General chatter - Maid of Honor Speech-HELP!!




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Smiling_Sara
06-26-2008, 09:21 PM
My sister gets married next weekend, and I have to prepare a speech. I am so scared of public speaking, and there will be over 300 ppl there!! Has anyone ever been in this situation? Guide me please!!


Silverstar33
06-26-2008, 09:44 PM
Hello,
Tell a great story about you and your sister. I've been MOH many a time, and it seems a story that is really special to both of you is the way to go. It will mean a lot to her, and the crowd usually loves it, too. Not to mention, it's something you can probably tell without being super rehearsed. I'm sure you're going to do great - just remember, you're doing this for your sister, not everyone else who happens to be there.

CountingDown
06-26-2008, 10:30 PM
Agreed - share a special story - particularly if there is a humorous element. Keep it short. I have seen MOHs go on and on and people rolling their eyes - enough already! Something from the heart - and even if you are nervous - it will come off fine.
Enjoy - don't stress - have fun and let us know how it went :)


walking2lose
06-27-2008, 12:27 AM
EEk... Born... i'm right there with you! Not to mention my DH and I are hosting the after party at our house, so I've been SOOO busy it's not even funny is this saturday. I know mine will come off mushy and sentimental, but I just wish I had time and energy to prepare something!

bargoo
06-27-2008, 10:00 AM
I went to a wedding recently where the best man was the younger brother of the groom. After telling a few funny stories of sibling rivalry he ended with "Today he knows who the best man is ". Of course that won't help you. but I agree with a humerous story, perhaps something that happened as young girls.

PhotoChick
06-27-2008, 11:16 AM
As a wedding photographer I hear TONS of speeches and I can tell you right now that short and heartfelt is the way to go. I think the funny/cute story thing is good and some people are really good at public speaking and can drop funny stories and so forth ... but if you're not comfortable with it, then it can come across as awkward if you try to "force" it.

Don't ramble, don't think you have to be clever or witty. Just be honest and speak from the heart. If you have to write it down beforehand on an index card (and don't write more than will fill the front and back of the card - that's a good guideline for "not too long" :) ), then do.

And honestly the best speech I ever heard (and one that made me cry) was from the sister of a bride who said simply "You've always been the big sister I looked up to, and now you've brought me a wonderful big brother, too! I love you both. Congratulations."

.

Smiling_Sara
06-27-2008, 01:34 PM
Thanks everyone!! It's actually for my little sister ( which is a pretty sensitive subject with me as well ) I guess I'm just scared of getting emotional before even being able to get the speech out! I have read some sample speeches and they make me tear up just reading them, let alone talking about how happy I am for my little sister.

Admittingly, I'm also scared about others asking me about being the older sister and still single with no bf. :( I think I could lose it if someone brings it up. Some have said nobody would say anything, others said some would, not to be mean, just to inquire.

PhotoChick
06-27-2008, 01:47 PM
Come up with a good, smiling response now so you'll be prepared. Inevitably some well-meaning distant aunt will pinch your cheek and say "And when will we get to come to your wedding??"

And you can respond with a big smile "As soon as I find someone as wonderful as [new BIL]."

.

mandalinn82
06-27-2008, 01:56 PM
Ooh, Photo, good answer!

I agree with having an answer prepared. Seriously. I do that when I anticipate someone is going to put their foot in it...just prepare an answer in case they do. No stress and you don't get emotional since you're prepared.

This was my toast to my sister:

For those of you I haven’t met, I am Sis's younger sister, Amanda. She and I grew up just barely more than 15 months apart. We went to the same elementary schools and middle schools, and our social circles sometimes overlapped. Until high school, we basically couldn’t get away from each other at school or at home.

The thing about being so close together in age is that it makes everything you experience just a little more intense. Little arguments, normal sibling rivalry…all of those things were escalated while we were growing up. It was almost as though being so close together made us feel everything toward each other a little more deeply than we might have otherwise.

The nice thing is, though, that this doesn’t apply only to the negatives. Being so close in age to Sis has intensified all of the happy things too, especially as we’ve grown older. We went through attending college together, getting into relationships together, and in the past year or so, getting married together, and the happiness and gratitude I feel that I have such a wonderful sister in my life can’t be explained. My joy as I stood, watching Sis and BIL get married today, was indescribable.

It may have been a rough road when the two of us were younger. Today, however, I am so happy for the two of you, and so in awe of the person I have watched my sister become, the person I have learned my new brother-in-law is, and the relationship that you have built together, that it makes every petty high school argument worth the struggle. I am honored to be able to welcome BIL to our family, and can’t wait to go through the rest of life’s milestones with such amazing people by my side.

So to <Sister and BL's names>, my best wishes for a long, happy, prosperous, and exciting life together. I am so glad to have the opportunity to share it with you.

To <Sister and BILs names>

Tomato
06-27-2008, 02:00 PM
Make sure you have the speech on a card if you forget what's next.
Also, practice, practice, practice! Deliver the speech to yourself in front a mirror; if you don't want to look at yourself, at least memorize it (by saying it out loud) - that should help. I would be nervous if I had to speak in front of 300 guests (heck, 20 would do) but it is just the first moments. If I rehearse it well, then I just 'slide' into it after the first few words and it goes smoothly.
Good luck!

skinnybeach
06-27-2008, 04:05 PM
oh man, this has me thinking about what my little sister will say at my wedding...i know its going to be a sob festival!!

Good luck and i second keeping it short. My SIL was MOH at her sis' wedding this spring and her speech was very short, sweet and heartfelt!

PhotoChick
06-27-2008, 04:19 PM
Manda, what a great speech. :)

.

aphil
06-27-2008, 07:34 PM
Admittingly, I'm also scared about others asking me about being the older sister and still single with no bf. :( I think I could lose it if someone brings it up. Some have said nobody would say anything, others said some would, not to be mean, just to inquire.

This issue brought up something that I wanted to mention. I was at a wedding where the younger sister was the bride, and the older sister was still single (and pregnant). Please, don't let the speech be at all about YOU. :lol:

In this particular instance, the maid of honor told everyone about how SHE got the bride and groom together, and about how she always thought that it would be HER getting married first, and well, she is going to be doing SOMETHING before her younger sister...blah, blah, blah... :lol:

My husband looked at me...and said "was the speech about the bride and groom, or about HER?" :rofl:

GradPhase
06-27-2008, 07:50 PM
theknot.com has a lot of great tips

and Manda your speech had me in tears!

techwife
06-28-2008, 08:58 AM
I have advice on what NOT to say...I was at my niece's wedding and the MOH was talking about how much they drank and how many guys they slept with during college and how she's so glad she finally found the 'right' guy. Tacky....very tacky.

Smiling_Sara
06-28-2008, 10:59 AM
I have advice on what NOT to say...I was at my niece's wedding and the MOH was talking about how much they drank and how many guys they slept with during college and how she's so glad she finally found the 'right' guy. Tacky....very tacky.

wow, that is terrible. How could someone say stuff like that?

Thanks for the advice everyone. I am gonna have to really hit the grind this afternoon and write one. I have a couple ideas. If anyone else has any advice, on things to say, or even on how to remain calm please let me know....

Etta
06-29-2008, 06:15 AM
I don't think you'll get any better advice than you have already got.

Speaking in front of the mirror until you feel comfortable, keeping it short and to the point, having an answer ready for any prying guest about your own single status. And don't forget to smile. All really good advice.

I would also add, don't be tempted to have a few drinks to settle your nerves. It's too easy to end up having just one more and then the concentration goes.

You could also, after rehearsing in front of the mirror, try it out in front of a few family members.

Hope that helps a bit.

Good luck.

Apple Cheeks
06-30-2008, 01:03 PM
I was the maid of honor at my brothers wedding last year. I am the oldest, and I still don't have a boyfriend, but no one asked me about it (that I can remember anyway.)

Usually if people do ask me about that, I will just say something like, "I just haven't found the right guy yet" or "I'm happy with my life as it is." Or I make a joke about being the family spinster, and one day I'm going to be the crazy cat lady with 100 kitties.

Anyway.....

I'm not the sappy, sentimental type, so I was not going to go that route with my speech.

Instead, I chose to try something funny, with some amusing anecdotes which I exaggerated for comedic value. I chose to think of it as being like one of those celebrity "roasts" but not as raunchy or insulting. I did throw in some heart-felt things, though, so that there was something other than jokes.

Also, I was afraid of getting choked up, and knew that throwing in some funny stuff would help me avoid falling into a sap-trap and getting myself over-emotional.

I started out by introducing myself, since not everyone there knew me.

"Hello, my name is Apple Cheeks and I'm the maid of honor. And, for those of you who don't know, I am also John's sister." I then talked about how long I'd known the bride, and how we'd become good friends.

I mentioned how I was thrilled to be a part of their special day, and how when I was growing up with John I never dreamed I would be a part of such an important event in his life.

I then paused, waited for the "awwwww's" to die down, then said, "That's because despite my best efforts when we were growing up, John actually survived to be an adult." (People laughed, especially those who knew us as kids, since my brother and I had some good knock-down, drag-out fights as most siblings do).

After that, I put on a short "roast" of the bride, telling funny (but PG rated) things about her. I made sure they were things that wouldn't mortify her or cause her family to squirm. Once we'd all had some laughs at her expense, I then countered it by mentioning her best traits, like how sweet and charming she is.

I wrapped it up by getting back to a more sentimental note by saying I could see how happy my brother was now that she was in his life, and so on. I also said that I knew my mother (who is deceased) would have just adored the bride and would have welcomed her into the family with open arms.

I said that I was happy that I was gaining not only a sister, but a friend.

I concluded with a short toast, where I wished them happiness in their life together and said I hoped to see nieces and nephews running around in a few years.

The whole speech was no more than about 3 minutes long. I had people both laughing and going "awwwww," which is exactly what I wanted.

In comparison, both the best man and a groomsman clearly "winged it." They obviously hadn't prepared their speeches in advance, and seemed to only have a vague idea of what they would say. They rambled on (and on, and on, and on....) without any clear sentiments or thoughts to express, and the humor seemed either accidental or flat.

It irked me, because I felt that my brother and his new wife deserved more than a half-assed, rambling speech on their big day.:mad:

I think they agree, because my sister-in-law and my brother still both tell me that my speech was their favorite. :D

ThisTimeIsDifferent
07-01-2008, 09:34 AM
OMG!!!

My sister got married a few years ago and asked me and my younger sister to be her Maid Of Honor. Of course we said yes but we were never in a wedding and didn't know what to do other then throw her a bridal shower, and a bachelorette party. The wedding was over and we were at the reception and they were getting ready to do speeches. My sister comes up to us (the bride) and asks us if we were ready. We didnt want to tell her that we didnt have a speech so we told her we were ready. OMG....It was the most embarassing moment of my life and I will never forget it! We walked up in front of everyone. They handed me the microphone first and I just froze! The only thing I said to my sister was "I love you" and then I started to cry in front of EVERYONE :o:o:o:o....LOL!!!!!!!!

Do you ever have one of those moments were you wish you could go back in time and change that one thing?? Well this is one of them...lol

junebug41
07-01-2008, 10:00 AM
They handed me the microphone first and I just froze! The only thing I said to my sister was "I love you" and then I started to cry in front of EVERYONE :o:o:o:o....LOL!!!!!!!!

Do you ever have one of those moments were you wish you could go back in time and change that one thing?? Well this is one of them...lol

Oh, honey :hugs: It's ok. It's a wedding. People understand!

I did go to a wedding once where the daughter of the bride (in her late 20's) gave the MOH speech and sobbed uncontrollably through the entire thing. And she did NOT cut it short. No one knew what she was saying, except something about being "sad" that day... she was not exactly thrilled about the wedding.

walking2lose
07-01-2008, 10:55 AM
I ended up giving my toast (not quite a speech) during the cake cutting - I talked about how my friend and I met 10 years ago - became neighbors and then friends. The story is a humorous one. I then mentioned how much (good and bad) we had been through together as friends and ended by saying nothing could make me happier than to see her with a good man who complements her so well makes her so happy. Gave best wishes and all that.

It was nothing stunning, but I did try to make it personal and sentimental.

Here's the kicker - the best man said nothing and lurked in the background. He never said a word. I also had make a congratulatory toast the night before at the rehearsal dinner - impromptu - mainly because no one else had said a word and it just seemed appropriate to do so. He never said a word there either.

Isn't that improper and kinda rude???? Shouldn't the best man know he has to give a toast? I felt bad for my friends!