Weight Loss Support - Is there ANYONE who is pretty much in the same place today as when they started?




2Bthinagain
06-30-2008, 08:30 AM
Long thread title - sorry!
Anyway - I will fess up that even though I've "tried", I'm still pretty much at the same place as when I joined 3FC.
I am 5 pounds lighter grand total than when I first joined the site. No - I take that back - I bet I'm heavier than when I first joined. I guess I'm thinking my weight from a year ago - didn't realize I've been here since Sept 2006!

I've been as much as 12 pounds lighter - but that's when I get stuck.
I hit 212 and the scale just won't budge. I will work hard, walk a LOT, eat healthy -- and then NOT drop an ounce, or worse -- I'll gain 3 pounds !
This is when I say "screw it"...and I don't try as hard. I will eat an Oreo and :yikes: a coke.

It's been the SAME cycle since I joined. I can not get past 212, and 14 pounds lost. Right now I'm on the up-swing. I had been 216 on Friday, today I'm 219. And I did my 10,000 steps yesterday! I didn't eat "perfect", but I don't think I ate enough to gain.

How do I get over this rut? How do I stop kicking the scale and toughen up? Where is my drive to beat this? I do NOT want to go the lap band route. I have some "hydroxycut" but I am afraid to take it. I want to do this the "old fashion" way....but in all this time, I'm pretty much at the same place.

Is there ANYONE else out there who is also pretty much in the same place? My goal for the LONGEST time has been to break 210. I can't even do that !
My summer goal was to get to 190. Ha ! As if that will happen!

We have a thread over in the weight loss groups for people trying to lose 70 pounds - give or take -- many people have joined in -- just for a short time-- then they are gone forever...right now there are TWO of us, and this makes me wonder if those others are just like me -- they quit posting because they aren't dropping the lbs. If so - please come back and join our "that 70s show thread". We have one fabulous success story there - and she is the only reason I keep checking in.


:( just looking for support.

Thanks!


Heather
06-30-2008, 08:36 AM
I'm not in the same place as I started, but I can certainly sympathize. I have been there in the past, and I think it's a common problem!

It sounds like one problem might be that you expect a close connection between your behaviors and the weight on a scale. In my experience, it can take days for good behaviors OR bad behaviors to show up on the scale. In part because it takes food a while to get digested and for other metabolic functions to occur, and in part because our weight on the scale is ALL of us (including water which fluctuates a LOT).

It sounds like you get discouraged when the scale doesn't show quick response... and then sabotage yourself (or I read your post wrong)

Maybe you should pay less attention to the scale? Weigh less often and look for other ways to measure your progress?? (fitness goals, clothing fit, etc)

Please don't give up! I think if you can stay committed you can get past this!!!

2Bthinagain
06-30-2008, 08:42 AM
Thanks for the post Heather, and for the confidence. Your pictures are awesome by the way !!

I have gone in phases of not touching the scale - then when I do it, it's just the same -- and then I try to get on each day. Then I get mad and won't get on in weeks.

I think one problem is -- when I don't get on -- and don't know the "true" number I figure - okay I can eat this oreo and the next oreo..because "I have time before I get on the scale again".
So not getting on it is probably doing more harm than good - least in my case.

I know you are right - it takes days for for good behavior to show up on the scale. We have a trip to Disney planned in the fall - and I thought once the plane tickets were purchased I'd really have to force myself to drop weight...but I can't get over this bump. :cry:


midwife
06-30-2008, 08:47 AM
If you would have asked me a year ago, the answer would have been yes.

I joined 3FC nearly 4 years ago. I got down to 178, couldn't break through, stopped my health behaviors and bounced back up to 204.

Two years ago, I recommited. Worked hard, got to 178, freaked out at the plateau, reverted to old behaviors, bounced back to 204.

September 28, 2007, I'd had enough. Jumped back into my healthy behaviors. 178 rolled around in February. I started to freak a little. My dreaded plateau, that destructive number. I signed up with a personal trainer. Learned how to lift weights and to eat to build muscle (previously I was a calorie counter). I blasted through 178....and that was 20 pounds ago.

Wow. That's the first time I've done that math. Heh.

I wish I could say "Do X, Y, & Z" and you'll beat this. I do think that eating very healthy, whole foods, lots of fresh foods, avoiding processed junk; daily weighing (for me); a combination of strength and cardio; all of those have helped me tremendously. Plus the support on 3FC and in my life.

But I know that this time is the time it clicked. Weight loss and maintenance is now more important to me than any food, not exercising, binging, soda, fast food, anything. That doesn't mean I am perfect. There are days that I eat what I shouldn't, or don't exercise, but those days are very rare and I get right back on my plan ASAP. That is the main difference between my other journeys and this one. Getting back on plan, rather than watching my health implode.

I wish I could bottle it and sell it. Heck I would give it to you for free. But I can't. I can tell you this: When you are ready, nothing will stop you. You CAN do this. Never give up.

shelby897
06-30-2008, 09:11 AM
I'd raise my hand if I could on here :D

I'll have to look back, but I know I've been on over a year but didn't stop playing games with myself until March and I'm still not totally committed, but I'm getting there :)

Sometimes the scales are my friend, sometimes I have to throw them away. Sometimes I feel like I can do this on my own, right know WW is doing it with me. It's a constant struggle, but I'm tired of being overweight, out of shape, tired, etc. It may be easier to overeat and not care -- but it's definitely not in my best interest.

My other "scare tactic" is my track record. I would rather try to lose weight and not than my alternative -- I have yet to eat everything I want and not gain weight. I would never stay at a certain weight without some effort -- I will always gain.

You'll get there -- the best strength you have right now is that you are not giving up. You can do this -- I know I could lose faster if I completely stuck to it, but I just can't do that right now, so every little bit is an accomplishment to me.

Good luck, hang around and don't let the 3FC drop outs get you down!!! I bet they all come back eventually anyway :hug:

2Bthinagain
06-30-2008, 09:22 AM
Thanks for the support. I guess I feel "hopeless".
Everyone else has this light bulb that goes off - where is mine? Why on earth do I think if I drink a coke - and don't get on the scale, it won't count? Who the heck has that kind of logic?

Then when I'm doing WELL and I see pounds drop -- when I get stuck I get so friggin mad!!! And I give up.

I've heard SO many people say that the alternative is worse and to just keep at it. Yes, I am a victim of the drive-thrus. That is one habit that must go.
As I hang my head in shame.

I have never been a veggies person or much fruit for that matter.
Thanks for the support everyone. I feel like such a slacker, and such a pathetic "dieter". I truly do want to be thin again - for more reasons than I can count.

I'll keep pluggin' along.

Thanks so much.

jillybean720
06-30-2008, 09:27 AM
There have been times on here where I've weighed about 20 pounds MORE than my starting 3FC weight. So, I wasn't in the same place I started--I was regressing :D

Until I regressed myself right into type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure. That's where I am now. I no longer see losing weight as an option or an "it would be nice if..." It's now a priority. It should have been all along, really.

I guess that's all that's worked for me is making my health and weight a priority. Sure, despite the health issues, I'm still fully capable of grabbing junk food and chowing down. I mean, there's nothing wrong with my mouth, my stomach, my digestive tract. I won't suddenly die or lose a foot from having a couple Oreos. But those Oreos are not my priority. Those Oreos will not make me healthier or happier in the long run.

My fiance and I ate out yesterday. They brought bread to the table (Italian bread with the oil and spices to dip it in--YUM). My fiance ate some bread. I actually went as far as putting my hand in the basket and grabbing a piece, but I just dropped it and shook my head. Would that piece of bread have killed me? No. Would a single piece of bread make me gain weight? Of course not. But what it WOULD have done is made me feel guilty, made me feel like I'd done something "wrong," possibly set off cravings for other foods I currently don't want in my life, and not gotten me any closer to my goals.

cheeseheader
06-30-2008, 09:42 AM
I too have felt that way especially recently. I joined WW over a year ago and i've only lost 12 lbs and I felt like I should have been further along. But then I started looking at it another way. I was 12 lbs lighter and if I was doing nothing I would be way heavier. And even with just 12 lbs, I hit a major milestone, I got my bad cholesteral down to a normal range. So even if the scale doesn't say what you want, look for other positives with the weight you have lost. Keep doing it and the scale will catch up.

JayEll
06-30-2008, 11:29 AM
Hitting sticking points are hard. Mine is 150, and I've been right around this weight for a long time, even when I've been trying to lose.

Not all of us have a light bulb moment--sometimes it's just a decision we make one day. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like anything changed, and yet we're doing things differently. But no one seems to get accidentally "struck thin." Just doesn't happen that way.

This is when I say "screw it"...and I don't try as hard. I will eat an Oreo and a coke.

What's not said there, of course, is that you don't stop at "an" Oreo and "a" Coke... ;) And away we go! I know how that is...

Some of this is habit. I've seen parents shove food at children whenever the children cry or are upset about something. The message is, if you can't have what you want, you can at least have some treat food. Conditioning like that is basic training for future obesity, isn't it?

So--I could suggest that you look at your relationship with food. What are the things that food represents to you? Is food a reward, a soothing drug, a way of relaxing? Does a weight loss program mean punishment, eating things you don't like, never having "good" foods? Do you expect that if the scale won't do what you want, you are justified in eating off-plan foods? Do you think that if you do everything right, you are guaranteed results--and if you don't get them, you have a free pass with the Oreos?

I wish I could use a magic wand :wizard: and change things for you! All I can say is, Keep trying. Don't give up. :cheer2:

Jay

AJ113
06-30-2008, 11:50 AM
.....Is there ANYONE else out there who is also pretty much in the same place?....What does it matter? It's YOU that matters, and YOU have the power to sort this out. Really.Where is my drive to beat this?It has given way to thisMy summer goal was to get to 190. Ha ! As if that will happen!The power of the mind cannot be underestimated, it is colossal. Currently you are telling yourself that you will fail (self-talk) and guess what happens? You fail. Start telling yourself you're going to succeed. Tell yourself you will be 190 by summer. Do it often. Your brain will believe you, your body will follow.

If you don't change direction, you will end up where you are heading. Change your attitude, change your self-talk, and you will see changes elsewhere. You CAN do it! Go for it!

Annita
06-30-2008, 12:06 PM
you're 219, and your goal for summer is 190. it's 29 pounds, and you have 3 months for a summer. I absolutely think you can do it. But as AJ said, stop self-talk that you won't meet that goal. At least, you are the one that should be the one believe in yourself if you want this journey to succeed. If you can't believe in yourself, then it'll most likely fail. So even if your scale doesn't say thing you want (i'm not friendly w/ my scale either), but no matter what happen, tell youself "I DEFINITELY can do it, and surely will succees". So keep trying.
I hope to hear from you and your journey more often :)

rockinrobin
06-30-2008, 12:56 PM
I truly do want to be thin again - for more reasons than I can count.

For me, it boiled down to JUST HOW BADLY I wanted to be thin again. You have to really, really, REALLY want it badly enough. That the food doesn't matter anymore. Just the desire to be the very best YOU that you can be. To end the misery, and yes, I was miserable. No more settling for second best when first best is WELL within your reach. I realized, once and for all, that if I didn't WANT to be fat, well then, I didn't HAVE to be fat.

I have never been a veggies person or much fruit for that matter.

Nor was I. I was never a lot of things. But, I became them. You CAN become whatever you set your mind to. That thin, healthy, fit and trim person for one. It is amazing, simply amazing what we are capable of when we set our minds to it. The sky is the limit. :hug:

kaplods
06-30-2008, 01:26 PM
I've lost just over 50 lbs. Sounds great, until I say it's taken me three years to do it.

That's rather deceptive, because it sounds like I was working as hard as I could have been, and that's not true. There were a lot of factors in why I didn't put more into it, and a few of them weren't even under my control (most of them, however were).

And yet, to be able to go on "autopilot" so often and still not regain weight. I still can't completely comprehend my ability to do it. Up until three years go, I would have told you that although I could maintain a weight "not trying" that is if I don't "diet" at all my weight stabilizes (though at my highest weight). But I've never, ever had a three year downward trend. And at anything other than my highest weight, I have only experienced "rapid losing," and "more rapid gaining."

Also, not all of my progress can be measured in poundage. In the last three years, my sleep apnea has dissapeared, my autoimmune disorder has gone into remission (we think), I can shower like a normal person and wash my hair without pain, I can dress myself without pain, my asthma has disappeared, I can shop small stores, I can shop large stores like Sams and Wamart without an electric cart, I can walk on uneven ground - not just sidewalks.....

All of those things I took for granted when I was younger and ignoring the warnings to get the weight off before my metabolism slowed and my health would suffer. And once I was on the downward cycle at first it was so slow I didn't notice it. So my knees hurt a little, but then it seemed to happen so fast I was able-bodied one minute, and on disability the next.

Of course that's not true. It didn't happen in a minute, it happened over years. So, in a sense it isn't a shocker that undoing the damage isn't going to happen over night. And just like the downward spiral, the upward spiral will actually gain momentum. The more strength and stamina I gain, the more effort I am able to put into this (and hopefully fire up my metabolism, in the process).

It is frustrating to have to work a thousand times harder than I did at 20, especially knowing that if I had mastered this at 20 I wouldn't have wasted so much time and life.

But ALL of that, I can't spend too much time "what if-ing" or regretting. That's just a distraction. The past "doesn't exist anymore," as they say, and neither does the future, so all we have is the present. What am I going to do TODAY to get closer to my goal?

I realize that all of my progress (even though it took 3 years) was a cumulative effects of "todays." All of the todays (days I worked on my goals) were responsible for my progress. My lack of progress can be attributed to all of the "tomorrows" that never became todays. You know when you decide that "tomorrow" you're going to "start" exercisng or eating right, but you don't and instead say to yourself "tomorrow, I really will...." but don't, and put it off for yet another day.

When I think of how many "tomorrows" never materialized into complete "todays," I can get depressed and self-hating, but those are feelings that tend to make it harder to have a real today. I have to put that all aside and do the work to make this a today worth being proud of.

LauraNS
06-30-2008, 05:08 PM
I TOTALLY empathize.

At one point i was on a "plateau" for 2 years......with the help of exercise, eating and a trainer. Broke the plateau when i went on holidays......go figure. Lost about 50 lbs. Now i'm stuck again. And i just had one of those "frigg it weeks - i don't care ". For some unknown reason i didn't gain weight.:shrug:
I've bounced around and i'm coming up to my "dreaded number" on the scale ( if i get there again ). Sometimes i wonder if it's some psychological fear that causes certain hormones/chemicals in the body to be released and it totally disables any attempts to get past that number. Doesn't make sense but neither does not being able to get past that number on the scale.

I'm trying some much higher intensity exercise and some thing totally different from what my body is used to. I'm losing a tiny bit again. Have you given that different exercise approach a try? It's not easy....that's for sure. I really have no answer for you.......i've just rambled on here because i want you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this. Don't hesitate to send me a message.... maybe we can brainstorm together if you like.

I"ve decided to keep trying........hope you will too. :cheer:

Laura

:df::df::df::df::df:

KforKitty
06-30-2008, 05:39 PM
I can identify with many of the successful losers here. There was definitely something different when I commited myself to losing weight (again) this time than before. I really can't tell you what it was but I know something just 'clicked' and I wanted to be of normal weight more than I wanted food. Its like a burning desire.

People comment on how strong-willed I am and how much will power I have. But I've always been strong-willed and I have lost large amounts of weight in the past but never got all the way to a healthy weight for me. I have a lot of self-believe this time around, I've banished the negative self-talk and replaced 'I can't' or 'I won't' with 'I will'. When I started I don't think I truely believed I could get to goal but I know I have the necessary tools to get there.

One thing I have realised that is different from before is that I always used to tell myself that as long as I was 'good' 9 times out of 10 then I'd get there. Now I believe its more like 99 times out of a 100. Yes I have the occasional off-plan moment but it is occasional - like 4 or 5 times in a year not once or twice a week. For me now then if that what it takes to succeed then I'm going with it:carrot:

Kitty

2Bthinagain
06-30-2008, 07:43 PM
you're 219, and your goal for summer is 190. it's 29 pounds, and you have 3 months for a summer. I absolutely think you can do it. But as AJ said, stop self-talk that you won't meet that goal. At least, you are the one that should be the one believe in yourself if you want this journey to succeed. If you can't believe in yourself, then it'll most likely fail. So even if your scale doesn't say thing you want (i'm not friendly w/ my scale either), but no matter what happen, tell youself "I DEFINITELY can do it, and surely will succees". So keep trying.
I hope to hear from you and your journey more often :)

Words well spoken. I love the way you phrased everything. I'm glad you have faith that this is "Do-able", and you are probably right, I am setting myself up to fail rather than "I can beat it".

Thank you for your support!

2Bthinagain
06-30-2008, 07:46 PM
I TOTALLY empathize.

At one point i was on a "plateau" for 2 years......with the help of exercise, eating and a trainer. Broke the plateau when i went on holidays......go figure. Lost about 50 lbs. Now i'm stuck again. And i just had one of those "frigg it weeks - i don't care ". For some unknown reason i didn't gain weight.:shrug:
I've bounced around and i'm coming up to my "dreaded number" on the scale ( if i get there again ). Sometimes i wonder if it's some psychological fear that causes certain hormones/chemicals in the body to be released and it totally disables any attempts to get past that number. Doesn't make sense but neither does not being able to get past that number on the scale.

I'm trying some much higher intensity exercise and some thing totally different from what my body is used to. I'm losing a tiny bit again. Have you given that different exercise approach a try? It's not easy....that's for sure. I really have no answer for you.......i've just rambled on here because i want you to know YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this. Don't hesitate to send me a message.... maybe we can brainstorm together if you like.

I"ve decided to keep trying........hope you will too. :cheer:

Laura

:df::df::df::df::df:

Laura, thank you so much, so many people have posted that understand. Congrats on your 50 pound loss! Heck I can't even get past a 12 pound loss! I know I'm not giving it 100% I find every excuse in the book and I make up new ones. I don't know why that is. I will PM you for sure! Thanks a million for the suppor!

2Bthinagain
06-30-2008, 07:49 PM
Kitty:
I need my "something" to click. How does that happen??? I wish I were strong willed - I'm so weak, as I told someone else, I can come up with all the excuses as to why this isn't working and why I can't...I just need that PUSH from inside. Least you are good 9 out of 10 times, it's almost in reverse for me!
Your post and all the others are helping to pull me back to where I should be! Thanks so much!!!

2Bthinagain
06-30-2008, 07:54 PM
Just want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who have taken the time to post and who continue to post.
I have read every word - and I'm sorry if I haven't replied yet directly to you. I am glad to know that there ARE others who have been there and truly understand. This is the hardest fight of my life.
I can do it all and be it all for my kids -- but not for myself -- and my DH says I should also want to do this for US because the romance is really in crappy shape. I have no interest in - well you know -- :o
I am so ashamed of my body. When we were dating I was the hot chick that everyone gave a double look too. When I'd visit him at work, heads would turn, now I avoid his office Christmas party and never ever visit his office.
If I detest looking the way I do, then why can't I fix this?
In my original post - I neglected to say that I had been thin my ENTIRE life until I had our children. Our oldest is 6. I was 133 when we were first married. And I thought I was fat at 133. ?????
Can you feel my pain and tell my heart is truly breaking?
Sorry to dump on everyone, but thank you for being there.

snapless
06-30-2008, 08:24 PM
I can identify with many of the successful losers here. There was definitely something different when I commited myself to losing weight (again) this time than before. I really can't tell you what it was but I know something just 'clicked' and I wanted to be of normal weight more than I wanted food. Its like a burning desire.

People comment on how strong-willed I am and how much will power I have. But I've always been strong-willed and I have lost large amounts of weight in the past but never got all the way to a healthy weight for me. I have a lot of self-believe this time around, I've banished the negative self-talk and replaced 'I can't' or 'I won't' with 'I will'. When I started I don't think I truely believed I could get to goal but I know I have the necessary tools to get there.

One thing I have realised that is different from before is that I always used to tell myself that as long as I was 'good' 9 times out of 10 then I'd get there. Now I believe its more like 99 times out of a 100. Yes I have the occasional off-plan moment but it is occasional - like 4 or 5 times in a year not once or twice a week. For me now then if that what it takes to succeed then I'm going with it:carrot:

Kitty

Wow, you are describing me. I was too skinny when I hit 20, and over the years the weight just packed on...but, I had my ups and downs. I'd half-a$$ exercise for 3 months, or semi-diet for 6 months (I don't think I -ever- gave up sodas in the past), and lose (not back to my age 20 weight)...then I'd slowly 'creep' back up past what I'd weighed when I started.

This time when I hit 200, I realized. I'm almost 40. I can't do anything about getting older, but I refuse to be old AND fat/flabby. I refuse to be unable to keep up with my kids, to be able to 'see' the world. The drive is completely different this time. I'm not looking at my WoE as a 'diet', this is a lifetime change. I'm not looking at my exercise as 'a pain that I'll do until I can fit into my skinny clothes again', but as a lifetime change. The desire was there before, but it wasn't "burning" like it is now.

I've still got a ways to go but I can tell you this time is different and there is no going back to my old ways. Heck, I'm prepping right now for climbing Mt. Fuji!

EZMONEY
06-30-2008, 09:53 PM
..... I bet I'm heavier than when I first joined. I guess I'm thinking my weight from a year ago - didn't realize I've been here since Sept 2006............

Just think "where" you might be if you hadn't joined here! :hug:

Keep on keeping on and never-ever give up! You just never know when that cookie you give up today turns into the ticket 2bthinagain of the future ;)

SunshineRunner
07-01-2008, 12:12 AM
Just think "where" you might be if you hadn't joined here! :hug:

Keep on keeping on and never-ever give up! You just never know when that cookie you give up today turns into the ticket 2bthinagain of the future ;)

100% I agree - this giving up of just ONE cookie on just ONE certain day - may be the ticket you are looking for - the light that clicks on and tells you that you are ready.

Honestly - if I eat bad one day - I can eat bad for a whole week (not like old bad, but my new idea of bad eating!) and if I eat healthy for one day - I can eat healthy for weeks. I can honestly say that even though I have dined out multiple times over the past few weeks - that I have been 100% on plan for me for at least 3 weeks.

I know we all know about trigger foods - but sometimes they really are a pain in the arse. If I have one piece of something that is a trigger for me - it causes me to crave sugar or salt or whatever crap food I just had 100 times over.

Anyways - I'm going to finish my side of this discussion over in our FAB THREAD "That 70's Show"....I have a lot to say to you (as always) and hope to help....but that will have to wait until the morning...I have been reading this thread all day long (and another one you have been hanging out on) and plan to cheer you up and kick your butt at the same time!

I'm here for you 2bthin - as is everyone else. You can't live on the 3fatchicks....but you can definitely learn to live well through it. Talk to you in the morning...I'm up way past my bedtime!

:hug:
~Amanda

Fat in Hong Kong
07-01-2008, 02:53 AM
I can do it all and be it all for my kids -- but not for myself -- and my DH says I should also want to do this for US because the romance is really in crappy shape. I have no interest in - well you know --
I am so ashamed of my body. When we were dating I was the hot chick that everyone gave a double look too. When I'd visit him at work, heads would turn, now I avoid his office Christmas party and never ever visit his office.
If I detest looking the way I do, then why can't I fix this?
In my original post - I neglected to say that I had been thin my ENTIRE life until I had our children. Our oldest is 6. I was 133 when we were first married. And I thought I was fat at 133. ?????
Can you feel my pain and tell my heart is truly breaking?

2Bthinagain ~ I could have written the above quote myself almost word for word ... the only difference being that my kids are older! I was 132lbs when I got married, and like you, I used to make heads turn ... now, I hide myself away and hate going out for social events. I often wonder what my husband really thinks of me now ... don't get me wrong, I know he still loves me, but I often wonder if he still 'fancies' me. When I think back to how I used to be, it's hard to believe that he doesn't wish I was still the same ... I'm sure he does (I know I do!) ... and it hurts.

You can see from my joining date (2001!!:o) that I am still in the same position that I was when I started. I've yo-yo'd up and down for years ... but I'm never going to give up, because I know that one day I WILL get to where I want to be ... you're never a failure as long as you don't give up completely, and I intend to keep at it until I succeed!:)

PaulaM
07-01-2008, 02:18 PM
Just want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who have taken the time to post and who continue to post.
I have read every word - and I'm sorry if I haven't replied yet directly to you. I am glad to know that there ARE others who have been there and truly understand. This is the hardest fight of my life.
I can do it all and be it all for my kids -- but not for myself -- and my DH says I should also want to do this for US because the romance is really in crappy shape. I have no interest in - well you know -- :o
I am so ashamed of my body. When we were dating I was the hot chick that everyone gave a double look too. When I'd visit him at work, heads would turn, now I avoid his office Christmas party and never ever visit his office.
If I detest looking the way I do, then why can't I fix this?
In my original post - I neglected to say that I had been thin my ENTIRE life until I had our children. Our oldest is 6. I was 133 when we were first married. And I thought I was fat at 133. ?????
Can you feel my pain and tell my heart is truly breaking?
Sorry to dump on everyone, but thank you for being there.

Your words could be mine (except for the kids part!). I had a fabulous figure for many years, and now there is no way I want any of those people to see how far I've fallen. I've been walking every day for the last 7 months, and have been trying to eat a lot better, but I don't really think I've lost much weight (haven't weighed). I just get up every day and say today I'm going to walk for a longer time and try and cut out more food. It hasn't "clicked" for me either, cause I feel very deprived when I can't eat what I want to and I don't think I want it badly enough at this age (53) to really do it. For the most part I do eat pretty healthy stuff but I will have the occasional chips or too much pasta. I'm in the middle of menopause too which makes it harder. I'm not going to beat myself up daily though. Just going to keep on trucking and trying to do better.

P.S. Edited to say I don't hold back on the sex part, you will find most men are happy to sleep with you no matter if you feel gorgeous or not. It will help you with stress and will make him a lot happier, so I say just go for it. In my experience the more you do it the more you will want to do it.

Pandora123a
07-01-2008, 02:53 PM
2bthinagain,

You can do this...breaking that barrier is huge, but is doable. My suggestion is that you add one thing...keep a food diary, every bite every day. Like the scale it will keep you honest. My hunch is that when you get to your barrier weight you also have started eating a little more...and that is enough to stop the weight loss which then triggers more eating.

You can do this. Believe it and live it. We are here to help.

ninepaw
07-01-2008, 02:57 PM
I understand what you're saying.
The first time I was on here and doing well I started at 222, and got down to 205 or so, then something happened(I'm still not 100% sure what triggered it) and I gave up on the whole endeavor.
I came back last week, determined to make this the last time I try this, to find that I weighed 237 - I've gained 32 pounds!? Yikes! Enough of that, I have to stop this stupidd cycle!

I think what triggered me to get started this time is mostly the comfort zone thing- For some reason, when I was 232-235, I wasn't bothered. But as soon as I saw I was THAT close to 240, I didn't want to do it anymore.
It wasn't JSUT that, because there was somethingthat triggered me even getting on the scale to find that out. My mom had weight loss surgery in March and she's now wearing smaller sizes than I am. I should be really happy for her, and to a certain extentt I am, but at the same time I'm really jealous - She can now shop in stores I can't, normal stores. I can't really do that right now. In addition to that, some relatives visited recently and I went shopping a couple times with my cousin. It's really depressing to be a size 18 shopping with a junior sized 9, I can tell you that. All in all I just started resenting my weight and the things that come along with it.

We're all going to have different triggers that finally make us say, "I'm really going to do it this time." I know how frustrating it is to lose, gain, lose, gain, etc. but you really just have to stick it out. That's why you have all of us here, after all! :hug:

2Bthinagain
07-01-2008, 04:01 PM
It is 3:55pm on Tuesday - thanks to each of you who continue to post. Every single one of you have had great things to say. I wish we all lived in the same town!!! I just want to wrap my arms around you and cry on your shoulders. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The queen of excuses.
I guess because I was thin for the majority of my life - I've never had to struggle and work at it -- and I don't get it...I don't know how the skinny women eat cake with frosting at birthday parties -- okay yes, I do -- because they work out at the gym 2 hours a day 5 days a week.
I don't exercise NEARLY as much as I should...
And as for my DH still wanting some romance -- nope -- he's flat out admitted he is not physcially attracted -- the stomach I think is the hard part..to go from a "4 pack" to almost a double belly...(yes disgusting image), the flap over the csection scar is just lovely. Anyway -- he has admitted he is not attracted to that, and I don't blame him, yet he constantly strives to stay in shape for me. I'm telling you - my guy is a sexy man...he could totatally be in PEOPLES sexiest men alive issue. I'm sure when we're out in public people are confused -- "he's with HER?"...
Anyway -- I know all the things I "should" do, like keep the food journal, make time for myself - get up early and exercise before the kids get up - stop drinking soda -- I know those things -- then I look at the calender and I say "If I really tried 3 months ago - and stuck with it, I'd have lost 30 pounds by now".
Why? Why? Why? Why can't I do this for MYSELF and my family???
Why?
Thanks again to each of you - I need you !!! And Amanda - I'm looking forward to your post on the "that 70s thread" over in Support Groups -- everyone else - feel free to join us there too.
I know I need a swift kick in the pants - please let me have it.Thank you all SO much for letting me cry about this.

WarMaiden
07-01-2008, 04:09 PM
Anyway -- I know all the things I "should" do, like keep the food journal, make time for myself - get up early and exercise before the kids get up - stop drinking soda -- I know those things -- then I look at the calender and I say "If I really tried 3 months ago - and stuck with it, I'd have lost 30 pounds by now".

Pick just one thing and make the change today. Quit waiting. Take a baby step.

I suggest that you stop drinking soda. Quit it cold-turkey. It's a source of extra calories with absolutely no benefit to your body.

Do it today, stick with it for 30 days, and in a month you'll have established a new, healthy habit of NOT drinking soda.

The key is, you must JUST DO IT.

onesullengurl
07-01-2008, 04:20 PM
Maybe try talking to your regular doctor about it if you haven't already?
( not for surgery or pills or anything ) ... but maybe he will have some advice about eating plans or exercise you can do .. don't give up !!! don't tell your self you can't do it ... you can and you will ! :)

also maybe try making your self a routine with the scale ... you can slowly cut back on it even if you want...

start weighing every other day at the same time
then work up to once every two days at the same time ...until you get to
once a week same day same time everyday ... ( I had to do that , I know it sounds silly , but it's just like any other addiction ! )





http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar066/tiny02/lb/150/105/142/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)

Slashnl
07-01-2008, 05:14 PM
Hey, I'm with you! I had lost 16 pounds last year. Then I got sick, and totally lost myself. Now, it is darn difficult to get back on track....

But, what is our alternative??! There isn't one. I guess the way I look at it is that if I don't keep trying to get back to where I need to be, I can always gain more weight. That would be devastating.

So, let's take it one day at a time... one hour/minute at a time. Fake it till you make it. Whatever cliche we need to make it work!

Hang in there!

Desiderata
07-01-2008, 05:30 PM
Word to WarMaiden's suggestion! Just one tiny small change at a time. You can do this. If you can't absolutely quit the soda cold-turkey, try a healthy substitute -- get naturally flavored seltzer water instead! All the zing-y carbonation and tasty flavor but no calories -- it may be an easier step than just going straight to plain water.

Stop worrying about what happened 3 months ago -- and start thinking how many amazing changes you can make and look back on, three months from now.

I know you can do it! Good luck!

2Bthinagain
07-02-2008, 07:49 AM
Yes I have talked with my DR about it - and he said to carve out time for myself each day to exercise - and of course to eat healthy. So again, I "know" what I "should" be doing - but it's so hard and I give up so darn soon, then I get mad at myself because if only I tried harder - I would have lost more by now.
I am drinking lots of sugar free kool-aid which should be helping with my soda problem but my main thing is the CAFFINE in the morning - how do I wake up??
Yes - baby steps -- I will work on that - and I will start my food journal today. I promise. :)

AJ113
07-02-2008, 11:13 AM
....I am drinking lots of sugar free kool-aid which should be helping with my soda problem but my main thing is the CAFFINE in the morning - how do I wake up??.......You don't need to give up caffeine. There is as much caffeine in diet soda as there is in regular soda. Coffee is also rammed with caffeine - if you want it, drink it, just don't put any sugar, cream or full-fat milk in it.

C'mon now, we've had the self-pity thing, time to shape up and move on. STOP telling yourself you can't do it, START telling yourself you WILL do it. Just try it. Go on, try it. What have you got to lose - only your weight!

Glory87
07-02-2008, 11:40 AM
I also love tea in the morning to wake up.

I don't think I could have lost weight by just planning on cutting back on food during the day. I was only able to lose weight (and to keep it off for 3+ years) but knowing exactly what I was going to eat everyday.

Planning saved me and planning still carries me, everyday.

beginme
07-02-2008, 10:13 PM
I can totally relate to how you feel!! Hang in there...you WILL get it right!

By the way....where's the 70s support group thread? I'd love to join.

chick_in_the_hat
07-02-2008, 11:03 PM
beginme - I think it's this one (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=143229).

2Bthinagain - I think it's great that you are asking questions, knowledge is power. I also heartily agree with the posters that pushed more positive self talk. You are worth being a healthier happier person. :cb:

As for the original question? I've been pretty close to the same weight since I joined in 2005. So I hear ya. :)

beginme
07-02-2008, 11:22 PM
Found it, thanks!

SS Mama
07-03-2008, 02:14 AM
Sure, just a few months ago after the baby was born I was down to 159, yes, 159. What stupidity landed me back to 205?!!? Who knows. And in such a short time too, sad. I barely noticed the weight creeping back up, how does that happen? How is it even possible to gain 40+ pounds in a couple of months? I don't know. I always gain weight AFTER I have a baby, I'm not sure why.