Weight Loss Support - I really need help.




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GravityDefying
07-18-2008, 12:51 AM
I'm new, everyone, and I need to rant!

I joined this site for as much support as I can get. I fear I have no support from anyone else here. It's really hard. I'm 16 years old and heading in a direction that scares me. I'm 180 lbs. and climbing. I had so many good intentions for this summer! I was going to get up early and exercise twice daily, eat right, and ultimately reach my goal before school time. Well, this... just... isn't working. I've no motivation, limited resources, not mention eating when I'm bored or depressed. Everytime I think, "No, I'm going to stick to my diet and exercise program." I just gain even more weight than before. And I'm so stressed because of all of this stuff that is happening with my family (and has been this way for 4-5 years) that I eat even more! I find myself being lazy and extremely tired, battling sleeping problems everynight. I can't help but wonder if I'll ever lose this weight that makes me feel so very bad. It's been so hard for me and I'm just so tired of letting myself down. I'll start an exercise problem and then stop because I have no motivation whatsoever. I'm making excuses, but I can't stop!

Please help! Tell me what I have to do! Give me diets that work, exercise programs I can stick to. Tell me what I can do to get this weight off! Please!


Heather
07-18-2008, 01:08 AM
Welcome! I wish I'd got things under control when I was 16! It's hard always, AND you're a growing teen!

It sounds like you might have set some unrealistic goals for yourself. There ARE gym rats who exercise 2ce a day, but when you aren't used to it, it may not be a realistic goal for you (I did NOT like exercise when I started, so it would not have been a do-able goal for me, at least).

Not to mention stress... that definitely gets me to eat.

My advice would be not to try to change everything at once but pick one or two behaviors to work on, get those under control and then try one or two more.

As for the best diet -- for ME it's calorie counting and exercise. It's something I can do for life. It was important for me to not just lose the weight, but keep it off. So, my advice would be to read read read, get a lot of info, and find an "eating lifestyle" that works for YOU.

Good luck!

luckymommy
07-18-2008, 01:13 AM
Hi Gravity!
First, let me welcome you to this wonderful board. If you don't have support, you've found the right place! I don't think I could have gone as far as I have without the constant support and info I have found here.

When I started, I felt lost too. I didn't know where to start and I couldn't stick to a program if it was covered in glue! ;) I kept letting myself down to the point where I felt that I was lying to myself. I have a food addiction so the thought of not being under the power of food seemed very hard to believe. I wanted a solution. I wanted a miracle.

That was me...and I think you and I share a lot of simliarities....just as I am sure many of the people on this board feel. A huge percentage of us have been in your exact shoes and yet we have managed to somehow get started and stay on it.

How? First: stop beating yourself up for the past. It's over and you MUST move on. Second: there are amazing ladies on here that have had a lot more to lose than you or I and they are doing it and have done it (see the goal section...read people's blogs, etc.). Third: you have to find something you can do forever. No quick fixes will do. For me, the miracle has been calorie counting ( I also keep things lower in carb, but not very low). The reason calorie counting works so well for me is because often times, I feel like I ate too many calories, not knowing it's still fine and this gives me a sense of control. Seriously. Also, it sounds impossible at first, but once you get started, it becomes second nature. THere is a Calorie Counters forum here. If that sounds bad to you...there are MANY OTHER DIETS that work! The key to them all is consistency...not motivation. MOtivation will only get you so far when you get started, but consistency is what gets you to goal and maintenance! :) The beauty of calorie counting is that it's cheap. YOu eat things from anywhere, but you can just make sure your portions are controlled.
Fourth: Exercise is critical. Start slow. Do you belong to a gym? If not, there are lots of DVD's you can buy or get from the library. You can go for walks...once that becomes too easy, you can cary a backpack full of water bottles, etc. Then, you can move on to other things and you'll get lots of ideas here.
Finally: You must change your habits. When you are stressed or want to eat and you knjow you shouldn't ....find something else to do. I like to eat frozen grapes or chew gum. I measure out one cup of grapes and freeze them into portion controlled bags. They have only 65 calories! If I want a very low calorie lunch, I eat a boca burger with a low carb tortilla from La Tortilla Factory: it's 150 calories for the whole thing!

To figure out how many calories you should eat, go to Google and search for Resting MEtabolic Rate. That will tell you (once you add your own info) about how many calories you burn if you do nothing at all but stay in bed all day. That's how many calories I eat. Then, I workout and burn more. If I burn 3500 calories a week in exercise and I creat another 3500 calorie deficit by eating less, then I should lose about 2 lbs. per week. or 8 lbs. a month.

Oh, I forgot to mention: get rid of your thinking in terms of time pressure. Yeah, we all want to lose x amount of weight my x amount of time, but what's the point? Why not decide that this time, you're going to lose it for good and if it takes you a little longer, then so be it. Be kind to yourself and set up rewards for a job well done. I like to do something special for every 5 lbs. that I lose. So, I get manicures, pedicures, buy cheap clothes at discount stores, etc. You figure out what makes YOU feel good. Maybe take time to go to a movie, or a walk somewhere.

I am so sorry this got so long! I hope you will find your way here and I hope you will reach your goal...I know you can do this because I know how you feel!!!! Just be strong and start today. Food doesn't solve problems but it can sure create them!


KitgetsFit
07-18-2008, 02:33 AM
Hi!
I read your post and just wanted to offer some encouragement in any way possible. I'm new around here too, so I don't have everything figured out yet, but at least we've both taken a step by joining.

Do you own a bike? I just started biking and really enjoy it (and it's so much more fun to me than running). Do you live in a house with a basement? I like privacy when I exercise, so I can go down to the basement and jump rope, dance around, lift small weights, etc. Whatever gets me moving.

Maybe you could take up a new hobby or something to keep your hands and mind occupied. My best advice is to try and think positively (so much easier said than done, I know). You do have the power to change your life. And remember that two steps forward, one step back is okay. Maybe keep a notebook or what Oprah calls a "vision board" to remind yourself of your goal every day.

I really hope you feel encouraged here! :hug:

sh3l5
07-18-2008, 03:14 AM
i think the to achieve the exercise twice daily you have to be motivated to do it....
i think motivation is the key....
and perseverance./...

Iconised Ghost
07-18-2008, 05:49 AM
Hi there!
Since you are 16 you are probably still at school- maybe you can join your school's sports team? Most offer both competitive and social teams so you dont have to be competitive if you dont want to. And often i find once you are on a team you have made a commitment that you are unwelling to break, because you dont want to let your team mates down. Even if you arent at school you can probably join a social team by going to your local sports club.

Feeling tired may be a result of your diet, or your lack of exercise. On days where i eat better and go to the gym i find that i have a lot more energy. At first you'll be tired, but eventually you will feel a lot more energise :D

I dont know whats happening with your family, but if you could get them on board to help you that would probably be a huge help to you

And for diet, like Heather said, read read read! Find something that works for you. There are lots of good ideas on this forum that could provide you with a starting point :D

takingchances
07-18-2008, 06:48 AM
Big hugs to you, I was much like you in High School due to my weight I have no self esteem or self respect and just kept packing on the pounds-- it took me til I was 31 to see how much I deserved to take care of myself.

Start small sweetie.

Try just drinking water, lots of water. even that made me lose. Next I throw on my Ipod and dance around that really is a good way to get active plus just have fun.

Dieting is not the answer lifechange is...

pm me anytime,..,:hug:

yoyoma
07-18-2008, 07:01 AM
I agree with Heather's advice to start small. I have been up and down numerous times (I really want to stay down, but that's another story), and the best way for me to get going each time is by getting a few successes under my belt. Even simple things like taking a daily supplement regularly and drinking more water can give me the "I can do it!" attitude I need to really knuckle down.

If you're not used to exercise, walking is great. You can speed up/walk further as you become more fit. And if you have a dog in the house, their pleasure adds motivation.

In the past, I've sometimes had the rule that I could only listen to music while I was exercising. If I *really* wanted to hear some song... it was time for a walk! Speaking of which -- I've got to go now, the doggy is waiting!

Good luck!

JayEll
07-18-2008, 08:27 AM
Hey! :wave: :wel3fc:

Here's what I'd do. First, I'd make a commitment to go for a walk every morning. I don't know where you live, but if it's in a town, you could walk around a block, or in some kind of loop. It doesn't have to be a big long distance! Just set something like--walk to X and back, every weekday morning. Some days you won't want to, but just do it anyway. The secret to all of this is that you do it anyway! :yes:

Second, I'd make a commitment to skip one item of high-cal food every day. For example--no Doritos today. No xxx cookies today. No ice cream today. I don't know what your food "downfalls" are, but I'm sure you know. And, don't replace the skipped food with something else--no tradeoffs. As for the rest of the food day, try to eat good, nutritious foods. Add vegetables. Fruits.

While you're doing this, I'd look into information. Try getting a copy of YOU: On A Diet. You may be able to find it at your library. Look at websites like FitDay and TheDailyPlate and see if tracking would appeal to you. Find out all you can... and then, you can come up with a more elaborate plan.

Doesn't have to be terrifically hard, but it does take a little effort. Keep trying! Don't give up! Now is a good time to stop gaining...

Jay

sprklemajik
07-18-2008, 10:14 AM
Good news is... you've decided to start. Now just take small steps. Maybe saying that everything would be finished by the time school started was a little too ambitious, but every little change helps.

lumifan4ever
07-18-2008, 12:18 PM
Awww...teenage years. I remember them. I was overweight for awhile. I remember when i lost weight as a teenager. I cut out a meal. Let me explain. I lived with my grandparents that thought you were suppose to eat 4 large meals a day. We had breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper. So, i started by cutting out one of those meals a day. Also, on saturdays my reward for missing cartoons and going to the grocery store to help my grandfather see the prices of grocieries, was a bag of chips. Which i came home, sat in front of the tv and ate the whole bag in one sitting. I stopped getting that bag of chips. I also started walking. I walked all the time. I had a bit of motivatation because we had cute boys in the neighborhood. I figured they couldn't talk to me or i couldn't see them if i didn't get outside where they may be. So, i walked my little neighborhood over and over and over. Sometimes an hour at a time.

Small changes are a great way to start. Stop drinking soda and sugary tea's or kool-aid. Think of how cool and hip you are carrying around that water bottle. Try to cut back on portion sizes. At 16 i'm sure you don't have much say so as to what is for dinner or lunch but you do got a say so in your portions.

GravityDefying
07-21-2008, 06:23 PM
Thank you so much for your support and advice. I think that it sounds very smart! And since you look so great, from what I see in your picture, I'm sure that it is sound advice. Thanks again so much!

griffogrubb
07-21-2008, 06:37 PM
Hey Gravity, welcome! I hope you find all of the support you need here, everyone I've met is great! I found myself in the same situation you're in when I was 18. I had tried and tried to lose weight, but ultimately I ended up gaining 60 lbs trying to lose weight. I'd do one thing or another for a short while and then quit and go right back to my old habits. I honestly didn't start losing weight and keeping and off until I wanted it to happen. I had to accept that I wanted to lose weight for myself, because I wanted to live a longer and healthier life. Once I realized that, the motivation aspect became a lot stronger. Nobody can make you do this, you've got to push yourself, you've got to want it. As everyone's said, start small. Make changes to your diet, start walking, try different forms of exercise. Don't do an exercise program or diet just because someone tells you to, do whatever works for you. Find something you can stick to and something that you enjoy doing, that'll help you keep on wanting to do it. Good Luck to you, PM me if you ever need anything