07-13-2008, 12:55 AM
i just found out that my bf is being deployed... he's been over there before, but came back just before we got together... I don't know any details (when, how long, etc) as he just found out himself. I've never been through this before... and i was hoping i could get a few words of wisdom from people that have been down this road themselves....
07-13-2008, 01:13 AM
My hubs is retired military.
There is a military spouses thread in the support forum,
Here it is
07-13-2008, 01:26 AM
My DH is retired Army now working as a contractor for the USAF, but due to a job transfer we may be going through the whole 'deployment' situation again. He may be getting transferred from Japan to Qatar (middle east), which means the rest of the family would be heading back to the states without him. :(
It's frustrating but hopefully your SO will have access to Skype or something similar so you can be in touch frequently. Tell you it was much different back when my husband went to Desert Storm. No Skype back then.
As a side note: I didn't even realize there was a forum for military spouses here. Thanks Clydegirl.
07-13-2008, 10:40 AM
My hubby and I are dual-army. I ETS in August, and he will be back from deployment later this year, hopefully by Christmas. We've been doing that revolving deployment thing. We'll catch each other for a week in Kuwait, then I go home and he goes into Iraq, then when he's being redeployed i'm on my way in. We've spent four weeks together in what has been nearly two years. Talk about frustrating!
I don't know what job your boyfriend does, but I would be amazed if he wasn't able to call you at LEAST a few times a week if not every day once he gets settled in. Just make sure he knows that you know 70-90% of the time he's going to be doing absolutely nothing useful and that YOU take precedence over any elite PS3 or XBOX tournaments they've got going on... and believe me, that is what they do most of the time. America's finest right thar'. :D
You may cry for awhile, but just know that it will pass and you've got to chin up and find something to do. A lot of us tend to lose our individuality when we get married or seriously involved, it becomes a "He and I", or "Us" mentality and this deployment period would be a great time to rediscover all of the stuff you pushed to the side, and it's definitely a great time to get in shape because you don't have to worry about cooking for him!
Enjoy the little perks -- sprawling out in the bed, getting to watch what YOU want to watch on tv, only having to do half as much laundry, and no toilet seats in the upraised position! And when he comes home, it's like a honeymoon, or falling in love all over again. :devil:
Just be ready for the adjustment period, and MAKE SURE HE TALKS TO YOU. You will probably have to be the biggest shove to get him into mental health if you suspect he's not right when he gets home. PTSD is no joke and depending on if he goes farther out than Kuwait or Quatar, he will probably have some symptoms when he returns home. The garbage truck banging in the morning still jolts me out of a dead sleep to throw on what I can and run to find cover, and ambulance or fire truck sirens make my heart race to this day. I still look for the IED explosions when I hear or see them drive by even though I know i'm at home. Be patient with him, and make sure he gets help if he needs it. F*%k military stigma and all that machismo, make sure he takes care of himself. The military does not give a crap about it's personnel and if he doesn't take the initiative, you can sure as **** bet nobody else will. I've lost too many friends to suicide because they were too scared to come forward and get what they needed due to supposed "leaders" that perpetuate those old vietnam-era ideas. Drinking water ain't gonna fix it, and neither is keeping it to yourself.
07-13-2008, 06:28 PM
My hubby is over in Iraq right now, he has been there a little over than a month.
Well at least if he is deploying after AUgust it will only be for 12 months.. I am hoping my hubs gets cut back to that.. but so far I am looking forward to 15 months.