What next? Okay so some of you know that my husband just returned home from drug/alcohol rehab. His problems are bad enough, but now....we went to visit family in ...well we went to our hometown to see the people he and I haven't seen for a year, his mom, grandma, and sister. His sister has three kids and a drug problem of her own. The father of the two oldest kids fades in and out of their lives, battling his own demons and the father of the baby left once he found out she was pregnant. These kids were hungry, dirty and riddled with Lice! Even the seven month old baby! I brought them all up here to my house and am supposed to take them back on Monday. Now how can I in good conscience return these children to the house to be dirty and hungry and lice infested again! But I have to work and worry about my husband and he doesn't have a job yet! I love these kids but I'm afraid to do anything and I'm afraid of doing nothing! Jessie's head is so thick with lice and scabs from scratching that she cries and scream with pain when I apply the lice meds. I cut almost all her hair off because it was matted and thick with dead skin and lice, now I wonder if I should just shave her head, which she doesn't want, she's afraid the girls in school in a couple weeks will make fun of her now.
their mother practically fell over herself with joy when I said I'd take them for a few days, she insisted I take the baby, which because of my working I didn't want to do (Luckily my daughter stepped up and said she'll keep the baby while I'm working) but aparently Jessie (10 years old) is the one who takes care of the baby 24/7 Josh the 12 year old practically disassociates himself from the whole situation playing video games all the time (Why is it that people who can't afford food for the family always have video game systems?)
What am I going to do? I am all in knots about it and spend all my free time combing live and dead lice out of Jessies hair. I hate being in this situation, yes their mom always was a party girl but she kept things going somehow until the last couple years, I can't go on this post is too long, thanks for listeninmg
My perspective - if you cannot care for the children yourself (and you've got a LOT on your plate right now!), you need to call Child Protective Services. Yes, it is hard to do that to a family member. But imagine what those children will be returning to if you do not. In the long run, better for them to be properly taken care of, even if it isn't by you or their mother, than to be neglected and abused.
You can make the report anonymously, if you feel the need to. But please don't pretend the situation doesn't exist and just return the children to an abusive (yes, neglect is abusive) home.
Sending all the good thoughts I have to you and your family during this rough patch.
Pixiesue, lots of . I agree with what Amanda (mandalinn) offered. I can only imagine how difficult it is - but know that you are acting in the children's best interests. They are so fortunate to have you in their lives, someone who cares about them and is capable of helping them.
You and your nieces/nephews and family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you all the best in this difficult situation
I called Child Protective about 14 years ago, on my sister, for neglecting her son. It was a very difficult decision -- but you have to remember -- his sister is chosing to live this way, her kids don't have the option. They need you to look out for them. Once child protective gets involved, it will probably bring the teachers at school in as well -- which can be a great help to the 10 year old as well to have someone else in her corner.
You need to intervene, you know the children are being neglected and that is a situation that cannot be allowed to continue. I had a similar dilemma a couple of years ago when my niece was not being looked after properly by her mother who had been divorced from her father (my brother). She had sores from impetigo which had been infected and infested with headlice - a caring parent would never let their child get in such a way. My brother was reluctant to intervene as they had been through a messy divorce and thought he would just be seen as being vindictive. I was about to make the call to Social Services when events came to a head themselves as my niece was rushed to hospital one day when she collapsed in the street. She was diagnosed with leukemia and was in hospital for some time and eventually returned to the care of her mother. Her mother would still not receive any awards for mother of the year but with a close eye being kept on my niece by both health and social care professionals they get by.
Make the call, you know its the only proper thing you can do.
Yes I am. The kids want to stay here with us. I told them I couldn't gaurantee that they would be with us right away, That I didn't know if CS would want to put them in foster for awhile while they investigate but they said anywhere but home with mom and her "boyfriend"
Pitiful. I can't imagine ,as a child, wanting to live anywhere but with my Mom and dad (with occasional visits to grandma and grandpa ,of course for a good dose of "spoiling"!
I'm so sorry to hear about this!! I know from a similar situation how hard it can be to allow the kids to go back home. If you are truly worried, I would contact Child and Family services and explain the situation. The point is not to cause her trouble... but to HELP her. They can provide some wonderful support when she needs it.
There is ONE thing I can help with though:
Here's a VERY kid friendly lice remedy! Worked like a CHARM with my kids.
You'll probably need a good size of mayo (get the store brand.. cheap), vinegar and tea tree oil.
Get a HUGE mixing bowl, put in a big glop of mayo (2 cups) and add a bit of vinegar until it looks like thick cake batter. Add a few drops of tea tree oil and mix well.
Apply to each of the children's heads (very thickly, from root to tip - make sure every hair on each of their heads are saturated). Then place a shower cap on their heads - squeeze out any excess air, and use clips to keep it in place. Let them play for the day like this. (keep it on no less than 5 hours).
Then rinse their hair out well. Use the nit comb (you'll see all the dead lice and the nits will easily SLIDE off their hair!!!!). Then wash their hair normally with shampoo and conditioner.
Make sure that you have mom put some tea tree oil in the kids shampoo and conditioner at home... this will keep the lice away.
Last edited by tamaralynn; 08-02-2008 at 10:56 AM.
continueing drama of my life
to you in this rough situation.
