Weight Loss Surgery If you've had it, or are considering it, share your discussions here

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Old 07-29-2008, 12:28 AM   #1  
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Oh my gosh, this place has been hopping. Thanks everyone for the comments about my mother's death. I'm not into drama, but the last few weeks have been.....eventful. Mother's passing was quite quick and peaceful. We were able to get her home during the last 24 hours and it gave her great peace. Now the rest of the story......the same day we buried my mother, one of our best friend was killed only 46 y/o and two days later, the only skinny healthy kid brother (43 y/o) in my family, heart went irregular and has been mis-firing from many different areas in his heart (ventricular and atrial). Meds are helping some, but because of the different points the heart is misfiring they won't be able to go in and do the burns of those areas. I'm crossing my fingers about him. My family buried themselves in food and grief. People were generous and someone brought in 100 pcs. of fried chicken and a 20 pound ham and much much more !!!! My little diabetic sister finally had enough carbs and brought in a veggie platter!!!! HIP-HIP-HORRAY! I kept myself busy doing dishes and monitoring lots and lots of little nieces and nephew and kept my face out of the food and sat with my mother. My mother was a large woman and I could hardly keep from crying everytime they had to get several able-bodied people to reposition my mom. I told my DUMB sister, that this was one of the reasons that I had WLS, because this would be me in a few years. She told me SKINNY wasn't everything!!!! I could have decked her. I had to remind her about my inability to move, live life, HAVE a live, constant pain and certain death at over 300 pounds for 30 years! And it sure wasn't the heck about being SKINNY!!! It was about my health! Her comment, "Well, I talked with Mom about your WLS and I said, "One in five people die from WLS, so Mom which the sister did you want to die?!?!?!" WHAT the HECK did that mean! Ignorant nuts! This is the only comment I've heard about my surgery! I finally repeated the story to my youngest sister, and she said "You had to do what you had to do." I watched my sister who had WLS in 2001 eat cream donuts, grilled cinnabuns, chips, fried chicken, tacos and gallons of Starbucks......the diabetic sister drink gallons of Mountain Dew and bags of snickers and complain because she felt funny and thought her sugar was high.......My youngest sister had congestive heart failure at 36 y/o and went to Walmart and brought in cheese cake, pies, chocolate fudge cake, chips, candy and soda and piled her plate full of enchiladas and fajitas. I weep for my family because they are all headed down the same path I had taken but at a faster pace. I grieve for my mother because the last 20 years, she has had a life of pain, suffering, and a very, very narrow world because of morbid obesity. Leenie....you were right; you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. I never said a word to them about their eating habits, and I really wanted to rail at them and beg them to think about how hard life was for our mother and that is what awaits them. For those who are thinking about WLS and have tried all the different avenues, don't wait as long as I did. I was 56 y/o and you won't believe the damage to my body because of being morbidly obese. Get yourself some education about WLS, get yourself a plan about how you will eat the rest of your life and get on with it. Of course there are risks, but morbid obesity will cause certain death and I'll take what ever comes my way at this point in my life not to end up like my mother and family. I thank God, everyday, that I can get out of bed, and that I've had more than one hour of sleep, I'm not dragging my leg around, I can climb the stairs, I can play with my grandchildren, I could help my mother during her last day (the Lord knows that wouldn't have been possible before WLS), I can clean my own house, be a good mate to my DH, I can walk to get the mail, use a normal stall in the bathrooms and just plain old being ALIVE!

Last edited by nanj; 07-29-2008 at 12:31 AM.
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Old 07-29-2008, 08:56 AM   #2  
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Sorry to hear about your mom passing. (Running to all my appts, I must have missed the post ) And also your friend.
As you know, some people just don't get it. I too didn't understand it when one of my friends died having the wls approx 20 years ago. I still really didn't get it a few years ago when I went to an info session. I figured that if you had to go through all the pre-surgical dieting and appts, what is the point of the surgery. Not to mention giving up soda!! After numerous more attempts I have decided that I want something that can help me not only achieve success, but maintain it.
Just remember, you had to do what was right for YOU!!
I hope your brother gets better soon. As for your sisters...well, we don't get to choose our families, do we???
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Old 07-29-2008, 10:44 AM   #3  
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First, my condolences on your mom. What a sad AND inspiring story. It's so hard watching people you love do self destructive things. But as you said, you can't make the choices for them. I'm so glad you made the right choice for yourself and improved your life. I'm right there with you, I wish I hadn't waited until I was 54 to have my surgery. I'm sure your story will help others who are trying to make their decision.
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Old 07-29-2008, 12:21 PM   #4  
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Nan I'm so sorry about your Mom. and I'm proud of you for stayign strong in the face of so much!
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Old 07-29-2008, 02:28 PM   #5  
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Nan,

I'm so sorry for your losses. Thank you for such an inspiring post. I could hear your passion. I hope that your success and new life will inspire your loved ones in their lives. I am very proud of you.

PS I'd never heard of grilled cinnabuns before.
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Old 07-30-2008, 10:09 AM   #6  
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nancy, honey - you've become my IDOL!!!!! thank you
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Old 07-30-2008, 10:20 AM   #7  
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Nan. . .You're strength has really inspired me!
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Old 07-31-2008, 03:03 AM   #8  
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nancy,
ive been gone and havent posted and for some strange feeling i decided to visit the forum tonite. THis brought me to your post and your open and honest words have given me just a little peace of mind tonite. Bless you for being with your mother and now she can rest in peace. I too was heading in the same direction til wls and we just happen to have it at the same time. Ive been gone visiting my dad who is dying from cancer and my mother, both in there 90s.. they never said a word about my weight loss of 120 pounds, til i got back and then asked me when you gonna lose some more. I wander why , we are always looked down on because of our weight. I missed a lot by being obese all my life and im 64 now. I would never hesitate to have the wls again, to bad i waited so long. Look at all i missed!! Im doing good now, i can walk without a cane, i can breath so much better, i have so much more energy, heck i can even tie my shoe!! The point is , as nancy and i say, dont wait to start a new life cause life wont wait for you... carvinmom

Last edited by carvinmom; 07-31-2008 at 03:28 AM. Reason: change weight tracker
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