Weight Loss Support - Relapsed and can't get back on board




mountain mama
07-16-2008, 02:07 AM
I'm feeling very dissapointed in myself. I starting my whole lifestyle change on feb 6th 2008. I lost 32 pounds.. then I hit my first plateau. I did lots of traveling around Canada and slowly started bending the rules I had in place for myself. I gained a few pounds and now i've gained over ten pounds back. I'm really dissapointment in myself and I feel very alone in this right now.

I want to get healthy and fit but i'm having trouble just DOING IT. There was a time a month or so ago when i could never see myself falling back into old habits.. but I find myself binging uncontrolably and making excuses to eat.

I wrote this speel in my journal the other day:

Iíve hit a stalemate. I saw some difference, and I remember telling myself that I couldnít possibly see myself going back to my old ways. I was repulsed when I thought back to how I would literally raid the baking shelf and mix up random concoctions to curb some sort of craving. I thought the days of eating pizza like I hadnít eaten in a week were gone. But itís back. I canít bring myself to move. I canít bring myself to just eat something healthy, or do something healthy. I have lost my power to say no thanks when Iím offering some kind of gooey sickening sweet treat and I have found myself having a sip or two of alcohol. I am disgusted with myself at the moment. A month ago I felt the complete opposite. I was all gung ho for everything positive, whether it was about food, exercise or life in general.
I could make a list of reasons why it happened.. And I can remember back to each step it took me to get here. I became someone who says that Ď I will start back in tomorrowí or Ďmonday.. Monday I will get back on the wagoní. Well, Mondays have come and gone and lord knows a lot of tomorrows have come and gone.
I have gained 10 pounds,.. Give or take a few and I canít believe it. I feel tired, snarly, lazy and depressed. My body is lacking nutrients, my emotions are out of control and I, in general am out of control. I donít know how to get back on it. I sit here and think about how much I miss Nik and I feel jipped out of our relationship since we can never seem to be together, I feel useless because while waiting for my Visa I canít really get a job in any location because Iím always leaving it. I feel like a stranger in my own home town. I donít want to have to be away from nik for a year and worry about him in Iraq. I feel like no one really understands what Iím going through.. And the ones that do are far away. SO there are my excuses. I could go on about how I know what vitamins can help my seretonin levels, or how to fix low cortisone or how itís all in my mind and I need to gain control but I donít want to.
I went from feeling better than I have in my whole life to feeling right back to where I was when I started.
Iím disgusted with myself. I need someone around me who is in the same boat as me. But I know itís me that has to do the work, and itís me that is the only one that can deal with the issues I have. I need to bunker down and just do it. Just do it.


I need to stop actig like I have everything under control.. because I don't. And I need some help.


H8cake
07-16-2008, 03:34 AM
:hug: hang in there. lot's of us pulling for you here!

JayEll
07-16-2008, 08:43 AM
Hey! :hug: From your journal excerpt, it sounds like you are having some pretty tough times! All alone in a new place, your husband off in Iraq... why wouldn't you be depressed?

All of us have setbacks from time to time, when the old ways seem to be reasserting themselves. Old habits are hard to break, and new habits haven't yet jelled.

I can suggest a couple of things. One is that you start right now back on your program. Not Monday, not tomorrow, not even after the next pizza, but right now. Go through your cupboards and get the junk foods out of the house. Then go to the store and stock yourself up on the foods you know are good for you and weight-loss-friendly. Plan some meals! Another thing is that you get some physical activity. Sitting on the couch is not going to make you feel better. You need to move! I'm not talking run a 5K right this minute--just go for a walk! And then work up from there.

Finally, can you find a counselor to talk to? Maybe someone at your church? What about support groups? You are not the only person whose spouse has gone away... So there are others you can talk with!

3FC has a thread in Support Groups for Military Wives, for example. You might want to post there...

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=92353

I think that you are ready to start over... because you posted here! :cheer2: We're here to help you--take some small steps!

Jay


Heather
07-16-2008, 09:10 AM
:hug:

In addition to what Jay said, it sounds like you have some kind of "all or none" thinking. At first you couldn't imagine going back to old ways, you were solid. But now you are out of control, completely gone in the opposite direction. You've learned the hard way that those bad habits can come back quicker than you think! I think that's an important lesson!

Jay gave some great advice, but if you're overwhelmed, you may have to "baby step" it back to healthy habits. In a way, this doesn't jibe with an all or none thinking. You start by picking a couple of things to change back (e.g., eating veggies, or getting exercise or watching portions). Then you do that for a few days and then make a couple more changes...

Know that you aren't alone! Lapses and relapses are common. I think virtually everyone finds that this happens. The trick is to learn how to get back on track!

Tomato
07-16-2008, 09:27 AM
Hi fauxtini (love your handle, BTW),

I am sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch. Can you promise yourself that you will do one good (i.e. healthy) thing each day? For example: right now, go for a walk. Or: eat low cal probiotic yogurt with some fruit. Go grocery shopping and buy lots of fruit and veggies. Buy ready-made salad if you don't have the motivation to make it yourself right now (My least favourite kitchen task is making salad, i.e. washing the lettuce, tearing it into bits, chopping the other ingredients, etc.).
Keep adding one little thing each day - I understand that it is not sometimes that easy to completely turn by 180 degrees - and soon you will be back to your healthy lifestyle again.
Hang in there and don't give up!

horsey
07-16-2008, 11:01 AM
I read a book that studied those who lost weight and kept it off for life. It said "most" people gained back some of it three times on the average before they REALLY stuck with their plans and kept it off for many years. I personally did the same thing, worked my tail off, lost weight, I'm losing the same lbs (hopefully am) and it's frustrating. And every time you lose they say it's harder to get off, and I believe that is true, this time around is harder. So my only words of encouragement is that it seems most have done this, lost and gained, then at some point - and hopefully I'll reach that point - we make the firm commitment to become fit and nutritious for LIFE. Not just during a period of dieting. We kick our old habits in the butt for good and set our priorities.

mountain mama
07-16-2008, 11:13 AM
Thanks guys.
I think it's just the support i need. Im currently staying at my mother's house and it's hard to keep the healthy food in and the unhealthy out in someone elses house.
It's so crazy.. i have read books up the yinyang and I KNOW what i have to do.. i think I just needed to get back on here, I need people to answer to. Having the group here to turn to is so great. I'm back in the babysteps of life and I'm on a quest to keep BUSY.

Thanks all, I'm getting back on the wagon, getting over the guilt of the relapse and moving ahead!

just keep swimming
07-16-2008, 11:48 AM
I went from feeling better than I have in my whole life to feeling right back to where I was when I started.

:hug: But you're NOT right back where you started. Even if you had gained it all back (which you haven't, so bravo for nipping it in the bud now), you would still have learned something, right? So take those lessons with you, and get right back to it.

P.S. We miss you over in the 5 lb challenges... :)

mountain mama
07-16-2008, 01:35 PM
P.S. We miss you over in the 5 lb challenges... :)

I miss you guys too! I'm on my way back!! I'll join in the first new challenge that starts :)

Tomato
07-16-2008, 03:24 PM
Thanks all, I'm getting back on the wagon, getting over the guilt of the relapse and moving ahead!

That's the attitude! :cp:

Mrs Snark
07-16-2008, 03:38 PM
I miss you guys too! I'm on my way back!! I'll join in the first new challenge that starts :)

Yeah, get your cute little fanny over with us! :hug:

Put the past in the past, it's not helping you now. Write yourself out a plan and focus on following it for today! Just focus on having a great day TODAY. No more thinking bad thoughts about yourself and no more guilt. Instead, think about how strong you are (you are, you know, it takes strength to get back on the horse!). You KNOW you can do it because you've done it before, you KNOW you have what it takes. You liked how you felt and that's worth fighting for. You CAN do it!!!

emjtaylor
07-20-2008, 06:56 PM
I read your thread about relapsed and struggling.

I am in the same situation as you are. :(
If that is a pic of you, you certainly DONT look your weight! :o)

I need some support, want to try help each other to keep motivated?
Im feeling tired, lazy and depressed as **** too.

But, we can do it, girlie.

Hugs.
xxxxx

SunshineCA
07-20-2008, 08:03 PM
Looks like you've made the right steps to getting back on track. :)

The best of luck to you! :)

mountain mama
07-20-2008, 08:19 PM
I read your thread about relapsed and struggling.

I am in the same situation as you are. :(
If that is a pic of you, you certainly DONT look your weight! :o)

I need some support, want to try help each other to keep motivated?
Im feeling tired, lazy and depressed as **** too.

But, we can do it, girlie.

Hugs.
xxxxx

Sure hun! I will send you a pm tonite :) I would love to be a support buddy with you!