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07-16-2008, 07:31 PM
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#1
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Healthy mommy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 1,418
S/C/G: 246/235/150
Height: 5'8 3/4
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BF was more supportive... but then came the Klondikes. I JUST SAID NO!!!!!
Yep, that's the popular saying now on the forum.. I've been thinking of that, and found it easy to just say no. I don't need the reeses flavored klondikes... although when I do eat candy (which is pretty rare), I love me some Reeses...
I asked BF to get some turkey bacon from the store before I started Phase 1 again. Went to make it the next morning and noticed it was Oscar Mayer and actually had the South Beach Diet stamp of approval on it, which was cool. (Although I know a lot of the other SBD foods sold in the stores are contradicting the diet.) I loved the bacon... I could taste no difference between regular bacon and turkey bacon. Yum!
But when BF came home and I asked him if he got the SBD turkey bacon to be supportive, he said he didn't even realize it had a SBD stamp on it. Oh well.
Today I'm making lasagna stuffed bell peppers. He went to the store and came back with Klondikes, shoving them in my face, like "Look Mel! Don't you want one!?" I was like, "Just keep those away from me." Then he kept bugging me, "just have one, it won't hurt!" I was like, "NO!" He kept on. "NO!" I got annoyed and told him to back off and be more supportive, so he shut up. He doesn't understand why one WOULD hurt and I tried to explain the GI thing to him but it was futile. Anyhow, very proud that I said no, I didn't even want the Klondike, nor do I now.
I found a sugar free chocolate meringue pie at the store, on sale (cause it didn't sell well I guess, it was reduced) and I checked it for flours (other than the crust) and cornstarch. It seemed okay, not for everyday but for cravings, I basically cut out a piece and just ate a few spoonfuls of the filling and discarded the meringue and crust. (Don't like meringue). It tastes funny so I'm not likely to overindulge. I also bought sugar free fudgesicles and those things are good. Anyway I'm doing pretty good, yesterday had greeneyedmustang's recipe for chicken cheeseteak saute (replacing provolone with swiss) and god, it was delicious.
I was glad I was able to say no and not feel regret about it.
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07-16-2008, 08:10 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: California
Posts: 7,097
S/C/G: 197/135/?
Height: 5'7"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Melanie
Today I'm making lasagna stuffed bell peppers. He went to the store and came back with Klondikes, shoving them in my face, like "Look Mel! Don't you want one!?" I was like, "Just keep those away from me." Then he kept bugging me, "just have one, it won't hurt!" I was like, "NO!" He kept on. "NO!" I got annoyed and told him to back off and be more supportive, so he shut up. He doesn't understand why one WOULD hurt and I tried to explain the GI thing to him but it was futile.
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Now, that just does not sound to me like someone who just understand that one would hurt. Congrats for resisting that sabotage.
Edit: that should read "someone who does *not* understand"
Last edited by JulieJ08; 07-16-2008 at 10:17 PM.
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07-16-2008, 08:26 PM
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#3
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Finding My Bliss
Join Date: May 2007
Location: California
Posts: 2,916
S/C/G: Fit & Fat!
Height: Tall & Strong, Baby!
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My DH is so like that! He wants me to eat naughty foods with him!!!
Good for you for saying "NO!".
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07-16-2008, 08:43 PM
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#4
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ONEderland here I come!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: maryland
Posts: 2,967
S/C/G: 286/210/200 (next goal)
Height: 5'2.75"
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Good for you.
keep saying no and eventually he'll stop being a jerk. at least about food.
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07-16-2008, 10:05 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 5,184
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You sooooo deserve the Award!
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07-16-2008, 10:30 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Richardson, Texas USA
Posts: 4,013
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Great job! Sorry he's not more understanding.
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07-16-2008, 11:42 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 137
S/C/G: 152/120/120
Height: 5 foot 3 inch
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Good for you! Keep on resisting and he will get bored of trying to tempt you.
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07-17-2008, 09:06 AM
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#8
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No longer super size!!!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 1,371
S/C/G: 282/ticker/190
Height: 6' 0"
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Great job Melanie!!! Way to go!
/side note Glad you enjoyed the cheesesteak. That's on the menu for tonight's dinner.
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07-17-2008, 11:20 AM
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#9
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Heather-Nic
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sunny So. Cal
Posts: 857
S/C/G: 293.5/248/220
Height: 5'7"
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Great job Mel!!! Keep it up!
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07-17-2008, 11:42 AM
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#10
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Healthy mommy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 1,418
S/C/G: 246/235/150
Height: 5'8 3/4
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Thanks everyone! Haha, he tried again... when he ate a klondike after dinner... and I became furious and let 'im have it and needless to say, I probably won't be hearing anything about the Klondike anymore.
(Wait a minute... I'm dating the Mouth of the South... also known as the world's most annoying person... he's the most TALKATIVE person in this county and everyone who lives in this county knows it... there is no way he's gonna stop. But that's okay, I've got a plan. He re-asked me to marry him the night before last and I'm not really sure about that right now. (as to whether I want to or not...) So, I can tell him there are some standards I want for a husband to meet before walking down the aisle, and one of them is to BE SUPPORTIVE WHEN I SAY NO I DON'T WANT THAT JUNKFOOD. Not sure if that will work, but worth a try.) Well it's day 3 and I'm holding strong... (last time, day 3 is when I committed my first screw-up..) This time I'm doing a lot better.
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07-17-2008, 12:22 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: California
Posts: 7,097
S/C/G: 197/135/?
Height: 5'7"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Melanie
He re-asked me to marry him the night before last and I'm not really sure about that right now. (as to whether I want to or not...) So, I can tell him there are some standards I want for a husband to meet before walking down the aisle, and one of them is to BE SUPPORTIVE WHEN I SAY NO I DON'T WANT THAT JUNKFOOD. Not sure if that will work, but worth a try.)
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I wouldn't say you have certain standards if in the end you're not willing to stick to them. It just teaches him to disregard what you say. Sometimes you have to take a little time and figure out just what is and what isn't negotiable, and what you are/aren't willing to do about it.
Congrats for sticking it out three days, you know you can keep it up
Last edited by JulieJ08; 07-17-2008 at 12:23 PM.
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07-17-2008, 12:54 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Richardson, Texas USA
Posts: 4,013
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Melanie - I'm going to give some advice but feel free to ignore it if you want to. I'm on my third failed marriage (first with a child) and experience has told me that I should have listened to any doubts I had before I got married. You can rarely change someone after you marry them. Personalities and behaviors don't normally improve with familiarity so, please, think carefully before agreeing to marry. I've heard you make some comments that have made me wonder whether your boyfriend is the best person for you to spend the rest of your life with. Only you can answer that but, especially when their are children involved, please take things slow and carefully.
I don't regret the choices that I have made because they have made me the person that I am but I probably should have made different choices.
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07-17-2008, 09:35 PM
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#13
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Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 76
S/C/G: 165/144/122
Height: 5'3"
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Aaahhh, MEN! Melanie, listen to your "gut" and trust your instincts - if you are having doubts, pay attention to them. I sure wish I had before I married my first husband - but I didn't have a strong enough sense of myself to feel that anyone else would "want" me....sad, but true. Lucky for me (and after I did a LOT of soul searching and hard work on myself) the second time is a CHARM!!!
You are doing a TERRIFIC job of taking care of yourself and making good choices! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!
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07-17-2008, 10:56 PM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 204
S/C/G: 147/144/120
Height: 5'4
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Melanie,
I'll add my two cents too, as I've been married twice. Adults rarely change major parts of their personality. He's the type of person who would tease you with food when he knows you're trying to live a different kind of life. You might give him feedback that will change that specific manifestation of his personality, but he'll still be the type of person who would do that. And he might not even change that manifestation. I think the difference between my first (failed) marriage and my second (happy and ongoing) marriage is that I knew the second time going in that that my husband was going to be the exact same man I had dated and lived with. The only thing that I could count on being able to control was my reaction to his behavior.
Great job resisting the ice cream! It feels so good to KNOW you can control what you eat.
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07-18-2008, 12:11 PM
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#15
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aka Sarah
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,221
S/C/G: 289/193/159
Height: 5'7"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Melanie
Today I'm making lasagna stuffed bell peppers. He went to the store and came back with Klondikes, shoving them in my face, like "Look Mel! Don't you want one!?" I was like, "Just keep those away from me." Then he kept bugging me, "just have one, it won't hurt!" I was like, "NO!" He kept on. "NO!" I got annoyed and told him to back off and be more supportive, so he shut up. He doesn't understand why one WOULD hurt and I tried to explain the GI thing to him but it was futile. Anyhow, very proud that I said no, I didn't even want the Klondike, nor do I now.
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What your BF was doing was actually talking to himself. Your change of diet presents a challenge to his own way of eating, habits, and maybe other parts of his life. He wants to believe that having a Klondike bar will not hurt him, but if you're not having them because they are, in truth, bad for you (bad for anyone!)...then that flies in the face of the denial he wants to keep living in. The easiest way for him to resolve this internal conflict would be to convince you that they're not bad; you eat one, then he doesn't have to feel like they're bad, either.
So, it's not really a matter of "support" at all. There's no way he can ever "support" you while he's actually waging a war against the positive changes you want to make, in an attempt to legitimize his own habits. Until he comes to realize the truth of his active resistance, the behavior will continue in one form or another.
And having been married twice myself, I have to agree with what all the other ladies say; people don't change much, if at all, after marriage. (At least not in positive ways! ) If he's not the man you want to marry right this minute, then it's highly likely your regrets and misgivings will only continue to pile up after marriage.
Last edited by WarMaiden; 07-18-2008 at 12:12 PM.
Reason: A couple small, dumb grammar mistakes.
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