20-Somethings - Being the only sober person on a night out sucks...

09-20-2008, 01:22 PM
Ugh. Last night I went to this bar with one of my housemates, a mutual friend, and a few of her friends and basically I said I wasn't drinking. I ended up having a glass of wine at the beginning of the night and a beer when we got to the bar (which isn't nearly enough to put me anywhere close to "buzzed") and then had nothing else the rest of the night.

And everyone else got plastered and I discovered how much I despise being the only sober person at a bar/club. The bar wasn't bad, but I was ready to go home by 12:30 and then we moved into the adjoining club and a) I hate almost all club music and b) I'm self-conscious and don't dance unless severely intoxicated. It was painful...haha. And then of course the drunk guys start trying to dance with you and that makes me so uncomfortable...especially when I'm sober. I just wanted to get the **** out of there, but of course everyone else is drunk and/or trying to hook up with people and didn't want to leave. It was torturous.

And that's my rant. Haha. I just need to get that off my chest. :)

09-20-2008, 01:39 PM
And today you remember where you were and what you did. And you didn't crack up your car while driving drunk, perhaps injuring other people. Being sober isn't all that bad, saves you from a lot of problems.

09-20-2008, 01:41 PM
at least you dont get the drink binges....
or like the others say the embarassment of what you done the night before....
i cant remember the last time i went out drinking....
its too much of a bad thing for me....

09-20-2008, 02:00 PM
I know it sucked at the time, but aren't you proud now? You should be! Small calories, no bad decisions, nothing you regret right?

09-20-2008, 02:28 PM
I know it sucked at the time, but aren't you proud now? You should be! Small calories, no bad decisions, nothing you regret right?

That's very true. I have no regrets this morning...I didn't even go over my calorie allowance for the day, I stayed under it! And I feel perfectly fine (not even tired) so I can go to the gym in a little bit and get a good workout in.

i just wish I had enjoyed myself more. I mean, I still want to be able to go out with my friends and stuff...I just don't want to get drunk (or to very rarely do so. I think I'm still responsible enough when I've been drinking...I'd never drive or anything like that.. My biggest problem is my incessant text messaging of people, haha). The part that sucked wasn't the lack of alcohol, it was feeling like the uptight, unfun person in a room where everyone else was letting lose. I just kept wanting to leave.

09-20-2008, 03:14 PM
Just a very weird perspective from a very weird person no longer in their 20's. When I was in my 20's - I was the very odd one in my group of friends because I had such a low tolerance for alcohol, and anything more than one drink made me sleepy and tired, and ready to go home. Not that I don't understand your feelings of being theuptight, unfun person in a room where everyone else was letting loose. That was exactly me, because I hated going out, and felt like the biggest wet blanket, because I was ready to go home 30 minutes into any evening out. Then I tried not drinking at all when we went out (or having the one at the beginning of the evening, and that's it), and I had the exact opposite reaction as yours.

Of course, I've always been extremely outgoing, so I never found that alcohol reduced my inhibitions. I found it incredibly funny that friends would tell me about all of the crazy things "we" or I did the night before, as if I wouldn't remember it, because they didn't notice that my rum and diet coke, was diet coke most of the evening.

I don't know if I'm just wired differently than most people, and it's just a biological intolerance to alcohol, or whether I just never developed enough of a taste for it and therefore never developed much tolerance to it. But I did learn that "letting loose," doesn't have to have anything to do with your blood alcohol level. I think anyone can learn it, but it takes a shift in thinking.

Cats tongue
09-20-2008, 03:24 PM
I have to say sometimes being the sober one can be a bummer.

But I think it's even worse being the most drunk. I find it way more embarrassing than being super sober when you're out with friends.

I guess that was me for a bit last night. But I realized how bad I was and I left the party (it was a "house party" in another room in my dorm). I don't like that I did it, and I regret it.

09-20-2008, 03:33 PM
I think it's a sign of just how empty the night was. I mean, it pretty much offered nothing, right, except getting plastered. I don't mean that to be judgmental, just offering another perspective. You have the right to company or entertainment that actually, you know, offers something.

09-20-2008, 03:43 PM
All I have to say is I've just sobered up, ate two pancakes, several bowls of cereal, several bowls of soup, and so much other snack like junk that it doesnt bare thinking about. You should be glad you can have a clear mind and not undo several weeks of work and feel like an idiot the next day :)

09-20-2008, 05:39 PM
Honestly, that's why I just stopped going to the bars. With out drinking they just aren't fun to me anymore.

09-20-2008, 05:57 PM
I quit drinking when I turned 30 because I realized that it was doing my self-concept so much damage. I was never able to drink responsibly and I got tired of all of the regrets and embarassment that my drinking caused. So, although you were uncomfortable, you did not humiliate yourself, hurt yourself or others or expose yourself to heaven knows what other hazards.
I am so grateful I made it out my twenties in one piece! So, maybe you have reached a turning point.

I found other ways to be social, other than drinking and the bars. Usually they include something that is much more meaningful and uplifting to me, too. Volunteer organizations, political affiliations, church involvement and clubs and groups are what I turned to after I quit drinking and my friendships changed, too. I quit meeting guys who were on the prowl and met a wonderful man who loves the arts and outdoor sports. My friends wanted to go do wonderful things like travel, save endangered species and learn about culture and languages. It wasn't easy and it took a few traumatic experiences to get me to understand that that type of a social life was not good for me, but I am happy now. I don't know, for me, often when I start feeling a lot of discomfort about something I have been doing it is an indication that I am growing and changing and sometimes change is hard.

09-20-2008, 07:20 PM
I've always kinda liked being the only sober person in the bunch. It's fun to see what idiots people turn into when they drink. Then again, I'm generally ready to go home by 12:30 too. ;) It's only entertaining for so long.

09-21-2008, 01:24 AM
ARGHHH yes, it does! I can totally relate. One night shortly after I turned 18 I was planning to go to a club with my friends to celebrate (in OH you can get into most clubs at 18). They were all hanging out together at one friend's house but I had to finish up some work before I could meet up with them. Well while I'm still at home working and such, my sister (who was going with us to the club) calls me up and is like "So, you can drive tonight to the club tonight, right?" My initial reaction is Um, no, I've never been there, it's 45 minutes away, and we all know that I am awful with directions! so I pretty much tell her this, but I figure there must be some kind of complication - maybe no one else's cars are available, or they don't have enough gas, or whatever - because why would they ask me to drive if it wasn't a last resort? So I tell her that it's really not a good idea for me to drive, if absolutely no one else can drive, I guess I could, then hang up and think nothing much of it.

A couple hours later I finally get to my friend's house and notice all my friends acting a little strange...Then I see the giant bottles of cranberry juice, orange juice, Gatorade etc just hanging out on her dresser. Keep in mind that not a single one of these people was legal to drink, and at that point I was extremely anti-drinking and my friends, being my FRIENDS and all, were well aware of this fact. They basically were trying to hide the fact that they'd all been drinking for a few hours (way NOT to hide the mixers, dumba**es!) and had called me only to make sure that they'd have a "designated driver" for the evening. OOOO, I was so :censored: pissed off at them for that! Of course I wouldn't have wanted to join in with their drinking anyways, but imagine me driving for 45 mins with a clenched jaw, listening to them drunk dialing people and generally being loud and obnoxious (in that special way which is ONLY fun when you're tipsy) while I'm 100% sober. And the whole point of the outing was supposed to be to celebrate MY birthday! AND only one person out of 5 or so (an insanely sweet male friend of mine) even bothered to apologize or even acknowledge that what they did was totally shady and inconsiderate. Basically one of THE worst nights of my life.

LOL I guess somehow this turned into a vent for me (somehow I always end up telling my own story :rolleyes:) BUT I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, being the only sober person on a night out DOES indeed suck. You are not alone in this sentiment! Haha.

Iconised Ghost
09-21-2008, 01:39 AM
I agree it sucks. What's worse is when you are the only sober, non stoned person as well. Drunk people i can cope with, stoned people i cope with, but drunk stoned people are the worst -___-

09-21-2008, 04:06 AM
if a persons too drunk their personalities change....
some of these changes i dont like in people i see getting drunk....
so i just leave to avoid the state of them....