Weight Loss Support - major failure!!!!!!!!
08-20-2008, 02:58 AM
I am such a major failure. I am failing wit my weight loss, I've probably gained a **** load. :( I've failed wit my relationship... God I can't even have it more then 2 weeks, and he blames everything on me. NOTHING is his fault. ALL me! **** him. I miss him though, like mad. :(
Why don't I just give up on everything? Relationships, weight loss, life altogether. Death sleeps, right? :(
Failure all around. :?:
08-20-2008, 03:10 AM
Don't give up! You have lost 30 lbs and that is a wonderful thing. We all have our days where we fail at eating sensibly. Most of the people here have failed a few times on losing weight before they did it for life! Take a deep breath and just move back on track. As for your relationship many have failed those as well, but I say don't give up on that either! Talk to him and let him know how you feel (he should know that it stresses you out when he can't take blame or he blames you), but before you do relax and calm down...
08-20-2008, 04:33 AM
I agree, don't give up! If I had, I'd be still "hiding" at home. Now I have a job, make decent money, have a new car, and good friends. We all have our days like the above poster said. So please, keep coming here, these people are wonderful! They never give up on you, even when you want to give up on yourself!
As for the relationship, yeah I'd tell him how you feel, let him know its not just a one-way road. A relationship goes both ways. So he has to take in part of the blame. If he doesn't like it, then its his loss. I know that is easier said than done, but honestly, in the end if its not meant to be and there is someone out there very special just for you, you will be glad that this relationship ended. Trust me. I met my husband 11 1/2 yrs ago and I'm so glad that the other relationships I had never worked out, otherwise I would have missed out on him! Now we've been married for 10 yrs next month!
So never lose hope!!! Oh and feel free to join us in our Weekly Chat we have in here. ;)
08-20-2008, 08:27 AM
You are a humanbeing not a major failure! Please have grace for yourself, it will all be o.k., this time will pass, these feelings will pass :hug: The weight loss is always ongoing, some days are difficult but it will go down if you don't give up.
The man...my dad always blamed everyone else for lifes struggles, I don't have any patience for that sort of narcissm. I agree with Sassy chick if he is worth a talk, talk to him, if the only voice he hears is his own, he is not worth the talk. Don't invest energy in the wrong man, there are good men out there who have integrity and will understand how valuable you are.
Keep coming here to talk :hug:
08-20-2008, 09:06 AM
I agree with the fact that you achieved a great deal loosing 30 lbs. Don't get discouraged.
“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.” :hug:
(I know, I know - quotes are corny - but usually other people can say thing much better than I can :))
Why don't I just give up on everything? Relationships, weight loss, life altogether. Death sleeps, right? :(
Albertagirl, don't do this to yourself. Seperate the issues...
1) Weight Loss...Even if you gained some of your weight back, nothing changes the fact that you did lose 30 pounds. For me, you are an inspiration. You are a successful dieter, and you are more healthy then when you started. That is what it is about, not a number on the scale. Whatever you did in the past, worked. So you slipped...decide to get back up. By any chance did your weight gain coincide with something Mr. Wonderful did?
2) Relationships...I agree with the previous posters...he is either worth the effort because he is willing to talk with you in a productive way, or he is not worth it. Do not let his behavior undermine your past successes. If someone makes you feel that rotten, they are not the right one for you....and you can't find Mr. Right if you're attached to, and being made miserable by, Mr. Wrong.
3) Life ... Death sleeps?! Please don't even for a few moments let your thoughts go that way. My brother committed suicide and he has missed so much since he has been gone. Things I know he would have enjoyed. Even if you wouldn't contemplate actually doing anything to yourself, those kinds of dark thoughts effect you....they change your health and can make you physically sick. They make you give up. You are worth so much more than that.
I've read some of your previous posts before, and you are so encouraging and positive to others. That positive person is inside of you....time to pep talk yourself like you did everyone else. This situation is temporary. Don't let it get the better of you.
08-20-2008, 10:31 AM
You have not failed, as you are here seeking support. That's a good thing!
Slow down....take a deep breath. Write down goals you want to accomplish for YOURSELF, not others.
Make this weight loss journey about YOU! A 30 pound weight loss is incredible.
If you haven't already, start a blog. It helps me to write down all my frustrations and accomplishments.
Wish you luck....
08-20-2008, 10:33 AM
I'm sorry you're feeling so low. It's really easy to let it all pile up in your mind and focus only on the negative. But YOU can choose your self-talk, and it doesn't have to be about all the failures. We may not be able to control everything about our lives, but we choose how we react to it, and we choose to let it make us weaker or stronger. Find a friend, pastor or counselor to talk to so you can move past these feelings and into a healthier you.:hug:
08-20-2008, 10:42 AM
You are not a failure, you are human, sometimes we are successful, sometimes we are not, but we can always start over. Don't be so hard on yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you would to someone else.
Just because something in life doesn't work out, does not mean you are a failure! every woman on this forum has had a bad relationships, broken up with somebody they loved, and gained weight. But you've done so much for yourself so far. You can continue to do what you deserve - to lose weight and be healthy and positive. Come on!! You can do this :hug: Because you are a success!
08-20-2008, 10:52 AM
Don't give up on yourself. 30 lbs is not failure. Even if you gain some back during this stressful time (and we all have had this issue at some point), don't be discouraged.
I'm not good at quoting people or giving advise, but a friend who was saved by AA told me one thing I'll never forget. Whatever it is, you need to work at it one day at a time. Sometimes, when things get rough, you may need to work on it one hour or one minute at a time. Don't give up! If you stumble a bit, just start again one minute, one hour, then one day at a time.
08-20-2008, 01:29 PM
You are NOT a failure!!:hug::hug: The way I see it, no one is going to be perfect 100% of the time. We are human. We are going to fall off the wagaon. The trick is to get right back on!
You can do this! Try focusing on one meal at a time. Just breakfast and morning snacks for two weeks than add healthy lunches and afternoon snack etc.
As for the guy, if he's blaming everything on you, you don't need him! I firmly believe that the right guy will enter all our lives when we least expect him to and when the time is right.
Keep focus on being a healthier and happier you!:hug:
08-21-2008, 12:48 PM
Oh how wise the previous posters are!! Listen to them. They are all right. There is not much more i can say except....things happen. I lost 62 pounds and gained back 8 pounds... last time i checked anyways (scared to get back on the scale).
But weightloss is something you have to do for yourself. Get a journal out and write down measurements and weights and foods you are eating. It really helps to have it to look back on when life goes south and you put a couple pounds back on. You can see what you did before that worked and what you have to do to make it work again (trust me...i'm living proof. lol.) And 30 pounds is awesome!!! I lost 30 pounds in a whole year. And i was very proud of myself and you should be too.
As for the guy, honestly, he doesn't sound worthy of you. I know that's easy for someone to say...but i've been there. I'm one of those girls who fall in love very easily...and it does hurt when things don't work out. Sure, i think about suicide...but then i forget it. If i didn't, i would have missed out on some great times. The thing is...you gotta put yourself first...and this guy is definately putting himself first. Or you could just go slap him around a bit...joke!! But really....i agree with k8t...you gotta separate your issues. One does not have to do with the other...and if it does...then again...his loss and not yours.
I'm rooting for ya girl!!! I know you are going to pull this. Someone who lost 30 pounds is by no means a quitter. She is someone who is strong, determined, patient and intelligent. No chin up and keep marching!!! :-)
08-21-2008, 12:53 PM
I agree with what everyone has said above the only thing i can say is what you have done so far is amazing and yes things seem low at the moment but you have years ahead of you to have much happier times with , yes death is an option but a wasteful one at that. All I can do is offer you a hug :hug: and say you are not alone!
08-21-2008, 01:41 PM
We may not be able to control everything about our lives, but we choose how we react to it
I LOVE this.
Life really is all about choices. Some are hard, some are easy, some are confusing but they are all our choices. If you choose to let your current situation bring you down, it will; but if you choose to accept it for what it is and face it with a positive attitude, things will change for the better. Henry Ford once said 'If you think you can do a thing or cannot do a thing, either way you are right.' Truer words were never spoken.
Talk to your BF; things will either work out with him or they won't but if you don't talk to him, you'll never know.
Losing 30 lbs. is NOT an easy thing to do; just ask anyone here! If you give up now what will happen? You will likely gain that weight you worked so hard to get off back and you will not be any happier.
Your mindset determines your outlook on life; take charge of it. You CAN do this.
BTW, 'death sleeps'?? Uh no, death is dead. Get your mind outta that place right now, ya hear? :drill: :hug:
08-21-2008, 02:09 PM
im from alberta too!!! Alberta pride!!!!
Do not give up. Hold your head high. Your beautiful ( i know because your from Alberta) and dont let a man bring you down. Its very cliche but there are plenty of fish in the sea... and one day... you will find your bite... and a tasty man fish you will find. lol... sorry got carried away on that one...
30 pounds is FANTASTIC and your almost at your goal... good luck darlin!
you can do it.
08-21-2008, 07:37 PM
Stop that way of thinking right now !!! :nono: You are a wonderful woman and do not talk about ending your life. My father in law did that, and it was a sad sad decision. He ended his life and ruined his entire family's lives. :(
Look at all of us struggling to lose weight and YOU my dear have lost 30 pounds. That is incredible! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and kick his *** to the curb. You do not need a man that is not loving and supportive and kind. There are so many wonderful men looking for wonderful women. You go girl!!! Today, lets begin again. A new outlook on life, a new body, a new waredobe, a new car, a new bikini for a wonderful singles cruise that you will treat yourself to next summer. Put your focus on YOU and YOUR goals. You hear me?????????????????? :hug:
08-21-2008, 07:39 PM
You are NOT a failure. Please don't think like that. And you're NOT alone. We've all been there. I'm sorry you're feeling so low. :hug:
08-23-2008, 10:02 AM
Any better today?? Been thinking about you and hoping that you are focusing on more positive thoughts and taking baby steps forward. You remain an inspiration to me and will be looking for an updated post.
08-23-2008, 10:41 AM
Albertagirl, do you have any idea what an accomplishment it is to lose the amount of weight you've lost? It's major! Doesn't matter if it's 10% or 50% or 100% of your goal....it is a significant amount and losing it took discipline and patience. You're not a failure! Think about how many people try to lose 30 lbs and don't succeed. You've done something to be extremely proud of.
Don't beat yourself up. We all have our crappy days (I had one a few days ago) but don't give up. You've done really well so far, you should be very proud of yourself!
08-26-2008, 07:26 AM
Run to the nearest counselor or therapist. If you are thinking suicide be aware that the only constant in life is "this too shall pass". This kind of thinking is more than this group can get you through.
Please post again and let us know you are okay.