lol..
When I'm watching calories I do make fruit smoothies every day and my dinners almost always consist of veggies of every color and sweet potatoes and healthy stuff like that. There aren't many days that I eat junk but I still allow it in a few times a week or I go loony.
This time what caused me to slip is my brother was coming over for dinner so I made this really great lasagna... big mistake! The night ended with me pigging out on a tub of candy corn that was half price too. At least I told him to take the rest of the lasagna home.. can't believe I only ate one piece... it was probably 900 calories on it's own though. Still was really hard to send my favorite dish away. I still don't understand why a tiny slip makes me feel like I might as well binge the rest of the day.
Tomorrow's a new day! As a matter of fact, I'll start over right now! Just continue on!
Okay, this is going to be long winded but I've been dealing with this problem for a long time, and I want to share what I've learned from all my ups and downs (mentally and on the scale) so you won't have the same problem!
One big thing is to change the way you think about food. Use chocolate as an example. Youre on this weight loss diet chocolate has become a 'bad' food. And bad things are indulgent - like spending too much money on a purse you love or calling in sick to work because your tired and want to lie around. So now that chocolate is a way to indulge yourself, so when you feel bad you can eat it and it feels good just because its bad!
What you want to aim for is a healthy overall lifestyle. What helps for me is to think of my progress on a week-by-week basis instead of day by day. If its someone's birthday and I just can't resist a piece of cake, it's okay because I know that if I work a little harder and stay consistent with my goal, i will still succeed. If you judge your success day by day it's very easy to go "oh I ate this cake, I'm over todays calories anyway, so I'm going to go have cheeseburger!" Try instead to frame it like "Well I ate an extra 500 calories today than I should have, but if I work out a little longer the next two days I'll still lose weight this week" This way it's not a total failure.
I hate using words like 'good' 'bad' or 'cheat'. Because there are going to be days when you want to be bad or you dont care about being good or you'll cheat and get frustrated. You are human, things will happen! The most important thing is that you realize this isn't just a journey to a specific goal (weight) this is a way of living.
SandiSweets, just a suggestion to think about. I think that perhaps in your mind, a "slip" is a free pass to eat anything and everything you want. It's not mysterious, it's how you want it to work! Otherwise, you probably wouldn't do it. Alcohol works the same way with an alcoholic--the person has one drink, then another, and the next thing you know...
So, what I'm getting at is that you might have something much like an addictive process going here, and you may find that you really need to stay on plan strictly for a few weeks to break it. That would mean that you have to be willing not to eat those junk foods for awhile.
PhotoChick, what do you mean by "really junky" hamburger and fries? Just curious.
PhotoChick, what do you mean by "really junky" hamburger and fries? Just curious.
Ever eaten at 5 Guys?
Ok, in all seriousness, when I fix a burger at home, as I said above, I mix 1/2 ground turkey and 1/2 very lean ground beef. I grill it. I serve it open faced over 1/2 of a whole grain bun. I pile on the veggies. I only put mustard on it. It's actually a pretty healthy meal and it still satisfies my "burger" crave.
When I go to 5 Guys, I eat a 100% pure beef burger, fried on a griddle, with cheese, served on a white bun, with mayo and mustard. It's not a McD's smushed craptastic burger. It's a really good, yummy, greasy-dive type burger. Truly junk food. Maybe the equivalent on the West Coast would be an In-N-Out burger, animal style (which I indulge in when I go to Vegas every year). A junk food burger worth the expenditure of calories.
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Last edited by PhotoChick; 09-30-2008 at 08:38 PM.
Only a week into it and I've cheated twice!
As kaplods says, it's a learned skill and not something that you should be expected to develop overnight.
