Weight Loss Support - reaching out....help me guys please!




PrettyPaula
08-09-2008, 05:20 PM
I dont know whats wrong with me, i cannot get back on track, i just fail every time i try, like i am not even managing one day of being on plan. i feel so awful! completely useless!!!

Help!


Iconised Ghost
08-09-2008, 05:22 PM
you are not useless, you have already lost 6 pounds so if you were useless you would never have lost any at all ;) Maybe you need to take a few steps back in your plan, allow yourself a little of what you are wanting, and gradually work your way back to being completely on plan

JayEll
08-09-2008, 05:23 PM
Hey PrettyPaula. OK, deep breath! Whew! Tell us more about what's going on. Maybe we can do some troubleshooting with you. What's your program, where is it that you're having the problem, what do you think might be happening, etc.

Jay


PrettyPaula
08-09-2008, 05:26 PM
okay so im slacking off with coming here, because im getting disheartened with seeing everyone elses losses so much quicker than mine, im kicking myseld because if only id not had some off plan times i could be further along.

My elliptical trainer has arrived, its all built and im scared to use it.

im failing to plan, i *know* thats my issue, im scared that im so big im never gonna get any lower and to tell the truth i'm just so demotivated. it takes me a month to lose 3 pounds, but a week to put 5 on.

i feel like i will never get there. no matter how much i want it.

Iconised Ghost
08-09-2008, 05:37 PM
i feel the same way, i wonder if i should work harder so i can lose as fast as everyone else. And i always think "if i hadnt had that pie, if i had started this sooner, etc" But you know, everyone is different, and you cant change the past. Gotta keep moving forwards!

Why are you scared to use your elliptical?

I am aiming to lose about 1/2 kg a week. Thats about 4 pounds a month. So thats not a lot different to what you were losing, maybe we are normal after all :D

:hug: you will get there!

WebRover
08-09-2008, 05:52 PM
You can get back on track. I know you can.
Don't worry about other folks losing quicker. This is not a race. You are not competing with anyone. It's not even a race with yourself. You are making changes in the way you're going to eat for the rest of your life. Some of the process is about trying things and really learning that they don't work.
Three pounds a month is awesome by the way. I try not to have expectations about how much to lose over time since that is just an opportunity for disappointment if I can't meet it. You can control being on track. You can't control how much or when you lose.

So if being on track for one day is too much to take on - how about for the next meal or the next three hours, or just the next bite?

Go ahead and plan the next meal or day and make sure you have on hand what you need for meals and snacks.

And you've gotten yourself an eliptical. That's wonderful. Why are you afraid to use it, don't know how it works? Not sure how it will be to adjust to it? Afraid you won't commit the time to it? Once you know how to use it, go ahead and use it for two minutes. Then you'll have the experience to assess how you want to move forward with it.

Go ahead, you can be on track for your next meal or snack. Then tell us how it went. We have faith in you. You can do it.

preetyladyserenity
08-09-2008, 05:58 PM
I sometimes feel that people loose weight faster than I. With my PCOs the norm for me is 3 lbs a month, sometime lower to 2.5 lbs a month. I don't remember ever reading your weight loss program, so I am not really sure if this will work with you but it has worked with me in the past as I am counting calories. When I come back from vacation, I tend to make a schedule of what I am going to eat every day for the next 3 weeks. So I buy only the amount of food I am going to eat that week and have nothing extra to go off track. After 3 weeks my brain goes back to health style mode and I start again.

Also I would love to know the reason you are scared of the elliptical. To be honest, I am a bit jealous, I wish I could afford one.

I think you should just think it as 1 lb at a time rather than the whole amount you got to loose. Be happy for every little insignificant lb and I am sure you will go down very quickly. :hug:

:cheer::dust::cheer:

bargoo
08-09-2008, 06:04 PM
We all have days like you are having, I know I have had many. Keep in mind what you want to accomplish and do you really want to stay where you are?

Sweetcaroline
08-09-2008, 06:39 PM
I dont know whats wrong with me, i cannot get back on track, i just fail every time i try, like i am not even managing one day of being on plan. i feel so awful! completely useless!!!

Help!

Hi Paula,
I'm sorry you are having a hard time.. I know how impossible it can be to get thru that first couple of days. Maybe getting back to basics again, perhaps some mega-organization and planning might work, you know, the cleaning of the kitchen, cabinets etc. Throwing out the 'bad' stuff if any... make a list and do a little shopping, maybe try a new fruit or veggie... I've had a hard time of it lately too and that seemed to help me...
You have the determination in you Paula... I know you do ... YOU CAN DO THIS...

JayEll
08-09-2008, 06:41 PM
My elliptical trainer has arrived, its all built and im scared to use it.


I guess we're all interested in what the fear is. If you're afraid you'll get hurt, or do too much, then make a deal with yourself that you'll get on it and do only 10 minutes on the lowest setting. That's all you need to do for the first time--or even the second or third! You're in charge! :yes:

im failing to plan, i *know* thats my issue, im scared that im so big im never gonna get any lower and to tell the truth i'm just so demotivated. it takes me a month to lose 3 pounds, but a week to put 5 on.

Gosh, PrettyPaula, I think you'll find many 3FC members who were larger than you are and still have lost successfully. So it cannot be impossible for you! Just keep in mind that it will always take longer to take pounds off than to put them on. It's just the nature of things. But without a plan of some sort, you're just taking a chance every day...

i feel like i will never get there. no matter how much i want it.

If you want it, you will find a way. Yes: you will find a way. But you have to try to find a way--it's not going to just happen. If you want it, you will find a way to make a plan that you can realistically stay with--even if it's for just one day to start. If you want it, you will find a way to learn how to use your elliptical. If you want it, you will find a way to not eat foods you know you shouldn't be eating. There are no deep dark secrets to it other than these!

But, think for a moment. Is there any reason why you might not want it? Just something to consider...

Don't give up, PrettyP! Don't give up! :hug:

Jay

GradPhase
08-09-2008, 07:34 PM
I noticed you were missing in action, Paula! Don't beat yourself up! Forgive the step back, and take a step forward.

yoyoma
08-09-2008, 07:34 PM
I started diets a number of times in the past (though I'm trying to get out of *that* habit!). I often find it easiest to (re)start by choosing very small goals (e.g, taking supplements regularly, drinking a certain amount of water, whatever). Having those small successes under my belt helps psych me up for bigger things. And it's helpful to get those habits down pat so that I don't have to spend the effort to make lots of changes simultaneously.

ladybugnessa
08-09-2008, 07:51 PM
paula,

i lose about half a pound a week. but it takes me three months to see that.

I weigh exactly what I weighed in June now. but by the end of the month i'll see a tiny loss...

if i lost any slower i'd stand still. in fact, it often feels like standing still.

maybe you need a different plan?

EZMONEY
08-09-2008, 08:36 PM
Get back here and take it one day at a time kiddo...there is no magic cure...you have to move forward....to start....it is as simple as that.

CountingDown
08-09-2008, 09:37 PM
Paula - OK, breathe - you CAN do this. I KNOW you can. Remember when you were coming here every day and posting and losing? You absolutely can do this. You have all of the keys to success. Jump back on the accountability thread and post every day. Get on that wonderful new machine and just go. You will love it. They really are a lot of fun :)

I'm expecting to see tomorrow's post from you that says you have exercised and stayed OP.
:hug:
I am looking forward to your fun posts and your success stories!

i am still trying
08-09-2008, 09:56 PM
Paula, you are feeling what we all have felt or are feeling. Thank you to all those who have given suggestions. Sometimes I think that it is easier to 'stay on plan' when I am not thinking about it so much. And the only way that I dont think about it so much is when I'm not really on a restrictive plan. hmmmm, I agree with everyone: take a step back and stary again with one thing. For instance, go to the gym OR make sure you dinner is nutritious.
I know its soooo much easier to say than do, why else would we all be here?

lifechange
08-09-2008, 10:29 PM
Hey Paula, I can feel your frustration. Step back and let go of the pressure. You only have 35 lbs to go! That is amazing- even if you lose really slowly- by next summer there is no question you will be at goal. Some of us are losing faster probably because of our personality. Type A-intensity- which is great but it can be our downfall as well. It is probably why I got so much heavier than you in the first place. I can eat with the same intensity that I am exercising with now. We aren't all the same. My husband has wanted to lose weight and has more incentive to do so (type 2 diabetes) but he is laid back so he took his time to get started and now that he has started his intensity is much lower than mine but he will lose.
I would steer clear of the elliptical for now- go for walks or set really small goals for yourself on the elliptical. Go on it for 5 min twice a day. This way you aren't dreading getting on it and you won't be letting yourself down by not going for 30 min. Eventually you will want to do more because you will feel such an increase in energy after doing it. I bet if you start doing this slowly you will get to the point you are losing at least 1 lb/week.
You can do this!!!!!

Mrs Snark
08-10-2008, 09:55 AM
Aw girl!

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You can do it, you can get back on plan! I know you can. You have to push through that demotivated feeling and write out a detailed plan and follow it. Before you know it, you'll be feeling enthusiastic again!

KLK
08-10-2008, 10:05 AM
I hear you -- I keep getting "stuck" at my current size and weight (186lbs) for the last 3 years. I regain 10 lbs, lose it and oops... I'm stuck again! It is SO frustrating to give it your all and then get no results, or extremely slow results. What I do now, is focus on how I FEEL when I eat right and exercise -- even if you don't lose an ounce, you must feel better after you workout, and eating healthy foods must make you feel better than eating junk.

Personally, I feel gross and tired when I don't workout and energentic and good when I do. When I eat natural, healthy foods, my digestion is better, I feel "clean", when I eat cr@p my digestion gets irregular and I get stomach aches sometimes.

Try to focus on how you feel when yo do the right things for yourself, and not on the weightloss itself.

okay so im slacking off with coming here, because im getting disheartened with seeing everyone elses losses so much quicker than mine, im kicking myseld because if only id not had some off plan times i could be further along.

My elliptical trainer has arrived, its all built and im scared to use it.

im failing to plan, i *know* thats my issue, im scared that im so big im never gonna get any lower and to tell the truth i'm just so demotivated. it takes me a month to lose 3 pounds, but a week to put 5 on.

i feel like i will never get there. no matter how much i want it.

walking2lose
08-10-2008, 10:13 AM
An idea -- sit down with a notebook and make a list of your goals (not big unrealistic goals like lose 40 lbs by Christmas, but small achievable goals). List some realistic strategies. Make a dream board if you have time (collage with pics, cut outs from magazines, inspiring quotes, etc.). Hang your goals and collage in a visible place.

You CAN do this.

thistoo
08-10-2008, 10:47 AM
Hey, stranger. Listen, I used to waste a lot of energy being jealous of the people who lost so much faster than me. I let it get to me so much at one point that I stopped coming here at all, and then I stopped really trying to lose weight, and I maintained for a year. And maintaining was great, but if I'd just found a way around my plateau by asking for suggestions here, maybe I'd be at goal by now. So it's really counterproductive to compare yourself to other people.

Sometimes even now I catch myself looking at someone else's ticker, thinking "she started WHEN?" and getting disheartened. But then I remind myself of all that time I wasted, and I remind myself of how far I've come, and it stops bothering me.

You know what to do. You've done it before, and now you've just got to dig deep and do it again. Write down your goals, then write down a food plan and a schedule, even if it's just for one day, and stick with it. Before you know it, it'll be a habit again. I know you can do this. You were losing a lot faster than me last time around. ;)

Tomato
08-10-2008, 01:37 PM
Hi Paula,

I thought of you last week and wondered what happened since you haven't been posting much since your return from vacation.
Your new elliptical has arrived? Yay! That's awesome, so get changed into some nice workout clothes, turn some good music on and hop on it! And after you have sweated on it for at least a half hour, make yourself a nice bubble bath and then relax.

It's always hard to get back on plan and to exercise after a little slippage, I have had my share of maybe not exactly unhealthy choices but simply too much food this past week. But that's history now and it's time to return to the scheduled program. My TOM finally arrived with a bang and although I was somewhat hung over from the SINGLE glass of red wine that I had last night in a combined celebration of my bday and a 30 lbs loss. I had to laugh in spite of being miserable and crampy - a hangover from ONE glass of wine? But I haven't had a drop of alcohol since February. And I really really really did not want to but I forced to get myself on the treadmill for my usual run. I did cut it a bit short because the pounding on it was making my headache worse but at least I did not skip. I don't know what motivates you ...... find something and think of it and get on that elliptical!

And don't compare yourself to other people in terms of the speed of weight loss. Sometimes, I feel myself like I should have done a better job when I read stories how people started to diet or exercise and lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks, but then I remind myself that I am here for a long slow trip and I am, in fact, very comfortable with my slow weight loss. Even if my net loss was only 3 lbs a month (that's over a 1 kg), I would be happy about it. Anything above that is just bonus.

PrettyPaula
08-11-2008, 06:57 AM
thankyou so much everyone for your words of encouragement and sense!

last night i had a very healthy dinner, this morning im feeling a little unwell so ive not had much to eat but ive already got some chicken out for dinner, and i can pick some green beans from my garden to have with it.

Ive increased my water intake to... i need to do this gradually and get back to where i was mentally a few months ago. I'm just finding alot of stuff tough right now, and i am run down, i keep getting infection after infection and its making me miserable.

i guess im scared of the elliptical because it is SOOO huge and i look ridiculous on it. i have my new ipod so im gonna just bite the bullet this afternoon and get at least 20 minutes in!

thanks again for being there and well done everyone on how far youve all come!

Kofarq
08-11-2008, 11:56 AM
Pretty Paula, I'm so glad you're feeling better! I've missed you on 3FC, you're so funny and upbeat! When I first started on the elliptical, it felt really awkward and I could only go on it for like 10 minutes set on the lowest setting! You can do it!

kittycat40
08-11-2008, 12:15 PM
:hug: hi paula :D
always nice to see you. thanks for being so honest. I can feel cr@p, sometimes regularly. use the chicks here. They rock.
:) :hug: :hug:

Kitty

Spoz
08-11-2008, 01:26 PM
Paula you are one of the strongest most optimistic people on these boards! It breaks my herat to see you thinking like this, especially as I know that you can do this. I've been here longer than you and I've lost three lbs...but you know, its not how much you lose or how long it takes you. It's about learning about yourself and becoming healthy. You're doing great, you just need to learn how to motivate yourself again.

You can do this.. I have faith in you and look at all of these other birdies offering you support, they believe in you too... C'mon :hug: