Weight Loss Support - Back from vacation -- feeling *DISGUSTING*




KLK
08-02-2008, 05:39 PM
I just came back from a 4 day vacation yesterday evening and I feel totally disgusting and hopeless today *sigh*

We went to way upstate NY to this wonderful farm for rescued factory farm animals (SO SWEET and SO friendly and amazing!!). Anyway, I had assued beforehand that since we'd be surrounded by vegetable farms and fresh food, we'd have lots of great eating options and that I could find fresh and well-made foods... I was wrong. It was basically one gross, greasy meal after the next (except for our daily morning vegan breakfast). I also thought we'd be doing more exercising and moving around than we actually did -- we drove EVERYWHERE bc you can't walk -- it's isolated and everything is miles and miles away. With the exception of one day spent at a beautiful state park, I basically sat on my @ss all day for 4 days.

We're back now, and I am bloated and I feel SO SO SO disgusting. I know what I have to do is get right back on plan -- my eating today has been good so far -- and I need to start working out again, do some strength training and then some cardio, but I just feel SOOOOO discouraged and hopeless and absolutely disgusting in every way.

On top of everything else, I spent the last 4 days feeling like a total fat, ugly beast. My self-esteem was totally shot all vacation for some reason and I still feel like a disgusting beast right now. I spent entire days of the vacation complaining to my fiance ab how fat I am and how hopeless I feel -- I almost had a hissy fit, in public, after looking at a picture he took of me. I just feel totally hopeless right now -- I don't even know what the point is of trying anymore or of getting married or anything else in life -- I feel like a disgusting freak doomed to a life sentence of obesity and unhappiness with how I look.

I'm sorry to rant and be depressive but I need to vent. AND I need people to kick me in my @ss and tell me to stop it and put aside these feelings and just work out and plow through and get back on plan.


lynnm39
08-02-2008, 05:49 PM
KLK, I'm not sure I have any major words of wisdom, but please don't be so hard on yourself. Think of how far you've come. Four measley days doesn't wipe that away, and it seems as if you are getting back on track, which is commendable. I completely relate to your point about the pictures. At least you looked at the picture. I am currently on vacation (just checking in for my 3fatchicks fix!), and my sister took a picture of me today. I told her to delete it (she has a digital camera) before I even looked at it. I know I'll be depressed if I look at it.

If it's any consolation, I think it's rare that anyone stays completely "on plan" during vacation. I, too, have eaten more than I would like, and I'm only on day five of a nine-day vacation! I realized something the other day, though: I am not going to let this derail me. This time, my plan is for life, so if I fall of the wagon, I plan to get right back on. And I can see that you're doing the same.

I think you're doing great!

KLK
08-02-2008, 06:48 PM
Hi Lynn -- Thank you for your reply. You're right, of course lol. A committment to lose weight HAS TO BE more than just a "diet" -- it's changing your lifestyle AND maintaining that change despite set-backs, problems and fun things like vacations that will encourage you to indulge.

As for the photo -- the one I almost had a hissy fit over was on a digital camera too (I saw it right after my fiance took it). I look SO fat and flabby in it, but I didn't delete it bc it was otherwise SUCH a cool shot (of me at this amazing NY State Park behind a small waterfall, reaching out to run my hands under the water). Part of my problem was the picture and how fat/flabby I look, but the other thing was that i was EXTREMELY hot and sweaty and in the sun for hours, climbing up stairs (the park is mostly paved, but it has about 300 stairs and thus many long winding staircases) and those conditions (hot and sweaty in the sun) bring out my WORST side; the side that is self-hating and miserable and short tempered with everyone.

Have a great time on your vacation !!!!

KLK, I'm not sure I have any major words of wisdom, but please don't be so hard on yourself. Think of how far you've come. Four measley days doesn't wipe that away, and it seems as if you are getting back on track, which is commendable. I completely relate to your point about the pictures. At least you looked at the picture. I am currently on vacation (just checking in for my 3fatchicks fix!), and my sister took a picture of me today. I told her to delete it (she has a digital camera) before I even looked at it. I know I'll be depressed if I look at it.

If it's any consolation, I think it's rare that anyone stays completely "on plan" during vacation. I, too, have eaten more than I would like, and I'm only on day five of a nine-day vacation! I realized something the other day, though: I am not going to let this derail me. This time, my plan is for life, so if I fall of the wagon, I plan to get right back on. And I can see that you're doing the same.

I think you're doing great!


soonergrl78
08-02-2008, 07:03 PM
I went to Florida for 2 weeks and gained 6 lbs. I am not sure what the heck went on. I didnt think I ate that much and we were always swimming and walking around. So sad!

JayEll
08-02-2008, 07:14 PM
Okay... :chin:

KLK, I think you know that anyone who can lose 74 pounds is winning the battle. I'm not going to even address your feeling like a disgusting beast, because that does not even merit a response. :no: :no:

You went away for four days... And it wasn't the way you thought it would be... Lots of people have found themselves in situations like that! Yes, it's discouraging. Is it the end of the world? Nope. Is it worth running yourself over with a truck?? :eek: Nope and nope again!

:drill: Now you listen to me, Missy! Time to stop that foolishness! :drill: You do not get to throw in the towel now just 'cause things didn't go your way! :drill: Stand up straight there! Show some pride! Are you or are you not a member of 3FC??

:coach: You know what you've got to do, and you know how to do it. Enuf is enuf, sister. 74 pounds down! :coach: Whether you lose another ounce or not, you deserve to find happiness in this life. Everyone does, whether they are skinny, thin, normal weight, overweight, obese, or even larger! And you deserve as much as anyone to succeed! :yes:

All right then. Are you going to keep working? If you give up now, it's on you! It's all your choice, no one else's. Hang in there with us! We are pulling for you! :yes: Come on! You know you can! :cheer2:

Jay

starchild
08-02-2008, 07:27 PM
Yeah! What Jay said!!! Girl, are you kidding me?!?!? You have lost 74 pounds!!!! What an accomplishment!!!!

Relish in THAT and get back to the plan!!!! Be happy with what you have achieved and will continue to achieve!!!!

(Child, please.)

Jonsgurl0531
08-02-2008, 08:19 PM
Vacation is a VACATION! You have lost so much weight don't beat yourself up. Whatever weight you might have gained couldn't possibly be because of ALL the food you ate. Remember each pound is 3500 calories! Drink LOTS of water eat a bunch of fiber and flush whatever may be backed up out.
(i tend to back up on vacation.. as I dont like going in public restrooms...)

I went on Vacation to disneyworld and did I forget my diet.. you bet I DID.. I had some pizza and fried dough and a really bad buffalo chicken salad in some kind of torilla bowl.. and I didn't beat myself up about it..because I knew when I got home I would continue on.

When I got home I went back on Phase one of my diet and continued to plough on. I ended up gaining a pound but it was quickly gone and then some in a week.

It is okay going off a diet here and there.. as long as you get back on :)

retiredone
08-02-2008, 08:41 PM
Just let me say, suck it up and get over it. You're not the first or the last person to go on vacation and have a rotten time/gain weight. You were only gone for 4 days!! How much damage could you possibly do?

And since when did how much you weight determine a person's worth? If you feel like a fat ugly beast now, you'll feel like a skinny ugly beast when you lose all that unwanted weight. Obviously your fiance sees through your exterior and loves you for who you really are. He just put up with your whining for the last 4 days, didn't he and you're still engaged and he still loves you, right?

Take a nice bubble bath, put on some make-up and a nice outfit and go forward confident and brave knowing that you are a beautiful, and in control woman who can and will win this battle and be stronger for having fought the demons that surface from time to time.

And take a look at your weight ticker--that'd make me do a happy dance! :carrot:

alinnell
08-02-2008, 08:48 PM
OK, I'm back from vacation today, too. 8 days in Alaska--on a cruise. You know how they feed you on cruises!! Anyway, my scale is up 1.5 pounds however I FEEL so much bigger (so I can totally relate). Granted the portions are normal sized on this cruise--nothing over the top (but butter seems to be the best medium for cooking vegetables in). They've even done away with the nightly midnight buffet (only one "midnight" buffet--desserts only from 10:30-12:00PM) which we missed because we were on a roll in the casino!

So, we're in this together. Back on plan. Back to getting to goal. You can do it. So can I. Let's go for it!!!

EZMONEY
08-02-2008, 09:41 PM
YEP! What ISABELLA said!

kaplods
08-02-2008, 10:02 PM
I weighed pretty much my higest weight on my wedding day, and I'll deck anyone who says I wasn't a beautiful bride. I felt and looked like a princess (ok, a humongously fat princess, but I was the best d*d looking fat princess on the planet that day), because I was wearing the custom gown I'd helped design with my seamstress, and I was marrying my fat, handsome prince.

And you know how I knew I was beautiful, not just to me and my handsome prince? My skinniest, blonde, gorgeous coworker at my wedding (an aquaintence more than a friend) had tears streaming down her face at my wedding. Because happiness is what makes a bride beautiful on her wedding day, not the dress and not her figure.

Don't let your image of what you think you're "supposed to be," ruin that day.

As much as I want to lose 200 more pounds, I would not change a thing on my wedding day - not even my weight. That fat princess met her fat prince, and are living happily ever after. And while weight loss for both of us is part of our happily ever after, I wouldn't unwish any part of that wonderful day.

At it's worst, fat is just fat. Fat can't make you truly ugly. Only mean-spiritedness can make a person truly, to-the-bone ugly. A gentle and giving spirit is always beautiful to those who know HOW to see. If no one at your wedding but you and your fiance see that beauty - that's a terrible loss for all of your guests, but a much greater tragedy would be if you were the only one NOT to see your beauty on that day.

rockinrobin
08-02-2008, 10:22 PM
YEP! What ISABELLA said!


Exactly - and what Jay said too ;).

midwife
08-02-2008, 11:44 PM
Hey KLK,

I just got back from a road trip too. Ugh. Why is white bread toast with butter and jelly like crack? Why did I choose a Butterfinger for a snack (doubly naughty since I usually boycott Nestle). McDonalds for lunch---gross...and no I did NOT get a salad.

But it is just a blip. So, I feel gross too but tomorrow is a new day! I shall eat lots of protein and fruits and veggies, pound water like I live in the desert (which I do!) and go for a nice long bike ride. And then repeat each day this week and by Thursday, even the water retention will be history.

Remember it is what you do *most* of the time that counts. You know how to do this. All that matters is that you get back on plan. You and me together, 'kay?

KLK
08-03-2008, 09:43 AM
LOL :^:


(Child, please.)

KLK
08-03-2008, 09:45 AM
Hi -- you're definitely right ab flushing out my system -- I've been sucking back water and eating lots of vegetables and taking it easy on the salt and foods with lots of sodium. AND I worked out yesterday and today too, so I feel better psychologically as well (and less hopeless!).

I hope you had fun at Disney World :D

Vacation is a VACATION! You have lost so much weight don't beat yourself up. Whatever weight you might have gained couldn't possibly be because of ALL the food you ate. Remember each pound is 3500 calories! Drink LOTS of water eat a bunch of fiber and flush whatever may be backed up out.
(i tend to back up on vacation.. as I dont like going in public restrooms...)

I went on Vacation to disneyworld and did I forget my diet.. you bet I DID.. I had some pizza and fried dough and a really bad buffalo chicken salad in some kind of torilla bowl.. and I didn't beat myself up about it..because I knew when I got home I would continue on.

When I got home I went back on Phase one of my diet and continued to plough on. I ended up gaining a pound but it was quickly gone and then some in a week.

It is okay going off a diet here and there.. as long as you get back on :)

KLK
08-03-2008, 09:51 AM
Thank you -- that was definitely the @ss-kickin' I needed lol.

I know for sure that a person's appearence, great, flawed, really flawed, etc. does NOT determine their worth and what they deserve in life, but sometimes, for myself only, I feel like my appearence is the be-all and end-all of my life and worth as a person. It's silly, but it only applies to myself (in my mind).

I'm also pretty sure that I didn't actually gain body fat -- I'm POSITIVE I was eating far less than 3500 calories a day, so it's a physical impossibility to gain pounds of fat that way, but psychologically I felt so huge and gross and etc. All that time outside, standing in the sun, sweating, etc. didn't help matters.

Re my ticker: I've been STUCK at 74-75lbs lost for about 3 years, so the joy of it has worn off, I'm afraid, and I kinda just feel like a failire now for being swso stuck there. Blagh. Still, losing 75lbs is an accomplishment, I know.

Thanks again :)

Just let me say, suck it up and get over it. You're not the first or the last person to go on vacation and have a rotten time/gain weight. You were only gone for 4 days!! How much damage could you possibly do?

And since when did how much you weight determine a person's worth? If you feel like a fat ugly beast now, you'll feel like a skinny ugly beast when you lose all that unwanted weight. Obviously your fiance sees through your exterior and loves you for who you really are. He just put up with your whining for the last 4 days, didn't he and you're still engaged and he still loves you, right?

Take a nice bubble bath, put on some make-up and a nice outfit and go forward confident and brave knowing that you are a beautiful, and in control woman who can and will win this battle and be stronger for having fought the demons that surface from time to time.

And take a look at your weight ticker--that'd make me do a happy dance! :carrot:

KLK
08-03-2008, 10:00 AM
That was all so SO SO true, but I keep losing sight of that.

I had my wedding shower the day before we left for vacation -- it was a total surprise calculated by my fiance, my mother and my bridesmaids and it was very sweet (I've never been genuinely surprised like that with a party, as I can usually smell things like that coming...). It was fun and very sweet that they all organized this for me and decorated the restaurant stuff. And hey, I even look pretty good in the pictures... but i heard my cousin (who Im not close to, who never met my fiance before last Sunday and who is older than me, thin and "pretty") was marveling in surprise at how good looking my fiance is. Saying things like, "Wooow, Karen's fiance's actually so good looking" etc. Like surprised I was able to attract someone handsome (and he is handsome!). I know part of it is jealousy at being older and "prettier" (though dumb as dirt-- ahem...), but still, why is she so SHOCKED? Bc I'm ugly and ugly girls don't attract handsome guys. At least that's how I was thinking all vacation.

But you're very right -- happiness and kindness makes a person (anyone) beautiful and cruelty, jealousy and whatever makes a person truly ugly.

PS: I'm sure you were a beautiful princess on your wedding day! What style dress did you have? Mine is A-line and gathered at the waist on the left side.

I weighed pretty much my higest weight on my wedding day, and I'll deck anyone who says I wasn't a beautiful bride. I felt and looked like a princess (ok, a humongously fat princess, but I was the best d*d looking fat princess on the planet that day), because I was wearing the custom gown I'd helped design with my seamstress, and I was marrying my fat, handsome prince.

And you know how I knew I was beautiful, not just to me and my handsome prince? My skinniest, blonde, gorgeous coworker at my wedding (an aquaintence more than a friend) had tears streaming down her face at my wedding. Because happiness is what makes a bride beautiful on her wedding day, not the dress and not her figure.

Don't let your image of what you think you're "supposed to be," ruin that day.

As much as I want to lose 200 more pounds, I would not change a thing on my wedding day - not even my weight. That fat princess met her fat prince, and are living happily ever after. And while weight loss for both of us is part of our happily ever after, I wouldn't unwish any part of that wonderful day.

At it's worst, fat is just fat. Fat can't make you truly ugly. Only mean-spiritedness can make a person truly, to-the-bone ugly. A gentle and giving spirit is always beautiful to those who know HOW to see. If no one at your wedding but you and your fiance see that beauty - that's a terrible loss for all of your guests, but a much greater tragedy would be if you were the only one NOT to see your beauty on that day.

retiredone
08-03-2008, 05:23 PM
Re my ticker: I've been STUCK at 74-75lbs lost for about 3 years, so the joy of it has worn off, I'm afraid, and I kinda just feel like a failire now for being swso stuck there. Blagh. Still, losing 75lbs is an accomplishment, I know.

Thanks again :)

If you've been stuck for about 3 years maybe you should look into a real life support group like WW or TOPS, etc... to supplement 3FC. They may be able to kick start your weight loss again and then you'll get to move your ticker again.

All the best as you get closer to your wedding day. I'm sure you'll look back on it as the perfect wedding day any girl could have.

JulieJ08
08-03-2008, 06:02 PM
I think you'll be surprised how much better you feel how fast. A few days of treating your self and body right, and you'll be back on track. You already have a good base of healthy living to fall back on.

kaplods
08-03-2008, 08:03 PM
My dress was a renaissance inspired style. When I get home, I'll attach a photo in this thread or in a PM. It was fitted in the bust, with a high waist with sheer butterfly sleeves. I look way too pale in white, so it's a light ivory.

I know how easy it is to judge ourselves by a different standard than the rest of the world, but we have to remind ourselves of the damage doing so does. We are just as human as any body else, and putting ourselves last, or having unrealistic expectations is disrespectful. And how much respect will anyone else have for us if we clearly don't respect ourselves. We have to be our own best friend, not worst enemy.

Sometimes it helps to act a little crazy in front of the mirror. Look at that woman in the mirror and talk to her - treat her as if she were your best friend - because that's what you need to make "her." When we lose respect for ourselves, often other people start to as well. You are worthy of your dreams and don't forget that. When you start to berate yourself, try to stop and first ask yourself if you would even consider punishing or criticizing someone else like you're doing to yourself. If it would be rude, horrible, unforgiveable to do to someone else - don't do it to yourself.

I know most of us aren't taught to live that way. We're often raised to be martyrs - meeting our needs only after we've done our best to satisfying everyone else's - the problem with that is that it never ends up being your turn. Take your turn.

beautifulone
08-03-2008, 10:22 PM
Sometimes it helps to act a little crazy in front of the mirror. Look at that woman in the mirror and talk to her - treat her as if she were your best friend - because that's what you need to make "her." When we lose respect for ourselves, often other people start to as well. You are worthy of your dreams and don't forget that. When you start to berate yourself, try to stop and first ask yourself if you would even consider punishing or criticizing someone else like you're doing to yourself. If it would be rude, horrible, unforgiveable to do to someone else - don't do it to yourself.

I know most of us aren't taught to live that way. We're often raised to be martyrs - meeting our needs only after we've done our best to satisfying everyone else's - the problem with that is that it never ends up being your turn. Take your turn.

Hear hear!

Karen, I hope you're feeling better and getting back into your groove :)

tracye
08-05-2008, 01:45 PM
You went to Farm Sanctuary?

Sorry you had such a bad experience. A few other people that I know went up and had an amazing time. They said the food was great and the experience was something they would never forget. It even inspired me to sponsor a chicken (which I plan on visiting some day soon). Maybe it was just a bad time when you were there? Are you vegetarian or vegan? I know sometimes people who aren't sometimes have issues with the food.

Being stuck at a certain weight can suck, but think of it this way - at least you haven't gained any weight, right? :)

kaplods
08-05-2008, 07:22 PM
and there's really no "at least" about it. Maintaining a weight loss is so much harder than losing it in the first place, that being "stuck" is still a success most people can't accomplish.

I would also recommend a support group like TOPS. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my TOPS group. The prizes and incentives and contests and all of the friendly support really keep me motivated. Since I have such a hard time getting the weight to come off at a reasonable rate, it can get so frustrating, but the group really keeps me focused.

Oh and here's one of my wedding photos (just got home this afternoon, haven't gotten on the scale to see how much damage I did on my vacation). It's got a weird border, but it was the only photo I had that was small enough to upload.

walking2lose
08-05-2008, 09:02 PM
Colleen - you are SO BEAUTIFUL, and you both look so very happy! Yay!! It's wonderful to put your posts together with a face. Gorgeous dress, too!

KLK ... hang in there girl. It's been a gaining summer for me too. Maybe we could do a new little thread -- The Get Serious Thread. I still have a month until I go back to school, and I really, really do NOT want to have to buy bigger clothes for work!

What do you all think - Would a "Let's Get Serious" Thread be in order??? I think I need it!

kaplods
08-06-2008, 02:25 PM
Thank you Claire (no decking for you),

I think sometimes the idea of "getting serious," sometimes turns into punishing for not being perfect. So I'd suggest maybe a foucs on maybe specific goal setting. You know planning and following through. How have you planned for success and achieved it today?

On a personal note, I don't really know how I managed it exactly, but I only gained a half pound during my vacation. I am completely stumped, except that I did make (unconsciously, so it must be becoming a habit) better choices and did a lot of walking. I'm rather shocked by it actually, because I didn't follow through on my plan for success (weighing and journaling daily. The scale broke, but I didn't have an excuse for not journaling).