100 lb. Club - OT--new response to frustration(coping skils)




mrs dorson
08-25-2008, 08:22 PM
this doesnt have a thing to do with weight loss.

or does it?:?:


i am not sure yet. i do know i approached things differently in response to a yucky situation. it wasnt scary or painful or BIG in respect to what life brings.

at work, we JUST (last night the first night) changed teams. which means who we report to, where we sit, what hours we work, breaks....potentially everything.:dizzy:

my days off changed and who i report to and where i sit. all that doesnt really matter in this story. the time i leave work does. i work in a call center. i was getting off at 10 pm. at 10pm, i clocked out.


even if people were waiting.:o

now i get off at 10:15 (or when the last person waiting is off the phone).

i left work at 11 pm. :mad:after a 45 min phone call with a man who spoke another language and a interpreter. the call should have ended after 5 min. he asked the same 5 questions over and over and over. the interpreter had to interupt the translation 4 times (which they never do) to reclarify the SAME info we had gone over before. the problem was not the language barrier; i get those calls all the time. he wanted me to make a change on his account that i was not able to do and would not take no for a answer.:nono:

the frustration was not due to just that. :mad:my husband is incarcerated and we talk eveynight even if it is for just 5 min. yes, i am home safe, you are there safe, i love :love:and miss you. see you tomorrow or talk t you then.

we havent missed a nightly call for months and probably closer to 2 years. we didnt get to talk last night. i cried and i knew (and confirmed this morning) he worried.:cry:

and yes, i know that no matter when i get off work, that could happen. but if i got off earlier; i would still get home earlier and we would be able to talk.

last night, i didnt eat myself into a food coma. i was so furious that i was fuming and crying. i talked to 2 girlfriends and got over being pissed. and i decided i was changing my team. i have the opportunity cause we have a mini realignment now. just after the big one which is very odd and probably means we will have another one around first of the year.

i made a decision.:carrot: i didnt agonize about whether my now coach would be upset or diappointed. i have a bad people pleaser issue. i decided that no coach is worth having if i will be stressed/worried/cranky/angry every night just because some dude decided to call at the last possible freaking minute.

so i will be (hopefully) :angel:on a new team on sept 7th. i still want to discuss with DH again tomorrow when he isnt worried and cranky and i am not either. today at our visit, his mom and sis were there, so not time to discuss making life decisions.

and he was NO help today. when i told him what i thought? his response? i will let you decide on that.

WHAT?:shrug: he always has something to say. part of his issue is that he is in prison and has to believe/trust me to tell the truth. which i do 99% of the time and 100% on big stuff.

i knew he would have been worried and i felt bad. but in my defense? i told him it could happen.

but the first freaking night? and 45 min?:mad:

but i decided on a plan of action. i didnt worry and make myself miserable. or others either.

i am pretty proud and i sure hope it makes sense?
:carrot:


mollymom
08-25-2008, 11:21 PM
THis has everything to do with weight loss , at least stress does it to me. You have had an awful lot of changes in a very short time, but it looks like you are trying to make a plan and stick to it. I wish you the very best. Deep breath in, deep breath out...repeat as needed:hug:

Sassy_Chick
08-26-2008, 12:12 AM
I can relate, to almost all. I also work in a callcenter. We too are under new management, moving to a different place and I get a new person to be with, who I haven't even met yet...........Only thing that is the same for me, is my hrs........

Right now I don't see my DH that much either, he is unemployed, but he is on a dayshift cycle, so he can go to interviews, etc..........and I work nights. So we don't see each other a lot, so I can sympathize with each minute that you do talk too your DH very precious.

Big :hug:


Pandora123a
08-26-2008, 06:46 AM
mrsdorson,

That is fantastic...you really changed a negative behavior! Three cheers...and when your husband gets out he will find a new thinner wife!

carinna
08-26-2008, 07:20 AM
Sounds like you are finding some great ways to cope and decompress without turning to food. Good for you. :hug:

SuchAPrettyFace
09-01-2008, 12:29 AM
my days off changed and who i report to and where i sit. all that doesnt really matter in this story. the time i leave work does. i work in a call center. i was getting off at 10 pm. at 10pm, i clocked out.


even if people were waiting.:o

now i get off at 10:15 (or when the last person waiting is off the phone).

i left work at 11 pm. :mad:after a 45 min phone call with a man who spoke another language and a interpreter. the call should have ended after 5 min. he asked the same 5 questions over and over and over. the interpreter had to interupt the translation 4 times (which they never do) to reclarify the SAME info we had gone over before. the problem was not the language barrier; i get those calls all the time. he wanted me to make a change on his account that i was not able to do and would not take no for a answer.:nono:

I have sent you a PM. :)

pamatga
09-01-2008, 05:58 PM
I think working in a call center is one of the most difficult jobs there is to do. My BF and I both do even if I do it remotely. People don't realize just how much is expected of us. I was reading about how you are physically separated from your DH right now. I know how you feel since I am staying with an elderly parent while another one is in a nursing home, working and trying to manage our joint finances even though I have been helping my Dad with money (and I am definitely not rich!) while he waits to be made legal guardian over my Mom. Add that to how grief-stricken everyone has been this year and you can get an idea of how much stress I have felt this past year. This is not even including my own problems back home either!

It is very difficult to take care of yourself when you are wore out from work, from needing a serious hug, and taking care of others under very stressful circumstances. Who is seriously thinking about food in anything other than it is there? Or how about exercising when you just want to exercise your mouth and yell at the top of your lungs?

This is what has worked for me these past few months:

1) Take one day at a time. Get as much sleep and rest as you need. Prioritize. You don't need to be Betty Crocker and/or Martha Stewart right now. That can wait.

2) Be and seek out supportive people. If you need alone time, take it. Strike a balance with being with others vs being alone. Either one or the other is too much.

3)Eat as healthy as you can. Again, throw away the perfectionism. Do what you need to do but not put expectations on yourself right now. You already sound like you have enough as it is. Be gentle with yourself.

4) Find something to make you smile, laugh and move. Cry as often as you need but don't forget to find the good in each day. It might take some digging but it is there.

5) This too shall pass. This too shall pass. Say and believe it because it will.

Love Pam:hug: