40-Somethings - newbie, glad to find all of you

View Full Version : newbie, glad to find all of you

08-06-2008, 03:39 PM

First post! I am 42, and (gulp) now weigh in at 219. This is almost the highest I've ever been, and more than when I was 9 months pregnant with my eldest (now 15). It seems that midlife has just packed on the poundage.

A few years ago, I was around 210, and went down to 180 using the methods in Oprah's book "Make the connection". It worked, but the exercise expectations were just too extreme. I would up with injuries from working out intensely 7 days a week. Also, the food habits just didn't "stick", so I inched my way back up again.

I tend to eat when bored and stressed which is something I really have to work on. Right now, I am working to figure out exactly what works for ME, not Oprah. I think the basic ideas in the book are sound, but I need to figure out a way to take the realities of my life into account. I don't have a personal trainer, or a personal chef! Whatever I do really has to work in real life.

So far, I'm paying attention to what I eat, when and why. I'm exercising 4-5 times/week on a stair step machine. I also found a cool hypnosis cd that I'm giving a whirl for August. Can't hurt. Might help. What the heck. Might as well get my unconscious onboard.

Anyhow, I'm glad to have found the site and all of you.

hopefuldreamer :carrot:

08-06-2008, 04:03 PM
Welcome hopeful.

You've made a good choice coming here. You will get lots of support on here.

We have a nice chat thread, you should pop in and get to know everyone.

Good luck with your weight loss.

08-06-2008, 07:02 PM
Thanks for the welcome! I've been popping in and out of various threads, trying to see where I fit in the big scheme of the board.

Just to admit that I could really use some support is a lot. It's been a long road to even admit the problem.

I caught myself yesterday, after a stressful conversation with my mother. I just wanted to MUNCH! Gee... ya think the stress and the munchies might be related?

Ah... such is life I suppose.


08-06-2008, 11:06 PM
Welcome Hopeful!!

I've also got a problem with wanting to eat when I'm stressed and/or bored. It does get better (more control-able) as you start changing some of your habits and patterns, it seems. You took a big step facing your issues and talking about them - congratulations! You can do this! And we're all here to help.


08-09-2008, 08:04 PM
hi,I'll throw in my 2 cents:-) stress,boredom,feeling bad,feeling glad,all "reasons" to eat. I am working on developing the habit of focusing on the food and taking small bites. It is helping me cut down my intake. I am suprised at how fast I can eat then feel icky later,eating on the run is a hard habit to break.
I'm so glad this place is here to share and find support and ideas!

08-09-2008, 10:26 PM
Welcome and I think we are all in the same boat. :dizzy: I sit here and shake my head in agreement with almost every post I read so what better way than to become friends and great motivational supporters to each other ! :hug:
We have our good days and our bad days, we are human. Like today...........I slept in, jumped out of bed and started the usual saturday morning cleaning, was not hungry so I kept on going until I realized it was 2pm and starting to feel a bit dizzy. I quickly ate a yogurt but I was not hungry for anything else. So of course this will probably throw me off for the next couple of days. It is now almost 9:30pm, no one has been home all day and I didn't have to cook so now I am making a cup of tea.
What do you do on days like this?

08-10-2008, 01:11 PM
it is hard to do the three meals and two to three snacks when eating alone.I can relate to not feeling hungry for anything during the day. I want a huge bowl of ice cream about 9 pm on those days.The stratagy I've been using is the make something,sit down at the table,or like now at my desk, and focus on the bites,chewing and swallow so I stop before I wolf down a too large portion just because it is in front of me.
Best wishes!

08-10-2008, 08:32 PM
Hi 2mchme and Suzy,

Whoa, can I relate. It's good to know that others struggle with stress/boredom eating. At this point, I am working on becoming more aware of when/why I want to munch.

I was at a potluck picnic today. Had one medium sized piece of fried chicken, a bunch of salad, and a small piece of my own zucchini cake. After I was finished, I thought to myself that if I let myself, I could easily have snarfed up a couple more pieces of chicken and not even batted an eye.

But I didn't. I just mentally noted the feeling, and moved on. I think that saying "no chicken at all" would have backfired in the long run. If I had limited myself to only salads, I would have been hungry later and probably pigged out at home. So... I guess that's something. Growing awareness.

I'm done eating for the night. No evening eating. That's a habit I think I can form and stick with. It's chilly here tonight (feels like fall), so I might have a cup of unsweetened herbal tea later, but that's it.

group hug!


08-11-2008, 11:04 PM
Hopefuldreamer, welcome! I'm pretty much a "newbie" too. I joined awhile ago, but drifted away before very long and have only just returned.

I don't really eat "unhealthy" things, but too many "healthy" things - especially late at night - pack on the weight. I'm trying to switch my meal consumption to a heavier emphasis on a bigger meal for breakfast, medium for lunch, and a small one for dinner so I'm not as hungry at the end of the day. (Besides research that I have read about this, I noticed this is how my skinny-as-a-beanpole 7 year old eats.) I have not found this as easy to do as it sounds. In the past, I've tended to miss my breakfast meal the most often and stuff lunch in my mouth during my 10 minute break at work. (My very fit 7 year old is also a "pokey" eater...and I'm using her for my guide in this too by trying not finish my meal before she does.) I know my eating habits are unhealthy, even though the food I choose is "healthy" and it is those habits I'm really trying to focus on.

My husband cooks most of our dinners because I commute quite a ways, and his dinners are usually higher in calories than I would make for myself. That has not been a good combination...me very hungry at night, stressed from a long day at work, and his gourmet cooking waiting for me. I have also noticed I tend to grab things during the day to snack on when I feel upset or stressed.

To discourage the "why don't you just finish that, there's not enough for later..." at dinner - both for me and my husband who also needs to lose weight - I'm putting away my plate as soon as I finish my meal and I have also begun packing up any of the extra food and putting it away before anyone can start nibbling on extra helpings they don't need.

I've also decided to start carrying or wearing a set of beads on my person and using them to pray on whenever I feel stressed rather than grabbing for something to put in my mouth.

It's too early to tell if any of this will make a difference, but I have noticed that I don't feel as hungry at night as I used to and I did manage not to snack today after getting some upsetting news... so I'm hopeful it will make a difference. We shall see.

08-12-2008, 10:04 AM
I like the bead idea. Religious connotations aside, you've chosen something that engages both your brain and your hands. From what I read, the evening eating is a really critical habit to break.

Good job, creative you! :carrot:


08-12-2008, 10:58 AM
Is it too late to say hello and to tell you all that I really appreciated this thread?!

Hope to see you all around 3FC!

08-12-2008, 12:29 PM
I like the bead idea. Religious connotations aside, you've chosen something that engages both your brain and your hands. hopefuldreamer

Thanks! Even if you were to choose an affirmation or favorite quote and used it to say on each bead, it would still work. Beads for meditation or prayer, depending on your personal beliefs, are wonderfully calming. I've used them for meditative prayer before, but it never occured to me until recently that I could also try to use them to fight those emotional munchies.

I've decided to make them in the form of a bracelet that I can wear since I frequently don't have pockets. Plus, lots of people wear bracelets they "play with" so if I start using them it will be inconspicuous. Planning on making it later today.

08-13-2008, 08:47 AM
Beads have been used by many traditions. I'm aware of Buddhists, Catholics, Neopagans, and UUs using beads in various forms. I'm sure there are more traditions out there that I'm just not aware of.

I think it's a terrific idea that can be easily adapted to work with any (or no particular) faith.


08-13-2008, 08:49 AM
Thank you for the kind words, Beth. We're all in this together.

hugs :hug:,