100 lb. Club - Thinking it's time to be back




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NESunshine
08-04-2008, 11:18 AM
Hey all, Thank you for all of your wonderful messages. I just wanted to drop in and say hello. I am doing well. Not perfect, but well. I am feeling more in control of things now...my whole life seemed to be in this hideous spiral before and I had been letting stress and depression and really, alcohol, get the best of me.

Anyway I've been still going to yoga, which is something that has been helping me cope, mentally, physically and even spiritually...which is a big step for a mostly un-spiritual person - can't wait for my class tonight. I'm in a place now where I'm ok with not drinking. The first couple of weeks were awful I went through some bad withdrawals (yes that is how much I was drinking) and cravings. I still get them here and there but the are not as bad. Much worse than any food withdrawls or cravings I've ever had. I was a sad awful mess. I've actually proved myself wrong now though and have managed to go out places and not drink...I really can order diet coke or water...I even went to a bachelorette and for the first time in my life I went to a bar, didn't get wasted and didn't even spend a dollar. I drank water the whole night...wow what a different perspective closing time is when you are the sober one. By the end of it after i had been knocked into and had beer dumped on me I came to the realization that I'm definitely done with the 'closing down the bar' chapter in my life.

I'm about 2 months into it now. I'm not completely sober, I have had a couple of beers here and there but the more days I wake up sober and not hung over the more I want that to continue. I'll maybe have a Friday night beer but I can't have a Tuesday night 3 bottles of wine. I've decided that I've always been able to handle a couple of beers.. they kind of fill me up...but am no longer willing or able to have any sort of wine or liquor. I have no mental control over how much I am drinking and just keep throwing it back until i fall down. No more.

I hit the actual gym this past weekend...it's been close to 2 months out of the actual gym...and I'm sore but it's worth it. Anyway. Working on being better and back on track. Definitely in a place where I think I can start thinking about weight loss and lifestyle and begin posting again.

Feels good to be back!


Jen415
08-04-2008, 11:30 AM
It takes courage to share this with us here....thank you for doing so....

Big hugs to you!

fiberlover
08-04-2008, 11:33 AM
:hug:

Welcome back!!


NESunshine
08-04-2008, 11:45 AM
Thanks Jen. Honesty is always my best policy. I couldn't continue to lie to myself or anyone else about what was really going on...and really it was getting kind of hard to hide. This is not a first time for this and I know where that road leads and it's not one I want to travel down again. Not coming clean about everything...whether myself or anyone else wanted to hear it would just have kept the cycle going.

Fiberlover woah! You look great!

I've decided like along with starting fresh every day without drinking, and taking every day with food in stride I would clean slate my journey. I've reset my tickers and my goals as if this was the beginning all over again. As if this was my starting weight, not where I was 2 years ago (about 20lbs heavier) I've put in a more attainable goal of 160 and when I get there I will reassess that goal. We all fall down, and sometimes it's hard but the most important thing is that you pick yourself back up.

Starting small, I'm going to aim for 10lbs by labor day...and for today...I am going to not snack on any candy or chocolate in my marketing department at work...I'm not even going in there!

GirlyGirlSebas
08-04-2008, 11:46 AM
Welcome back, Sunshine! So glad to hear that you're winning the battle.

Lyn2007
08-04-2008, 12:33 PM
So good to have you back! Stay strong.

valpal23
08-04-2008, 12:41 PM
:hug:

Slashnl
08-04-2008, 04:34 PM
Great to see you post again, Sunshine! You've been missed, but I understand why you had to take a break. I'm glad to hear of your successes!

beautifulone
08-04-2008, 06:47 PM
It takes courage to share this with us here....thank you for doing so....

Big hugs to you!

Exactly what Jen said, she said it so well. :hug:

mj5
08-04-2008, 07:46 PM
Welcome back!