Weight Loss Support - I'm hopeless

View Full Version : I'm hopeless

04-01-2002, 07:56 AM
I've read a lot of the messages, and so many of you at least lost a few pounds, if not way more than that. But for me, I'm hopeless. I try to lose the weight I gained while in college, but my weight is ironically the thing that is most holding me back. "Well, I'm fat anyways, whats ice cream gonna do?" Or more commonly, I tell myself "Your fat butt can't go to the gym! Everyone will be staring at you! Everyone will watch you lose your breath, turn red, sweat, before 5 minutes is up! Aren't you already an embarrassment to yourself?"

Even worse, I can't even find the confidence to work out at home if my fiance (who lives with me) is in the apartment with me.

When he goes into work I can sneak in a workout, but lots of times I think, "Whats the point? Nothing ever works for me."

Food and Drink is my other failure with weight, when I am hungry, it's urgent, and I'll take what I can get. Which usually is fast food or frozen meals (not typically "low fat" ones either) chips, snacks, .. anything. I don't eat a lot at once, but I eat a lot during the day many times a day. I drink soda, and the taste of water nearly makes me sick, but I can and do drink it if I am REALLY thirsty (like after I exercise, WHEN I exercise that is). I drink tea too, but not really much else. I am big on carbs, but not really a big meat-eater.

Basically- I do everything wrong. I know I should exercise, drink water, and not eat the foods I eat, but part of me doesn't want to stop. What if I put all that effort into it, and gain 10 pounds? Is it possible to be more depressed?

If anyone has ever been in my condition or you still are, and wants to give advice, please help me. I think I know what to do, but I need a helping hand to actually .... do it, for once.

04-01-2002, 09:52 AM
First off, no one is hopeless, but I understand, I have felt that way too.

I would suggest that you try to take it one day at the time. Plan your meals ahead of time and eat before you are so hungry that you eat out of control. Reward yourself for getting through one day. You can do it.


04-01-2002, 10:49 AM
I wish I could help you, it sounds like you are in quite a state.

First of all if you go to the gym it is most likely that no one is watching you. Most people are more concerned with their own workout than to spend time watching others or if they are I really doubt that they would be thinking anything like you wrote. Likely they would be hoping that you are successful in your efforts.

Secondly it sounds like you are afraid to lose weight. A lot of us think that losing weight will solve all our other problems and it won't. We'll still have the same problems, financial, emotional or whatever we'll just be in better health to face them. Thin people have lots of problems too.

Finally I would like to echo Asta who said to take one day at a time. Make a plan of what you are going to eat and do your best to stick with it. have you ever thought of Weight Watchers? I don't do it myself but it seems to work for a lot of people.

Keep coming back to 3FC, join one of the groups who post regularly, it really helps to come here and post your problems, frustrations, hopes and dreams. Good luck and take care.

04-01-2002, 11:35 AM
Honey, you need an ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! If you have yourself convinced that you are hopeless, you have pretty much sealed your fate! You are the only one who can do something to change your circumstances...start with ONE THING for a day and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment: omit the soda, take a walk, make an effort to eat well, and STOP MAKING EXCUSES!

"Well, I'm fat anyways, whats ice cream gonna do?"
** Make you fatter, of course!

"I tell myself "Your fat butt can't go to the gym! Everyone will be staring at you! Everyone will watch you lose your breath, turn red, sweat, before 5 minutes is up! Aren't you already an embarrassment to yourself?"
**You mean you WON'T go to the gym and these are just excuses...most people are there because they are trying to improve themselves, not to look at other people...AND, they are all red and sweaty too!

"Whats the point? Nothing ever works for me."
**It doen't sound like you've given much of anything a chance TO work. Nothing will EVER work if you don't give it a chance.

"Basically- I do everything wrong. I know I should exercise, drink water, and not eat the foods I eat, but part of me doesn't want to stop. What if I put all that effort into it, and gain 10 pounds? Is it possible to be more depressed?"
**If you put all that effort into it, you won't gain 10 lbs, plain and simple.

I think if you give yourself a chance, take it ONE DAY AT A TIME...enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that doing someting for yourself can bring...

I don't mean to come off harshly, but self pity and whining are not going to get you anywhere!! Give yourself a chance! You deserve it!

Good luck to you!

04-01-2002, 01:37 PM
I posted this on another thread and thought it might be appropriate here too...

You start the longest journey by placing one foot in front of the other. The tallest mountains have been conquered by men who literally inched their way to the summits. Whatever your goal, it will yield to the same approach; one step at a time.
- Michael Gore

Best wishes to you on your journey!

04-01-2002, 05:46 PM
asta, I was thinking about you when I was out walking/jogging today. A couple of girls went by me on roller blades and I thought of you talking about feeling embarrassed at the gym because you think people look at you. Well these girls didn't give me a look at all even though I was sweaty and practically gasping for breath. Even if they had I wouldn't have cared. It has taken me a long time to get to this point where I have the motivation to lose weight. When you get to this point you won't care about what anybody else thinks. It may take you awhile but you'll get there. Do your best, that's all anyone can ask.

04-01-2002, 06:08 PM
Wow.....you sure seem extremely down on yourself.....as if being overweight wasnt enough...then with your way of thinking it must make it nearly impossible to get yourself in that motivated state of mind to lose the weight......but I know it does get aggrivating....you just have to have faith in yourself that YOU WILL reach your goal.....if you just believe in yourself....you can do anything!!!

Who cares if others look at you while your huffing and puffing....at least your showing them that your trying to make your life healthier at all cost.....and being SKINNY doesnt make you healthy....some people are SKINNY because they are unhealthy and sick......so go slowly and take your time......and worry about what you think of yourself.......!!!

I used to always wonder what other people thought of me....and now I have come to the conclusion...that what matters most is ME and what I think of myself.....and I know I will feel so much better when I can hold my chin up at its highest and say...." I MADE MY GOAL AND DAMN I LOOK GOOD"....

So, take each day as it comes and if you slip up one day...big deal....move past that slip and make the next day a new start......!!!

Good Luck....LisaL

04-02-2002, 08:44 PM
Thank you all for showing support and giving advice, I decided that what I was thinking were indeed excuses, and I don't need to put myself in a worse condition for health reasons at least.

I know its not much yet, but as a start I decided to only have one snack a day, from there I'll keep adding things on. I won't see results as fast as others this way but hopefully if I change things slowly enough, my body and mind can adjust and slowly fit into a new habit.

Since the weathers getting nice I'll throw in a easy paced walk once a day after I get used to just snacking once a day ( I used to basically snack ALL day and not eat proper meals).

Getting rid of soda will be the hardest part for me! Can anyone relate?

04-03-2002, 07:56 AM
How about diet soda? Or flavored seltzer? These have a lot of sodium in them, though. I just drink the water. All day long I keep refilling my big cup. Sometimes I put a lemon wedge in it, add a little equal and you have lemonade! I just read somewhere that adding lemon to your water twice a day helps to detoxify the liver, thereby making it easier to lose weight...I just like the taste! So that's a bonus!

Good luck on making your gradual changes...baby steps will get you there too!

04-03-2002, 01:49 PM
Hi Twice Shy
I know exactly where your coming from.. I been in your shoes alot!!!!!
But I finally realized one thing.. I was so worried about what people thought of me then what I thought of me.. Then I decided I would grab the weight bull by the horns and take that sucka down!!!!
I did gradual changes at first .. replacing soda with my favorite flavored carbonated water from walmart no calorie NO sodium. (If I cant make it to wal mart, Shop and Save also carries it.. )
I replaced regular sugar with a substitute sugar. Splenda doesnt give a aftertaste as Sweet and low does but I still use sweet n low
My flavored coffee creamer I switched to a low fat version of the same thing.. It taste great to me..
If chocolate is a demon of your there is a hard candy sugar free that I absolutely LOVE it is Baskin Robbins Mint chocolat chip it does have 40 calories a peice but it is heaven for my crvings..
There is a few things I have done that works for me.. As for exercise I usally walk either outside but lately I have been using Leslie Samone Walk Away the Pounds video (9.99 at barnes and Noble in my state )
No one loses weight overnight this is a journey , a lifestyle change, it will take time and patience. Just keep reading posts and jump in a thread if a group seems motivating to you.. Post questions and concerns that you want answers for
And remember
NO ONE IS HOPELESS nor HELPLESS.. some just need a bigger kick in the pants from time to time to add the support they need..
Coming to this site is your first step in a long journey and we here will back you 110%
Take Care

04-03-2002, 02:37 PM
Hear hear! Great advice, Sheila!

One question...do you get those candies AT Baskin Robbins? There's one nearby, but ice cream is a MAJOR weakness for me...I try to avoid ice cream parlors at all costs! I just might venture in to grab a bag of those candies, though!

Venus Envy
04-04-2002, 10:41 AM
Ohmigod, I can soooooo relate! A couple of years ago, I weighed more than 300 pounds. My arthritis was so bad that I was using a cane, my spine was stressed, and the thought of walking into a gym literally made me cry.

Then, when my daughter (the one who couldn't wash a dish because she was afraid she might break a nail) joined the navy and went off to boot camp, I realized that if she could spend 9 weeks climbing, running, marching, cleaning, and doing push-ups ... *I* could survive a few weeks of Weight Watchers!

And I started to walk, too. Just 10 or 20 minutes in the mornings at first, then more and more as it got easier and I began to really enjoy it.

After a while, I realized that I could do more than just walk for myself: I could help raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society by walking -- and also meet new people, set new goals for myself, take my daughter to Disney World for my first marathon, improve my health, feel better about my body and myself ... all while helping fight blood-related cancers!!

At 242 pounds, I was the fattest woman to finish the Disney World Marathon -- all 26.2 miles of it. But nobody ever treated me as anything but an athlete. An athlete -- me?!??!!? What a cool thought!!

I'm a food addict. It's still a struggle, every single day. I do what a lot of the women in this forum have suggested -- writing down what I eat, keeping healthy snacks around, cleaning out the junk food from my cupboards, coming here to 3fatchicks.com for the support of others who are struggling, too.

You can do this!! And you're worth doing it for. You seem bright, caring, articulate, and intuitive. You express yourself very well! Reach out for the help you need -- there are some amazing people here on these boards. And now you're one of us!

(( welcome! )) and twelve kabillion kinds of good wishes!

04-04-2002, 11:07 AM
Hi All
Kat , no I get those hard candies at any supermarket although I been buying mine at the dollar tree store near my house. I never been in a real Baskin Robbins and I hope to never drive near one either.. ( i like ice cream tooo much as well) :devil:
Venus you have always inspired me to get my rear in gear and for that I thank you..
TwiceShy WELCOME once again hope to see your posts soon
Take Care All

04-05-2002, 04:33 AM
I just wanted to thank you so much for the warm welcome and support, it was just what I needed, I'm a little sick of chronically thin people telling me what to do, it's easier hearing advice from people who actually went through my pain, or are going through it now.

Just to update, I am walking with my fiance around the property we live (a townhouse complex, nice area to walk), and I'm still eating normal meals with only one snack (If needed). The walks are great and I can actually feel that my heartrate is up and I got myself pumping a bit, even though I'm just walking briskly and not galloping with weights dangling all over me.

I used to nibble at my meals, which were generally healthy enough when I actually made them, because I was so filled up on (fattening) snacks which I ate before the meal! So without snacking, I eat a normal meal and I eat more of it during the meal so I'm not hungry 2 hours later for bad stuff (chips, cookies, you get the idea!).

I'm still nervous about the gym thing, and still shy about going out in public, but its getting better, and the way I'm living my life this past week has made me feel one step closer to my goals and a lot less guilty and ashamed... now if someone asks me what I had for lunch, the answer wont be a blush and "potato chips."

I'm not ready to change what I eat/drink when I sit down to a normal meal, and when I give myself one snack a day its still something thats not a great idea, but its only a bit of it compared to munching the bad snacks all day. I'll be working on those types of things just a little later on. I dislike diet soda, but I have tried flavored healthier sodas so I might buy a few of those when I start rearranging my fridge and pantry. And those hard candies are a great idea too, I'll check the calories on some that I know I like, and have some laying around to discourage me from fattening sweets. (I memorized the recipes for cakes, time to forget them.)

I'll keep you guys updated...