[albertagirl11]

*sigh* I'm 24 yrs old, and I feel like I'm never going to meet anyone. It seems everyone, I meet I'm only a "good friend", or all the guy want is a "sex buddy". Well sometimes a girl's heart can't afford to be "just friends". Am I doing something wrong? I'm chunky, but I feel like I'm attractive most times... I'm losing weight, and I feeling better, but is my attitude coming across to people as negative? It's not just with guys, it's with meeting people in general. I'm new to this stupid city, and it's like nobody wants to be my friend except "co-workers", and well thats fine and all, but I want a life outside of work - Whats so hard to understand about that? It all feels like such a joke - I feel like not paying my rent, so I can get evicted (I signed a 12 month lease) and go back home, where I actually know people. I hate this place. And this is all affecting my diet because I'm very unhappy here... Like very unhappy. I know that conterdics itself for what I said above - I'm happy with me, but not really happy with living here. Make sense?

I know this doesn't have much to do with losing weight, it's just a "vent". grrrrr

[GradPhase]

It sounds like you need to get active with something outside of work! Get involved in things in the community - you'll meet loads of people, get ideas on the best places to eat and hang out, and start making a new life for yourself in this new area! It sounds like you may be tired, and fed up after a long day. Be sure to take a breath! My best friend once told me "Spreaded water, instead of quenching a fire, feeds the flames - You have to put out a burning house one room at a time". Best advice I ever got! You can't tackle it all, so start with one corner of problems at a time.

Are you interested in joining a gym? How do you feel about volunteering? Do you like organizing events? Even so much as finding a coffee shop to become a 'regular' at can really make you feel better about where you're living. (I've moved 14 times in 19 years- trust me!)

Hang in there, hun!! It'll get better, just remember to quench everything one room at a time

[mayness]

I feel a little hypocritical giving you advice on this, because I'm just awful at meeting new people (I'm married, but finding new friends, ugh) and I'm moving to a new city in a month and am bound to have similar problems.

You've still got some summer left... time to seek out concerts, festivals, outdoor movies, etc. Do you run or bike? Most cities have groups of people who run or bike together, that could be fun. If you speak a foreign language (or want to learn) there are usually groups for that, too.

It could be that this just isn't the place for you. I hesitate to recommend moving back home, but are there other cities you could live where you have a few friends or family members that could introduce you to people? I don't know how limited you are by your career. (And, obviously, it's worth paying the penalty to break your lease early some apartments really do call your past landlords!)

[Spoz]

Well what are you doing to get yourself out there? I totally relate, I work and the people there don't really invite me out. But pubs and clubs are great places to meet people, and you're always likely to make friends or just meet people. If you dont like drinking then go to an art class, a music gig! something you are interested in, and just go for it!

[CurvaceousCutie]

OMG u sound just like me but i stayed in my apt and it got bad for me i had lost 85 lbs prev andd then i moved and gained that back n bout 40 more lbs it was horrible i felt so alone in my apt i have friends but the never seem to be around cuz 1 is getting married and my other is married w/ 3 girls and well my guys friends i dont seem all that much cuz im just a girly girl. but as far as the dating scence like u its non exsitant. i just feel like im always alone even when there r ppl around but we should talk sometime we sound like we have alot in common. lol

[SlimmingDown]

Hey Alberta girl! Since college I've moved to new cities twice where I didn't know anyone. I made myself go out to the bars and that's how I met people. I met my bestfriend here by going to a sports bar to watch my team play football. It is hard, but you have to get out and do it. The more you stay in the harder it will be.

Good luck!

[JulieJ08]

Don't ever feel like you don't deserve better. Just because some guys act like f* buddies are the norm, does not make it true. I'm not trying to be prudish or even conservative here. If it's what you really want, then go for it. But if it's not good for you, then you absolutely deserve better. I think sometimes reminding yourself of that helps. Refuse to feel like there's something wrong with you. There's not.

[Iconised Ghost]

in my experience, it happens when you least expect it! I agree with everyone else- get out there, join some clubs, do hobbies you like, and enjoy yourself! A person that knows how to have fun is attractive imo and it'll take your mind off it. It will happen when you stop looking for it

[mrsgeb2]

alberta i know exactly how you feel hun!

it seems like whenever i like a guy he never really likes me or he just wants sex. i just had to let one go about 2 weeks ago because that's all our relationship had turned into and i wanted more and it was very clear he didn't. then the one that do like me i am not even attracted to a little bit.

i don't have very many friends either and i live in my hometown, which really sucks. i used to be wat smaller in high school and meeting people, guys and girls was never a problem but now with all my extra weight it's a lot harder.

sometimes it really seems like happiness does not exist. i'll see someone skinny and think i'm going to be like that one day and all my problems will be solved. there are so many things i want to do but will not be able to until i lose a lot more weight.

for some reason my mind and soul seems to think i won't be happy until i am as little as i want to be.

so sorry didn't mean to rant on your rant.

[Here we go again]

Hey there! I totally understand. I moved from Kansas City, MO to Sacramento, CA. It's roughly 2,000 miles and a cross two time zones. All my family is in Arkansas and at first it seemed like CA was a different country. Now, 4 months later I'm more happy than I ever have been. I don't hang out with people from work, they're all guys and married. I have found a good church where I've met some people. But I've really stepped out of my comfort zone. I remember something I heard once, "you would get over your fear of what people think about you if you realized how little they were thinking about you." I was like oh my goodness, that's so true! Most of the time people are too absorbed in their own stuff that they don't even think about anyone else.

I have started shopping by myself even if I don't buy something. I am going to start volunteering at the inner city boys and girls club. I'm more friendly when I'm out and it's been awesome. I feel good about myself and I'm happy. I don't always need to be around people to feel happy. I hope this helps. I understand your pain.