Weight Loss Support - Telling yourself it's the last time...

07-02-2008, 10:52 PM
But it never is! Whenever I binge or eat something bad I always use the excuse of it being the last time. Today was HORRIBLE. I was at work all day (I work at a speciality grocery store where prepared foods and pasteries etc are constantly available) and couldn't keep myself away from the cookie samples. Then on lunch ate a bunch of chocolate covered peanuts and some gummy bears. I felt pretty bad about that so after work I walked all the way to the mall (over an hour), then there I felt the need to have some fries and a cinnabon. Again I felt bad and then walked all the way home (about 45 minutes). Needless to say I feel disgusting. The worst part is I wasn't hungry and I really wasn't even craving the bad food, I just felt like doing it. I always tell myself I'm "saying goodbye" to the food. How can I avoid overeating on days when I really just don't care about weight loss?

07-02-2008, 11:03 PM
At some point, the desire to eat things that are unhealthy for us is overpowered by the decision, commitment, and motivation to be smaller and healthier. Until you've made that commitment and decide to follow through, avoiding all the temptation out there in the world will be nearly impossible. It's hard enough with an ironclad commitment to being healthier!

So stop giving yourself permission to be off plan, and make a commitment to sticking to your plan.

07-02-2008, 11:31 PM
For me it was a habit. I always had something sweet and some part of the day, and if I didn't get it, I went overboard the moment I could get it. 2 bowls of Ice cream when I should have 1...2 bars of candy when I needed only 1. 3 sodas when I should have only water. But one day I said.. no I don't need it.. I want it but I don't need it. Then I had the power. I Know I can have it whenever I want. But I was in control.

Candy today? no...tomorrow?.. sure, but not today. 5 pices of candy?.. eh.. how about 3. 3 is good. i don't WANT anymore than three.

Maybe it's in your mind. You can't have it.. so you want it and when you get it you get as much as you can before you go back on the "cant have it " diet.

on days when you don't care about the weight and you MUST have something bad.. go ahead and get it.. BUT try this.. say.."I'm going to get that cinnabon but I'll only eat half.. and I WILL throw the other half away. Is the bun still worth it? do you still want it as bad knowing you'll spend money for only half? Remember you are in control. Just because you had something bad at lunch does not mean you have to fall off the wagon for the rest of the weekend.

07-02-2008, 11:38 PM
I second what mandalinn said, completely. You have to make room in your plan for some kind of yummy treat, so you don't feel (totally) deprived while you are losing. But even on the days where you don't feel like you have the willpower, you have to tell yourself that you have committed to your plan, and that is that. And if you have one spot during the day where you indulge more than your plan allowed, don't think you have blown the whole day and allow yourself to eat anything that day. Get back on the wagon the moment you are unhappy with what you are doing, even mid-bite. Every bite is a choice: you don't just find yourself doing it. The sooner you get control, the happier you will feel, and the lighter you will get!

07-02-2008, 11:59 PM
Any diet where you tell yourself "you can never have this again" is not going to work.

STart working on the mindset that ( a ) you don't have to binge because ( b ) you can have the food you want if you really want it.

I had potato chips today with my sandwich when I went to lunch with a friend. First of all, I removed all but 15 chips from my plate. The ones I removed, I wrapped in a napkin, crunched into little crumbs, and tossed to the birds (nice side benefit of eating on the patio of the deli!). Then I thoroughly enjoyed the 15 chips that were 1 serving for 140 cals.

Tomorrow I am already planning to have frozen yogurt after dinner (going to watch movies in the park with another group of friends ... and there will be a frozen yogurt stand there). I know a small cup of frozen yogurt is 90 cals. I'll eat a healthy dinner and *thoroughly* enjoy my yogurt while I sit on a blanket at the park.

On monday I had 2 (yes, 2 ... what a lush!) glasses of red wine with / after dinner. 240 cals .. and worth every sip!

I don't forbid myself anything. I never tell myself this is the last time I can ever eat this. I have to say goodbye to all my favorite foods. Because if I did that, I'd NEVER last. I don't want to never ever eat ice cream for the rest of my life. I won't give up my red wine.

Quit sabotaging yourself with the all or nothing mindset and start thinking in terms of moderation! :)

YOu can do it!!


07-03-2008, 12:25 AM
I finally gave my self permission to fall off the wagon. I found that if it wasn't a big deal, I didn't feel guilty and compound one slip up. Now if I indulge, or over indulge) I watch what I eat later in the day or the next day. I also hit the gym a little harder.

When sweating like a cow, looking at my profile in the mirror as I do crunches, I regain my motivation to stick with my weight loss plan. :D

07-03-2008, 12:37 AM
I don't really understand why anyone would tell themselves its the last time they will eat something "bad". I mean, seriously, are you never going to eat chocolate again? Never going to have some ice cream? You don't really intend on never eating anything sweet again, do you? You are just setting yourself up to fail and to feel guilty. Everytime you do mess up you'll go crazy because you already messed up and you want to get your fill because you've told yourself you can never do that again. Everyone likes to have a little junk sometimes and that is okay. Plan ahead, let yourself have some indulgences and keep yourself in control of the situation. Do not beat yourself up because you had chocolate. You'll feel bad...and eat more...and feel bad...and eat more. Cycle continues on and on and on.

07-03-2008, 01:11 AM
This really depends on the individual. I'm not the kind of person who can have just "some" sugary stuff. If sugar is in my diet, I cannot control my consumption of it. However, if sugar is not in my diet, then I am able to cut it out completely and not miss it.

The "just be moderate and you'll be OK" advice has always bothered me when it's administered to every single person, or as if it's the 100% cure-all to cravings and bingeing. Not everyone is the same.

07-03-2008, 01:43 AM
I think you should limit yourself in some way w/ treats. For example, tell yourself that you have to have one sweet item (give yourself the size you allow yourself and set up ahead of time) per day. So, instead of going to have a whole Cinnabon...what about asking them for a sample? I allow myself a ziplock bag of frozen grapes every day. To me, it tastes so good that I *almost* feel guilty, but I don't. Also, I allow myself to have it at the end of the day, when the kids are asleep and I can savor it. In the past, I wouldn't have thought this was such a treat, but now, it is. My taste buds and commitment level have changed. You gotta really think about what will work for you. Also, be armed w/ gum wherever you go (that's what works for me). The second I see something I want and I start drooling, I have a piece of low-cal gtum (I like 5 gum, cuz it lasts longer than I do!). That way, I feel in control. Weird, but true. Of course this doesn't always work! There are plenty of times when I have bad days....like your day. But, I jump back on because I know I gotta do this. I gotta get to my cute jeans!!!!

07-03-2008, 01:50 AM
Thanks guys for all the replies!

I agree with the above, once I have some sugar or something carby I can't stop. I tried the atkins diet because of this. On this diet I was terrified to eat any sugar or bread because I'd heard so many horror stories about gaining a ton of weight in a day. I think that put way too much pressure on me and made the diet that much worse.

I decided to go off that and instead do low calorie with low carb but not ultra low carb like atkins. I found atkins was like a cult, and lead to bingeing. I only switched to this a few days ago and the days have not been good. I'm having problems with portion control whenever I eat carbs.

The next 4 days I'll be visiting family. I have siblings that are 3, 5, and 9 so there's bound to be a ton of junk food in the house, it'll be the ultimate test I'm sure.

I do agree however that allowing whatever you want is good sometimes. I find most of the time I don't eat what I really want and eat a ton of other satisfying things that add up calorie wise fast, then in the end I end up eating whatever I was craving anyways. I think I should instead allow myself something I love once a week so I have something to look forward to, thanks for that advice!:carrot:

SS Mama
07-03-2008, 03:06 AM
I struggled/struggle with this. Its an unhealthy and expensive habit. I pray for strength to control my behavior and that helps me.

SS Mama
07-03-2008, 03:10 AM
I agree. Today I wanted to eat something "bad" I was just dying to. So I looked on my fitday and saw how many calories I had free and went and found something that fit the slot. I made a pizza! Yum, hit the spot.

(My first choice was a bag of chili fritos, but then I read the label!! Gak, no wonder I gained weight, I used to eat a bag of chips a day!)

07-03-2008, 07:15 AM
Label reading, yes!

I was blown away by what one serving was supposed to be vs. what I ate if I felt like it. Calorie counting has taught me a lot about the nutritional value of food. Measuring cups and my scale are some of my best friends now.

Try to develope a heathy paranoia of foods with no label. If you don't know how it's going to affect your totals for the day ... step away!

07-03-2008, 08:20 AM
sm177, another thing to consider is that you're already in a healthy weight range for your height at 122. I'm not saying chocolate covered peanuts and cinnabon will keep you there for long, but it sounds like you're being unnecessarily strict and then binging because you feel deprived. If you focus on this process as a healthy way of eating and not 'I have to get to 110 pounds no matter what', you'll be a lot more successful.

Maybe, if you're not already, add some weights to your workout so you can start toning. That will dramatically change the way you look and feel inside your skin, and in the end that matters more than what the scale says.

07-03-2008, 08:25 AM
A dietician (who had lost 100+ pounds once told me "Don't think that this is the last binge or hot fudge sundae you will ever have. Think that this is the last UNPLANNED binge or hot fudge sundae."

That has proved very helpful to me. I too can feel like "I just have to have this, I'll never eat it again...this will be the last time." Remembering that it won't be the last time (or at least doesn't have to be the last time) makes it easier to turn away.

The cycle gets even better. As I eat less of the stuff, I want it less, and enjoy it less when I do have it! It just doesn't taste as good to me.

I read here that losing weight doesn't take motivation, it takes commitment. We are all motivated...are you commited?

07-03-2008, 08:26 AM
Hey! :wave:

"This is the last time" is a game. By telling yourself that, you get to eat whatever item has struck your fancy. And, you probably believe it completely at the time.

I'd say, drop that game! One reason I like calorie counting is that there are no forbidden foods--just numbers I have to account for. So, it's up to me. Am I really going to use THAT many calories for THAT one food? Sometimes yes... most of the time, no.

Oh, I do have trigger foods that I have to avoid--or, if I decide to have them, it has to be in a controlled environment. For example, I never buy a carton of ice cream at the store, telling myself I'll only eat "a serving." Forget it, I'm not that strong. If I want ice cream, I buy a dish or a cone somewhere so it's limited.

And, I count the calories in my daily total. Of course. Although no food is off limits, every food counts.

Also, you didn't say what your target calorie level is, but make sure you're not going too low. If you're getting too hungry, it's even harder to avoid bingeing. Slow weight loss is just fine.

Good luck! :cheer2:


the slim me
07-03-2008, 08:47 AM
I agree with all of the above. Telling yourself something is off limits and you're "BAD" if you eat it, or food is "bad" just makes you want it more. Food is not "bad". Sometimes you might make a bad decision. I love chocolate. I couldn't stay on a diet that didn't allow chocolate. I have one really good piece of chocolate every day with my afternoon tea. I choose it carefully, enjoy every bite!! It's something i look forward to and it takes care of my chocolate craving. You can have what ever you want, just plan for it.

07-03-2008, 01:51 PM
Thank you guys so much for the advice! Reading it now I'm definitely understanding my problem more. I find I always "know" what I should be doing, but putting the plan into action is always a rough time.

I know I'm at a healthy weight but it's not a "happy" weight. I know that if i continued to eat the way I used to I'd be huge in no time. I figure it's easier to lose the weight now (at 20) instead of at 30 or 40. I want to adopt a healthy lifestyle at an early age so I can be smooth sailing for the rest of my life.

Weight training is actually a big part of why I lost weight initially. I've cut down a lot because I feel like my arms have too much muscle and with the fat added on my arms are too big. My main issue is eating. I run fairly often and I'm pretty much active all day everyday. I live downtown so I walk/bike everywhere and my job requires me to be walking for most of the day. My university also has multiple free gyms that I can go to whenever I want. Really, I have NO excuse to not lose weight. I live with my dad that runs 5-6 marathons a year, hes a health nut so my apartment literally only has healthy food, I just eat too much of it.

I now realize my issue really is commitment. I've only been on this board for a few days and it's really helping, you guys are all so amazing! Next time I'm craving something heavily I'll try having a small piece and stopping there, then get right back on track.

07-03-2008, 02:05 PM
This really depends on the individual. I'm not the kind of person who can have just "some" sugary stuff. If sugar is in my diet, I cannot control my consumption of it. However, if sugar is not in my diet, then I am able to cut it out completely and not miss it.

Same here! This very thing has been one of my major problems for the last five or so years.

Also, I'm THE emotional eater, and until last winter, I wasn't aware of this. Then I found out that my REAL problem is not eating, but suppressed grief. I mean, I knew I was grieving and feeling terrible about several losses that have occured in my life, but I never saw the link between that and my drastically changed eating patterns. Now that I'm aware of it, it's actually a lot easier for me to say no. Now I ask myself whether grief is trying to take over control, or whether I'm upset about something or proud of something or bored or whatever, and if I find that this is so, then I force myself to live through the emotion instead of covering it up with food. Because that's what I do (or hopefully, used to do).

Strangely enough, I also find that if I haven't had any bad stuff for a couple of days in a row, my emotionally triggered cravings get much weaker. So I think, for me these two factors go hand in hand.