Weight Loss Support - Feeling Lousy About My Looks :(

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Glib Gurl
06-25-2008, 03:35 PM
I am not sure what my problem is, but lately I am feeling lousy about my looks. I think it has something to do with the fact that it's summer and I'm sweating ALL the time and generally feel gross. Also, I'm back at my all-time highest weight, so even as I'm striving to get into better shape, I'm having a hard time moving about. All in all this makes for very low self-esteem and horrible body image.

I know that I will feel better once I *look* better (i.e., lose weight) and I am working on that. But what can I do to feel better emotionally right now? I'm dressing nicely and trying to focus on good things about my looks. But still that doesn't seem to help. I'm not sure what I can do to get out of this funk. Any suggestions? Advice? Hugs?

DISCLAIMER: I am not looking for compliments. In fact, I'm finding that they make me feel worse. I just went to a meet-and-greet with some folks I've been communicating with over the internet on another messageboard. After the event they were all contacting me telling me that they don't know why I'm so down on myself because I'm "so pretty," "have such nice skin," etc., etc. I know in my heart that these things are true, but emotionally I just feel like like poo. So yeah, I'm not looking for anyone to tell me that I look good. I'm just looking for help in learning how to feel good.

Thanks you guys.



06-25-2008, 03:36 PM
It may sound silly, but for me, getting a haircut always makes me feel more attractive. It's hard not to when you pick out something that flatters you, and your hair feels so healthy.

06-25-2008, 03:38 PM
You are correct that what you need right now are not compliments from other people. You need them from yourself!

Positive thinking and self-talk might go a long way to help you feel better. Think about the things you like about yourself. Think about how amazing your physical self is *right now*. Our bodies are amazing machines. Change the tape playing your mind to be full of positive beliefs about yourself. I really believe we need to love and respect ourselves *where we are*. That will help us get where we want to go.

06-25-2008, 03:59 PM
HECK YES, get an AWESOME new haircut! That always worked for me at my highest weight.

Also: if you have it, flaunt it. If you can't hide it, decorate it. Try accentuating the things you DO like about yourself (if you like your eyes, be sure to do them up, if you have a beautiful smile, put on some nice lip gloss or lipstick, if you have nice breasts, wear a push up bra, etc) and continue to wear nice clothes so that you still look fashionable. I know when I personally see someone well-dressed and fashionable, I think "ooooh! she looks AWESOME!" and the weight of the woman doesn't even cross my mind nearly as much as, "Wow, I love her clothes! <3333!"

06-25-2008, 04:03 PM
aww Glib Gurl :hug: I'm sorry you are feeling so down on yourself. I think everyone has days (weeks) where they just feel blech. I betcha even some of our amazingly incredible maintainers have days when they just aren't happy with the way they look. Sometimes it might be stuff we can't control like TOM (or a full moon, or flooding in the midwest, or a gypsy curse ;) ) or it might be something we're eating that throws our system into a tail spin but whatever it is, we can tough it out and conquer it!

I agree with Midwife - you need to find positive things to focus on. No matter how small it may seem compared to the negative things you have filling your head right now. Start with just one positive thing (congratulate yourself for picking a super fantastic shade of nail polish or for keeping your cool and being nice to the b****y customer at work. Anything.) and make that positive thing the thing you keep in the front of your mind. Then everytime you are tempted to let the negative stuff get a word in edgewise, add one more positive thing. Might be slow getting started but you'll be surprised how the positive thoughts can snowball just as quickly as the negative ones did :hug:

06-25-2008, 04:04 PM
I suggest a pedicure. It's my cure-all.

06-25-2008, 04:19 PM
Hey! :wave:

Gosh, not a lot of detail about your weight, height, age... But regardless of what those numbers are, you can help yourself feel better by getting active. Don't worry about the sweat or the difficulty--just do something to get moving! Maybe just a walk in the early morning--an exercise DVD that's not over the top--it doesn't have to be strenuous, just something more than sitting and moping. :yes:

Is there a YMCA you could join? Lots of classes, machines, etc. to help you get more fit. How about getting yourself a good pair of athletic shoes for all this activity? :chin: That might help as well.

Good luck!


Glib Gurl
06-25-2008, 04:21 PM
Thank you guys for your feedback. It's strange - I look in the mirror all the time. I'm intimately familiar with how I look. In fact, I wasn't all that freaked out about my body until I realized that my body looks like my mom's and then remembered how *horrified* I was when I was younger to see her naked . . . all the bumps and rolls just grossed me out. And now here I am. *sigh*

You guys giving me support is a huge step in the right direction. Thank you.

Glib Gurl
06-25-2008, 04:23 PM
Hey! :wave:

Gosh, not a lot of detail about your weight, height, age... But regardless of what those numbers are, you can help yourself feel better by getting active. Don't worry about the sweat or the difficulty--just do something to get moving! Maybe just a walk in the early morning--an exercise DVD that's not over the top--it doesn't have to be strenuous, just something more than sitting and moping. :yes:

Hey there

I will update my profile to give you my stats.

In terms of doing new things, I'm taking tap dancing lessons (loved them as a kid) and I also bought a Wii (haven't received it yet in the mail) and plan on doing Wii fit so . . . hopefully that will get me going!

06-25-2008, 10:29 PM
I'm gonna join up for the positive self talk camp. I'm even gonna say fake it if you have to right now.

I think tap lessons are a fantastic idea - I always say :yay: to the prospect of new shoes. :D

Oh and a :hug: cause I've SOOO been where you are right now.

06-25-2008, 11:16 PM
Focus on your health and beauty will follow. Eat healthy! Stop eating sugar and simple carbohydrates. Drink more water. Take a brisk walk every morning. You will start feeling better and it will affect how you feel about yourself. Be kind to yourself!

06-26-2008, 11:33 AM
Well about the only thing that makes me feel better is working on it and controlling what I eat that day. Knowing I am controlling it is the only thing that keeps me on track.

I just saw the scale go up the other day and instead of giving up I told myself I would disregard the scale and just stick to my plan b/c it is bound to work over time. Guess what, that 1.5 pounds left and took another one with it! When it's hardest is when you stand to make the most progress!

I agree with thesusanone! BE KIND TO YOURSELF!!! {HUGS}

06-26-2008, 11:44 AM
My hubby and I have started our weight loss journey in March, but I started a bit before him. I have been on more diets than he has, but I did have a warning for him that might apply to you: when I start to lose weight or try to lose weight, I feel worse about myself than ever. Why? I think it's the constant thinking about eating and exercising and my body...it's like a magnifying glass on my image. I think that's also what might be going on for you, although only you will know. Just hang in there and you'll feel better. In the meantime, I agree: try to pamper yourself in some way and try to tell yourself positive things...it takes great effort, but anything worthwhile does and you are worthwhile!!!! <<<<HUGS>>>>

06-26-2008, 12:19 PM
Hey glib, I can totally relate. My attitude towards myself is always bad but lately it's especially bad. At the risk of getting too personal, when my husband and I get ready to get "intimate", he says that I look like I'm going to a funeral. :lol: I'm not sure what to do, but some of the things I am going to try: positive self-talk, I am going to get a haircut like someone said, I am making it a goal to put on makeup and not dress frumpily, and I am going to try doing some journaling...maybe if I put it on paper it would help. I know that this negativity towards myself is only hurting my efforts. Good luck!

06-26-2008, 12:33 PM
Stop the negative self-talk! Everyone on this site is taking positive steps not only in regards to how they look, but more importantly, in improving your health.

We are all so much more than how we look to the outside world. There are beautiful, angry, mean people and I would never choose to switch places with any of them. When you realize how beautiful you are on the inside, that will reflect positively to others.

Stay strong.



06-26-2008, 12:44 PM
I just had a bout with that same feeling this past weekend. So I decided to dye my hair jet black (a color I haven't ever been before) [think Sara Ramirez from Grays Anatomy NOT goth style], plucked my eyebrows and got new make up and tips from the girls at Sephora.
I figured if I make myself look prettier everything else will follow as far as taking care of myself.

06-26-2008, 02:47 PM
well I guess pretty much everything has been covered already but I think .. stick with dressing nice ( even if your gonna be at home all day by yourself ) it still helps your mood .. also if you try to do this Early in the morning right after you awake it will help you feel motivated to get your day going essentially giving you the feeling of " more energized )

also really try to kill the negative thoughts you got going because sometimes whats inside is what makes us feel frumpy on the out and vice versa ... just remind your self that you DO have good features and focus on what those are .. also remind your self that you could look alot worse! and that nobody is perfectly beautiful .... ( NOBODY , I stick by my words)

I agree with trying to get more active ... this will not only make you feel better emotionally ( its proven! ) it will also help you towards attaining your goal in which turn will lift your spirit even more and help you feel more motivated .... and this is a chain effect because you will no doubt not be so down on your appearance looking at your reflection when your in good spirit not to mention alot of times what we are feeling on the inside shows on the out and that makes us feel bad so then we are not motivated to do anything in turn making ourselves look worse ! and feel worse !! its a big evil cycle.....

hang in there :hug:

Beach Patrol
06-27-2008, 02:47 PM
I know exactly how you're feeling, Glib Gurl. Almost every day, upon seeing my chubby self in the mirror, I am slammed with voices in my head "You're fat, you're ugly, you're old, you're pathetic." I sure do hate those voices! But at the same time, I'm intent on seeing what is GOOD about me -so I can fight those negative voices- and I'm not talking personality wise. I mean LOOKS wise. I have such a beautiful smile! So I make sure to use it a lot! I have pretty eyes. I make sure to keep my nails neat & trimmed & painted - even if it's just a clear coat of polish. I keep my hair done nicely. I have great calf muscles! - and my butt ain't droop'n (yet! LOL!) - the point is, for every negative voice that shouts at me, I try very hard to drown it out with a positive voice. The good in me far outweighs the bad.

I know I'm not perfect. The fact is I DON'T HAVE TO BE. Whew! - that's a load off! ;) :hug:

06-27-2008, 03:39 PM
positive self talk does not help me, getting a haircut does not help, putting on make up does not help and putting on pretty clothes usually makes it much worse. the only thing that helps me is exercising and be continuously making healthy food choices.

06-27-2008, 10:07 PM
:hug: Oh I hate that feeling!! and I'm sorry you're feeling that way too.

For me sometimes I can't think positively. And all the thoughts are spun into some negative thing. So, I try this thing I learned. There's a trick that says if you smile it makes your brain think you're happy. So sometimes I just smile and pretend laugh and I start laughing for real. And I keep it and my mood lifts. I then do something to get my mind off of what I'm thinking. Cause sometimes I just can't stop those thoughts, but it helps me to be active in something, anything. Even watching a silly show on TV.

here's :hug: (((((((((hugs))))))))))))) to you and a better, stronger day...

06-27-2008, 11:50 PM
I totally understand where you're coming from Glib Girl, it's hard to feel good about yourself. It's hard to talk about it to anyone without looking like you're fishing for compliments. I've gotten myself into that rut a million and one times, but here's a couple of things I do to get out of it.

I do one good thing for myself everyday. Everything from finally using my expensive it-takes-10 minutes-that-I-usually-don't-have exfolliator, to brushing my teeth the full two minutes even if I'm in a hurry. Even getting extra fiber, or taking the time to break up my multi-vitamin so that I don't get queasy after eating it. The little bit of good that I do for myself makes me feel better.

Or if it's a real good rut, I put on some great inspiring music that I can shake my booty to, turn it up, and dance and sing, and maybe clean while I'm at it. The sillier, more off key, the better. With that, I've done three great things for myself: I've gotten my heart rate up, I've cleaned something that has been waiting to be cleaned, and I feel better. Last time I did it, it was with the soundtrack of Sister Act. Queen works nicely as well.

I hope you feel better!