40-Somethings - Im back home

View Full Version : Im back home

07-05-2008, 05:53 PM
:cry: and very emotional... first of all I am exhauted, been a few years since I have been up every 3 hours lol!!! And second, I was needed there, to help out, to give advice, to just be there....and here at home - not so much...and it makes me so sad For most of my adult life I have been defined as the triplets mom - or the mom with all the kids - now Im no body - I have to redefine who I am and I dont know how....I am so happy for my daughter, and so sad for me!!! I walked in the door of my house and about screamed " I do not want to be here" Honestly I think I am going off the deep end!!!!!

Im praying I feel better tomorrow :headache:

07-05-2008, 07:08 PM
Hey there...
I don't know you, but am only assuming you're a new grandma??!! What a beautiful baby...and I'm sure that you were greatly appreciated and needed by the new mom!

Now- back to you. Sounds like you're so used to taking care of others, that you haven't taken time to take care of you! The hardest thing to do is make yourself a priority, especially if you don't feel worthy. I say that you've made the first step -- recognizing that feeling, and seeking help!

Take some time, get alone, and think about YOU. I'd suggest writing things down. What do you want for yourself? What makes you happy? What do you want to change? What do you like about yourself? Just take an inventory of your life, and find the positive things to focus on....then pick ONE small thing you want to change, but make sure it's something that YOU have control of. You can't control how others feel about you, what they say to you, etc. - but you CAN control how you react! Eleanor Roosevelt once said something like "no one can make me feel bad about myself without my approval" - and I think it's a great thing to remember!

Just know that you are important to YOU!! YOu need yourself -- to take care of, to love, to talk to (yes!) -- so start by recognizing how special you are to yourself!

Best of luck!

07-06-2008, 11:43 PM
How are you doing today, theycallmemom? I hope after some rest, you're doing much better.

Sometimes when you're waiting so long and anticipating and preparing for an event, especially one as significant as a new baby in the family, once it all happens and you have to get back to normal, it's kind-of a let-down.

I can promise you one thing. You are NOT a "nobody!" I bet you did a pretty good job of raising your daughter, and I can tell already that you're going to be a fantastic grandma! And that's not a small thing!

I can relate to having things change in your life, and feeling like you don't have the thing you based your identity on anymore. For you it was having and caring for your kids, for some it's a husband who leaves...for me, it's a long story not worth going into now! It doesn't mean there's nothing out there for you though, or that nothing matters anymore. You just have to find something else that matters to you, and while you're looking, you'll probably find a lot more of yourself too.

Congratulations on that beautiful grandson of yours. And we're here if you need us!


07-07-2008, 01:00 AM
:hug: I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

You've had a lot going on the past couple of weeks.