For me it's my husband Ian... bless him, he is 6'5 and 200lbs and can eat anything he wants and not gain an ounce... but he is so supportive of me... today i was bent over picking something up off the floor and he gave my bum a love tap.. i said..'sexy isnt it'???... he said yes.. i said he didnt have to lie to me, and laughed.. he told me he wasnt lying.. he said i am sexy to him and he supports my weight loss for two reasons only.. 1- so i can be healthy to be with him longer.. and 2- because I want it so bad..
he helps me figure out my cals on fitday.. helps me work out exercise routines, makes me eat enough cals ( weird i know, but i forget to eat sometimes), and when he eats chocolate or something i cant eat, he wont eat it in front of me.. he goes downstairs and stands at the kitchen sink to eat it...i used to make him a full english breakfast every morning, but he made me quit cause he said it isnt fair for me to have to smell it cooking then not eat it..
i guess the synopsis is this... with my husband and all of you from 3fc for support, plus my desire, i know i will succeed..
06-29-2008, 07:51 PM
It's my hubby, hands down. Although my mother and sister are also super supportive. They just don't have to live with me and my constant talk about food and dieting like DH does LOL!
06-29-2008, 07:53 PM
I do. no one else in my life cares if I gain or lose weight.
06-29-2008, 07:55 PM
WE do ladybugnessa:hug:
06-29-2008, 08:02 PM
hands down my hubby! He is amazing. He knows just when to be encouraging, sensitive, or to just let me vent!
06-29-2008, 08:02 PM
ME, then hubby, followed by our cat, ChubChub.
I say that because hubby and I are both on this journey. We've joined TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) and we even accepted positions as officers to help solidify out commitment, and just to give back to the club we both enjoy so much.
We try to be supportive of each other, but there are days when our heart is barely in it for ourselves, let alone each other. Or as much as we try to be supportive of the other, our own journey has to come first or we get distracted. I do think we do a pretty good job, though. We struggle with being our own worst enemies, as it's very difficult when one of us wants the other to join in a bad choice, like going out to eat somewhere unwise for the other to say "no thank you, I'd rather not," instead of "sure, what the heck."
We're learning, though.
I say our cat, because we got her from the humane society about two months ago, and she weighed nearly 18 lbs. We agreed going in that we would choose the cat that chose us, and she was the first cat we met. Like us, she was middle aged and fat, but she instantly wanted our attention and spent equal time and attention between us (unlike another cat we'd seen at PetSmart, that picked my husband but wasn't at all interested in me). She had a growly crabby meow that reminded us of the cliche of a 60 year old, bleached-blond trailer park chain smokin' granny.
We put her on a "senior" formula catfood and low calorie treats. It's only been two months, and the transformation has been amazing. She's a different cat (and now cat-shaped to boot). As she's losing weight, she's become more mobile, more active and more interested in playing, and just has a new lease on life. It's really like she's a different cat.
It's reminded me what a 10% reduction in weight did for me. Seeing it happen so fast, it's really inspiring me to put alot more effort into my own transformation.
06-29-2008, 08:03 PM
WE do ladybugnessa:hug:
oh :o I know you guys do.... but on a day to day IRL basis, it's all me. and I'm really cool with it. cause see, they don't NOT support me either. it just IS.
06-29-2008, 08:31 PM
This is a good question, really.
My hubby is mostly very supportive. In the past, my attempts at eating healthfully and losing weight were kind of short lived. This time...I have been at this more of a long, long time. I am grateful to have lost this much weight over many monthes (longer than I've been coming to 3fc) I think at one point he was thinking..."When are we going to get back to normal around here?" I keep telling him....this IS normal now.That being said....he now mostly keeps his treats out of the house.
My sweet mamma loves to go out to dinner...and she now always asks if I can find something that I can eat at the particular restaurant. It kind of drives me crazy because she calls it my "diet". But, she's 85...so, it's OK.
But, it's mostly up to me to make sure the food I want and need is here and what I don't want in the house is gone as often as I can.
Of course...this forum and a another WL have been my main support. Thanks SO much to all of you here at 3fc.
06-29-2008, 09:15 PM
You guys are so, so lucky, with the supportive husbands. Truly. Please go and give your hubbies a great, big kiss and hug. That's so wonderful.
My support has all come from my blog readers, this forum, and a much smaller forum on AOL. In my real life it is all me. But that is just making me stronger.
06-29-2008, 09:15 PM
My support comes from this forum. I'm in tears reading the touching stories of you ladies that have such supportive mates to help you along the way. I think you are probably the exceptionn rather than the rule. I think a lot of people feel alone in this struggle and this forum is the only thing outside ourselves that keeps us OP.
06-29-2008, 09:28 PM
Getting my husband on board is a bit of a miracle.
We met through a personal ad I placed in which I made it clear that I was fat (I gave height, weight and other vital stats) and dieting looking for someone who was in the same situation or sympathetic to it.
Well when I met hubby, he was fat, but not dieting, nor interested in dieting. I was just relieved to meet someone who wasn't repulsed or exclusively attracted to "fat chicks."
In the past, he would agree to go to Weight Watchers or TOPS with me, but he'd make it clear that he was there to support me, not because he was interested in such things. It was very demotivating.
Finally I decided that it didn't matter why he was willing to cooperate, I was going to take advantage of it.
It's still a struggle, especially since like the Slim Quick commercial, he can lose weight with a lot more dietary freedom than I can, so he still brings home burgers or Taco Bell occasionally as a surprise "treat." Sometimes his idea of supporting me and mine are very different.
I think that's why ultimately making, being, and finding our own support is very important. Support groups, this site, keeping a journal... these are support that we can bring into our lives whether or not our significant other and families are able to be a true support.
06-29-2008, 09:49 PM
My fiance has been supporting me through my weight loss, because he has been on the same journey as well. His stats right now are 340/269/240. He kind of tends to support me in some negative ways... Like if I am unhappy with my rate of weight loss, he *****es at be because i didn't go to the gym that I have been paying $74/month for... and that even though he binges, he works off the calories via exercize. I know he's not recognising it as negative critcizm, but I do :(
Anyway, my parents both really support me... My dad is trying to lose weight but he swears by adkins and says he has some sort of modified way he does it and it "works" for him, but he is not losing anything... He eats protein protein fat fat, and then he eats a carb laden sugar free chocolate. Just because its sugar free does not mean its carb free!!! Ugh... And then my mom, she has been gaining weight because she moved to Michigan to be closer to her dad for a while before he passes, and her aunt makes her home cooked meals every night and she's probably put on a good 20 or so pounds, so even though she supports me with words, she doesn't really show it with her actions. All she says is she needs to get back to a size 12, and that her size 14s are hurting her. Oy.
My brother just tells me he's proud of me for taking the initiative to lose weight, that he can tell a difference, and that he's motivated to drink more water and less sodas, even though he's the fittest one in the family (he has a different father so I'm guessing the wonderful stick thin genetics he got from his dad has something to do with it. Boy eats nothing but pizza and microwave meals and doesn't gain a pound. He's been 200 pounds since he was a teen and he's 30 now. Ugh)
I don't really have friends, so I don't get support via that route. Only two friends I have are pencil thin and have to worry about eating enough to stay alive, because they never eat and its not like they try to be thin, it just happens that way and they are picky eaters. they have no clue what it is like to be overweight, so they can not support me and they have shown no interest in my weight loss. Go figure.
I just think its funny I'm held as the authoritative figure on nutrition in my family, and I'm the most overweight!
06-29-2008, 10:16 PM
but on a day to day IRL basis, it's all me. and I'm really cool with it. cause see, they don't NOT support me either. it just IS.
YUp. Same here. I don't have any family (my parents are dead, not close to my sib, and I haven't spoken to cousins etc. in years). My husband and I are separated and although we're still quite friendly and get along well, he's not supportive in that way (not that he's unsupportive or negative, just not rah-rah for me).
My closest girlfriend who is also my gym buddy does give me some support, but it's hard for her because she hasn't lost any weight (she has other health issues and isn't really as committed as I am) and so she's lukewarm at best.
Honestly I like that it's all about me. It means that my motivation and commitment is 100% internal and not reliant on outside support. It makes me feel stronger and more able to stick with it.
06-29-2008, 10:17 PM
MY whole family and very loving bf
06-29-2008, 10:35 PM
My husband is my biggest supporter. He'll run to the ends of the earth to do anything. A good example is tonight scallops were on the grocery list, the poor guy ran to 4 different stores to find them (seafood counters were closed). I certainly didn't expect that of him.
He never complains when I'm gone at night at the gym or biking while he takes care of our little guy, he's never said a negative word about the dining room becoming a home gym or the massive jars of protein powders and vitamins taking over the counter space. He's never blinked twice at expensive equipment purchases, he'll even go get them.
I love that dude.
My second biggest supporter is my closest friend (next to hubby). She trains with me, logs her food with me and will exercise with me on a moment's notice although I know she has a gizillion other things to do. When I get discouraged she's the first to tell me how much I rock.
And there's ALL of you lovely people helping along the way, answering 2 a.m. questions, sharing the same victories, setbacks, doubts and fears.
Thank goodness for you all.
06-29-2008, 11:56 PM
My husband is very supportive (we're losing weight together), but my MOM is simply amazing! She, herself, works out at the gym 3-5 times a week, takes yoga, and also line-dancing! She has always shown concern for my health, but additionally, she's so incredibly supportive in helping me pick healthy foods, new clothes when old ones start not to fit, and showing me new exercises to try, AND she celebrates with me on every little victory. I feel so blessed to have her as my mother and as my best friend.
06-30-2008, 12:54 AM
Hubby for sure, he's awesome, loves me fat or less fat, he's a doll, Mom & Dad to be sure, so supportive and encouraging, all my co-workers are rooting for me too, not too many negative people in my life
06-30-2008, 08:56 AM
My biggest supporter is my husband. He loves me as I am right now but he supports me in any way he can with what I want to do....which I'm determined to get healthy and get down to a weight that I know will work for me. We've been together since high school (for about 13 years) so he's seen me when I was thin and have stuck to my side through my wild journey with my weight.
He's one of those guys that can eat just about anything too and not gain....but he exercises a lot and works a very physical job.
He is my cheerleader, he gets excited when I'm excited, he consoles me if I don't lose at my WI or gains....he helps me keep track of points, etc. I am very lucky to have him.
06-30-2008, 09:06 AM
It means that my motivation and commitment is 100% internal and not reliant on outside support.
and for me, the SELF-reliance, self motivation and self support is what makes it work IN THE LONG RUN. I'm not saying in the beginning having support from others isn't helpful, but I think that in order to truly succeed in the long run (and i'm over two years into this journey) that the true motivation and support HAS to be internal.
In 1981 i smoked. my then fiancee (now ex husband) told me "if you don't quit smoking we aren't getting married". so I quit.
guess what I did 7 years later when we seperated? yep I started smoking.
i didn't quit again till 1995 when my mom was dying of lung cancer and my motivation was internal....
weight loss for the long haul is the same thing. don't do it for the husband, the parents or the kids. do if for yourself, because YOU WANT to.... it's the only reason that works.
06-30-2008, 09:10 AM
Friends and family are pretty good -- especially my SIL in Ontario -- but 3FC is the greatest source of support for me. :yes:
06-30-2008, 09:57 AM
that the true motivation and support HAS to be internal
my motivation is strictly mine.. i know i cant do this for anyone but me... but... the support i recieve from both hubby and 3fc's helps me keep my motivation up when i want to give in...
if you hear bad things about yourself all day every day it would be really hard to stay happy and motivated.. just as hearing good things all day every day keeps you in a good frame of mind, keeps you happy , and focused.. at least for me it does...
the reason im fat in the first place is from lack of self esteem.. which i got from my family members... i was put down all my life, and as i gained weight, i just gave them more amunition.. it's a 20+ year cycle im breaking... so, for me, at least in my life, i Know positive support can help.. im a walking bill board for what negativity can do
06-30-2008, 10:08 AM
My Husband is my number one partner in crime. We are supposed to be dieting together, but we end up bingeing together.
My biggest support are the ladies from the Accountability/Planning/Menus's thread here on the 100lb club and my Blue Team on the Biggest Loser Challenge. Also, I have some great mentors who have moved on to the maintenance threads.
06-30-2008, 10:27 AM
My friends and family are very supportive. I am also blessed to have my cousin and cousin-in-law who are also trying to lose weight so we email a few times a week to encourage each other.
My common law husband is not very supportive. He is slim, works in a physical job all day and can eat pretty much anything and doesn't gain a pound. He basically thinks I'm weak willed and lazy. He doesn't understand what it's like to be overweight.
You ladies who have supportive husbands are very lucky. It's hard to be around someone who doesn't understand what you are going through.
I'm doing this for myself now though, and I'm not really concerned with whether or not I have his support. I'm not going to lie, it would be nice if he were on board, but it doesn't change the fact that I want to lose weight and I have a choice every day about how much I put into my weight loss effort.
Today I'm choosing to do the very best I can do. All the posts on this site give me so much encouragement and a feeling of not being alone in this journey. Thanks to all of you for sharing.
06-30-2008, 10:48 AM
It kind of drives me crazy because she calls it my "diet". But, she's 85...so, it's OK.
Isn't it funny how after years and years of "dieting" all of a sudden the idea of being "on a diet" is annoying? I'm like that now too - even if it's meant as a compliment. As in: "wow, your diet is really working" it sort of makes my hackles go up and I have to make a consious effort not to snap at them :o
My DH is absolutely in my corner on this one. But he's really more of a cheerleader than a coach - which is perfect. He's finally gotten to where he doesn't ask me if I want cookies or ice cream any more (in the past, I would say I wanted to lose weight and the next day he'd be bringing home Cold Stone) and, instead of nagging if I skip a workout, he tells me how proud he is of me on the days I don't skip. He's even not complained a bit about no more fast food or pizza (or Hamburger Helper). If he's in the mood for something like that he has it for lunch at work. And, I think he's actually starting to like sweet potatoes and whole wheat pasta :D
06-30-2008, 12:18 PM
he is in my corner and cheers me on. forgives me when i screw up and applaud me when i do well.
i dont have any friends that REALLY support me. more like sabotuers (sp?) and watchers. "what is she eating today?" "working out again?"
i am my main support. i have family that are cheerleaders but they are not in same situation. altho they certainly SHOULD be! haha.
but they have to get there on their own; just like me,
and lyn? you TOTALLY deserve to have a wonderful supportive loving hub and i hope you find him SOON!
06-30-2008, 03:08 PM
My support....it comes from here.
I know I'm new and still getting the hang of this...but reading through y'alls posts, and how supportive you are of each other, it makes me soooooo glad that I stumbled across the website!
06-30-2008, 03:35 PM
My husband is pretty supportive, in a follower way. He has also quit sugar, except for the occasional soda or ice cream--which is a pretty big deal, as he had a habit of at least 2 sugary sodas per day. He's eating lots more veggies with me and has been willing to try out crazy healthy stuff when I want to, and he's working to be healthier in general. He's not serving huge quantities of carbs at dinner anymore, and he's watching his portions a bit. (We had a conversation last week even about how it's hard for him to just quit eating, even though he's full, if there's still stuff left on the plate.) It's very heartening to see him changing as I change.
My kids are supportive in that they understand why I want to eat healthier, and they're trying to do some of it too. I like being a better influence on them.
My mom is pretty supportive, we talk about issues with food (especially sugar) and weight and health.
No one else in my Real Life knows that I'm doing anything different with food and exercise.
07-01-2008, 06:27 AM
My husband, David, and my best friend Tina are the most supportive people in my life. To be honest, though, it is hard to find motivation in them. I have to find it in myself. David and I have been together for 15 years and have 3 kids. He has seen my steady increase in weight. Both he and Tina love me for who I am and honestly don't care what I look like so if I mention weight loss, they are both saying "Yea, good for you!" but other than that they completely avoid the topic. I am learning how to talk to myself to keep on track with my eating and exercising. Kellee
07-01-2008, 06:37 AM
I'm REALLY lucky...I can't think of ONE person in my life that isn't supporting me! My husband, ex-husband, kids, friends, even the kids' friends have been SO supportive and cheer me on and give me SO much feedback...they keep me accountable and challenge me when they see me going for something I shouldn't. My husband and kids will come to the gym with me ANY hour of the day or night so I don't have to go alone...my ex bought me a year's subscription to Women's Health...Honestly I could go on and on. Thanks for starting this thread, I think I have been taking my support system for granted...I'm going to have to blog about this tomorrow :)
07-01-2008, 10:23 AM
My husband is very supportive and extremely positive. I also have a friend who is very positive. She sits next to me and give each other tips!
07-01-2008, 11:12 AM
I love sitting next to xxxtine everyday. It is so much better to be going through this with a friend. My fiance is very supportive too. Slow but steady!
07-01-2008, 03:24 PM
I get the most support from those who are making the same journey--those of you with supportive SO's should count your blessings. But know that it is possible to do this without the family support, just a little lonlier.
07-01-2008, 06:05 PM
I get the most support from my hubby. He is amazing and encourages me to exercise even when I don't feel like it (but know I should). Like today, he offered to go upstairs and nap, so that I could comfortable enough to exercise downstairs with my video. I'm definitely going to go home and hug him and tell him how much I appreciate his help. :)
07-02-2008, 12:46 PM
That's a tough one--- I mean, everyone in my family is all "Rah Rah" for me...
My mom, though, has a lot of weight to loose as well and she can get kind of gloom and doom about how "hard" it is, and "really, Jen, it's almost impossible" but cheers me on for every scale victory too...
My husband... well, he's fantastic. He's a great supporter, never complains about the food in the house or the new recipes--- he's always saying how proud he is of me that I'm losing the weight... BUT... (and there always is one) if I decide to go off plan, he's NOT the angel on my shoulder! He's all for it "you want a donut-- how about a half dozen?" "you want a slice of pizza, how about a large with pepperoni?"
Like GirlyGirlSebas: "My Husband is my number one partner in crime. We are supposed to be dieting together, but we end up bingeing together."
He won't ever make the suggestions first, but at the first inkling of "bad behavior" on the horizon, he never tells me "Jen- are you crazy? Absolutely not".... probably b/c I'd just cry or yell at him for doing so... but STILL. And, he's a big guy (290, 6'4") and could stand to lose his belly. He'll wake up at 5:45 in the morning to go to the gym, which cuts into "Us" time at night... but still sneak all kinds of bad food at his jobs... We've been dieting since Jan 1st--- I've lost almost 40, he's lost 10....
And we ALL know that's not how it's supposed to happen. So I don't like that he's cheating... but I don't think I'd like him to be out-losing me either!
07-02-2008, 01:16 PM
My whole family is pretty supportive -- my parents and my fiance. But none of them are very involved in my weightloss attempts, which I actually prefer, as I feel having my thin-and-in-good-shape fiance trying to be a part of my weightloss would just annoy me, as much as I do love him.
And of course, the people here are so supportive too!