Weight Loss Support - how many times did you "fail"

View Full Version : how many times did you "fail"

08-16-2008, 06:19 PM
for those that have reached their weightloss goal, or are well on their way, did you find yourself starting and stopping over and over again? I am SO discouraged, I lost 30lbs so I know I have it in me, but I keep doing good for a few days, and then falling off the wagon again, and its so frustrating, im starting to wonder if I can even do it. I hate this defeated attitude, so Im wondering if there is anyone that has been there...

08-16-2008, 06:24 PM
I've been trying to lose weight off and on since I was in high school. I'm 40 now. I've kind of lost count of the number of times I've started and stopped.

This time I've been losing steadily for about 18 months (with a couple of unplanned "maintenance" periods in the middle there) and am hoping to reach my goal by next spring, if not earlier.

I suspect this time I'll keep it off for good. My habits have changed completely - both with regard to eating and exercise.


08-16-2008, 06:44 PM
Well, I guess I never really have failed as I keep trying to lose weight. I think failing is giving up all together. I've been on a healthy journey since February 2007. It's now August 2008 and I've lost only 50 pounds, which is good! But, I have another at least 10-15 to lose. I am in no hurry to lose this weight. No one is chasing me....I am not attending a high school reunion and I don't need to fit into any dress! Slow and steady for me. Which in turn has seemed to help greatly.

You haven't failed, you are here asking for support. That's a good thing! :)


08-16-2008, 06:45 PM
I guess failed was a poor choice of word..thats why I put it in quotes, cause your right, it technically isnt failing if you didnt give up...how bout...how many times were you set back..

08-16-2008, 06:48 PM
I guess failed was a poor choice of word..thats why I put it in quotes, cause your right, it technically isnt failing if you didnt give up...how bout...how many times were you set back.

As of this latest health journey, no set backs at all. Sure a pound or two gained along the way, but have not quit or fallen off the wagon. I guess my mindset is very determined and I have to desire to be healthy in mind, body and spirit.

Sometimes taking baby steps with a new way of life so to speak is the best thing to do. Once you have conquered let's say exercising...then you can add eating healthy into the mix.

I wish I could offer you better suggestions. Sorry....:^:

08-16-2008, 06:49 PM
I've been at this forever, too. Don't be too discouraged because that only becomes self-defeating. Stick with 3FC and maybe find a real life support group like TOPS or WW to help encourage you. If you change your old eating habits and lifestyle it will become easier for you. It takes more than a few months to change a life time of bad habits so don't be too hard on yourself. Make each defeat a learning opportunity to know what not to do next time. And 30 pounds is an awesome weight loss. You must have been doing something right.

I find I work very well with goals. I write them down somewhere and review them on and off. I need accountability so I record everything down in the 50+ support threads. My goals are achievable for me so I don't get too discouraged. One of my goals is to lose 5 pounds for the month of August and that is quite achievable. You can make a list of goals to work towards--they don't all have to be weight related but they will all make you be a better person while you're losing weight.

All the best on your journey to health.

08-16-2008, 07:28 PM
I "failed" every time I got to the end of a "diet" and decided I was done and no longer needed to pay attention to what I ate. And, that was every time before now! I would say--seven times? I wasn't counting.


08-16-2008, 07:29 PM
This is the first diet I have been on, and so far I have had the good fortune of not falling off the diet. I did want some French fries the other day, but it really wasn't like a craving. I think it was more due to boredom and loneliness because my parents were gone for a few days. (And I didn't eat the fries.)

I think a big reason I gained the weight was from boredom, late night snacking, and over eating. So I think I am going to be able to lose the weight and maintain it if I stop eating when I am bored, late night snacking, and over eating.

I think if I can lose the weight then anyone can! So don't give up.

08-16-2008, 08:12 PM
I succeeded in losing 80 lbs during my first serious weightloss attempt that began 5 years ago. I've successfully kept that weight off since then, and while I know that that is a major loss and a successful maintanence, I haven't been able to actually achieve my goal weight; I keep hitting a plateau at the exact size and weight I am currently at. It's terribly frustrating and that feeling of hopelessness has caused me to regain and lose the same 5 - 10 lbs these last two years.
I do occasionally eat 'off plan' but with one exception from earlier this week (where I polished off an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's... 1200 calories!!!) I eat 90% on plan. If I do eat off plan, it's usually nothing like my B&J feast (which is very unlike me, but something I consciously chose to do bc I NEEDED icecream, so I didn't binge). But I've learned not to count those slip ups as "falling off my diet" anymore because it only leads to me beating myself up over a cookie.

08-16-2008, 08:36 PM
I too eat out of boredom. I've actually have a 'post it' in front of me that says: If bored, DO NOT EAT! Then I have a list of other options such as: Drink water, do a 20 minute exercise DVD, shut my eyes for a few minutes, paint my nails etc.

I too have been on a plateau of sorts for the last 6 months. I am not giving up and actually do not feel like giving up, which to me is half the battle.

08-16-2008, 08:37 PM
I've been dieting since I was 5 years old. I've lost significant amounts of weight 3 times before, only to gain it back, plus extra

1979 - 1983 Lost 70 lbs to 155 lbs with prescription diet pills and disordered eating (often eating only on weekends). Doctor lowered my goal to 140 (from 150) when I was struggling just to lose the last five pounds. I got so discouraged that I would ever be able to lose another 15 lbs, so I gave up. Still kicking myself that I didn't tell the doctor to go to blazes, and work on maintaining the loss I'd accomplished. But, like many of us, I figured that if I couldn't get to my goal weight, none of what I'd already accomplished made a difference (stupid). In my defense, I was a teenager.

1990 Lost 60 lbs to be in a friend's wedding with Nutrisystem. After the wedding, I started backsliding.

1994 Lost 60 lbs having joined TOPS after herniating a disc in my back. I got a job 70 miles away and decided I could do it on my own.

I've had a lot of smaller successes and failures, which leads me to this time. I've sort of been on this path for three years. Three years ago, we moved to Wisconsin and over the next several months lost 20 lbs without trying. About two years ago, I started working on getting more active and eating healthier, but without specific weight loss goals. I maintained the 20 lb loss, but didn't lose any more - though I did become more active, and my strength and stamina improved. About a year ago, I had a consult with a doctor who recommended that I stack my birth control to control my PMDD and severe hormonal binging, and go with a lower carb diet because of my insulin resistance (my family doctor had already given me this recommendation, but I was hesitant to try a low carb diet, because of skepticism). So hubby and I joined TOPS last year, and I've been trying to use South Beach principles with an exchange plan, and I've lost over 50 lbs.

It has never, ever taken me a year to lose 50 lbs before, and that really makes me discouraged when I think about it that way. However, I also have NEVER had three years of maintenance or stability (I had about 2.5 years once, of stability when I vowed never to diet again, that was before the herniated disc), let alone a 3 year downward trend before.

Instead of losing fast at first, and slowing as I go, that hasn't been my experience this time, unlike all the others. My weight loss is speeding up as I go, gaining momentum, I suppose. With all of my health issues, I think it's because the stronger I get, the more I can accomplish and the more calories I can burn. However, I've vowed not to worry about that. I'll do my best, and the weight will come off at whatever pace it does.

I've vowed to be a TOPS member for life. Hubby and I took officer positions with our club (he treasurer, me co-leader) to support the club, and to strengthen our commitment and responsibility to losing weight.

08-16-2008, 09:07 PM
There is a saying about Thomas Edison and his attempt to invent the light bulb. He apparently tried over 2000 combinations before he succeeded. However he never said he failed..he just said he found 2000 ways not to make a light bulb! I try to remember that.

Can I say I have succeeded...not yet..but I know 2000 ways to succeed. It is just up to me to apply everything that I know. I think it is important to remember that we are human...and humans aren't perfect. I make mistakes, I fall off the wagon..but as long as I keep trying and my successes exceed my failures..then I can't help but reach my goal. Reaching any goal is rarely a straight line...as my grandmother used to say:

"It is a long road that has no turns".

I like to think of a chart that I have seen tracking the stock market since 1900. The line goes up and down, but for every ten year period the ending point is always better than the starting point. That is how I want to be! As long as I reach a better ending point than starting point every month..I am on my way.

Don't give up...don't get discouraged...just be aware...and keep on faking ti until you make it!:hug:

08-16-2008, 10:34 PM
thank you all for your encouragement..I just kept wondering if I could really lose the weight...and now I know that Its hard for everyone..but its hard for everyone, and its just a matter of starting over everyday, not worrying about the past, but doing your best for the future..

08-16-2008, 10:38 PM
I don't think there's enough memory on the 3FC server to list them all. I don't consider them a failure as much as a return to fluffiness. Everyone has setbacks.

Beach Patrol
08-16-2008, 11:58 PM
I've never failed.

I've always lost the weight I wanted to lose.

I've just never *kept* it off.

I don't consider that *failure*.

I consider it *maintenance challenged*. ;) :lol:

08-17-2008, 12:07 AM
I only tried to lose weight once before this time. Last time I wasn't very serious about it and didn't stick it out too long, maybe a month or so and lost about ten pounds.

This time it's for life.

08-17-2008, 12:52 AM
I've lost count of how many times I've tried to lose weight before now. One time I got 15 pounds off in about a month...I pretty well starved myself and exercised hard. Gained all that back. I also lost about 30 pounds about 6 years ago, gained all that back as well. I would maybe lose 10 pounds here and there, and gain it all back until I reached my highest weight of 290. This time around I didn't starve myself, allowed myself chocolate and other treats once in awhile, and made sure I got a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise a day. I eat more vegetables and fruit, and changed some of my habits (e.g. when I'm watching t.v. in the evening, I can get absorbed in the show, but when a commercial comes on, is when I use to get up and get something to eat. Now, I watch my show, but have a magazine or book open that I read during commercials so I'm not sticking my nose in the fridge).

I have times when I stuff my face and eat too much, but I figure, I may have fallen off the horse, but I can always get back on. Don't get discouraged...you can definitely do this!

08-17-2008, 03:59 AM
I'm really not sure how many times I tried as a teenager. Many times I would start off the day by eating a boiled egg and toast and drinking tomato juice. I would drink bouillon for lunch with canned green beans and then by dinner I would have quit my diet. :dizzy:

I tried WW once in college and once as a newlywed. After my children were born, I really only remember two attempts to lose weight. So if I estimate 10 times as a teenager, the total would be around 14.

The difference is that this time I didn't set off on a diet. This time I decided I am going to live my life in a healthier fashion, which then led to weight loss.

I also think age has a lot to do with it for me. When I was younger and needed to lose 50 lbs, I would think 2 lbs a week - that could take me 25 weeks (otherwise known as FOREVER) - no way could I do this for 25 weeks. Time flies by now and the three years since I started this seems like just yesterday.

08-17-2008, 01:39 PM
I agree that time flies...when i was dieting, I did amazingly well from April to August 2007, and it didnt take long at all to get there, its looking toward that date when you begin haha

08-17-2008, 01:56 PM
I'd say that I've failed at "diets" about 2 times in my life. I went on these diets simply to lose weight - the biggest weight loss of 20 pounds or so coming from being in a competition while at work.

The difference for me now is that I'm not on a "diet." I've made the conscious decision to make a lifestyle change. I know that my weight stems mostly from lack of self-control - especially binge sessions with my two secret lovers (chips and pasta) lol.

I know that if I work to change my bad habits of poor food choices and lack of exercise, the weight loss will follow. I know I'll encounter bumpy roads and will make a few detours, but my direction will not change.

Best of luck to you as you find you way!

08-17-2008, 06:24 PM
Right now my problems are

1. I dont like walking alone, I had a neighbor walking with me, but she bailed and I just couldnt get myself motivated to go alone. I dont have an ipod or MP3 player or anything so that isnt appealing to me. Yesterday and today however, I did go walking by myself, and then came back home and did a workout from the tv "on demand"

2. I live with my parents, and I dont work..so I am a slave to what is in the house to eat, and its not always easy for me to find something to eat, when nobody else is doing the healthy eating that I am...

3. I feel at a disadvantage because I dont have a treadmill or weight, and I cant afford a gym membership..Im just hoping the poor peoples workout is as good as these "machines" haha :)

08-17-2008, 07:23 PM
In answer to your latest post, makinthechange:

1. I walk alone (tried walking with the dog once - no, she has the focus of a fly, and 90+ lbs of drag is a drag!), and what does help me is having the music. If you can even get a walkman - having tunes helps set and keep the pace.

2. If nothing else, keeping a log or diary of your intake of the foods you have access to will assist immensely. I use Fitday, and it is a huge help. Can you talk to your Mom about adding more fresh fruits/veggies (even frozen) to her shopping list? Offering to help cook (terrific cookbooks at the library and great recipes online) might help, too - this way you have some control over the occasional meal.

3. I, too, have no $$ for gym membership or equipment - I walk with a walking staff (had some issues with a dog on my route, so carry it just in case), and use it to do arm lifts and stretches while walking. I've increased my distance and cut my times in the last 2 months, and although I won't be entering any races anytime soon, I am tickled with my progress. I also try to increase my movement just in day-to-day chores and situations - getting out in the garden more, parking a bit further away, even putting away clothes in the closet one at a time, walking across the room for each piece. Yeah, it'll take more time - but, hey, so would going to a gym daily.

As far as your original post, yeah, I did the tried and failed approach many times. Good Lord willing, this life-change will be the end to the failures.

Good luck! Keep in touch through 3FC - we're here!

08-17-2008, 08:08 PM
I believe libraries have exercise DVD/VHS to rent for free! Try that!

08-17-2008, 09:22 PM
Some of the sports channels here air exercise shows every morning, and that's probably the same where you live. Why not record those shows and follow them, or follow them as they air? I live in the North, where temps can get down to around -50 degrees celsius (with windchill) in the Winter and I am not one of those die-hard exercisers who's out walking every day when it's that cold. Exercise videos got me through the winter. Plus, I work out on an exercise bike I got at a yard sale for $5...it's not fancy and it's not new but it does the trick. I also have inexpensive workout gear I got from department stores like Wal-Mart, such as resistance bands, a step-stool for step exercises, and a Bally punching bag. I added to my collection one piece at a time so it wasn't all one big expense.

Good luck!

08-18-2008, 12:43 AM
i started dieting in the end of june and since then i find myself "cheating" all the time. i would say at least twice a week. There are those days where I just go and grab anything I can find to eat. I justify myself by saying that I've lose some pounds already so I can. Don't get discouraged by it, what I do is just go back to healthy me the next day or the evening of and so far i know it's putting my body in a shock but I haven't gained any pounds that I have eaten up. Good luck and keep on going!

08-18-2008, 08:34 AM
I progressively lost weight throughout middle and high school. During my junior year of college, I got down to a very small size and was pretty small, busting my butt at the gym 6 times a week. I didn't even realize that I wasn't eating much until someone pointed it out to me.

I gained some weight back, so I was at a more normal weight for my body, then years later, got pregnant. That really got me screwed up, and I gained quite a bit. Now I'm taking it off, and I'm aiming for a little higher than my college weight. I'm already fitting into the same size I wore pre pregnancy, high school, etc.

So, I guess I could say I failed once, when I got pregnant, although I hardly consider that a failure. I will try to keep my weight in check next time I get pregnant.

08-18-2008, 03:14 PM
:hug: You lost 30 pounds already, that's GREAT! :D I don't personally think that could be considered a failure in any way.

For me, getting started was the hardest part of my weight loss. Once I got started and decided to fully commit myself with an intense amount of passion and dedication, I never went back.

In the summer of 2006, I made my first weight loss attempt. My girlfriend's brother said he lost 30 pounds by eating whatever he wanted and running every day. I ran every day for around two weeks and hated every minute of it. I felt every ounce of my fat jiggling and since I was running on the sidewalk, the cars passing by often yelled crude remarks like "HEY FATTY!" which discouraged me.

I started running every few days during the subsequent weeks, followed by once a month, followed by never.

After being discouraged with running, I decided dieting might be a better way to go. My neighbor lost 20 pounds on her self-proclaimed salad diet. The only rule is that every meal had to be a salad; she made ham salads, chicken salads, pepperoni and cheese salads, egg salads, you name it, she made it! I tried this salad diet for a little over a week, got tired of eating salads, and gave up.

Lori Bell
08-18-2008, 07:12 PM
Right now my problems are

1. I dont like walking alone, I had a neighbor walking with me, but she bailed and I just couldnt get myself motivated to go alone. I dont have an ipod or MP3 player or anything so that isnt appealing to me. Yesterday and today however, I did go walking by myself, and then came back home and did a workout from the tv "on demand"

2. I live with my parents, and I dont work..so I am a slave to what is in the house to eat, and its not always easy for me to find something to eat, when nobody else is doing the healthy eating that I am...3. I feel at a disadvantage because I dont have a treadmill or weight, and I cant afford a gym membership..Im just hoping the poor peoples workout is as good as these "machines" haha :)

Have you considered getting a job? Even if it's mowing lawns, that will give you exercise plus extra cash to buy your own groceries and tunes. I was mowing and babysitting by the time I was 14, (as well as on a diet) and I bought my own food. The lady I baby sat for was always thrilled when I babysat because unlike others, I was always on a diet and didn't raid the pantry. LOL

There are TONS of jobs that keep you active, in college I waited tables in a nice bar/grill. I made great tips, and kept thin.

08-18-2008, 08:44 PM
I been failing since I was twelve and I am now twenty. So I thats like most of my life. This time however I am commited to a change, and I still eat what I usually eat just a lot less and also I am sign-up to a gym membership with my aunt I lost 14 pounds so far. I account my failing I guess to lack of motivation, a boat load of people living cramed up in one house, and now that the bulk of the people have moved out my sister who is the biggest downer around.
I also live with my family and have no job, but since my aunt is diabetic and my mother has cardio problems there is no bad food around. Like someone else suggested get a job, I lost a lot of weight that way. Walk with some music, I don't have an mp3 player so I use a CD player they can't be more the 20 dollars. You lost 30 pounds so thats a great accomplishment, you just have to keep going. I know is no fun walking by yourself cause you feel lonely if you don't like music I seen some people walk with their cellphones chatting with people. Good luck!

08-18-2008, 09:26 PM
Have you considered getting a job? Even if it's mowing lawns, that will give you exercise plus extra cash to buy your own groceries and tunes. I was mowing and babysitting by the time I was 14, (as well as on a diet) and I bought my own food. The lady I baby sat for was always thrilled when I babysat because unlike others, I was always on a diet and didn't raid the pantry. LOL

There are TONS of jobs that keep you active, in college I waited tables in a nice bar/grill. I made great tips, and kept thin.

haha of course Ive tried getting a job, I didnt just resign myself to not having one.

well I didnt want to get into my personal life, but Im 25, so Im not in the lawn mowing, babysitting age..I realize I could do these things, but i AM looking for work, I am not a freeloader, I clean our house, cook dinner, keep up the laundry, watch my niece and nephew while everyone else is at work..so I am around here for something haha finding work is not easy right now, and Im doing the best I can..

There may be tons of jobs, but Ive applied everywhere and nobody wants me..Im hoping that I can find a job soon...but I say that everyday, and so far no luck...I am trying to find work, and Im NOT a freeloader, I pull my weight in other ways.

being out of work is pretty much the hardest thing that Ive been through, and I know the stress of it isnt helpful to my mindset to stick to dieting...so I just keep having to tell myself that it happens, and it doesnt mean anything about the my character or the kind of person that I am.

sorry haha touchy.

Lori Bell
08-18-2008, 10:42 PM
I'm so sorry if I sounded rude, it was totally not my intentions. I thought maybe you were in high school...there was no indication of your age, and the picture on your avatar looks really young. I'm a mom and aunt to several teens and the "get a job" line is part of my daily vocabulary...I am truly very sorry I hurt your feeling.

08-18-2008, 10:46 PM
no worries..I deal with not working every day of my life, and it doesnt get easier..It struck a nerve and I let it get to me :)

08-19-2008, 01:33 AM
Makinthechange....good luck with your job search. I would go months looking for work myself sometimes, hopefully something will come along soon. :)

08-19-2008, 09:49 PM
I had 4 major "diets" in my life before I figured out what would work for me permamently this last time.

High school - I was an ever so slightly chunky high school kid, definitely not fat at all even though I felt IMMENSE since so many girls in my high school were those super slim willowy no hips teen age girl types. I weighed around 140 lbs and dieted down to around 132 lbs. I didn't really know what I was doing, I tried to eat less and rode my bike around the neighborhood a lot. I had no idea about calories or anything like that.

College - I weighed 157 lbs and decided to just stop eating one summer. I had this genius idea that if eating too much made me fat, I would not eat and I would lose tons of weight really fast. For about 2 months, I existed on dexitrim, a bowl of rice krispies and an orange. I did lose a lot of weight, really fast. I binged on the fourth of July, helplessly, out of control. I gave up and regained the weight so quickly I have 3 permanent stretch marks on my belly to remind me of my stupidity.

Senior year of college - I was up to around 170 or so. I decided to eat "low fat" basically anything I wanted as long as it was low fat. Lots of pasta, baked potatoes, cereal, fruit, fat-free stuff like Snackwells. I had several "binge" episodes during this diet (now I know that empty carbs are a huge trigger for me and I was piling them in). I got down to 140 or so. Eventually just...stopped, went back to my old eating habits.

Several mini diets, I knew HOW to lose weight, so I would "diet" for awhile, lose weight, stop, gain the weight back and more weight...."diet" for awhile, lose weight, stop gain the weight back. These were really small efforts, I did manage to keep my weight fairly stable (well, kinda stable, under 160 lbs for about 5 years).

1999 - had my jaw wired shut due to surgery. Lost a LOT of weight really fast, gained it back equally fast when I started eating normally - not recommended!

2000 - Started a new stressful job - in a building with a FABULOUS cafeteria (including buy 1 get 1 free pastries every afternoon after 2). Gained weight very steadily, up to around 200 lbs over 4 years. Basically, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it.

2004 - Completely changed my life forever, lost 70 lbs, have kept it off for over 3.5 years :)

08-20-2008, 01:41 AM
I've been on about five major diets since I was around 35. I was skinny before that. I am 65 now, so that is a diet every 6 years. I am like many others - good at dieting and not so good at maintenance. The trouble is, I have gained back more every time. This time, I have lost 40lbs, and I have managed to keep at least 35lbs off since last Dec. I am pleased about that even though I haven't gotten to goal.

08-20-2008, 08:37 AM
I've yo-yo'd since puberty. In college, I could drop 10-15 pounds in a few weeks by crash dieting and exercise. In my 20's, I tried a "quick weight loss" program, paid lots of money for their program and protein supplements, lost 15 pounds and promptly gained it back (and more) when I fell off of the program and never went back. I lost weight for my wedding at age 30, gained for baby number one, lost all but 5 lbs, gained for baby number 2, and kept another 5-10 pounds. I decided to lose weight when I hit 40, lost 20 lbs and actually kept it off for a couple of years before the bad habits slipped back in and I gradually gained back that 20 and quite a bit more.

So put me in that category of "can lose weight just fine, it's the maintaining that's hard". I finally figured out that I regain weight when I stop watching. If I don't get on the scale regularly and watch what I eat every day, AND consistently exercise ... then the weight will come back. I've been maintaining this time for 8 months now. I still weigh every day, work out almost every day, and write down and calorie-count everything I eat. For me, I think this is what it's going to take. If I stop closely self-monitoring, that's when it starts to creep back on.

08-20-2008, 08:50 AM
i lost count :(

08-20-2008, 09:28 AM
Morning, I've realized that I've never "dieted" correctly in my life. I never made any life changes when I dieted. I've restricted too much, gave myself an end date,blah, blah, blah...but most important I've NEVER finished. A good weight for my body is around 125-130ish. Any time I've lost weight, I've stopped in the high 140s, ironically it's where I am now. I settle for "good enough" and then let myself go because I wasn't truely happy where my body was. At least I've finally realized I do this. So no end dates, it's taken me 16 months to lose 31 lbs. And it may take me until next Spring to get to where I ultimatley want to go but that's okay too. I've maintained this weight for almost 3 months so I know I can maintain. This is my 4th big weight loss attempt ( and attempt to maintain ) . This time I make it out of the parking lot and into the building:-):-)..