100 lb. Club - Struggling again..
06-23-2008, 08:17 AM
(I know I posted about this also in the accountability thread - then, I decided to post here too....hope that's OK)
Hi...yesterday didn't end well. Everything about yesterday changed...we went out for lunch with mom and then were invited to the neighbor's for a dinner or pep. pizza as a thank you for taking care of their dog while they were on vacation. Six months ago, I could eat one piece of pizza and it would be OK. But..pep pizza lead to eating the ice cream and cookies for dessert, etc. But, I just don't have that same oomph in me now. I know that part of it is not feeling real well. I go to the doctor today. Hopefully, he'll have some answers.
I still need to lose 50 pounds and I want long term sanity with food. Luckily, I have not gained back any weight. Probably having enough healthy days along with the overeating days. I am not belittling what I have accomplished so far - but, I need to get my "I can do this" attitude back. I am not sure how - but, I'll give it my best. Last week was three days of healthy eating and four days of overeating (and binges). I just can't go back there.
I did talk to DH about keeping the house mostly free of goodies...especially since I am struggling. He kind of talks the talk..."You can do this!!" but, doesn't always remember to not bring ice cream and candy in the house. He's very proud of me, I know. It would be so easy to go back to food insanity.
What do you do when you need to get back your 'oomph' for healthy eating?
06-23-2008, 08:32 AM
Just read your signature and do it!
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." - Margaret Thatcher
Two meals out in one day would really be a challenge to me and I know how that one piece leads to another and then the "Oh well" syndrome.
Can you get yourself some special healthy food this week? Like fresh strawberries? It is possible to pamper yourself and stick to plan.
The only thing that REALLY helped when my ooomph was gone was to find this board and start posting. Just getting my thoughts out and heard by people that I know actually care and can offer constructive advice and or criticism.
I have been watching people without a weight problem eat pizza, ice cream and all kinds of fattening stuff for years. the differenced is that they do it as an exception and go back to a regular diet on most days.
You have to start thinking like a thin person. "gee, that was a good treat! to bad I can't eat like that everyday!" then move back to your healthy diet.
06-23-2008, 08:53 AM
I have been in your shoes several times. It's uncomfortable. There are those times where you just want to say "*** it - I don't want to do this anymore". The difference between the majority and the minority is that the majority quit.
When I feel like I am losing control, motivation, energy to keep going (whatever the problem is) - I do several things, give these a try:
1. Remind yourself how far you have come
2. Read the maintainers forum
3. Go back over old pictures, your journal, blog or whatever you have and see what things were like for you 6 months ago, or a year ago.
4. Make a plan for the day, one day at a time. Tell yourself to only focus on one day.
There are just going to be those times where you have to grind it out for awhile.
06-23-2008, 09:27 AM
I wish we could bottle that feeling of what is was like before we started losing weight- simple activities were more difficult-a walk in the park-flexibility. I used to dread getting in and out of the boat. If we could have a sniff of that when we needed it that pizza and ice cream just wouldn't look so good anymore. One of the things that I do is take a mouse size taste ie the fries sitting on my sons plate and you know what they didn't taste very good. I wasn't missing anything. Pizza- I took a a taste of the cheese with sauce on it- it was pretty good and I just had one more taste. I took the kids to dairy queen as a treat after a bike ride yesterday and I thought I will just have a taste of their ice cream. I didn't even bother and didn't miss it- because I can ride a bike again!!
06-23-2008, 09:40 AM
When ever I feel like not sticking to it I remind myself why I am wanting to lose weight anyway which is to be
1. healthy, feel sexy, look good next summer in whatever I want to wear. Make a list for yourself.
2. Right yourself a contract that your going to stick to it and put it on your fridge so you'll be reminded of it at all times why you are sticking to you plan.
3. It also helps me to get on 3fatchicks.com but it also helps to go online and look at other women who I want to look like, even though celebrity pictures usually are unrealistic I keep that in mind too.
06-23-2008, 11:03 AM
I remember talking to a girl at work. She'd lost 70+ pounds and still has another 70+ to go. At first she was going the gym every day-twice a day, working out with a personal trainer, doing very good with all her food.
But then one day she said it was hard. She'd hear everyone tell her how great she looked and felt like she could settle. She got lazy and convinced herself that she didn't have to go the gym "that" often. She still wanted to eat all her favorite foods and finally she started to agian with ho inhibitions or control. She gained back 30+ pounds. So....when it was all said and done she had gone backwards. All that hard work and she was starting to revert back.
I asked her if it was worth it and she said "No...after everything I went through and now I have to do it all over again."
So, ask yourself, "I've worked so hard to get where I am right now. I've made so many sacrifices and have struggled with this for all this time. Is it worth it to go off the deep end now and waste all that I've LOST (hee hee)?"
Why run a Marathon just to get half way?
No one said it would be easy. In fact....Losing Weight is a big serious challenge and you've come THIS far. You've made it all this way and have done a stupendous job. You haven't failed. So don't give up!
You can do this!
I was in your shoes last week -- totally lacking motivation, the will to workout, stick to my diet, etc etc. and I had two parties to attend at catering halls in one week... had cake, had a plate of pasta, etc. Had my TOM, blagh.
Just read some posts here -- that's what got me motivated again -- and sign up in an accountability thread to track your workouts and such. That has also helped me (the feeling if guilt I have when I have nothing to post for the day bc I was sitting on my butt all day).
06-23-2008, 11:58 AM
I'm definitly hearing what you're saying beverlyjoy. Right now all I can do is remind myself how far I've come.. and take one day at a time.
I'm faking the oomph this week... maybe it'll just catch on for next week.
06-23-2008, 12:14 PM
Hey BeverlyJoy - from your ticker, it looks like you just made it to Onederland! :bravo: Could it be that this recent milestone is causing complacency? I know sometimes we want to relax a little once we get past a major hurdle.
Instead, though, we can reward ourselves by pushing through to our next mini-goal!
I love this thread, BTW. I've been rocky for a long while too, and these posts have been really motivational.
06-23-2008, 12:57 PM
Sending you a big hug and and a hope that you can get through this phase and find the willpower and determination needed to stay the course. It's hard...I'm struggling too. Thoughts are with you!
06-23-2008, 01:02 PM
It is tough. I actually am going through a little struggle of my own right now just because of stuff going on personally as well. I am not planning as well as I used to ... I'm tired and I'm stressed and I just want to throw up my hands and say "whatever".
But you know what ... I know I can do this because I've been doing it. I know that I can stop because I've stopped before. This morning was back to being healthy and eating the right foods and I actually feel good. I feel like maybe eating well will help me deal with some of the other stresses in my life at the moment.
I dunno... sometimes just *doing* it ... just forcing yourself to say "ok, I screwed up and now it's time to move on" ... that's the only thing you can do.
Hang in there. I can't offer the best advice right now, but lots of sympathy.
06-23-2008, 05:43 PM
WOW...I want to thank you all with all my heart for your thoughts, ideas, strategies, experiences, and heartfelt 'oomph' that you sent my way. So many great ideas here. I feel like I can try and pick myself up and take it a day at a time.
It's funny...at first I thought...'how can I post about my struggles' - yet, so many of you had such good ideas and thoughts. So many of you can relate or have ideas that are helpful.
I think that this site, 3fatchicks, is the 'good stuff' of what great things can come from the internet. Just reading all of your thoughts and ideas has helped me to feel a bit more hopeful and empowered.
I will take your ideas....and, one day at a time, try to get back my oomph!
Thanks SO much.
06-23-2008, 05:53 PM
I hear ya! I've lost 8 lbs the last THREE months, not great, but not gaining either! I have to put a positive spin on it LOL as long as it's not going UP you're ahead right???
06-23-2008, 06:33 PM
A lot of the pointers in this link have already been covered, but here are a few additional ideas...
06-23-2008, 09:06 PM
Hi Beveryly Joy,
I really feel your pain. I know everyone's been there, and reading this thread is just what I needed myself. I haven't been posting lately, though I do come by every day just to keep up. I've really been floundering. When I started here I weighed 250, got down to 248, and now I think I'm about 253. So pretty much I feel at least I haven't gained a ton, but I'm also not progressing as I'd hoped. I had such confidence that "this time I'll do it for real! this time I'm going to lose the weight!". What happened to me? I know all the reasons I need to get healthy. I've been to the doctor and been told I have high blood pressure. I've had my kids tell me I need to lose the weight. I've had my brothers tell me I need to lose the weight. Why can't I do it?
Well, enough venting. I'm just here to support you, and tell you that I know you can do it. I am inspired by all of you, and I know that one day we will all be healthy together!
06-23-2008, 11:11 PM
I think with those of us who lose a lot... we get to a spot where we are comfortable with our bodies (not in totality but way more so then we have been in years) so it tends to absorb some of our more strict control and it takes even more focus to keep going... There isn't as much urgency I guess.
I've not been the best with food lately either and my loss the last 2 months has been slow since I've gone under 200. I've decided I need to focus on making food choices that I know won't lead me to a place where I have less control. New week. Clean slate... just move on forward.
Just know your not alone. :)
06-23-2008, 11:31 PM
I think with those of us who lose a lot... we get to a spot where we are comfortable with our bodies (not in totality but way more so then we have been in years) so it tends to absorb some of our more strict control and it takes even more focus to keep going... There isn't as much urgency I guess
I think that's a really good point. I know that while I really really really want to lose another 30 lbs, I am very happy with the huge difference between where I am now and where I was a year ago. It still amazes me that I can fit into a pair of size 12 jeans and that I'm wearing skirts (little short flirty ones) and that I'm not afraid to put on a top that's form fitting (although not too much!).
So yeah, I think that's a good theory as well and has a lot of merit to it. It is harder now because I'm SO very happy with where I am ... even if I know I'd be thrilled beyond words in 30 more lbs. :)
06-24-2008, 10:41 AM
I think Trazey has a good point, too. I know I was feeling a little unmotivated. So for a full month - I "gave myself permission" to maintain - which to me means 2-3 lbs fluctuation. And its amazing how much different about it all my thinking was!!! As a "maintainer" - I didn't feel guilty overeating on 1 day - if I forced myself to get back on track the next day.
Believe you me - I know what its like to make deals with myself - and to trick my brain into doing something. But I really felt like this worked for me. It helped get rid of a lot of guilt - and for the first time in a long time I wasn't either "On or Off". Since I feel like this is 90% in our heads - if we can work on that and not lose weight - I think thats ok.
All that being said - I know I need to get my self back in serious mode and take off more of this weight. And I believe that I will. Sometimes, as Dr. Phil says, we've got to "Fake it until you can make it".
Lastly - as I finish my rambling..... be kind to yourself!!! If you're anything like me - you've spent a lifetime immersed in bad habits, and bad mind-sets. That stuff doesnt go away overnight. And if it takes you 2 more years to lose the rest of the weight you want to - and you do it by working on your head, as well as your eating, then you will have accomplished something incredible!!!!
I read a lot of your posts here, BeverlyJoy, and I believe in you - and I believe you will live the healthy life that you desire :) :) :)
06-24-2008, 01:19 PM
I posted on another thread about this same issue so I hope I am speaking to a different crowd here.
I too have found that when I have a slump I look back to see how often I have been posting here and sure enough I realize that it has been a week or so. Then, I get back to reading and listening and thinking and writing. I am re-energized.
We all want the same thing. We all have these waxes and wanes. We all fall down. Most of us pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and resume what we were doing. However, sometimes the effort of getting back up is harder than other times. I think that is what you (and I) are struggling with right now.
I've been under a lot of unusual stresses this year. My mom has been seriously ill since the beginning of the year. I have co-power of attorney over her medical choices. Now, that is not easy to make life and death decisions for someone so close. Not once but several times.
My DH and I are facing a lot of debts we are paying off while, like everyone else here, trying to figure out how to pay for gas and groceries on what is left over.
My Dad is sinking into a depression over my Mom. He has almost given up on himself as well. He has been deemed a vulnerable adult as well. I am going to be returning to their home for 3 months (maybe more) to help him deal with the finances and other choices he is having difficulty with. He has his own health issues.
I am tired even after sleeping 9 hours each night, I am irritable and crappy a lot more than I like to be, I am scared and I am not sure how all of this will affect my weight losing efforts. However, I am still going to keep on keeping on. I truly believe that if I hadn't lost what weight I have lost, I would have had a heart attack by now from all of the stress I have been under. By eating healthy and losing weight, I have taken care of myself while I try to care for others.
I think what you are feeling is normal. I hit a complacency when I was able to finally get into some summer clothes that I had wanted to. After all, that was my goal last winter. I really hadn't thought ahead or "what next"? Right now just getting through today sounds good enough. I haven't found my new motivation yet but I am going to keep trying to do my best until it returns.
In the meantime, I bought myself a bike helmet and I plan to buy a bike when I arrive there. I am also going to get a season pass to their Olympic-sized municipal pool and go swimming ---often! I am packing all of my seasonings and non-perishable foods in one of my luggages so I will have those to help me stay on track with my food plan. And, finally, if I can, I plan on attending Daily Mass as often as I can.
Good luck and God bless, I hear where you are coming from.:hug:
06-25-2008, 11:20 AM
Hey there Beverly, I hope things are going better for you now. You're such an inspiration and I want to see you keep on losing! We are going to reach our goals.
Sometimes what helps me when I am trying to switch myself back from bad habits to healthy eating, is I buy a ton of produce and just make myself eat it all day long. A big bowl of greens, or steamed veggies, or raw ones, really takes the edge off. WHen I am pacing the floor wanting cookies I MAKE myself get out a big bowl of strawberries or cut-up fresh pineapple and eat it until I am full. Then I don't really want the junk as much. After a day or two of doing that, it's like the junk is out of my system and I feel a lot better.
Let us know how you're doing! EVeryone struggles. It's good to have people who care!
06-25-2008, 12:49 PM
Wow, again - I am touched that so many people care about me and believe in me and my journey. I guess I didn't realize folks were paying that much attention to my journey. Thanks again for your kind thoughts, ideas and wishes for me.
I printed out the motivation guide from the website, yoyoma. Some good ideas - especially, with me and exercise.
Yes, in the past couple months I have lost just two pounds - but, like Trazey says...better than gaining.
All of you have helped me. This 'living with food' can be a journey, all right. I had a healthy on plan day yesterday - that's two in a row. I am so grateful.
Thanks, again everyone. Hugs to you all....:hug:
06-26-2008, 09:24 AM
I hear ya-- I'm just coming off a full WEEK of "ahhh F*** it" and I'm struggling to stay on course...
I had to remind myself how far I've come and that I WAS feeling excellent adn really proud--- that I really messed up by getting pizza 4 days last week, eating over 2 dozen cookies (yeah, I know) and getting takeout several times... I went CRAZY and I binged horribly... and it's over. It HAS to be over.
Yesterday was my weekly weigh in and I was up like 10 pounds (but I know a lot of that is water weight from the high sodium and a lot of "build up" in there) and it kicked me in the butt. Funny enough, I went out last night to see a concert and a person I hadn't seen since January (when I started my journey) was like "holy CRAP jen! I didn't recognize you at first" and was sincere b/c he apologized for being stand-offish when I greeted him. So even after my 10 pound screw up... there still ARE results and there are still plenty more to get!!!