Boy have you come to the right place. I think all of us in here can relate to everything you wrote. Being fat SUCKS !!!
But... it is not terminal.
YOU CAN OVERCOME IT.!!!
Have you been lurking and reading? There are sooo many groups in here and ALL of them would welcome you with open arms. I recommend you read and read and read some more and find a group... or two... and join in.
Share your fears. Share your success. Share yourself.
As they say in AA... put the plug in the jug and get yourself back involved in LIFE. By that I mean... get out of the food. Follow your WW program, drink lots of water, get some form of exercise, and join in here and get involved.
We are all behind you cheering you on.