Weight Loss Support - Why do I feel guilty?




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ars
07-11-2008, 09:48 PM
One of our drug reps at work brought in wonderful Panera Bread bagels today, and I helped myself to an Asiago bagel (minus the cream cheese). Yum! I certainly had room for the 370 calories in my day as I ate the bagel instead of lunch, yet I feel so guilty!

I cannot figure out why I'm having this feeling (still, typing this, more than 10 hours after the fact). I'm on plan. I'm at my target caloric intake for the day. It's not like I binged and ate several different bagels loaded up with cream cheese. The world didn't end because I ate a bagel, so what gives? Honestly, right now I feel like the bagel was some kind of evil, and I want a healthy relationship with food, not a paranoid-delusional one.

I think I just needed to vent really.


Naytally
07-11-2008, 10:23 PM
I do the same thing.

For me, its the idea that something so small could be so loaded with calories. Most bread products I use tend to be less than 100 calories for a good sized serving... I would feel terrible if I ate a bagel as well, even if I had the calories alotted for it. I think its just because we're doing so good and eating so healthy and when we even negotiate with ourselves to eat something like that, it makes it all seem so unworthwhile.

fiberlover
07-11-2008, 10:28 PM
Specific foods aren't inherently good or evil - it is the tag that we give them. You had a bagel (and I love those asiago ones!!), accounted for it and went on with your day.
Why let guilt ruin the pleasure of that meal? I think you were very successful having one bagel, and still being within your calories for the day. That's called working your plan, and is what allows you to have those items in moderation.

I eat 2 bagels a week, sometimes at Panera bread!


Lori Bell
07-11-2008, 10:32 PM
I'm guessing you feel guilty because you "spent" 370 calories on a product that has little or no nutritional value. Refined flour only has vitamins because it's enriched (with vitamins). I'm also guessing you feel guilty because you gave into a temptation, even though you technically didn't cheat. (good for you staying within your daily allowance) I'm also guessing that if you ate a huge salad with lots of tasty tomato, cucumbers, and red onion, you would not feel guilty!! :)

I've been there, done that, and still feel guilty when I make choices on a spur of a moment. It's like buying shoes. You go to the store intending to buy a good sturdy pair of everyday shoes because you need them...but the salesman shows you an expensive pair of adorable high heels party shoes that you really don't need... but really LOVE. You only have enough money for one pair, so you choose the great fancy shoes. You get home and think...why did I do that? Guilt sets in.

Pandora123a
07-11-2008, 11:53 PM
I have a different take on the guilt. We get very moralistic about food. We talk about being good and bad rather than eating healthily or not. (Which is why I like the phrase folks use here about being "on plan". On plan can include indulgence, but not binging.

I think we also equate eating healthy with some deprivation. You ate something you see as a treat and not a "diet food". You stayed on plan, but the indulgence conflicted with the message that you should be depriving yourself.

I think this is one of the reasons so many of us (at least me) have had a hard time maintaining weightloss when we have been successful. We equate it with never having fun foods!

mamaspank
07-12-2008, 12:34 AM
I have the same problem. Were you ever on a low-carb diet? Atkins completely rewired my way of thinking. Now that I am on WW, I still can't bring myself to eat a bagel. Weird. I haven't had a bagel in four years. It's so strange. Sounds like you didn't do any damage though. But, still, it begs the question: Were you ever on Atkins?

Rain Dancer
07-12-2008, 12:40 AM
I have a different take on the guilt. We get very moralistic about food. We talk about being good and bad rather than eating healthily or not. (Which is why I like the phrase folks use here about being "on plan". On plan can include indulgence, but not binging.

I think we also equate eating healthy with some deprivation. You ate something you see as a treat and not a "diet food". You stayed on plan, but the indulgence conflicted with the message that you should be depriving yourself.

I think this is one of the reasons so many of us (at least me) have had a hard time maintaining weightloss when we have been successful. We equate it with never having fun foods!


:cp::cp::cp: Well said!

zenor77
07-12-2008, 01:54 AM
You stayed within your calories so why hold on to the guilt? Instead give yourself kudos for not blowing your calories for the day in one meal (been there and done that myself.) Besides, it's not an everyday thing, right?

Life happens and always will. Along with losing weight we need to learn how to work in surprise foods that show up. You did something today that will help you with maintenance later on. Don't think of it as something to be guilty about, think about it as practicing a new skill.

BlueToBlue
07-12-2008, 03:04 AM
I struggle with this as well. Sometimes, even when I'm eating food that is completely in my plan and is good for me nutritionally, I'll feel guilty about it. It's particularly a problem when I eat foods where the portion size is large.

For example, I have a big green salad with my dinner every night. It's a really big salad--close to 10 oz and so big I have to eat it in a mixing/serving bowl. I often feel guilty about it because it seems so indulgent. I'm weighing everything I put in the salad, including the dressing, and every calorie is accounted for. Plus, it's vegetables, for Pete's sake (and vegetables with high water content, at that). When I was overweight, it wasn't vegetables that were the problem. But I still have to remind myself that it's okay to eat the salad.

Or if I make something for lunch or dinner that comes out really well and is a larger portion than I expected, I have to remind myself that it's okay to eat it. Occasionally I'll get so panicked that I'll convince myself I counted the calories wrong or that I forgot to log something (which has happened, so I'm not completely :crazy:). Then I have to go back and check everything to make sure I counted it all correctly.

And I definitely have recipes that just seem too good to be true--the calorie count seems way too low for how much I like the end result. I have to check and double check my analysis to make sure I've haven't miscounted anything.