Weight Loss Support - long term weight goal struggle

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twilit tera
08-19-2008, 02:32 AM
Hi, all.

Newbie time. This is the umpteenth time I've tried to manage my weight. I'm struggling with setting the long term goal.

Charts I've seen, including the Weight Watchers' chart, indicate I should be setting my long term goal at 150 pounds, give or take a few. The last time I had a lot of success, I got to 180 then got stuck! I was exercising 40 minutes a day and fought for months to drop to 170. I never did reach 150. I experienced an emotional crisis, fell off the wagon and stayed off it til I'd gained back every ounce.

Now I'm looking back and wondering if I didn't set an impossible goal for myself, charts be blasted. Or maybe it was just a plateau. Maybe, if I'd kept going, I'd have pushed through.


Iconised Ghost
08-19-2008, 02:52 AM
hi twilit tera
i dont think your goal was impossible, perhaps it was just too big for you at the time? I know that my goal should be 10kg below what it actually is, but i cant imagine myself being that small, and losing that amount of weight seems too hard! Maybe you need to set smaller goals, it really makes it easier. Dont worry about the long term goal for now :)

08-19-2008, 02:52 AM
I don't think your goal is impossible at all. Congrats on the progress you've already made. I know how important those first 10 pounds are. It's kind of a make or break period for dieting, at least me it is. I thought 135 for me would be an out-of-reach goal. So I set my goal at 145. I am almost at 145 now, and feel great. I am faster than I have been in years and have more energy. I think I am going to keep going until I hit 135. Now, I've lost nearly 40 pounds in four and a half months. I think it will take me about four months to lose another 15 just because I had to lower my points for WW and up my exercise to jogging instead of walking. I don't know if this helps or not, but I totally think you could do it.

08-19-2008, 02:55 AM
welcome to the forum....

08-19-2008, 05:04 AM
I would advise throwing the charts away. I have NEVER been my goal weight in my adult life and I do think that trying to reach that unobtainable goal for me in my teens has what has lead me to a lifelong weight problem. My current goal represents the point when I am no longer obese. When I get there I will re-assess that goal but if I am happy there I will stay with that. My lowest adult weight was about 155 so I might consider that but no lower.


08-19-2008, 05:30 AM
I was 'pushing' myself to be a lower goal of 150lbs, and now I have raised that goal. I have a LOT of excess skin that I have to consider into the equation and I also figure that from where I WAS, I can't imagine myself ever being 'skinny' and don't even know if I would WANT to be skinny.

At the moment I am having trouble even getting down to my new goal, but I like to have it sitting there as a 'challenge', so I don't let any small gains go too far. I manage to catch them early and nudge it down again slowly.

I would recommend that you set a realistic number for yourself, even if you set it originally at 180lbs, which you KNOW you can get to. You may find that after you sit there for a while you might try to go a little lower, but you may also realise that this is a perfect spot for you to be and you can maintain it with very little pressure on yourself. As long as you are as healthy as you can be and you feel good, then I think that is all that matters. My doctor is always impressed with my medical results and has told me I don't need to lose any more weight, so I'll try to listen to her and be happy where I am for a while.

Good luck.


08-19-2008, 08:43 AM
I am also looking to maintain above what the charts tell me. I feel healthy and fit in the 170s, especially compared to where I was. Yes, I might be able to get to the 150's, where I "should" be, but I'm not sure I want to do the additional work it would take to get there. I think that's an individual choice for each of us. The good news is that you don't have to decide now what your goal will be. You can see how you feel as you get close! Good luck!

08-19-2008, 10:38 AM
Hi there,

When I started my weight loss journey, I, too, had no idea what my goal weight should be. I have been on the chubby side for too long (with a short period of time when I REALLY exercised and ate little and dropped quite some weight) to actually know what I should be. And when I say what I should be (i.e. how much I should weigh) I don't mean what charts recommend for my height. There are also other factors, e.g. age. I just turned 49 and although I see that many chicks who are my height or even taller are aiming below my goal weight, that is fine. I cannot compete with someone half my age.

So, when I started, I decided to I would drop down to 175 and then decide where to go from there. When I made it to 178 (which meant a 30 lb loss for me) I decided to change to goal weight to 158. If I make it there, I would be very happy but I don't expect to go any lower because I think it would be very hard for me to maintain. At this point I don't know what my goal weight will be - I am hoping for the above-mentioned 158 but nothing is cast in stone.

Why don't you set a goal of 200 lbs for yourself; then you will have a better idea of what the final weight should be. You can always adjust as you go, it does not mean that you have to stick with the number that you originally decided on.

Oh, and welcome to 3FC.

twilit tera
08-19-2008, 11:08 AM
Thanks, everybody!

I think I've made up my mind. I'm going to follow Kitty's plan and set smaller goals that I can revise once I've obtained them, not worrying about what weight I should be when I've "arrived." Maybe the concept of having a destination in the first place was part of the problem.

In fact, even if I do get down to 155ish, I would still want to set health and weight management goals... it's not like the journey's over at a certain weight.

My first goal is just to look good in the clothes I already own - no bulgy bits sticking out. That's about two dress sizes, but I don't know what that relates to poundwise.

Again, thank you - all of you. You've been an encouragement to me already. :)

08-19-2008, 06:27 PM
it's not like the journey's over at a certain weight.

That's a GREAT way to think about it! You'll be on this journey for LIFE! :)

08-19-2008, 07:06 PM
Twilit tera,

Starting goals are a great way to go. I'll also add that if you have been obese for an extended period of time your leg bones and thighs build more bulk and muscle...so the "goal weight" that you might have had has to be adjusted up to account for that.

The good news is that this will eventually help with osteoporosis.

08-20-2008, 01:57 AM
I set my goal for 140, but if went by the charts, 110-120 or so would be best for my height. I cannot picture myself that small, but when I hit 140, I'll see how I look/feel and perhaps set another goal that is lower.

I think having smaller goals is probably a good idea, and when I first started losing, what kept me on track was the way my clothes were starting to feel. I never bothered weighing myself at all at first, just went by how loose my clothes were getting.

08-20-2008, 02:59 AM
my goals have steadily become revised....
i hit 140 yesterday, now im going to aim for 126....

twilit tera
08-21-2008, 12:15 AM
That's fantastic! Congratulations!

08-21-2008, 04:36 PM
Hi Twilit... we're the same height, and before my recent gain, around the same size. I've seen those same charts, but I have to say, even when I was in the Navy and in shape, I never got below 170. my body would not even think of going there. I was a size 8-10 at that weight, and it looked good on me. I think a lot of that depends on how you are built too. So.. good job on deciding to just set goals as you go.. I'm hoping to get back down to my Navy weight sometime next year.. right now I'm just hoping to get below 250 again sometime in the nearish future. Good luck!

twilit tera
08-21-2008, 05:57 PM
Thanks, Dee! Good luck to you too! Clearly weight is not the most accurate determinate of healthy size/fat ratio. I'm going to try to keep the focus on how I'm feeling and use that to determine my weight goal, rather than letting the weight to determine how I'm going to feel. :D

08-21-2008, 09:20 PM
No problem.. also.. feel free to pm me off post if you ever need a weight loss buddy.. I'm thinking I should look for someone to give me an email kick in the rear and vice versa when I'm slacking.