100 lb. Club - I feel so ashamed of myself




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MissKoo
07-31-2008, 07:17 PM
I have been eating my way through life for that last couple months. I had been going back and forth between 240 and 260 for a while. Today I had the nerve to get on the scale: 278.5!!!!!! I could not believe my own eyes. I felt like someone kicked me in the chest.:?:

So, I had to redo my signature weight scale to show my new high and low. It says my goal is 185 (which would be a 90 pound loss) but I'd feel better at 175 (100 pounds!).

I'm so scared. I can barely look in the mirror anymore. I have to get my @ss in gear. I know how to diet. I've been to Weight Watchers so many times. Done South Beach, Atikins, whatever. I just have to do the things that are right:
Stay under 30 points a day
Exercise but DON'T INJURE MYSELF (i'm no spring chicken here)
Eat healthy food.
Journal my exercise, food and mood.

I feel awful. I need some support but I don't want to go back to WW (mostly because I don't want to spend money I don't have) and I don't want to go to Overeaters Anon (no offense - it just wasn't right for me).

Anyone who wants to reach out to a fattie PLEASE DO! I'm going to check in on this thread EVERYDAY. I must to do all my healthy habits EVERYDAY or I will find many, many excuses not to do them at all.

Maybe a goal of wearing a size 12 dress with my stepson graduates from high school next June? That would be AWESOME.

Thanks all.

Koo


fiberlover
07-31-2008, 07:22 PM
Koo :hug:

You need to find a plan that you are comfortable with and can do forever. It may take some trial and error, so don't get discouraged.

You might want to look at a site like fitday.com or thedailyplate.com and just start logging your food. I don't know how that works points wise, but you can do it for free.

Check in to this site everyday. It's very motivational!

pipernoswiper
07-31-2008, 07:43 PM
koo, you can do this, like fiberlover said, you just need to find a plan that works for you. and that can take a little while. but while you are going through that process, just know there are people here who honestly do care and wish you the very best on your weight loss journey.
some days it is so hard for me to stay on track, and other days it seems soooo easy. i pray for many more of the latter :) for all of us!


Lyn2007
07-31-2008, 08:18 PM
You can do this. It's so important not to put it off. If you slip up, get right back on track that very next minute. Keep with it. The time is going to pass anyway, right? You may as well be thinner and healthier at the end of it!

This is a great palce for support. Hang in there.

TJFitnessDiva
07-31-2008, 09:52 PM
Yes you can do this! Don't beat yourself up too much, you can start over again tomorrow :) If you really like WW then I suggest trying it at home....there is a forum here at 3FC for the WW at home group.

If you want to try something else....gosh there are so many ways! This is a trial and error thing, plan wise. The biggest hurdle is staying motivated, but this is why I'm here and I'll bet you can find plenty of motivation on this site too!

I bet once you set your mind to it, you'll be wearing that size 12 in no time!

Goldana
07-31-2008, 10:07 PM
I think we all went through the dawning realization that the weight somehow "crept up" on us.
It was the same for me definitely. I used to always weigh anywhere between 170-180. I kind of accepted myself at that weight since my mother, grandmother, and even great grandmother were all the same height and weight as me. I chopped it down to genetics and left it at that.
Then the years went by and I went in a sort of denial that I was piling on even more pounds. Oh, I think I knew it in the back of my mind but, I rationalized it by thinking I could lose that little extra by snapping my fingers.
Then one day at my mother-in-law's house I stepped on the scale. I saw that the little extra had turned into 80 pounds!
I felt miserable. I thought there is no possible way that "I" can lose over 100 pounds. I thought of all those weight commercials where people claim that they lost massive amounts of weight on this so-and-so diet. And I thought...ya right, "normal" people don't lose that much weight on their own through diet and exercise.
And then I looked around online for support. I knew I wanted to find a place where there were people like me. Of course I am not knocking people who want to lose 10-20 pounds but, I wanted to see proof that there were people out there who were committed to losing massive amounts of weight like myself. People who thought it was possible! That is when I found 3FC. :)
I have to say when I first came here, I was still in denial. I still didn't want to believe that "I" had to lose over 100 pounds! I tried a lot of things (certain diets and exercise) that didn't work work for me because I wasn't truly putting in the effort.
I sat around, lurked, read everything I could get my hands on and slowly I had a change in my way of thinking. I came up with a plan that I knew would work for my body. And I had the confidence that everything would work, I would lose weight. I'm not going to lose everything by tomorrow but, someday I will stand on the scale and see my magic number. Everyone here has shown me that they ARE doing it or HAVE done it. Even if you lose 2 pounds, you LOST 2 pounds!
The most important thing I have learned is patience. Take things slow. Don't expect to lose 50 pounds in one month because you will be disappointed. Also, don't look at the weight you have to lose in one whole chunk. Look at it in smaller more realistic quantities (5-10 pounds), and concentrate on losing just that. Celebrate every pound you lose because every pound lost is a healthier you!
One more tip: If you don't know what diet plan to follow then make up your own. That is basically what I did.
As long as you follow some basic guidelines like eat lots of healthy fruit and vegetables, avoid white breads and pastas (switch to whole grains), use low fat dairy, limit your intake of sodas and alcohol (replace with lots of water, unsweetened teas, etc.), choose leaner cuts of meat (chicken and fish are great), and avoid junk foods...you will be fine!
Look around for some healthy recipes and let me tell you some of them are sooo good that you will forget that you are on a diet! In other words, just because you are on a diet doesn't mean that you have to deprive yourself of yummy foods. There is healthy and YUMMY stuff out there!
Anyway, I think I wrote a novel for you. I hope you don't mind :) Stick around here...you won't regret it!

jennisue
07-31-2008, 10:22 PM
WOW -- Can I understand how you feel -- It has been really hard to admit how big I allowed myself to get and start to change. I have been on a plan since the end of April--

I know if I can do this with over 100 lbs to lose so can you--

That doesn't mean that it will be easy -- I gained a lot more weight after I got laid off and now realize that I just didn't know how to deal with the loss.

GOOD LUCK - Every positive change you make will show on the scale--


Jen

TinkFreak117
07-31-2008, 10:25 PM
you've got a game plan and seem motivated! you can do it! you've got tons of support here! keep updating here so we can watch you and make sure you keep on track! you just might need a lil encouragement and here we are!! trust me you aren't the only person to hop on a scale and nearly have a heart attack. Its a horrible feeling , I know. Thats why I'm here. But it also is good for motivation. I never wanna do that again. I never wanna see that again so I need to make changes! You've got a goal...... accomplish it!!

Pandora123a
07-31-2008, 10:42 PM
MissKoo,

It will be slow...it will be hard...it is possible. One day at a time...for me, one meal at a time.

You can do it. You will find here that most of us could get a PhD in weight loss...but not maintenance or sticking to any diet or program.

We all want to lose it all, overnight. Someone on another thread wrote recently that she thought that losing it slowly forced her to build her "weight loss" muscles...the skills and behaviors that will stick.

We're here to cheer for you, to hold your hand in the tough moments...and lots of folks are willing to do a little butt-kicking if that seems necessary!

Welcome...

beautifulone
07-31-2008, 10:52 PM
Welcome!

You can do it!! And oh my, I can relate to how you feel. I remember stepping on that scale 2 summers ago and reading 262. I was only 22 at that point. I had battled my weight for over decade at that point, and I remember thinking - my high used to be 213, and now it's 262??! And although the thought didn't prominently register in my consciousness, I felt a gnawing realization that if I had reached a point of weighing 262, then I could easily/eventually reach 300 lbs. It really wasn't far-fetched. So I decided to try again. I had tried so many times that to try again was really: here we go again. Except before, I had serious issues with food, self-esteem, and body-image. So it wasn't the same. Anyways, long-story shorter, I vowed to myself that I would NEVER stop trying until I reached a healthy weight. And I think that's when I really determined my success. I told myself that I will keep trying and stay committed until I reach my goal or I die. And even if I lost my focus and got off-track, I would get back on again and keep going. No matter how long it took or how many times I had to get back on. I would until I reached that goal or died, whichever came first. But you know, it worked. So I lost 50 lbs, and then hit some bumps, seriously fell off-track, threw in some denial along the way, and a fateful day about a month ago, found myself weighing at 248. I honestly think my eyes did this :eek:. So here I am, taking it each day at a time and telling myself that I can do it. And if I can do it, then anyone can do it! I find that having support (and for me, that means coming here - it helps me to stay focused and keep learning) - the support is invaluable :) This place is amazing.

:welcome: I wish you all the best! And I look forward to seeing you enjoying your progress :) You can totally do it :D

Beverlyjoy
08-01-2008, 07:50 AM
I am glad you posted. Sometimes we need to be shocked by our weight to get with healthy eating again. But, what I've learned is that we can never give up trying again - because - it just might be the time that it really sticks. Please keep posting. We will be here to support you the best way we can.

BAILYBOO
08-01-2008, 09:39 AM
It's all about a lifestyle change our habits need to be broken and that comes with trial and error your gonna get there but with a few slips and falls so just pick yourself up dust off and your on your way. I think a lot of us can relate to this .Have a wonderful on plan day.

QueenBee3
08-01-2008, 09:47 AM
This is a wonderful forum to gather inspiration from other women's struggles and triumphs. If you've tried a bunch of different "diets" or "programs" and they haven't work, perhaps that route is just not for you. Maybe you need to just decide to make a lifestyle change that you can live with. Forever. Make the decision to be a healthy person.

My dad told me once that when he was in law school and wanted to go to a big firm, he put himself around his professors that he knew had connections. When he wanted to learn how to be more successful, he constantly networked with people more successful than he currently was. He watched how they did business, studied them and replicated what he felt would help him....

I take that same advice with weight loss. Look at "skinny" or healthy or athletic people, study them and replicate them. A lot eat "all the time" because they're eating small healthy meals throughout the day. Many walk, run or go to the gym. They are just active. And don't HAVE to eat a piece of cake just because they're at a birthday party. It's helped me, so hopefully it will help you. Be a people-watcher and gather some ideas from others that you can conform to your needs/wants/lifestyle.

Good luck and you can do it!!!

grneyedmustang
08-01-2008, 10:23 AM
Hi there!

We have about the same dimensions (I'm six feet tall, and my heaviest was 277) so I totally understand where you're coming from. Unfortunately, I've been on the weight loss merry-go-round since I was a kid. The last time I lost weight I did WW and lost almost 50 pounds. This time, I started out on WW, but changed to SB because I felt like the flexibility with WW was going to get me into trouble.

SB is working so far...I've had some slips ups (vacation, parties) but they were my own fault... and I do like not counting calories or points which is why I like SB.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do! And here's to a size 12 (which is my goal size too)! :dance:

belezura
08-01-2008, 11:52 AM
I am very sorry you feel this way. :(But some times that’s what it takes for us to wake up...
I was always a junk food eater. And how I loved chocolate!!!
One day there was this girl who I knew who told me about the South Beach Diet (SBD) and how much weight she lost on it. And I could see from her myspace pics and was so jealous...
That’s when I decided if she did, I could do too...
So, I bought the SBD book and started the diet. I was very strict with it...
I lost some weight. Very little, not even close to her...
That was very disappointing, because even though I done everything right, I couldn’t get the same results...
So I went to the next book and incorporated some ideas from this other diet to the SBD. By then I knew my kind of diet was low carbs, no sugar food plan, because I could pretty much eat everything in large amounts (I can’t stick with a diet that control your portions of food).
Today I drop more pounds (I exercise everyday too) and still eating a lot (health food).
I am on my 6th diet/fitness book, which help me at the gym, so the time flies, give me many tips on my diet and keep me motivated.
One book I would even recommend is “Win the Sugar War”—where I found this website, where people like us tell their success stories.
So many things changed in my life. Today I can eat a fruit as desert and I love that. Back in the days where I ate sugar I couldn’t believe people would consider fruit a desert.
But when you have sugar banned from your diet, fruit tastes so sweet and delicious... and I happy and not even need the sugar!!!
Sure there are days are better than others... But still hope even when you lose control and binge. It is the next day. (it will hurt you, but not enough to ruin your whole progress).
Nothing like a brand new day, when you pick up from where you left and keep going on your health new life, because you are a grown person and can take responsibility for your mistakes...
Good luck to you and remember: I’ll be here if you need some support!!!
Belezura:hug:

hotmomma
08-01-2008, 12:03 PM
Does this happen to anyone? Even though I've had a "2" in front of my weight for 10 years now, when I get on the scale I for some reason only seem to understand the last two digits of my weight, and keep thinking there's a "1" in front of it. I also have trouble thinking that I need to lose(or at least could STAND to lose) dozens of pounds. :-(

Tammy73
08-01-2008, 12:46 PM
Sometimes it's hard to face what the scale says. The most important thing is
that you are back here and you are posting and trying to get help and support. Like others have said, find a plan that works for you and stick to it.
It'll take time and patience, but I'm finding that the journey hasn't been so bad since I've been on this site. It's really encouraging to see how everyone
else is doing. I know you can do this. You just have to make up your mind and be open, honest and willing to do the work. Even if you fall off track every once in a while just remind yourself that you're human and we all have stuggles then just get right back on track again.
Looking forward to seeing your progress. Keep at it!
Tammy

pamatga
08-01-2008, 01:09 PM
You have gotten a lot of good feedback that is beneficial to all of us who are working at losing the extra weight and regaining our once lost good health.

One caveat though: although you feel crummy right now because of this realization, don't stay there long! It was a wake-up call but it is not a reason to stay in that feeling much longer than it took to write your post.

Reread these posts as often as you need to. I saved them in a separate document so I can read them all at once and as often as I need them. I have a separate file folder on my desktop titled "A New Me". It helps me to access those posts when I really need it "right now" and can't seem to find them when I start to go looking for them--sort of like your reading glasses, if you know what I mean!

Good luck! Post often! You can do this!:hug:

Kae
08-01-2008, 01:35 PM
Welcome! Congrats on getting back on track! I look forward to reading about your journey!

showmom
08-01-2008, 01:55 PM
Hi Koo,

I'm new here, too. I had a shock like you describe just last week - I couldn't believe how close I have gotten to 300 lbs. I've been logging in here every day this week - haven't posted much, but I've done a lot of reading. I have found a lot of motivation and good information & ideas. With the support here, I think I will finally be able to stick with losing weight more than a few days.

Good luck,
Kathy

Matilda08
08-01-2008, 02:30 PM
Welcome! How you feel is pretty normal but you have to find that inner strenght you have to fight for it you have to have will power. I am telling you I literally had to get down on my knees and pray before I started this new life style. I hate to bring reliogion into it but you get my drift. There were times that I had to pray daily. Trust me it gets better. I dont follow a specific program I just watch what I eat. That has worked well for me. This site is great for support. Hang in there dont give up!!!!!!

MissKoo
08-01-2008, 07:52 PM
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR REPLYING!

NeanieBean
08-02-2008, 05:59 PM
Hi Koo! You know that we have all been there. I was your weight but a good 10 inches shorter!
I want to say something about the shame. That is what I felt the most...was the shame of being overweight. (let's be honest..of being FAT!) And I decided that this time I am losing weight with kindness. I want to explore being kind to myself. You are being so wonderful to yourself right now, by getting back on track. And we might have to do that a hundred or a thousands times. But you did get back on track and that's so wonderful!

soonergrl78
08-02-2008, 07:06 PM
You can do it for sure. The first step was getting the courage to get on the scale. That in its own is hard to do! Least it is for me anyway!

Vladadog
08-02-2008, 10:19 PM
You can do it Miss Koo!

The beginning of June we got a digital scale here at work. I got on it and was shocked/horrified/amazed/dismayed to see 275. It's not like iI didn't know I was fat but seeing those numbers made it very real. Right then and there I made a commitment to quit junk food and started surfing this site and asking LOTS of questions, trying to figure out what would work best for me.

3FC is so great because there are so many wonderful people here who have been down this road before us. Their advice and experiences have helped me so much in figuring out how to tackle my problem and they've given me the support and strength to keep on keepin' on.

I'm just counting calories right now with a focus on "whole foods" and lower carb and it's working for me really well so far (but one good thing, maybe the only good thing, about being really fat is those first pounds come off pretty easy which is very encouraging and rewarding!). The right "plan" is out there for you and with your past experience and the help of all the knowledgable folks here you'll find it.

Believe me, if *I* can do it anyone can!

Vladdie